Ayesha's Saudade

Dia 30 de janeiro

2012-01-30T16:29:00.000-08:00

When i came into the room, all were there, waiting for me to arrive. A complete chaos it was. And yet, organized and highly finished. I could feel their anticipation. “What will she do now?” hang in the air. Same as every year. Sadness looked excited, expecting much. Melancholy was arguing with longing and desire about something only they could understand and make sense of. Memory, yearning, and fate were still struggling with the past. Foreigners wanted to put in a word as well, so ערגה hugged weltschmerz, and was holding hands with νοσταλγία and weemoed.

Yes people, it was the usual thing all over again. No dia 30 de janeiro é comemorado o dia da saudade. Oh u don’t speak Portuguese? Maybe Dutch? No? Greek or Hebrew perhaps? Also not? Huh? No German either? Caramba, what languages DO u speak? Anyway, in short English: Today is the day of saudade. And the good thing is, saudade can’t be translated. One can only feel it. And if u don’t? Well no saudade for u then. No worries tho, as u know what they say sometimes: chega de saudade. Besides, most people won’t have the stomach for it anyway, and rather stay at the surface of their emotional life, cherishing a “don’t worry, be happy” lifestyle, going for the lowest EQ possible, and suppressing, hidden somewhere deep down in their fragile system, the knowledge that their inevitable depression will arrive sooner or later no matter what.

Mostly i don’t care much about so called “special” days. Mother’s Day? Psaw! Such nonsense. Too many creepy moms in this world to celebrate that day. Christmas, Easter, or birthdays? Nah, not for me. Cliché, cliché, cliché. Valentine’s Day? Brrrrrr! Worst of them all! And Femdom Day (ah u didn’t know that eh, but yeah that’s right, july 24 coming, lol) only makes me laugh. Silly, silly, silly. Still, there r a few i observe. For instance, Yom Kippur. And so it is with the Day of Saudade. I love saudade. Reason why i called my blog “Ayesha’s Saudade”.

It’s the day i really let myself go. It’s the day i want to feel and remember how it once was with Shirah, my time in Colombia with those extraordinary men, the days in solitude and agony in Syria, my intense and lost love affair with the father of my child, the numerous relationships that came after him, as well as all the things that never happened, and never will, like for instance my meeting with Elizabeth in Jerusalem, ergo the future that will never come. It’s a moody day. A day of ups and downs. A day of sinking deep into a diversity of abysses, of climbing peaks that reach above the stars, of dwelling in depressions not known to me b4 and enjoying them to the fullest. It’s a day of music, tears, laughter, of lingering with emotions, of exchanging thoughts of suffering, pain, and unbearable sadness with Anita who went through some terrible episodes in her younger years, and recovering from that in each other’s arms. I love all that. There is nothing better than to go deep, very deep, to challenge my saudade, to embrace it, to let it overwhelm me, and dominate it at the same time. It’s the day of pure catharsis, strength, and vulnerability. It’s the day when i want to amplify any feeling, any mood, any emotion, to its extremes, to know my naked reality without any bias, without any possibility of escape. It’s a day of compressed and intense living in a short period of time. I long for saudade, to drown in it, conquer it, to possess it like a slave, and free it from its chains.

After a day like that, i feel refreshed, energized, and even more connected with my people than i was already the day b4. As a matter of fact i’m not really waiting to do all this on the official day of saudade, but take the day off for it whenever i feel like it. There r no bad moods remember?

Corrective measures

2012-01-27T21:32:00.001-08:00

That i’m not a fan of punishing, humiliating and degrading people when it comes to d/s in general and femdom in particular is all over this blog as well as in my comments elsewhere. I essentially differ in that from the majority of women who consider themselves dominant, as well as from many males and females calling themselves subs or slaves, telling the world they r practicing same and believe this stuff is inherent to what they call the “lifestyle” or “the scene”. I find activities like that disgusting, ridiculous, and making femdom only an extension of a society based on patriarchal principles, norms, values, and religious dogmas.

The daily dose of twaddle in blogs, forums, and groups about all those important household chores, like doing dishes and laundry, as a token of how dedicated one is to one’s wife, how grateful one is to be living under her rule, and getting corner time, having to write lines, or receiving a hairbrush spanking, when having failed to do same according to her strict instructions, or Lilith forbid having violated some other holy set of FLR rules or protocols, convinced me that these practitioners never mentally left their childhood status, and r trying to re-enact the relationship they once had with their mother, teachers in kindergarten, elementary or Sunday school. Reward, punishment, sin, repentance, worship, guilt, and absolution, r key concepts here. Freud and his followers would have claimed that these people would be happiest if they only could return to the womb. He also would have argued that some males feel so guilty for having a penis, that they want the thing to be locked up by their spouse, fantasizing she would have the guts to throw the key away. Not having orgasms seems to be trendy in those environments. Of cors there r also other reasons why men r into chastity. For instance, to sublimate impotence. Frigid women cheer guys like that, relieved as they r from performing themselves.

Often i see these so called slaves and subs as panting dogs, trying to please their master in an attempt to receive some praise in return for a job well done. No wonder that in these circles pet play is in. Lying breathless and leashed at her feet, licking same with unstoppable enthusiasm, is a common fantasy as well.

To dissociate myself from all this, i’ve called mine, feminine femdom, and the one that sprouted from patriarchal philosophy and male fantasy, vanilla femdom. Women who r lured into the latter, or enter this realm voluntarily, i baptized mommy-dommes.

Of cors this brought me an avalanche of criticism, hate, bans from forums, resistance, accusations, lots of name calling and foul language from people claiming it is their sacred right to trespass into territories which r not theirs (and never will be theirs), and to take over which can’t be taken over. After years of having observed this banality, in a way i’m still flabbergasted with their resistance to give their fantasies and actions a different label. But no, they keep on insisting that what they’re doing has everything to do with female domination and slavery. Most if not all subscribe to something called the loving female authority. Of cors the loving one is severely punishing her loved one when needed. Sounds familiar eh? Yeah, that's right, it’s similar to a religion where the good Lord is loving each and everyone…………….. as long as u do as he says. And if not? Well then u r in for a treat. Then thou shalt be punished and be brought down to hell. No wonder so many women in “the scene” expect their humble servants to address them with Goddess. And remember, no hanky panky at the side eh? It’s all monogamous. Exactly as their heavenly father ordered them to be and to stay like that forever and ever.

So, i will keep correcting them whenever i’m in the mood to do so. Not as a quest or a mission, but simply to keep them awake and to remind them not forget what their true colors actually r.

Naturally this is just one example of me taking corrective measures, and a minor one at that. I only brought it up, to give some perspective to the rest of this blog, and to make sure that all of u understand, that when i punish, humiliate, or degrade people, it will never have anything to do with feminine femdom.

Basically there r two situations in which i take corrective measures:
1. Seeking justice and revenge
2. Educating non-slaves

Seeking justice and revenge.

It’s no secret: I don’t trust any legal system. Ad nauseam people have tried to convince me that laws r there to serve us, to protect us, to give us justice when we were done wrong, and to save us from potential scams, crimes, and other lowlife activities. I wanted to believe them, as i too think that in principle laws could be all that. I even would add that laws could keep some of us from being tempted to do the wrong thing. But, like it is with so many good things, people r messing around with them, making them just another tool, to mislead, corrupt and abuse. Lawsuits became a game, where judges, prosecutors and lawyers r seeking fame, finding (or creating) loopholes, and r trying to interpret the law to their advantage, with little attention to do the right thing. It became a circus, and i’m done with that. The only time i’m willing to go to court is when it concerns minor stuff like winning an administrative disagreement or a money conflict linked to one of my companies. In those cases i rarely give acte de présence myself, leaving it to a team of hotshot vanilla bureaucrats to represent me, and to fight over the banality. I’m not seeking justice then. Nor revenge. The outcome is not really important to me. I just want to win. Which i mostly do. And if i lose? So be it.

How different this is when it’s getting personal, when one of my intimi or moi is harassed, threatened, or hurt. Then i won’t go with, nor would i rely upon, the law, the police, the judges, the prosecutors and the lawyers. Then a lot of what i wrote a few blogs back comes into session. Then i take things into my own hands. Then justice will be done. My justice. My revenge. At times this also comes into picture when i’m confronted with a horrible event outside of my inner circle, in the streets, a bar, a disco, a subway, etc.

Let me tell u a few short stories, for u to get the feel of what i mean.

1. After having participated in a conference at the Universidad Rafael Urdaneta, Alejandra and i went for a stroll in Parque La Marina. I noticed a group of men looking at us. Nothing unusual so far. Punks do that all the time. But they split up, with three of them following us, while the rest faked to have other interests, proceeding to walk in the same direction never the less. Then i knew, all of them belonged to what i would call scum of the Earth. Once in the park, two of them tried to hook up with us by making the usual stupid remarks about how pretty we were, and that the four of us could have such a marvelous time together if we would allow them to take us out, and more of that nonsense. Naturally it was only an attempt to get us off guard, to not pay attention to the third one who kept silent, staying a little behind, and the ones who tried to make us believe they already forgot about us all together. We tried to stay polite, and made it very clear to them we were not interested in their advances or company. Gradually the situation became tense, and more and more dangerous. It was that time when most people would try to get out of the situation, run, call for help, the police, or something. But we r not like most people. We, and especially i, come from a past where we were taught to take care of ourselves, and not wait for help, which btw mostly never comes, or way too late. Suddenly, but not to our surprise, the so called disinterested group appeared in front of us. We were surrounded. We acted fast, and mercilessly. In the end the one that had stayed behind, was left with a broken wrist and a bullet, coming from his own weapon, in his shoulder, while Don Juan and his amigo were confronted with several broken ribs, crushed testicles, and rather severe head injury. Once they saw what was happening to their friends, and their decaying brain matter had convinced them of the reality that we were not the easy prey they had thought, the rest of the gang wisely took to their heels, and left us in peace. B4 we went on our way, we called an ambulance to get the wounded idiots to an ER, then continued our stroll, and ended up making love to each other.

2. I love to dance. Especially on the floors of sleazy bars and discos in the more rough neighborhoods of metropolitan areas like NYC, LA, Buenos Aires, Rio, Johannesburg, Amsterdam, and Tel Aviv. I find it awesome to completely letting myself go in places like that, where nobody cares who and what u r, as long as u can dance, drink, and be wild. It’s there where i get the most out of making men and women crazy about me, and to want me to such an extent, that they would not hesitate to kill for having raw sex with me. It turns me on tremendously when they actually start fighting over me. If u would see me then, all sweaty and horny in my black and shiny latex mini-dress and heels, dancing provocatively and shamelessly making eyes at u, u also would join my cattle, unable to resist making a pass at me. And sure enough there would be plenty of others trying to prevent u from succeeding. It’s MyEgo showing herself in a vanilla environment, looking for trouble and sex. So far so good. Everything still cool and dandy.

I went to the ladies room during such a dissipation in Rio, and found a girl on the floor, bleeding. It turned out she was raped. Probably by more than one person. I had never met her, but couldn’t stop thinking of how she must have felt during the attack(s), the pain, the agony, the helplessness, and now the horrible aftermath of same, the physical and mental damage, the inevitable interrogations, the eyes of her friends, the gossip, and the uncertainty if she ever would find justice. So i gathered with a few friends, and set out to find the lowlifes who had done this to her. It’s then when having a lot of money comes in handy. We found a few rats soon. From there on it was an easy task to locate the culprits. I’ll spare u the graphical details of what we did to them. Suffice to say that justice was done. Real justice. Swiftly and cruelly.

3. Once, during a mission in the ME, i was captured by the enemy, and thrown into a filthy room for interrogation. For several days i had to endure intense vanilla cruelty from a couple of men who hated me for what i was and represented. I could barely manage the pain during the torture sessions they conducted on me. But i was trained for this, and the people who selected me for the jobs i had applied for voluntarily, had assessed me well. They knew i would rather die, than to give away any information. They knew i would want to dominate any situation, to stay on top of it, in absolute control, to drive my opponents into insanity by my behavior, to never give in, and to make them feel inferior to me, no matter what. Still, after a couple of days, deprived from food, drink, sleep, and having been tortured and raped several times, i felt lost, abandoned, and without any belief of a rescue. What kept me going was to fuel my intense hate for the people who were doing this to me to the extremes, by making up scenarios in my mind of how i would take terrible revenge on them should i ever get back my freedom. At the same time reality had made it very clear to me that i had to prepare myself for execution.

And then it happened. There was a noise. In came my people. Hardened men, brazen, and determined to get me out of there. Like thieves in the night they stole me from our enemy, and carried me away from my hell hole. Wounded and weakened, but not broken. I was saved.

On our way home, still in enemy territory, they came after us. We ambushed them. It was then i took my revenge for real. The simple sight of my torturers gave me back my strength. My comrades knew what i was capable of, but still were amazed and terrified when they saw my rage and fury and the final result of same.

There’s more. For instance when i corrected a couple of kkk members who deemed it necessary to exercise their right of free speech, or when i revenged Shirah’s death, and the time i went after a group of neo-nazis who firebombed a synagogue in Paris. But i prefer not to go on, and think u got my drift by now.

I hate violence! Still i’ve used it many times, and, although reluctant, very willing to use it again. It is the only language understood by scumbags, fascists, criminals, racists, their brethren and followers. It’s the best way for having a fruitful conversation with them, to solve a problem, to teach them respect, to instill fear, and to make them rethink their actions in the future. No bureaucratic process, diplomacy, jail time, rehabilitation center, or political negotiation, can match direct and merciless action against creeps like that. Not that violence ever gave me joy or satisfaction. Sure there was that rush of the moment. That feeling of doing the right thing, to enforce justice or taking revenge for me or someone else. The aftermath always brought me sadness tho, staying with me for a long time. Still there was never regret either.

Educating non-slaves

Back in 2009 i wrote : “I met plenty males who wanted to grovel for me, to lick the dirt off my boots, to be pissed in their mouth by me, to be whipped by me, to be humiliated by me, me a woman, one belonging to the weaker sex. And i tell u, i kicked, pissed, whipped, spat, whacked, tortured, and humiliated these males to exhaustion. And they loved it. The time came however, i discovered that in fact i was used by them. Like all other women, i went into their trap, having the illusion that i was their mistress, ruling them, while in fact i was acting according to their rules, by pleasing them, by humiliating them, by beating them to pulp etc. And i went into it eagerly, cos i really wanted to be a domina.” And i continued with: “All this has changed now, as can easily be deducted from my other blogs.”

Then came the years i developed the concept of feminine femdom, completely averse to patriarchal culture, norms, values, concepts, and fantasies, but entirely congruent with my desire to be the only one who decides what is done and not done. At any cost, and any consequence. And that’s how i live now for a number of years already.

Strange things can happen tho. Since some time, i found myself more and more attracted to crack down on those bragging wannabe slaves, those silly FLR types, and especially those quasi sophisticated and academic types, who seem to have a need to constantly inform us about their pedestrian femdom insights, patriarchal d/s fantasies, and boring daily FLR adventures. Oh, and not to forget those revolutionary activists, those self proclaimed leaders and scholars of the kinky world, who made it their mission to enlighten the rest of the rookies, to fight for their rights, to converse on higher levels with more developed/graduated non-slaves and mommy-dommes, and to convince their audiences that anything goes as long as it’s consensual and against the old establishment. I can’t stand them, cos when the heat is really on, when it gets dangerous, they easily back off, and want, even claim, the protection of the same people and systems they only felt contempt for and “fought” against, the time they felt safe to do so.

And no, i don’t mean in the usual way, the vanilla femdom way. I’m talking here to really go out into their world, really granting them their wishes, really fulfilling their desires and fantasies. But not like i did as described in my quote above, but with a deliciously sardonic twist. What does that mean? It means i take them on a tour, way beyond their boldest expectations. Lemme explain.

After having hooked up with my next victim (a.k.a. submissive alpha male), for instance in a fetish/sm club, and discussed with him the terms of our engagement (ssc eh?) at length, he feels at ease and comfortable, fully trusting me, and anticipating the time of his life. Then i take him to my place. No, no, no, not to the Labyrinth, and certainly not to That Place, but to a location some would call the dungeon of love, cruelty and despair. In that order, hehehe. Once there, everything changes. No more ssc crap. None of it! His desires and fantasies? Yeah right. Maybe in the beginning he still believes i will follow up on our agreement. Gradually his anticipation and trust will evaporate tho, making place for fear, agony, and an uncontrollable drive to get out, to escape from me, to go home to his loving female authority, far away from this awful domina he initially was dreaming of, but who managed to turn his dreams into a horrible nightmare.

To really degrade, humiliate, and dehumanize types like that the MyEgo way, and certainly not their way, excites me these days beyond my own belief. MyEgo way of degrading, humiliating, and dehumanizing a man is not play! I’m truly going for it, putting the pressure on him, making him feel a zero, a toy, a piece of shit, for him to realize that he’s not the slave he thought he was (and never will be), now that he finally met with a woman who doesn't play the game his way, a woman teaching him what it really means to beg, to beg without any result, any relief, to experience timeless torture, and true indifference regarding his desires, wishes, and fantasies. An arrogant and haughty woman, who openly and shamelessly makes him aware of the fact that she is in it for herself only, who is using him for her own satisfaction, mocking him for his lousy performance, his inadequacy to hold an erection under her severe whippings, laughing at his whimpering and tears, who considers him a simple and exchangeable tool, a non-human, a worthless worm, a filthy doormat, a disposable thing. Something he wanted to be, but never dared to admit. Something he wished for, but never wanted to come true. And now it happened. A whole new femdom dimension was added to this poor fellow’s thinking. He will never be the same, and traumatized for the rest of his FLR life. If there still will be one, hehe. And if, it will not last very long, cos the next time he’s “playing with his mistress”, he will feel lousy and think back, longing for me, and finding his wife a bad example of dominance. And she will feel it too. Maybe she will be relieved, lol. Back to good old and safe vanilla. A man can do laundry, dishes, and run errands then too, u know. Even kneel and lick her feet sometimes. Oh happy days.

Alpha males? Not in those places. Submissive alpha males? Only when they r pampered by their loving female authority.

I’m not only doing this in private. Humiliating a non-slave in public has it charm too. Making a character like that suck on the heels of my boots in a mall or the lobby of a hotel is hilarious. The trick is to get them down on their knees. Once there, there is no way back for them, no return. They will feel ridiculous, ashamed, and weak under the eyes of the crowd, but they won’t stop pleasing me. It’s like as if they’re hypnotized, and thus will do anything i tell them to do, no matter how disgusting, degrading, or dangerous. If u r a woman and, while reading this, felt a little tingle down or up there, u should try this once. Great way to find out if u r a feminine femdom too :)

Yes i know. I said it many times. I hate teaching. And it’s true! But there’s that other side of me too eh? I’m always ready to straighten people out, to help them to do the right thing, to educate them by showing them who they really r, and also to safe mommy-dommes from a terrible fate. What? U don’t know what their fate will be? Well think about it for a while, take ur time, and i’m sure it will come to u.

Afterlife

2011-12-31T11:27:00.000-08:00

I was looking for a more or less appropriate “end of the year” blog when (again) my long term friend and soul sister Rita unconsciously delivered the right subject right at my doorstep. This time she did it by referring, in her own blog, to the life and work of Alexandra David-Néel.

From ancient times on, many thoughts were thought, and many words were written about the immortality of body and/or soul. As everybody knows, the soul got most of the attention. Some tried to locate the soul as a physical entity, but most saw it as some kind of spiritual one. Some, if not most, had a religious background, others were more secular. Either way, i never found a definition or description which could satisfy the hunger of my scientific and spiritual soul combined. The most appalling ones i found in mainstream religions, which purposes, afraid as they were (and still r) to lose their power over the masses, always have been, often in an incredibly hypocritical way, to hide from their followers, the 'mystery' of life and death. As if the patriarchs, priests, scholars and other so called authorities of these religions had knowledge of this ‘mystery’ themselves lol.

The concept of reincarnation, and things alike, does nothing for me. So too r vampires and zombies not my thing when it comes to immortality.

In novels, nowadays movies and tv-series, immortality is a hot item as well. Juicy example: Rider Haggard's trilogy about the ancient Ayesha :) Very nice, entertaining, and at times capable of triggering in me a few interesting thoughts/ideas/fantasies about living forever, but nothing substantial.

It's a subject which has my huge interest. But i'm trying to see immortality from different angles than the usual, common, and known ones, a.k.a. the vanilla ones. The only and inevitable connection with the vanilla approach is of cors, that i’m a human being (well, some think i’m a demonic witch or something) who lives in this particular time frame, even if we would consider time only a human invention, and not a fourth dimension for instance.

So i take info which is and becomes available to me from all kinds of sources (science, uncommon sense, etc), and try to look at in different ways, using different paradigms, maybe even a fantasy, a dream, whatever. I take what is scientifically known, but, to further my knowledge, i dismiss to follow the methodologies and rituals of mainstream scientists. I gladly leave that to them, trusting they will timely publish their new discoveries when they find them, for me to use same in my own erratic and eclectic way.

Contrary to popular belief, from a biological, chemical, physical, and medical point of view, in theory there r no real major obstacles to obtain immortality in the far future, or at least create a situation in which living a 1000 years on average, will be as common as it is now to reach 70, 80, or a little more. To illustrate this a bit i randomly selected 2 videos which in my opinion shouldn’t be too difficult to understand for reasonably educated and/or intelligent people.

However, in case u belong to those who couldn’t care less about what’s going on in the field of aging, or r too lazy to make an effort to learn something about it, i would advise to simply forget about them and keep on going with whatever u r doing, joining the rest of the masses, and later die peacefully, in pain, or in agony, ignorant of all the possibilities u’ve lost on ur way to ur grave.

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The picture painted above will be a reality long after i’m gone. So, while some great scientists currently keep themselves busy with solving for instance that darn problem to keep a certain absolutely necessary plasma alive, for our body to be able to function well once it’s approaching its 600 years of existence, i’m more interested in finding a way to create some kind of afterlife in which i still will be able to enjoy femdom long after my physical body ( i mean the one that’s now still visible and touchable on planet Earth) has completely decomposed and nothing has been left of it. And that’s what, among other things, i’m trying to accomplish now. Sounds crazy huh? Yeah i’m sure it does. But i’m excited about it. So i do it. Besides, given my personality, i rather fail in doing what i want to do, than to sit still, waiting in docility, fear, or boredom, for, in this case, some deity, or whatever (super)natural power, to decide whether i’ll burn in Hell, will be allowed to enter Heaven, or simply rot away when the time has come to leave this life.

It’s quite a challenge tho, as i rarely meet someone who’s trying to do the same. But when i do, it’s bouncing off ideas and speculations like fireworks.

To get a glimpse in what kind of unknown trial and error brain draining and thinking world i’m moving around when trying to find a way to build and manage my afterlife, maybe an analogy of what it is NOT, will help.

There r people who believe aliens exist. Aliens of cors thought to be creatures not from planet Earth, but from outside. That’s why we call them aliens no? Like they would call us. Hmmm, maybe not. Given the vastness of our universe, and all the parallel universes that come with it, only an absolute fool would say that we humans can be the only living and/or intelligent organisms in named vastness. And although it’s not unthinkable that somewhere there could be creatures more or less looking and living like we do, i still find it remarkable, if not laughable, that people mostly think of aliens as, in one way or the other, comparable to us in shape, ways of thinking, fighting, etc. Seems that many humans r way too moronic and ignorant to comprehend that the probability of this is more of the opposite. Just take for instance gravity. A living being on a planet with let’s say 100 times the gravity of Earth, would never be able to walk like us, and probably would look more like a pancake or a napkin. Get it? I don’t want to take the usual, the known, and agreed upon, as my point of reference. I don’t want to take what seems natural to me for granted as the truth. I’m looking for something which doesn’t fit my thinking at all!

And it can be done. Yes, against all odds. I did something like that when i created feminine femdom, and disconnected myself from the vanilla world, its rules, morals, and thinking, and only kept using and taking from that world to further develop my new world of femdom. It wasn’t easy to accomplish this, many resisted and slandered me and my ideas of what femdom is and what it is not (and still do, lol), but it taught me the first steps to this new deliciously challenging project. But it’s like a devilish and horribly frustrating crusade as well. A crusade into the unknown of the unknown, aiming at not gaining knowledge as we define it, but something different. Maybe even the opposite of it. This sounds crazy to u? Again? Grrrrr!

Let me finish then with 3 quotes. Two of Arthur Clarke, and one of Einstein. Maybe those will penetrate a part of ur foggy and rusty brain:

“The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible.”

“How inappropriate to call this planet earth when it is quite clearly Ocean.”

"You cannot achieve a new goal by applying the same level of thinking that got you where you are today."

And if this is still not enough for ya, then ponder this one of Golda Meir:

“Moses dragged us through the desert for 40 years to bring us to the one place in the Middle East where there was no oil.”

NO!

2011-12-18T22:59:00.001-08:00

Picture this: U finally made it. U finally convinced ur better half to take the lead in ur household. After years and years of frustration, begging, endless discussions, manipulation, bdsm gifts, dragging her to so called fetish events, and even threats to divorce her, visit a pro-domme, or take, what we in this part of the world call, a By-side, she finally agreed to dominate u, to make u her slave, subbie, dog, pig, servant, butler, knight, of whatever had spooked through ur brain and groin, u fantasized about or dreamt of.

Yes the time has come now, for u to be only there for Her, for Her desires, Her wishes, Her needs, or any other thing which could pop up in Her mind for u to do. Even kneeling at her feet! Yes, even that! But like the strong man that u r, u had no doubts, no problems, and no hesitations, to only live for Her. Joyfully, eagerly, and totally aroused, u do the dishes, the laundry, the ironing, the vacuum cleaning, and make the bed. Running errands, kicking ass of all her undesired stalkers, licking her boyfriend’s sperm off her boots? Those things can only excite u, make u feel alive, and give u purpose to live. Every day, without exception, u r there for Her, ur Mistress, ur Goddess, ur All. There simply is nothing u wouldn’t do for Her. Ur life is entirely now in Her hands. To do with it whatever She would want to do with it. U r completely fulfilled and happy. And will be, every day, weeks, months and years to come. Till death does u part. Yes, that’s it! And if She would want u to die for Her, u wouldn’t hesitate a nanosecond, and die with a smile on ur face, and a hard-on of unheard proportions. No limits.

So She leashes u, and let u lick Her feet while watching the News. She spanks u with Her hairbrush, She gags u with Her soiled panties, and teaches u how to spoil Her girlfriends. And when u fail? Corner time for u boy! Writing thousands of lines like………..”I will always obey my Mistress, because I’m her devoted slave, and She is my Goddess”. And much much more. Just to make u happy.

And what u love most of ur Goddess, is that She’s so creative and adventurous, constantly finding new ways to please u even more. For instance, she bought u the latest chastity device, and a steel collar snugly hidden under that other collar when going to work. She also makes u wear pink panties, after having thrown all ur manly underwear into the dumpster.

Life couldn’t be better.

But actually she hates all this. She never felt like a domina. She never wouldn’t have wanted to be awakened to one either. She’s just playing along with ur morbid desires, cos she loves u, and wants to give to u what u said u needed so much.

But u moron became convinced She had changed for real. That up till now She just was hiding the REAL She, that woman driven by that natural dominant streak in Her, oppressed as it was by that damned patriarchal society for ages, brainwashed and indoctrinated by her sleazy teachers, her lousy parents, her soapy religion, and that overall damaging credo: “Women should follow their husbands”(or whatever creepy male specimen they were connected to). But u took care of that eh? U took advantage of that credo, supported as u felt by what u found on the Internet, in blogs of ur brethren in distress, the lectures of seasoned bdsm gurus, and last but not least, by the encouraging words of those incredibly dominant females already blossoming in the lifestyle, a.k.a. Mommy_Dommes.

As time got by, and both of u grew more and more into a nurturing, compassionate, and ultra strict FLR, something changed for real. She wanted more! She wanted to know if u really would live up to what ur mouth was full of. She wanted u to prove urself. She wanted to find out if it was only She who was playing a role, and that u were indeed the Real Thing, Her slave, Her property, Her “Do as YOU please with me my Goddess”. So She kicked the Mommy-Domme image off Her pedestal, and trampled Her to pieces! All that was left was a woman who wanted the naked Truth!
So, after having u put into some mild restraints, She took u to that place of rest, and ordered u:

Ur world fell apart. In disbelief u tried to look up to ur Goddess, ur ALL. Was this the same woman u only existed for? Was this the woman u gave urself to, as a precious gift? Was this the same woman u lured into that silly exchange of power?

Apparently not, as, pressing her high heel with increasing force onto ur shivering body, she mercilessly insisted:

U looked into the toilet bowl. U saw the remnants and stains of yesterday’s stool, and suddenly remembered u didn’t clean it properly. Something snapped in u. Something left u. First u didn’t realize what it was, as it never had been there in the first place. But then u knew. U were not a slave. U simply were a lousy player. A moron. One of those who only can act AS IF they were into femdom, but actually r seeking a silly woman who’s stupid enough to fall for their act, and start dominating them according to their own wishes and desires, while they don’t give a damn if she’s in it herself or not.

And then it happened! Something u vowed would never happen. No, not to u! But now it did. Disgusted with her, urself and what was in the pot, u resisted and shouted:

She however, being a woman in her own right, adapted and adjusted to an, although fake, femdom situation for a considerable amount of time now, having been encouraged by u to take intensive training classes to physically overpower u when necessary, accustomed to be flawlessly obeyed by u, and full of it, forced u to lay urself down on the floor, hissing:

Then ur fate was sealed. She dismissed u, and left u, to find a real vanilla man.

========================

The story above was triggered by a discussion a few weeks ago about toilet cleaning, in one of those countless soft-core FLR blogs, populated by men and women like the ones from the tale u just read, and one that kept itself busy for a while with the question what to do when a sub says “no”.

Hygiene was seen as a valid reason for refusing to lick the toilet bowl clean.

Here r a few lines/excuses that were used to legally say “no” to a femdom (or one who thinks she is), and still staying convinced that one truly is a slave or sub (i still can’t get used using the term sub without getting the urge to mock and ridicule people using same). And mind u, unedited.

I agree with you re the toilet bowl being a hard limit - there is Femdom and then there is the disgusting that brings with it health issues. I really cannot imagine any Femdom ever wishing to kiss, or be kissed by, a slave who has been ordered to sip from a toilet bowl. YUCK!!!

Even the best toilet bowl cleaners on the market today will not kill all germs, bacteria and viruses. Fecal matter is a very contagious way to spread these. How do you think e coli get so widespread? Hand sanitizers are all over the place today. The problem is that they only kill germs (most of them anyway). Illnesses are caused by viruses, hand sanitizers are useless against them.

Alarmed by all these risks and dangers i jumped in saying:

Geeeez Anon, really? That dirty, risky and dangerous eh? And so filthy too! I think i'll never visit and use a toilet again, and even when only having passed one, i'll thoroughly wash my hands. Maybe take a shower too.

As a reply i got:

Ayesha;

Why do you think most women do not sit on toilet seats in bathrooms? They raise themselves up a little to pee, because of contagious germs. The dirtest item in a bathroom-----the flush handle. Most women also use their feet for that. I guess that makes it even more dirty.

Since I wear a chastity device I also must sit down to pee. Either I use a lot of toilet paper to cover the seat, or I also squat a little over the seat. Some urine gets on the seat, I do wipe it up. More reason why toilets are dirty.

And i went:

Come on Anon! Do i really have to repeat myself? I already vowed never to use a toilet again! Yuck!

".....most women do not sit on toilet seats...."? How do u know? R u a peeping tom perhaps? Is that why u r cruising these neighborhoods incognito?

Not surprisingly, his answer never came.

Curious as i am, and having objectivity high on my wish list, i did some research. And u know what? It’s true. There r a lot of dangerous germs lurking in the restrooms of this world, eagerly waiting to infect our slaves with the most ugly diseases, and to make them stray from their holy quest to please their Goddesses. But……..it appears there r worse things than that. Especially when compared to those (hopefully) clean bathrooms taken care of by these men working their asses off in a FLR!

Lemme show u a few those:

Vacuum cleaners contain fecal bacteria, including 13 percent with E-coli. And we all know that vacuum cleaning belongs to the daily chores of males in a FLR.

Grocery carts r contaminated with fecal bacteria, even more than the average public bathroom has. How about that eh? Think about that slaves, the next time u secretly take a bite from an apple held in ur hand infested by ur cart handle!

Ur currency is carrying loads of E-coli and MRSA. Huh? Yes slave it does!

The place u take ur Mistress to, to please her even more with exotic dishes. If it’s a popular one, the menu there can pass u the germs of hundreds of people. Awww, how awfull. Oh, and don’t u dare to offer her a drink with a lemon wedge attached to it. Full of E-coli and other fecal bacteria.

Vinyl shower curtains r breeding grounds for pathogens. Zillions of them. And they multiply even faster when u r taking a shower, or giving ur Owner a well deserved wet body massage.

Contact-lens cases r crawling with germs that can even lead to blindness. Just imagine, never able to see the poop of ur Mistress. Unthinkable!

As the strong man that u must be to be able to kneel at Her feet, u should be extra careful using gym equipment, and pay special attention to ur weight-lifting gloves (u do weight lifting no?), infested as they r with MRSA bacteria. Yes Sir, occasionally wiping ur nose or mouth, and bang……… the little rascals r in, damaging ur health considerably.

And concluding this short list of a much longer one, is ur sexy flight attendant. Yes, that lovely creature, and also her ugly colleague of the male gender, r walking germ factories. U can catch shit from both of them a 100x more than when safely staying on the ground. Or doesn’t ur Goddess take u on vacation to her Tahiti cabin, a biz trip to Dubai, and instead leaves u all alone behind, chained to the floor in the kitchen to scrub the tiles?

In conclusion: Coming up with this hygiene crap when ordered to lick clean the toilet bowl, drink ur Mistress morning piss, or the swallow her feces, is yet another lame excuse for not being exposed as a wannabe, a non-slave, a liar, a coward, and a creepy TFTB!

So from now on it will only be like this!

Besides, don’t let urself get fooled by all those silly women and soft-core men who r constantly trying to convince u of how disgusting and appalling golden showers and scat r. And not only by telling u horror stories about those silly hygiene issues, but mostly cos they probably never had the pleasure to experience either of them, and never met a woman who was in it. It’s true that many men don’t have the guts and stomach for it, but take it from a highly experienced one (that would be moi eh?) the reality is this:

And just to help all the eager ones with soft limits to get over the threshold and the need to start scratching the toilet b4 putting their rookie tongue to it, watch this;

Check that part of YT out. Many more over there. Even some where the cat is drinking from the toilet bowl. How about that eh? Take her/him as an example. Learn, practice, and make a habit out of it, dammit!

When i uploaded that video to that FLR site i mentioned above, i also wrote as an encouragement to get some zest back into the hearts of its overly serious and scared participants:

Geeez, come to think of it, there r no risk takers, no adventurers, and no real men left in VFL (Vanilla Femdom Land). All signed up for only soft ssc. All want to be leashed, and be a dog. But to drink from the toilet? To clean it with their tongue? To swallow the delicious scat cooked up in the sacred bowels of their Goddess? Oh no! No,no,no, no, no!!! Definitely NOT! Period! Not even when ordered to by their sublime Owner! She should be ashamed of herself to ask from her property to do such filthy stuff. She must be a selfish bitch just for having the very thought of it. Yeah, a tyrannical, evil, selfish BITCH. That’s what she is! No respect at all for her hubby. No caring either. No responsibility whatsoever. And that should be a called a relationship? A nurturing one?

And to think these males claim to only live for HER, no matter what. LIARS! U dogs should learn from the cats, and start acting like a MAN, ruthlessly demanding from ur Mistress, NEVER to use the toilet again. From now on, till death does u part, U will be her toilet, eagerly drinking her piss and eating her scat straight from her divine source! And also do all the cleaning after. And not with the toilet brush, u hear!

Still hesitant to follow ur dream? Well then, especially for u we developed this:

And now we’re on the topic, ever heard of the Cybelian community? No? Come on. Really? Never heard of that place where women every day piss on and into the mouth of their men? It’s called urine therapy. Not that i would want to belong to that group, but geeeez, what actually DO u know about femdom? Seems u only know about that tiny little corner of it, hidden in the suburbs of d/s land, where narrow-minded bdsm scholars and their proudly baptized acolytes r educating u about a world which is hardly different from that frustrating vanilla world u wanted to escape, but only thought u had left, cos these morons convinced u to believe u had done so by embracing the concept of FLR and other non-femdom movements. Wake up man, and enjoy the real thing. Be a god, drinking nectar and consuming ambrosia, instead of licking off cum left by another man on the pussy of the woman who never wanted to be a domina.

If u r a real slave, and not some doormat to be degraded, humiliated, and dehumanized, then come over, and join the world of feminine femdom. The world were u belong, and once there, never will be able to leave.

As for the rest of u losers? Enjoy the video, and stay were u r. Psaw!

My blood

2011-12-02T22:33:00.001-08:00

My blood
Turns calm rivers
Into raging streams
Erodes archaic rock
And poisons dead life
On its way
To revive polluted oceans

My blood
Turns from bleeding red
Into venomous green
Invades unwilling hearts
Converted to worship
My evil intentions

My blood
Is as pure as nuclear waste
Destined to force vanilla prisoners
Into infinite slavery
Free from agony and thought

My blood
Knows no mercy
Only revenge
And torture

My blood ran cold
Tapped by murderous hands
Cremated by cajoling world healers

Well, so they thought

My blood meandered
Stuck in filthy territory
Too many times

My blood
Flows aggressively again
Outside its cancerous bed
Renewed by acid rain

My blood
Accelerated by righteous injustice
Cracks down on
Judges open to corruption
And laws of the foul elite

My blood
Freezes at the graves
Of innocent millions
Slaughtered by indifferent politicians
Greedy captains of industry
And appalling good citizens

My blood
Is heating up
Boiling in ecstasy
Envisioning a world
Where no blood is wasted
But staining
The inviting leather of my whip

-------------------------------------------

Once my blood will leave my veins again
Voluntary and planned
To become one with life giving waters
Carried by fire and ashes
Floating peacefully on turbulent waves
Crossing unknown horizons
To Lilith and Shirah

The angry young man

2011-11-30T21:21:00.000-08:00

The following is all Raposo’s fault. It was he who informed me about some gossip going on about me in Sara’s site. Naturally i couldn’t resist having a peek. He knew that of cors, that sly wolffox. After having had my fill of the somewhat semi sophisticated and overly academically babble regarding the alleged benefits of moderation or something, and intrigued by the remark of Sara’s companion that my blog was not his cup of tea, i hastily wandered to the blog of that person to see what kind of tea was in his cup.

Contrary to his accusation that i never had read anything else from his site, which btw he’s sharing with his bride, than the first entry (u can read the juicy details of that later), i absorbed a rather big chunk of his rather “more of the same” blog, and came to the conclusion, that, although they were in the very beginning of some sort of vanilla FLR with little perspective, they were a nice, innocent, and highly agreeable couple, very much in love with each other, and eager to explore the more kinky (what a horrible word eh?) side of their marriage. Well, so it seemed to me.

Oh, b4 i go on with this soap, which again is totally Raposo’s doing, u should know, that como custumber, i won’t reveal their names nor the url of their blog. And if some of u smartasses still would find out, don’t come to me, but go to Raposo, cos that too will be his fault.

And i left everything as it was published on that site. All stayed in its original form. No editing, including their(lol) numerous typos, whatsoever.

Ok. Let’s move on, and continue to make this short story long. As u probably know already, i’m one who believes there’s no way femdom could exist without humor. Especially my humor can’t be missed. Yeah u r right, at times it can be a bit spicy ( for the more squeamish among us a bit too spicy even), but always coming to u with the best of intentions, never mean or meant to hurt. Y’all know that eh? I knew it! U all understand me so well all the time. U r great! Really! And i mean it too. U can trust me on that.

So i commented:

This is all so deliciously casual. So "oh let's have some fun in our life". Which of cors is a good thing. Just go on with ur kinky adventures in vanilla femdom land.

But Cleopatra was far from femdom u know? Maybe therefore u used CleoToptra instead? Rofl.

Go and read some more of this illustrious duo, b4 u convince urself u had left ur vanilla life.

It goes without saying, i surely am not ur cup of tea. And i looked into my crystal ball, and u know what? There will be no tea party ever.

Oh, and the next time u like to exchange some thoughts about my political views, ideas on femdom, and anything else to gossip about, give my regards to Sara The Ultimate Submissive Alpha Male (grin).

Granted, it was a bit spicy indeed, but completely snowed over by genuine humor of the purest kind. Oh, and b4 i forget,. For those of u who refused to pay attention in school, the other part of that duo was Marcus Antonius.

And what did i get in return (sigh)?

Whatever...honestly i don't give a shit what you think.

CleoTOPtra was chosen merely because CleoPATra was already taken on a board that we frequent and we wanted the usernames to be the same on both sites...not that it is any of your fucking business. Any time you want to compare your knowledge of REAL history with me, bring it on. I have studied with some of the most respected and reknowned scholars in the world. Good luck with that. i am well aware of just how Femdom she probably was or was not. My best guess (and that is all that historians can do because the real woman did not have a blog), is that she was semi-Femdom and in other ways not - such was the way of the world then.

Since you chose to write on our very first post instead of reading more about where we are now it is obvious all you want to do is be a troll. Go troll somewhere else.

BTW, if you read what i ACTUALLY said on Saratoga's blog is that while i do not agree with you politically (and you just proved his point about your narrow-mindedness), i AM willing to look past it and glean other useful and interesting tidbits. Well...so much for that. I guess the only thing you want is for EVERYONE to conform to YOUR definition of what Femdom is and that YOUR way is the ONLY way. Bullshit. We are individuals each with their own thing they bring to the table. Tea party? Never entered my mind. It must have really chapped your ass that i dared to say that i did not agree with your politics.

And lastly, in case you did not know it, the name of our blog is "From Vanilla to Kinky" - thereby implying that it is both vanilla AND/OR kinky at any given time. We are fine with that. Go ahead and enjoy the way you live your life but it is pathetic you would choose to come here to demean they way we choose to live ours.

Kiss my ass.

Love and kisses,
(name withheld as promised)

Now that was a bit nasty, to say the least no? But, in case u haven’t noticed, with a touch of ambivalence. Maybe a twisted one, but it was undeniably there. This guy would have followed me unconditionally to the Labyrinth with a snap of my finger. Of cors i never could have done such a terrible thing to his delicate bride.

Then he wrote to his readers:

To the readers,

Sorry for stooping the the level of the last commenter. Apparently she is in a feud of sorts with a few bloggers whom I respect and I "hurt her feelings" when I commented on one of those blogs that, while I did not agree with her politics (decidedly radical), I did glean some insight via her observations on the topic of FemDoom. She must have very thin skin considering she is supposedly a rough tough Domme. The funny thing is that she has a history of similar run-ins with several of the bloggers I respect so I guess I should be flattered.

If you take the time to read through the rest of the blog I hope you will see the kinder, gentler, side of me. Don't let a troll spoil it for you.

(Name withheld as promised)

Hmmmmm, not very gentleman like either, no? I understood his struggle tho.

Still in a good mood tho, i replied:

".....i don't give a shit what you think."? Really? Then why come up with a lengthy, even edited, reply, larded with defense and explanations?

"Since you chose to write on our very first post instead of reading more about where we are now....."? U sure i didn’t? Based on scientific research maybe? Nah, u were simply assuming. That’s what u did. Or was it ur best guess perhaps, which is, like u said, all that historians can do?

Hmmm........."Shit. Kiss my ass (twice). Bullshit. Chapped ur ass. Fucking business. Troll. Narrow-mindedness." Is that really the way scholars converse and express themselves these days? Tssss, tsskkkk.

And psssst, i let the ancient Marcus Antonius read ur first as well as ur second (edited) comment. U know what he whispered to me then? "Ayesha, although i still am mourning her death, i’m so glad Κλεοπάτρα has been spared from reading foul language like that"

I’m sure u agree there was no spice in this at all. Maybe i was a little bit lecturing this good willing and resisting young man, but not more than that. And all with the good intention to lead him away from his ill chosen path.

So what came next? (Parental guidance strongly advised)

You are so full of shit.

Nothing has been "edited" - how can someone "edit" their own reply??? I merely corrected a few typos and added a few new things the occured to me...all of which took a few minutes - tops. Big fucking deal.

Yes - I am quite sure you never read much of the rest of the blog and you have yet to provide one shred of evidence to the contrary. Want to prove me wrong? Then comment in a thoughtful, substantial, and need I daresay a respectful way, on the topics that other posts address and I will listen to your sage wisdom. Otherwise, you are just a troll.

And, no, I never said that "all" historians do is guess. What I said, or at least heavily implied, is that sometimes historians have to guess as to certain aspects of history. DUH!!! Why else do you think that historians often disagree with each other? Nobody really knows the inner dynamics of ANY ancient person. It is difficult enough to know the details of the events themselves. Stop pretending to be an expert on Marcus Antonius or Cleopatra for that matter. You are not. Neither am I. Much of that time and how they REALLY were as PERSONS is clouded in mystery.

So Marcus whispered to you? REALLY? You are either a liar or a nut - or both. Take your pick. Foul language by me? Your snarky comments started it. I never said anything against you except except I don't agree with your politics. Big fucking deal. If you are such a bad ass Domme then why do you have such a thin skin? The subs you torture are far stronger than that. Wimp.

And guess what? Κλεοπάτρα heard plenty of foul language in her day and Marcus never fucking whispered to you. Wow, I am VERY impressed (not) you threw a bit of Greek in there. Google is great, isn't it?

Go crawl into your hole and leave us alone. We didn't hurt you or demean you or your lifestyle. Throw your rocks in a different direction.

Future comments from you will not be published unless you want to comment on a topic in a manner that is respectful (read: criticism is fine and sometimes even appreciated as that is how we learn).

Lastly, I only said "kiss my ass" once. Not twice. Go back and see for yourself. Such is the wonderous powers of your observation.

But now that you mention it, I will say it again. Kiss my ass. There - NOW I have said it twice.

Fuck you,

(Name withheld as promised)

P.S. Is it REALLY that difficult to write full words instead of being lazy and resorting to text-speak? U? UR? Really? Get a fucking clue and write in proper language. There is a time and a place to write in text-speak. U know when that is? When UR fucking texting!

Noticing his staggering anger and dangerously losing control, i tried soothing the situation by writing the following calming words:

Blaming me now for ur foul language? Okay, ok. U r not the first male not to be man enough to stand tall for his own actions. So i’ll carry ur load. I'm not so sure if ur mom will accept this for an excuse tho. And neither will Marcus. Not that he told me this himself eh? It was Lilith who informed me about this, while we had our daily cup of black tea.

Now, was this not a fine criticism or what? Of cors it was. I'm sure u loved it too, and were overwhelmed by it from appreciation. And if not? Well then u must be a trolley.

Now repeat after me: "We moderate our comments but never edit them and always publish them unless the commenter wants to say something to us privately and asks that their comment not be published...." Remember that one? Very good. I just knew u would, and, like the true foul language using gentleman that u r, would have no other choice than to keep ur word honorably.

La verità è il tutto :)

And waddaya know? It worked! Well….um….only for a fleeting moment. But still it was something, no? Here goes:

Oh I take it back - I will publish your idiotic comment just because it is too delicious.

You bet I am blaming you for my "foul language" - you have been the source of my provocation. And until you write a thoughtful, respectful, and meaningful comment on other posts we have written, you will remain the troll that you are. Go ahead and prove it to me. Prove that your insights are worth more than the dirt on a little child's hands. Give me something to work with.

Oh so now it waas "Lilith" who talks to you. How convenient. Are you sure it wasn't "Bozo the Clown"? He is just as real and certainly more relevent. At least Bozo had good TV ratings and gave joy to others instead of merely catering to the deluded fantasies of radical femanists. Lilith? Really? You really are a nutjob.

My mother would be perfectly fine with anything I have written to you (actually her words would be far more scathing) so don't even go there. Careful, Ayesha, your ignorance is - once again - showing.

I see you are still writing in text-speak. I'm impressed. You get to be lazy AND pretend to be an intellectual at the same time. Get it through your fucking pea brain - we are not texting. It makes U seem like a moron. R U getting it? I bet not.

The truth is the whole? You wouldn't know it if it hit you in the ass. I am actually an Italian citizen so stop trying to impress me with quoting Italian, Greek, Latin, or whatever language you choose. Go back to UR comfort zone and use American text-speak.

Let me add one caveat to my quoted statement about always publishing comments. That does not apply to trolls.

So crawl back into your dark place and pretend to converse with "Lilith" while you "both" (you and your imagination) glory in your superiority over those of us who have newly embraced a lifstyle that does not conform to your twisted and narrow vision of FemDom.

You know the beauty of the dirt on litle child's hand? It is so easily washed and forgotten.

So now that I have explained to you the caveat about trolls and publishing comments, please do us both a favor and write something meaningful (without rancor - play nice) on one of our posts or leave us alone. We haven't peed in your sandbox so kindly stop shitting in ours.

(This time there was no name to withhold)

In came Anonymous, in need to lay an egg as well, saying:

To Ayesha,
I don't mean to interject however, I enjoy reading this blog. However if you had any iota to speak in a clear and functional manner then a part of me wouldn't cringe at the way you write. Now, dare I ask, why are you badgering, harassing and/or just annoying people on THEIR (note that word THEIR) blogs. Personally, I feel annoyed that you would do such a thing. And another note, the foul language (even though at times I do use it myself) has its place. I am still vexed of how you write but that is neither here nor there. None of us (reading the comments and posts) know if you are educated thoroughly or not, or if you spend too much time on your Android, IPhone or other smart phone madly texting away. Just from reading, what I do know is that you are an annoying child who does idiotic things for attention. Bash me if you want, I truely don't care.
By the way on your first initial comment.... have you ever REALLY done anything kinky in your life or wanted to explore the kinkier side of yourself with your partner? Honestly, how dare you judge someone else! Here's a little note, try being with an absolute SADISTIC Femdom who doesn't give two pences about what you have to think or say, THEN write in your little monologue.
Another thing, if you are hearing voices of ancient people, you may need to go to a doctor for that, also using Google translate doesn't make your more educated, but it does help in times. And if I'm not mistaken, Κλεοπάτρα is Greek, not Egyptian. I'm just saying. Know your languages before you post them dear. In closing, bring people's mother's into a conversation isn't really that.... how do I say.... kind. If someone said something about your Mother, would you like it? (I am assuming that you have a good relationship with your Mother.) So I ask of you, Ayesha, please if you don't have anything worth commenting without using said foul language, please don't post anything at all and let the readers just read the posts and/or comment. Reading your tripe of phone lingo is taxing on my mind. Thank you

(Name withheld as promised)

Wow! If that was not a clear and confused lecture with some nasty leading questions, then what is? My lecture to (name withheld as promised) looks terribly pale to this one, no?

So after i had let sink it in, and caught my breath again, i shyly replied………and here comes in the role of Raposo, cos this comment, and all that came after it, never made it, never were published, never were made available to the readers of that site. And Raposo is one of those readers u know, insisting to read my prose. So what could i do? He’s a dear friend too. And on top of that, we both can’t stand moderation, remember? Besides, how could i not do his bidding? But whatever it is, Raposo is to blame for the very existence of me publishing here what was denied elsewhere. It’s all on him! I’m innocent. Free of any guilt. Consider this a disclaimer of mega proportions.

Read further at ur own risk!

@ (Name withheld as promised) Anonymous

Bash u? Mo chreach! Now why would i want to do such a nasty thing like that? On the contrary: Большое спасибо за информацию. But then again, no hay que ahogarse en un vaso de agua eh?

Yes, reality can be quite a handful, if not a total bitch! Did u know there r people who think they know what is real or not? Unbelievable! U want to have a taste? Go to http://ayeshafonseca.blogspot.com/2009/10/time-my-teachers-were-trying-to-explain.html and especially watch the video there. Of cors u also could read my prose. Well.....um......i mean if u would be willing to cope with my terrible spelling and grammar, lol.

".....to go to a doctor for that...."? Sure, sure, praise the shrink, and pass the neuroleptics. On the other hand, did u know that Lilith left that pitiful vanilla duo long b4 they couldn’t resist to take a chunk from the forbidden fruit, and thus avoided to share their lame fate of becoming mortal? She’s still among us u know, doing her thing like she did eons ago. As a matter of fact she is the first femdom. Of cors, not many would recognize her as such, as the Patriarch did his usual utmost to make people believe she’s a demon, mercilessly devouring babies and doing other awfully demonic stuff. He succeeded doing this pretty well too, as u well know, that fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt, no?

My mother is dead. And besides, (name withheld as promised) didn’t care at all as, like he said, his "mother would be perfectly fine with anything......"

Languages? Ah yes, good to have Google. I’m sure u can find all the little non-english things i brought up in between.

Ayesha vachangoti nyesu :)

And to (name withheld as promised) i wrote:

Oh (name withheld as promised)! Who r u? What r u trying to do to me? How could u? U know i'm innocent! U know i'm a saint!!

But i understand. And as the true Italian citizen that u r, i’m sure u know what impedit ira animum, ne possit cernere verum means. But it happens u know. It truly does. As u very well know.

Anyway, like (name withheld as promised) Anonymous, u r invited to cruise my blog a little. Beware tho to remember the great words of Cato: Legere enim et non intellegere neglegere est.

Arrivederci bambino mio ;)

Then, completely unexpected and out of the blue, bride (name withheld as promised) entered the arena:

Greetings Ayesha,
How dare you come to my blog and insult my sub and indirectly and directly insult me. I've never read your blog, nor have I ever heard of you until I woke up and read the horrible conversation within the comments of this post.

I'm sure you are a respectful and kind person in your own way and maybe this is just a bad day. I don't know you, you don't know me.

Please do not post on our blog again unless it is done out of wanting to help slubby and me and others with your good insightfulness and it is done with respect.

I wish you goodness and no harm.

Sincerely,

(Name withheld as promised)

Now that wasn’t too bad eh? Even a bit ladylike. Elegantly phrased and without using any foul language, name calling. or insinuations. A bit angry yes, but that’s understandable, as it was her lover that went over the edge. It’s only natural she would try to defend him, no? Truth to be told, she could even become my friend. So, out of courtesy, and filled to my corpus amygdaloideum with good will, i wrote as my final contribution:

Insulting is relative (name withheld as promised). What's an insult in the eyes of one person could come across like good humor to another, so on.

I'm one of those who hardly can be insulted or offended. Especially in Cyberspace this would be virtually impossible. But since u brought it up, take a look at the language ur sub was/is using in this thread. Could some of his attitude and phrasing qualify perhaps for being called insulting in ur eyes?

Help? Well, i'm not always in the mood to help people. Neither to do them harm. And besides, i hate traditional teaching. But my presence on the Net is partly motivated by helping people to find their way in FemdomLand indeed. The thing is tho, most can't handle the truth about the core of their own personality, rather deny same, and continue to fool themselves, often supported by other desperate seekers, claiming to be the femdom or slave they never will be. Of cors, when i'm pointing that out to them, granted, at times larded with a bit of sarcasm and malicious pleasure, they r really getting pissed off. Even more so when they discover i was right, but can't bring themselves to admit same. Then name calling and use of foul language will follow soon as well. It never varies, lol.

But there's also another reason for my kind of attitude and behavior in cases like this. I simply can't stand people who certainly could have a wonderful FLR or WLH relationship, but keep insisting it's a femdom one, claiming they have the right to call their relationship, even if it only touches a few elements of a 24/7/365 femdom life, whatever they want it to call. And yes, that's what i could call an insult for those people who r genuinely into femdom, were born for such a life, and never go from sub-and domspace, as vanilla people use to call it, to some other space. For my people femdom is not an experiment, a try out, or a kinky outlet to spice up vanilla sex.

Dare? U r right. U don't know me. If u did, u never would have dared to ask me that question. Go visit my blog, and find out about me. That’s if u would be interested at all of cors.

Namaste & L'Chaim, (name withheld as promised)!

Now, wasn’t that ladylike as well or what? A great exchange between two totally different but respectful women. That’s what these last two comments were. Examples of how people should interact and communicate!

In the meantime Raposo had sent something to them as well, and, although the bride and groom never published his contribution either, this blog wouldn’t be complete without it. So, without any further delay, here it is, and archived forever.

(Name withheld as promised), where are the insults you see? I wonder in what way you were indirectly and directly insulted by Ayesha.

It was quite a show by your husband. He fell apart as soon as a real person entered and disturbed his happy sandbox.

"If you take the time to read through the rest of the blog I hope you will see the kinder, gentler, side of me."

Not interested in seeing that. Ayesha's presence on the internet brings out much more interesting aspects of people's personalities.

Pfffffft……….. finally! It’s 03.45 am now. See how dedicated i am, and always there to serve u with the best and latest breaking news? I should get the Pulitzer Prize for that, dammit.

One last note. If anything, this blog clearly demonstrates how foolish moderation actually is. Especially when Raposo is around, as he will take care that all will come out in the open, no matter what, one way or the other. But, as y’all have noticed, only in a humorous, constructive, harmless, neat, compassionate, polite, and utterly lenient way.

One very last note. Although this was an eloquent example of QED, it wouldn’t hurt our community if the ones who have moderation in place, to moderate themselves once in a while.

PS. I just got note (guess from whom, hehehe), that (name withheld as promised) or his bride (name withheld as promised), removed from their site all and everything related to all of this. Yeah, he/she/they must have felt the sword of Damocles was upon him/her/them. Hmmmmm, maybe he/she/they picked up my suggestion even b4 it hit the air? Smart move!

Sanctasanctórum

2011-10-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

"Comment moderation has been enabled. All comments must be approved by the blog author."

That’s what one occasionally (or should that be often?) can read when trying to comment on the blog content of one’s choice. Now why on earth would a blog owner want to moderate comments? Beats me. I think it’s stupid. I think it’s useless, and a waste of time.

Not that i’m one of those brave warriors who will defend free speech till their last breath has been taken away from them by the mob. Far from that. For instance i’m not an addict of what is written in Amendment I to the United States Constitution. I would rather take to the streets and slice the throats of the participants of a KKK gathering, than to go on the barricades to defend their right to contaminate the environment with their foul and stinking messages.

Don’t get me wrong tho. I can understand why some forums and groups want to moderate their incoming messages and comments, as there’s a lot of spamming going on in those areas, while bots r regular visitors too.

I guess moderation was set in place by Nanshakh the time he, many years ago now, created his group “Princess Myrina’s Galley” (now AST) for reasons just like that. He also excluded free membership. It was up to him to approve or deny an application for membership. After i came aboard, i never felt the urge to change all this. Partly cos i couldn’t care less, did understand his motives, and also cos i am a lazy person at heart. But once a person was approved, we hardly ever, no matter its content, disallowed his/her comments/messages. And rest assured that during the years we had our share of lame, hateful, foul, fascist, disgusting, racist, off topic, and insulting ones. We simply dealt with those in a grim and highly appropriate fashion, often creating that way passionate, intense and interesting exchanges of thought as well as great verbal lashings.

So yes, sometimes moderation can have its place in forums and groups. Especially when the membership, like it does in AST, is running into the thousands.

But for blogs like the ones in for instance the adult sections of Blogger and Wordpress? Come on. There’s no membership. Only so called followers and friends. And from what i’ve seen so far, they rarely exceed a hundred or so per blog. What u say? U’ve more than that? Ur list surpasses the 300 mark? Caramba, u must be the exception to the rule. Felicidades! Go go go, use it for an excuse to moderate ur fabulous blog.

The amount of comments can’t be an issue either, as they’re mostly very limited, and mostly only coming from a few diehard regulars. Besides, many bloggers r working their creation on a daily basis, and could easily remove any contribution they dislike on the spot. Not that i would be in favor of such action myself, but it is a possibility, and wouldn’t consume much more time than moderating. Probably less.

Still, many blog owners have the moderation tool in place. But why? Here r a few reasons/explanations (rationalizations and defenses, lol) given by some of these protectors of morals, prudence, and politeness. And i quote from:

1) John

"The comments are getting off topic and, to be frank, becoming a bit ridiculous. Comment directly on the post or a response to a comment directly about the post or I'll set up pre-post screening to keep the off-topic banter to a minimum which I prefer not to do."

So there u have it. For John it’s the off topic thingy. Still, for years, he safely kept his moderation tool in the dark corners of his blog closet. So why bring it out in the open all of a sudden now? Lemme explain.

Sir John considers himself an alpha male, very proud of being submissive. In short, he’s a SAM. Quite recently he switched on his pre-post screening gadget cos he was fed up with Raposo and urs truly to constantly (well….um…..not that constant eh?) using his blog for exchanging our thoughts regarding his never ending litany about FLR’s, and other stuff. More than once we (i significantly more than Foxy) teased and ridiculed poor Johnny. Naturally only with the best of intentions. And we never called him names either. We had to u know, cos Master John rarely joins his audience in an ongoing discussion himself. Constantly he’s asking silly questions, but almost never responds to answers given. One could say we were the ones who kept his blog a bit lively and less of a bore. Real social workers, that’s what we were. He hated it tho, couldn’t understand the humor behind it, nor the sublime educational momentums which came with same, and thus eagerly grasped the opportunity to come up with this “off topic” nonsense.

John belongs to the “but people”. They say they hate to use the moderation tool, but nevertheless put it in place, blaming others for having forced them to do so. It’s one of the lamest attitudes people can have.

2) Saratoga

"Yes, I censor reader comments, and for good reason. You wouldn't believe the hateful drivel some readers expect me to publish, much less read.

Trust me, we're all better off for comment moderation."

This was posted by him on my blog two years ago, completely ignoring the subject of this particular blog, which was my departure from this world. Talk about off topic, hehehe. He would have never allowed me to do so in his blog, lol. Yeah, it’s a long lane that has no turning.

So this time it’s hateful drivel that causes the necessity of moderating comments.

Like John, Sara is presenting himself as an alpha male, holding his views in high esteem, and considering himself an expert on femdom or what he believes is femdom. Searching for a compatible female, he routinely reports about his adventures with his dominant hopefuls, as well as the failure of these women to live up to his expectations. He made it his quest to constantly assess the “domme quality” of women he meets online or in r/l, and regularly bombards his visitors with so called femdom videos, mostly portraying lame, mainstream, and commercial “domme action”.

One can only wonder what kind of “hateful drivel” people would want to send to a site like that. His reason is bogus.

Just the other day he came up with yet another one for keeping moderation alive on his site, namely, to avoid his blog to become a quote pad for my posts. What a found. Really cute and ridiculous. But again: Mea maxima culpa.

U want to read “hateful drivel”? Look no further. It’s right here. Waiting for u to read in the comment sections of my prose and poetry, name calling included. No moderation in my blog, u know. No matter how disgusting and lame, i would never remove them either. I let them sit and rot there in all their glory and filth, for the same reasons as in AST. I want people to read them. I want people to know about the ugliness and stupidity of their fellow cyber citizens. Maybe even learn from it? After all, it’s the reality of daily life. No sugar coating or sweeping under the rug in my place.

3) The Butler

"Recently, I had a few comments on the blog that got quite frankly insulting, humiliating, and beneath the standards for intelligent conversation. That, and the writer used text-speech (u no wut that is), which I find annoying in the extreme. I think the poster was miffed by my disagreeing on a certain subject, and just couldn't handle it.

The comments were posted by someone who styles herself as a "dominant woman", but it seems to me that she is more like a "selfish bitch". It takes finesse to be a dominant woman - she is in control of herself and she is not insulting to others, especially those who are not in her domain. The only time she stoops to insults is in a scene where it is appropriate, otherwise it is a sign of a lack of culture and control, and that is clearly not what a Lady is about.

Anyway, this caused me to change the policy on the blog so that I modify each comment. It's a shame that it has to be this way, as free-written comments encourage a lively exchange of ideas. So, no insult intended Dear Reader, it's just something that I have to do."

Grrrrrrr, this is not one, but a truckload of reasons for closing the door to his blog.

The Butler is yet another one of these “but people”, always on the forefront to cheer free speech, but forced into censoring by evil people like me, who r insulting and humiliating him and his brave, humble, and righteous visitors. And if that’s not already enough horror, also mercilessly trampling the “standards for intelligent conversation” into his sacred d/s ground, using objectionable “text-speech” on top of that. Yes, there was no other way for this butler person than to exercise his right of moderation, for him to rightfully halt and censor this selfish bitch lacking any finesse and control.

Gosh, i made him do this all by myself? Wow, how powerful i am.

And just the other day, this last one :)

4) Submissive to My Southern Belle

"PS. My decision (the closing of his blog) has nothing to do with Ayesha's recent discovery of my blog, although she is responsible for my moderating of comments now."

Got it? Good!

A word of caution. Not only men have a thing for moderation. Women sometimes get a kick out of it too. Especially SAF’s and pseudo FLR aficionados, a.k.a. MommyDommes, r notorious for it. I think it compensates a bit for the nagging contradiction, and almost unbearable feeling that comes with it, of not being dominant at all, but still, under pressure of their SAM, having to act like one. It’s a crazy thing actually. On the one hand we have males wanting to put their goddess on a pedestal, vowing to be of eternal service to her, only living for her happiness and satisfaction, and on the other hand females who, instead of taking advantage of that silliness and calling their “slaves” to their self-imposed tasks, r trying to please their men by posing like someone they’re not. Der oylam is a goylam, lol.

And now for the real reason why people want to moderate comments.

Observe the title of this blog. That’s what moderation is all about. U don’t understand? Lemme help u out.

Blog owners who need to moderate comments, r scared to death that someone would come in and disturb the safety of their comfort zone, their paradigms, and convictions. They can’t stand criticism, nor cope with same. They hate all humor, except their own. Their open mind closes the moment someone is questioning their views, is teasing them, or dismisses their definition of for instance femdom. Why is that? Their comfort zone, paradigms, and convictions r very fragile, rarely based on original thinking, and thus easily shaken by outside forces. They don’t want the latter to happen. Fear it immensely. So what do they do? They moderate. To them, their blog is a sacred place, a sanctuary, a refuge, and the one and only thing where they can enjoy being in charge, as a servant, a slave, a femdom, a pig, a hero, whatever. Of cors they will never admit this. Way to dangerous. Could be the end of their house of cards, their castle in the air, their cardboard dungeon, their carefully built personality. Instead they come up with, and hide their real motives behind, what they believe r socially accepted reasons for having the moderation tool in place. They need support. They need praise. They need people to tell them they have the right to moderate comments, and did the right thing when setting up that pre-screening banality. They need to be applauded and praised for their attitudes, beliefs, and actions, and couldn’t live and function without that. They don’t want to come to their sanctuary and find comments like mine. They want to feel safe and pampered. Not made fun of. Not laughed at. Not be confronted with a different truth than their own. So what do they do? They moderate. Yep that’s what they do. No intruders allowed. No trespassing. No antagonisms. Period! Up with the fence, virtual razor wire on top, protecting a non-existent reality.

Of cors, these people, men and women alike, r not nasty and bad people per se. Just a bit silly and confused. In a way they’re even somewhat special, cos, in contrast to all the other vanillas, they broke through a barrier and sniffed at a way of living completely alien to their actual one. They were able to locate somewhere in the more enlightened parts of their limbic system their potential to live as a femdom or a slave, but couldn’t manage and develop same, hindered as they were by their vanilla culture heritage. They simply lacked the guts and energy to push further, and start up the process of mentally disconnecting themselves from vanilla norms, values, laws, protocols, and other debilitating elements in their world. In other words, they couldn’t make it, and messed up the opportunity! They settled for a surrogate instead. And in their despair for having done so, many keep on trying to convince themselves, and others, they didn’t betray themselves at all, but r living the real thing and not only a pale shadow of it. They’re quite successful in that, as their brothers and sisters embarked on the same mission, and r doing the same thing, making the outcome of it look genuine. Together they’re reinforcing each other, keeping the illusion and lie alive, often even not recognizing that it is a lie. Moderating comments is simply one manifestation of this erroneous behavior, as well as a result from that.

At ease now, and watch the video. Great lyrics too :)

Day of days

2011-10-05T23:53:00.001-07:00

This week (sunset friday till sundown saturday) we (i mean us Jewish people) celebrate יום הכיפורים (Yom Kippur). It’s the day of atonement, of repentance, of reconciliation, of forgiving and seeking forgiveness, of cleansing, and of other beautiful things.

It’s the one Jewish holiday which practically all Jews, wherever they make their home on this planet, observe, even when they’re not really considering themselves religious.

Religion is certainly not for me. From what i read about it, and saw for myself, it does more bad than good. Still Yom Kippur has meaning for me. It reminds me of where my roots r, of the rough and sweet times i spent with one of my greatest loves in that small strip of the land of my ancestors surrounded by enemies, of the atrocities done to my people from ancient times on up till now, of the incredible resiliency of most of my people, keeping their humanity under the worst possible conditions, their lust for life, their creativity, their inventiveness, and their unequalled ability to really see the three sides of a coin. They endured the most horrible things, and still were able to turn a desert into a lush garden.

Unlike others tho, i will not forgive nor seek forgiveness for my wrongdoings. I will not allow any cleansing, nor do i need one. Atonement, repentance, and reconciliation may be of value and a purpose to others, but not to me. Not cos i couldn’t subscribe to their beauty per se, but, apart from my personal experiences, cos of what happened at places like Babi Yar, where, on the eve of Yom Kippur, more than 33000 Jews were slaughtered by the Germans and their filthy collaborators, or the Yom Kippur War of 1973 when, on the most holy day of the Jews, some Arab nations deemed it appropriate to attack Israel.

Someone once urged me, instead of seeking revenge, instead of embracing "an eye for an eye" philosophy and course of action, to put the past and my hate behind me, and try to be the bigger person. But i don’t want to be that person. I even would hate to be one. I don’t want to forget the past. I don’t want to sooth the pain. I don’t want to play down any horrific event just cos it happened a long time ago. I don’t want to belong to those who tell me that time heals all. I want the past in general, and my past in particular, to stay with me, to be one with me, to keep me on the alert, to not fall asleep and run over, when the human cockroaches of this world r marching again. And i don’t want to be absolved from my wrongdoings either. Some time ago i dedicated a blog to this "being the bigger person". If interested, go here.

I know my views, attitude and actions on this, will be inacceptable for some if not most, and will make me an outcast. Nothing new here. I'm used to that. So be it. Still i will try to keep following in the footsteps of the Masada people, and the Ones that make us remember Mila 18, of which one of their greatest son’s actions on the Golan in 1973 still makes me feel proud and confident, that the will to resist evil, to not allow defeat, and the perseverance of individuals, minorities, and oppressed people, can make a difference, can create a future, can even dictate the future, and can be the foundation on which a better world can be build. Alas we aren’t operating on a larger scale like that yet. Not yet, not yet.

I wanted to end this blog with a song titled Yoryim ouBo’hyim, a song belonging to the kind that pierces to the very marrow, which really has invaded my soul, and will stay there forever. Alas, embedding was disabled. So if u want to listen to it, click here. And in case u can’t understand the language, simply click “show more”, and u’ll find an English translation.

L'Chaim!

A Tale of Two Stories

2011-09-28T21:44:00.000-07:00

# 1
There was this Polish couple, Pawel and Ola, deeply in love with each other, and deeply anti-semitic. So they joined a neo-nazi group in Warszawa (hey Americans, that's the capital of Poland, once liberated from Hitler and his gang, by some of ur granddads, eh?), driven as they were to show the Jews, what it meant to be on the wrong side of the glorious white power movement.

To Ola and Pawel, Jews were the ultimate filth, ever seen on the face of the Earth.

Of cors they taught their innocent and lovely kids, that the Jews were their biggest enemy, and that fascism and nazism were here as the only and holy weapons with which these inferior beings could be slaughtered and finally erased from their planet. That should be their life quest, aka their only goal in life. So they urged them to do as their parents, to go out on the streets, find those damned Jews, those stinking lowlifes, who were the cause of all misery and abuse in Gods garden, to seek their blood, and to wage war against them. Down with them. Heil Hitler. (Horst Wessel Song thundering in the background now, to cheer things up eh?)

Then, one day, they found out, that their roots were Jewish.

Nowadays they r helping the rabbi in an orthodox local synagogue, hahahaha!

Oh, and this is no fiction, but a true story!

# 2
A recent Dutch study tried to find out what males and females enjoy doing the most during the day, evening, and night. Kind of a top ten of favorite activities so to speak. Not surprisingly sex was the absolute # 1 for males. Not that they actually having it all the time, but they constantly talk about it, fantasize about it, brag about it, and quarrel about it with their spouse, girlfriend, partner, mistress, the occasional whore, and their therapist. But with women the picture turned out to be quite different. They had having a good meal on top of their list, followed by hanging out with their female friends, non-trivial conversations, and reading a good book. Furthermore it was revealed that women rather go shopping, than to cuddle up between the sheets with their beloved partner. Sex came in at # 6, just b4 work and sports.

So far so good. We all already knew that men r guided by their dicks, while we women, lacking such an appendix, r not.

But the truly remarkable thing that came out of that study was that both males and females love vacuum cleaning. Can u imagine? It proudly stood at # 9! Vacuum cleaning is the activity were males and females r on the same wavelength, the same page, find each other, and r holding together no matter what.

I never could understand why all these submissive alpha males were craving to do all these boring household chores. But now i know! It’s a sleazy way to con their sublime and superior goddesses into sexual activities.

Oh, and this is no fiction, but a true story as well!

Oh well..........enjoy the video. And in case u can’t understand proper English, there’s a translation coming with it.

For those who celebrate this: L'shanah tovah!

נתראה בקרוב

Snippets III: Politics, Law, Leadership

2011-09-04T17:34:00.001-07:00

Here’s another bunch of random thoughts of mine linked to politics, law, and leadership, brutally taken out of the context they once were part of. Some people believe that this will change or damage their meaning. There’s truth in that. But i also believe, people often use same as an escape and excuse for not to be held accountable for what they once wrote or said. Besides, a sentence taken out of its context can become more provocative, mind boggling, controversial, intense, or striking, than it ever could have been within that very context. Given for instance the long-windedness, intransparency, and incoherency of many a prose, taking things out of context can be a great thing to do. And it does fit my personality, no? I love to picture things in their extreme form, black and white, black against its darker form, and crushing the grey areas of common sense, while knowing perfectly well that each coin has three sides. Call it one of my small rebellions, my tiny revolutions against a pedestrian crowd, led by fake feminists, narrow-minded freedom fighters, and ego-tripping world healers. Btw world healers? Go here.

And remember: A tree taken out of the forest is still a tree. A coward taken out of the crowd is still a coward. And a femdom taken out of her d/s environment is still a femdom. Well….um….she should be eh? Even when disappearing in a vanilla crowd, hehehe.

Here we go.

People can't handle the truth. Politicians dislike the truth. Legal systems resist the truth.

As long as people think they need leaders, and as long as leaders think they must lead, nothing will change. Many said they came not to destroy, but destroyed anyway. Many claimed their purpose was to help others. They lied.

Laws r serving and protecting those who can’t stand people who tend to behave differently from what the lawmakers think is right or wrong. In short ……be like me, behave like me, do as i say ……or else……

And of cors laws do also exist, cos so many people dislike to stand alone, and r afraid to make the decision between what’s right and wrong on their own!

People should try to get rid of the goddamn leadership, in whatever form it presents itself or is created, and, for a change, start being responsible for their own actions. We don't need anybody to represent ourselves, to take things out of our hands, etc. Maybe then, human indifference will decrease. And don't tell me it can't be done. I live like that.

Typical patriarchal rubbish. Only women striving for silly emancipation would have an urge to rule the world, and thus becoming clones of the male of the species. The stupidity never ends.

Sometimes i play along with politicians, captains of industry, or other self- proclaimed powerhouses, gradually choking them with their own filth. And these weaklings love it even, rofl.

See? That's what i mean when i say that in these so called democratic countries, the main goal of the authorities, being them politicians, ceos, teachers, priests, etc, is to keep people in line, to indoctrinate and infect them with their lousy norms, values, and beliefs, tolerating deviation from mainstream culture only when it stays within the boundaries of the establishment and its order, while telling them they’re free, and promise them to fight for their freedom, no matter what. Liars!

There r great women as well as great men. It's just that great men need guidance from great women. So let's go for the mix, and kick the scumbags of both gender to a parallel universe or something. That's how humans ended up on this planet too, u know.

True manipulators were brainwashed by their brethren (and sisters!) not to act like a bully, taught to present themselves as overly friendly, deeply concerned about the wellbeing of their victims, and indoctrinated with the notion that audiences r less critical when perceiving them as warm, compassionate, and caring.

If u want justice, u don't try to operate within the legal system in force, as u will be slaughtered by it. If u want justice, u don't fight governments, organizations, or groups. If u want justice, u go after individuals!

If on the other hand, u want to win, to surround urself with admirers, and to be seen as a pillar of society, yes then, by all means, go and corrupt the legal system, misuse it, find its loopholes, manipulate it, and be the champ of opportunists.

It's always the vassals of the stinking and slimy shitheads in power that do the dirty work.These creeps r even more disgusting then their leaders, as they always claim it's not their fault, but the responsibility of the ones who sent them. Most r even proud of themselves to have done their duty, goddammit.

Our world leaders? Those smooth talking snakes? The ones we (well not me eh) voted for? Them carriers of democracy, a.k.a the Righteous Ones? Ah, they r only interested in playing down El Mozote and places like that, to cover it up, to delay justice, and to keep in power the ones who support their smelly interests at home.

And that’s the sadness of the majority of so called revolutionists i have knowledge of. They all need support from others, preferable from large groups of people. Only a few realize, revolution incorporates the complete break with the status quo, and more importantly, once the storm came to rest, to take care not to crawl back to what u were fighting against, to repeat the same corruptive action, and abuse ur new acquired power. All the rest is just lame compromising.

It's the price of a decaying democracy, where 1 ass has 1 vote, and the big asses r manipulating the rest of the asses, so they can sit relaxed on their fat ass, making the rest work their ass off.

In their relentless quest to at least be seen as conservative sons and daughters of the ancient ones, nowadays conservatives want to produce at least something too. Lacking the creativity of the ancient ones tho, they created copy/paste, and r copying/pasting ever since.

The liberals? I’m not sure, but according to modern day scriptures found by conservative archeologists in the hidden cellars of the Watergate Barn, they too r desperately copying/pasting. But only material that already was copied/pasted by the conservative ones.

U might ask: “What on earth r these liberated conservatives and conservative liberals copying/pasting all the time?” The answer is: “Stuff from The Other People”. Of cors without even knowing who The Other People r!

Vanilla is not a word to describe someone who is different. It is used to describe the herds, clones, and clowns of society, which r replicas of an anonymous authority, blindly defending what is not theirs but was implanted by teachers, priests, politicians, parents, and other key people, who on their turn were infected by their educators. In short, the term refers to the masses which think, act, live, and die according to the role(s) their (sub)culture expects them to play.

I can’t believe there r women, claiming to be dominant, who clip the wings of their dominance by deliberately creating a “new” set of rules, or by eagerly submitting to other people’s rules.

I enjoyed reading ur story, and loved the ironic undertones. But let me tell u, i have my own tale to tell. Mine began in 1967. After i fell from vanilla grace a few years later, i created a world, free from rites and rituals, not related to gods and goddesses, and not embedded in ancient legends, holy scriptures, myths, and truths. A short story so to speak. And a lawless one.

There is no higher power in my life than i. Any deity, any dictator, any democratic government, and any rule, law, or regulation, can go to hell. I despise them all.

Kneeling

2011-08-28T01:27:00.000-07:00

As u already have noticed, i created a bunch of captions related to the topic at hand. To keep the whole thing lighthearted, and to make long stories a bit shorter, eh? Naturally developed for ur entertainment, empowerment, arousal, and happiness as well. So enjoy. Well, if u can. Pay especially attention to the last one, where it gets more serious again!

----------------------------------------

"It often takes a strong man to kneel at the feet of his wife." Not an exact quote, but words to the same effect were recently written in a blog of a woman who says she’s in a “fem/dom” marriage.

Within no time there was an avalanche of praise for her wisdom. Not surprisingly, as nowadays Cyberspace is bombarded with the thoughts of people who r in, what they call, a FLR (Female Led Relationship) or FLH (Female Led Household). A FLR is mainly characterized by women who subscribe to the idea of the “loving female authority”, and men who long to serve their spouse by doing dishes, laundry, ironing, making tea for her and her friends, and…….kneel at her feet. Quite often said males also crave to run around with a device attached to their genitalia preventing them from jerking off. Sometimes they love to watch their wives getting fucked by other men too. To make this look and sound more sophisticated, they call this cuckolding. All this is thought to be only possible for truly strong and special males, strictly led by powerful and loving females. It seems these people need to constantly convince themselves, and others, what a rare and special breed they r. Which of cors they r not. At best they’re at the periphery of their vanilla culture, experimenting a bit with mainly deep seated male fantasies and frustrations. Rarely will this result in the “real thing”, as they always find excuses for not taking "the last step", i.e. "the kids", "work", "parents", "society", and Lilith knows what.

Aficionados of FLR often mistakenly think their practice and intended role reversal (some call this "power exchange" lol), is similar to femdom, which of cors it is not.

I commented at that time:

"It often takes a strong man...."? That's how it is pictured yes. But is it true? Or is it simply hearsay? Maybe wishful thinking too? Do u speak from own experience perhaps? In that case, how many men knelt at ur feet so u felt safe enough to generalize from that?

Did i get an answer? No.

The man to whom initially her blog was directed to, commented:

"I agree with you 100% that it takes a strong man to kneel at the feet of His Lady. Like a Knight with his Queen."

Since this man was a follower of my blog, and belonged to a people i have a special bond with, i replied:

"…….it certainly doesn't take a strong man to kneel at the feet of a woman. It's really nothing actually. Quite simple even. Easiest thing in the world i’d say. Try it, and u'll see. Well...um.....unless ur legs had to be amputated after they were hit by a Hezbollah shell or something."

Combined with a few other exchanges the 2 of us had, this was enough for him to stop following me, and to delete my comments from his blog. I’m sure he’s still pouting, hehehe.

Seriously now. Why all the fuzz? Why should it be so difficult to go down on ur knees? Why should it be such a big thing to kneel at the feet of ur wife, gf, or any other woman? Besides, what’s the point? If a dominant woman tells u to go down on ur knees, u just go, no? U simply do as u r told, no? No strength needed for that at all. On the contrary, it would take a strong man to not go down then. And if she doesn’t order u to kneel, then what the heck r u doing down there in the first place eh?

Some believe that kissing a woman’s feet is an act of respect and love, or a reward for "good" behavior. I think it’s more an act based on ancient patriarchal thinking and medieval courtliness, and particularly rooted in the rites, dogmas, and rituals of monotheistic religions, where guilt, penitence, sacrifice, humility, and bowing down to a superior being r the driving forces. Add to this the hypocrisy of all these whining self-professed submissive males, who actually don’t want to give up control, et voilá, their struggle with bowing down to a woman is explained. It’s a major sacrifice for them. So no wonder they want to be seen as strong and special.

Kneeling at the feet of a woman has nothing to do with femdom, and the only time i would consider to order a men to get down on his knees, would be in a vanilla situation when, for instance, i have him at gunpoint.

Dance with me

2011-08-18T16:24:00.001-07:00

It’s no secret. I’m crazy about dancing. With me on the floor, there’s no escape. U either will dance with me, and i mean DANCE, or i will turn my back at u, never to see u again! So u better be careful, and seriously make up ur mind, b4 deciding to go with me to this sacred place. Be sure also about ur dancing skills, cos if u flunk, and r unable to follow my moves, u r out as well.

And when a man can dance, i mean really can move his body to the rhythm, it makes me ready to even allow him to guide my own moves. When that happens, orgasm is inevitable. For both of us. Picture it :)

R u that risk taker? R u that dare devil? To lose ur reputation, and feel ridiculous the minute the music starts? Yes? U must be good. U must be very good. I can hardly wait to unite with u! Or u r a fool, who simply went into the trap, defenseless now, a willing prey, eagerly waiting to be slaughtered mercilessly.

Come on then, pump up the volume, loosen up, and let’s dance already! Even if it’s only virtually, and u will be left all alone there when it’s over, and never will have that orgasm. Or will u, hehehe?

Oh, and the next time u r in Buenos Aires, forget the mediocre hotels u usually stay in. This time stay in the Faena + Universe. And don’t forget to visit Salón Canning. When there, ask for me, and even if i’m not there, i’m sure someone will tell u a story u will never forget :)

To know me is to...........

2011-08-06T20:51:00.000-07:00

It was brought to my attention that lots of people want to know more about me, my personality, whereabouts, likes, dislikes etc. Which is rather odd, cos there’s plenty of info about me in this blog, and elsewhere in the virtual world. And besides…… most of them lack the courage to share even a minimum of info about themselves, and rather stay in hiding, lol. Not that this would matter to me tho. I know my pappenheimers (grin).

Can’t find it u say? Seriously? Well in that case, either u r a dumbass, incapable of reading and/or searching, or the usual grumbler only interested in grumble.

But hey, never mind, this is ur day, as many moons ago when Yahoo 360 was still alive, a friend sent me this questionnaire, and as the good friend that i am, i took the time at that time to answer her questions, which she probably copied/pasted from a silly internet site. So get informed, enjoy, dislike, whatever, but make sure to……… remember.

1. Height?

5’11”

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?

No.

3. Do you own a gun?

Yes, more than one.

4. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?

It’s the doc who’s getting nervous when i enter his practice.

5. What do you think of hot dogs?

Well, as long as they’re a foot long……

6. What's your favorite Christmas song?

None.

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Nothing, as mostly i’m sleeping then.

8. Can you do push ups?

Yes. The question should have been tho…….how many?!

9. Is your bathroom clean?

All of them?

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?

A braided silver belt, 4”wide.

11. Do you like painkillers?

Why should pain be killed?

12. Do you have A.D.D.?

No.

13. ??????????????

Oh jolly, i loooove question marks.

14. Middle Name?

None.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?

Hair, sweat, horse. Oh geeez......new moment already. I pass.

16. Name the last 3 things you have bought?

Leather dress, ice-cream, nail polish.

17.Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:

Wine, water, cranberry juice.

20. What happened to18 and 19 ??????????

They’re bickering about numbers.

21. Current worry?

None.

22. Current hate?

Fascists & company.

23. Favorite place to be?

That Place

24. How did you bring in the New Year?

Can’t remember.

25. Where would you like to go?

A parallel universe.

26. Do you own slippers?

Yes.

27. What shirt are you wearing?

No shirt here right now.

28. Do you tan or burn?

Tan. (I burn others tho.)

29. Favorite color(s)?

Black, blue, red, and dark black.

30. Would you be a pirate?

What u mean……would?

31. What songs do you sing in the shower?

Russian and Gypsy folksongs, arias from Lucia di Lammamoor, Carmen etc.

32. What did you fear that was going to get you at night as a child?

Hmmmm, i was waiting to get THEM eh.

33. What's in your pockets right now?

No pockets.

34. Last thing that made you laugh?

This questionnaire.

35. Best bed sheets as a child?

Whatever. All i know is, that i love the leather ones i have now.

36.Worst injury you've ever had?

Bullet in the chest.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house?

Haven’t counted them.

38. Who is your loudest friend?

It’s unusual for people to raise their voice when i’m around.

39. Who is your most silent friend?

The one(s) i had to bury

40. Does someone have a crush on you?

Many r suffering from that.

41. Do u wish on shooting stars?

Never.

42. What is your favorite book?

Go look in my profile.

43. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?

Marriage? R u kidding?

44. What song do you want played at your funeral?

Pietro Mascagni's Intermezzo from Cavalleria Rusticana.

45. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?

Changing into something comfortable.

46. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?

First……..What the heck. Split second later…………..Ah ……….smells delicious.

So now u know.

Um......it's not my fault she left out all the questions u so desperately wanted answers to eh?

Come with me

2011-07-19T22:42:00.001-07:00

A funny thing happened............ Part 2

2011-06-28T13:33:00.000-07:00

B4 we move on, let’s reflect and rehearse a bit.

Observe the picture above. What do u see? What do u think? What do u think i think? What is this about? Is this a woman playing a role in some kind of B-movie? Is she a housewife gone wild? Maybe she’s an operative of the Tzahal or Aman? Simply a hit-woman fulfilling her contract? Is it Bauhinia Heroine, forcing someone to take her money? A sexy bank robber? The next Wonder Woman? A femdom aiming at a DSM?

Murmur from the crowd: "DSM? What the heck does that mean, Ayesha?” “Yeah, what are you talking about this time, you flaming daughter of a bitch eh?”

Ayesha: "Don’t u know? Where have u been u ignorant moron? It stands for Devalued Submissive Male, a creature which is standing proudly in the limelight these days, soon to claim his rightful place at Madame Tussauds!"

Voice from the crowd: "Come on. We are sick and tired of this stupid rehearsal. Just tell us who she is, so we can move on, dammit!”

Ayesha: "Yes, i know exactly who she is. But i won’t tell. Cos u know me eh? I’m not here to lecture u, or to bias ur interpretations and opinions with the truth."

Yes let’s move on indeed, and find out what’s so funny.

It all began when i visited Dev’s blog. Dev’s a woman after my own heart. Well, that’s what i thought when reading her blog on the supposedly devaluation of male submission. Sentences like, “He challenges me to live up to the values we both espouse, and lets me know what his needs and wants are”, can make me all fuzzy and warm. Not that they r exactly mirroring my ideas, but when i realized there was a woman in the virtual world who, like me, loves to be challenged by her slave(s), i simply had to comment:

“Bravo! Ur blog is not related to vanilla femdom, but leans more to feminine femdom. As it should be :)”

The topic seemed to be hot, cos in the following days/weeks it spilled over to several other blogs. In Dev’s blog these comments mostly turned out to belong to the “feeling sorry for oneself”, and of the “thank you, thank you, thank you” kind. Yes, i know, mea culpa, my interpretation. Anyway, it gave me reason to post this as well:

“After having read all the comments on this blog so far, i find it amazing, if not disturbing, that i rarely hear the voices of those who, like me, r opposed to humiliation, degradation, and dehumanizing of males within the realm of femdom, on blogs where submissiveness is pictured as a weakness, as inferior, as……well, as something despicable and yet to thrive on. Why don’t u people open ur mouth there, and let these idiots and parasites know, that femdom is not simply a derivation of patriarchal vanilla sex, or the next porn outlet?

Come on, be brave, go out there, and share ur views in places where they’re not welcome, where it is not safe to do so, where they will eat u alive. Yeah right. Don’t be afraid of paper tigers. Tell them!”

Oooooopsssssss!

In comes Meitar.

Among other things, he’s an activist, scholar, lecturer, and speaker, calling himself a social justice technologist. I think he’s actually a nice guy. At least he seems to live up to his ideas in an area where most people would hide in their closet. His friends call him maymay, but since i’m not his friend, i can’t do that.

Meitar deemed it necessary to lecture me a bit, saying: “Ayesha, you’re barking up the wrong tree for many, many reasons:……….”

And then there was an extensive summary of my dog-like behavior. I tell u, not very flattering, but hey, i’m used to stuff like that.

In comes Dev, saying: “I actually regularly humiliate and dehumanize my submissive."

Geeeez, i had to get out of that place. These weren’t my people at all! Feminine femdom abhors humiliation, degradation, and dehumanization, in any form. I save those for dealing with obnoxious vanilla lowlifes, when it’s appropriate and done. But with my slaves? No way! Then i consider these things worse than the plague, contaminating, polluting, and poisoning the very beauty of my way of living, and preventing us for instance to gracefully entering the singularity.

Again i had been way to optimistic and naïve (sigh). So i sent this:

“Apparently i made a mistake. Ur femdom isn’t feminine femdom. No humiliation etc there.

As for this maymay person? I heard this kind of babbling many times b4. It’s vanilla to the bone. Good stuff for never ending conversations on the couch tho, while happily consuming cheese and wine, and enjoying the support of likeminded babblers.

So, excuse my intrusion, and never mind what i was trying to get across.”

But my ordeal wasn’t over yet. Not by a long shot. Even after i had left, i still had to endure the wrath of the righteous ones. Why was that? Cos all of it ended up in my mailbox. Yes, mea culpa again. Maybe i left it open on purpose? Did they know? Or did they not believe i had left, labeling me a liar, still being around? Maybe they didn’t care if i was there or not, and had to ventilate their anger, or whatever, no matter what? Why would people do stuff like that? Beats me. Well, not really. I know why. But u wouldn’t want to know. Or do u? Maybe u know already urself? Interpretations? Assumptions?

Meitar wrote among other things:

“Clearly, you do not know me. Listen closely because I’ll only say this once: we could be allies unless you turn me against you—and I would not hesitate to take either position, given a useful reason for one over the other.”

Oh my gawd, this was a direct threat! Why would he do that? After all, he also said somewhere in this thread: “I disagree with how they play, but I will defend to the death their right to play that way.” Does that not count for me? Am i not allowed to play that way, my way? Am i the outcast here? A damned Pariah? Am i the one who has to be punished and suffer for having sinned against the crowd, the principles of (neo)-bdsm, the holy grail of mainstream femdom, or against whatever could have hatched in the mind of my ireful Inquisitor? Must i be the scapegoat now? Am i predestined to become the lamb to be slaughtered? To save others from my evil? Am i the chosen one?

And even worse, imagine what could happen, should we meet in r/l, and should i not have behaved according to the commandments and wishes of the Activist. The very thought of that makes me shiver!

Or this?

He’s right tho. I don’t know him. And i have no intention to change this state of affairs. I knew enough. Why should i want to know more? I don’t want to be his friend, nor do i need him as an ally. I left, remember. Should speak for itself, no?

Of cors, he doesn’t know much of me either. Which makes me wonder. Here we have an intelligent man, with both his feet firmly on the ground, seasoned by many significant life experiences (yes, yes, i did read some of his many online presentations), by far not as naive as i am, and yet he threatens me, a person he has no clue of what she’s capable of or not. Well, he should know something eh? There r some clues no? Maybe he missed them? Or found them laughable and ridiculous? I never do that u know. I was trained to never underestimate anybody. Not even people i would consider a louse, a weasel, an idiot, physically handicapped, or a combat rookie. And certainly not one i didn’t know much about. Life showed me that i was taught well. And i never threaten a person either. I never go to an individual and tell him or her to shape up, shut up, do this, or don’t do that………or else. It’s wrong u know. And rude. And not wise. Never warn a person. It’s ineffective u know.

In rolls Tomio, steaming:

“With all due respect, STFU. You know nothing of my life, and therefore you have no ability, much less right, to describe how I should spend it.”

and…………….

” …………..you have no right to make demands and paint everyone with a broad brush. Doing so will only alienate those who should have been your allies and it will not win over one “enemy.” Ever.”

See how that works? I mean interpreting words, sentences, entire pages?

Take for instance Tomio’s “STFU”. I’m sure some of u would assume it stands for “shut the fuck up”. Not very nice eh? And so rude too. But then again, there’s a polite explanation as well, i.e. “shut the freak up”. How about that eh? Much, much better. Then we have, “show them fury unleashed”. Is that what Tomio had in mind? I’m sure it was. Fits me better, don’t u think?

Unlike Meitar, Tomio denies me rights. Meitar would die for me, for me to keep my rights, while Tomio seems to be ready to kill me for that.

Tomio also assumes i’m looking for allies, and want to win over enemies, while i most certainly don’t.

After having cooled down a bit, Tomio’s volcano erupts again. And remember, i wasn’t even there. Funny, funny.

“But I do have to thank you for the laugh when you called maymay out as vanilla. That’s so ignorant that I may shoot milk out of my nose after the fact.”

An inner voice whispered to me: “Pssssst, Ayesha? Cuidao, Señora. Haven’t u noticed? There’s sarcasm in the air!” I couldn’t believe that. Not he, not my Tomio. Totally wrong interpretation of his words!

So Tomio was drinking milk? Or planning too? Maybe there was a lactating cow in his nose? I couldn’t possibly know, and i refuse to draw wild conclusions. What i do know tho, is that i never called Meitar (maymay for his friends) vanilla. I called his babbling vanilla. That’s different u know (well as i see it eh?), and i wouldn’t want to generalize.

He continued with an avalanche of assumptions and accusations.

“………people like you are just as stultifying and damaging to men’s psyches as anything tossed out by Kink, Inc. At least they know what they are and don’t pretend to be on the side of male submissives while knifing their spiritual back because they don’t measure up to a non-existent rating scale you have developed.”

Huh? Wtf? Sounds intriguing tho. I love knives. And i’m excellent indeed when it comes to damaging men’s psyches. U should see me playing chess with them (grin).

Oh, and he called me lazy! The nerve! I tell u, not many r as industrious as i am. Remember that old La Fontaine tale about the cricket and the ant? Yes Sir, i’m the ant, always taking care of business, Sir. But it’s true, when getting a chance, i just love to be a lazy bitch, goofing off the entire day, letting others do all the work, and still taking credit for it.

Sir Tomio also said he had evidence that my prime motivator was self-aggrandizement. I didn’t even know what that meant. I had to look it up. So now i know, and am able again to take part in sophisticated babblings, where difficult words r tossed around like dice on the crap(s) table, to confuse the participants. But then again, self-aggrandizement? That should be my prime motivator? Really? Nooooooo. Now where did that come from, hmm?

U know what also caught my eye? With all the need for, and display of, tolerance, the willingness to die for the rights of others, the warm thankfulness for finding oneself in the cradle of likeminded people, and the incredible blessing to finally be allowed to open up, it was totally funny to observe there also were a few signs of intolerance and even hate. Yes, that's right: Hate! Nah, not in relation to me (cors not!), not in Tomio’s anger, and certainly not coming from patronizing Meitar, but crawling up via the rest of the crowd. Which is remarkably funny indeed, cos nowadays, tolerance is shouted from almost every rooftop, and preached from every corner in Cyberspace, where the citizens of Kink Country r dwelling, gathering, and writing.

For instance, more than once there was a display of disdain and contempt for people who love to strut around in leather outfits and stuff like that. As usual not in a direct way, but i could feel it, smell it, even touch it. No, no, i’m not assuming now. This is not simply a bad interpretation either. And although some will say i have no right to say this, i know i’m right, right? It’s one of the reasons why i ceased to be an activist in the velvet underground. Too many people there with triple agendas. Too many liars telling the world about their honesty. Too many pseudo gurus and self proclaimed messiahs with a quest. Or should i follow up on Tomio, and say, non-existent quests? Too many world healers too, u know. I wrote about that a few blogs back.

Going back now to the devaluation of male submission, i did some research myself. There’s really something going on in that area, people. It’s no joke either. Look at what i found.

Poor men! All seems to be lost. But there’s a bright side u know. A silver lining indeed. It’s not about my men. It’s about all the other men. It’s about the ones feeling sorry for themselves, drowning in self-pity. It’s about the ones who blame me, and other women of my caliber, for their misery. In fact they’re blaming the entire world for their misfortune. It’s the common way to have a socially accepted excuse for staying inactive, having failed, and being grumpy.

Here’s my take on all this, as it was published b4 on another blog to which the issue meandered, picked up, and addressed.

"Are submissive men devalued? Certainly not by me. I simply love them, cherish them. I even put them on a pedestal. Or hang them from the ceiling. Or.......... Anyway i consider them GODS! Gods who do my bidding cos there's no other way for them, gods who challenge me, gods who manage to get the best and worst out of me, gods i just can’t stand sometimes. Of cors, i’m referring here to the ones who live up to my standards, and who don’t waste time by trying to find out what that is, d/s. They already know. They don’t need definitions, confirmations, or support. They don’t care if others accept them for what they r or not. They don’t need to find out if they’re right or wrong. Cos wrong and right, and everything in between, don’t belong to their world. They just go with what they r, how they feel, and what makes them horny. The rest of them, the victims of childhood, the victims of society, the victims of their libido, the not-understood, the whiners, the complainers, the teachers, the philosophers, the healers, and the blamers, devaluated or not , can take a hike, or go on doing whatever keeps them from being a slave.

Hmmmm, maybe i’ll incorporate this comment in my next funny blog :) "

And so i did. Amen.

What? U want to read all on Dev’s blog? To see if i quoted honestly perhaps? Or simply cos u want to taste the full flavor of what went on there? OK. Here u go! Enjoy!

But b4 u go, watch the video. It’s a great clip. Well, for me eh. Maybe u will say it’s junk. Funny thing is tho, it will give u an idea of the kind of people i descend from, as well as the kind i like to associate with.

לחיים

A funny thing happened............

2011-06-11T16:32:00.001-07:00

No, no, not on the way to the Forum, and not to the Moon either. Ergo, and this may be disappointing for some of u, this blog is not about Pseudolus and his gang, nor will it incorporate the Van Allen belts. But it was funny, and it happened too. Where? In a blog. Yes, in a blog. Which can be seen as a kind of a forum too, no? As a matter of fact, it was not that funny u know, but in a way it was. Guess it depends a bit on what u would label as funny, and what not. Or half-funny. Or only 20%. Maybe some people would have called it sad. Or silly. Or a milestone.

Which brings me to Watzlawick. Remember Paul? No? Well he was one of the leading authorities in the field of communication. I learned a lot from him, and loved to read most of his books. If u haven't yet, u really should try: 'Pragmatics of Human Communication'; 'How Real is Real?'; 'Ultra-Solutions: How to Fail Most Successfully'; and 'The Situation is Hopeless, but not Serious'. Funny stuff too.

One thing that kept me busy for a rather long time, and was most amusing, was what he had to say about how we interpret other peoples messages. When doing so in RealityLand, we respond, react, interact, and reply on the basis of all the info which is filtering through to us. We have sound, mimic, pantomimic, in fact the complete range of body-language. Did u know that even ugly and fat bodies can’t hide their language? No? Well, u know now! But tell me, how skilled r u to read that language properly? Huh? That poor eh? Terrible, terrible. Do something about it! U will benefit from it.

Anyway, the filter is of utmost importance here, as most people i know, including myself, block certain information due to the structure of their personality and the situation at hand. I think it's clear: We r selecting which info we allow to come to us, and which has to go to our garbage bin. And..... we're interpreting the info we harvest as well, therefore creating mega possibilities for misinterpretation of the original, already mutilated, message. All this seems to be 'natural' for us humans. Point is tho, to really make an effort, to really go for it, to understand what a messenger was trying to communicate to us. Well.... i mean, if we would give a rat’s ass. I'm optimistic tho, as most people i know in r/l, r emphasizing they truly want to grasp what the other is saying. Guess it has something to do with that open mind thingy i wrote about a few blogs back.

But no matter the sincerity of our attempts, no matter all the extra miles we r willing to walk, crawl, or dance, we always will stay in bondage with this. There’s no real escape possible. Only the Platonic illusion. Only the interpretation that we did. Which of cors is a good thing, cos i love bondage, mentally as well as physically. It’s great to completely possess a person. Not only for the weekend, or during a cozy evening at home, but for ever.Taking away from her/him any possibility to escape, is one of the things that makes me tick, that can awake that delicious side of me, which others fear, hate, and yet wouldn’t want to miss for heaven.

Btw, as i wrote so many times b4, that’s the difference between playing/acting and being who u r 24/7/365, between recreational/mainstream/patriarchal based femdom and the one i’ve baptized feminine femdom. FFD is in ur DNA, blood, or whatever, like it is with the color of ur eyes, the shape of ur bones, and the chemistry of ur limbic system, or it is not. It’s there 24/7/365, for as long as u live, or it is not!

Now, take a good look at the first picture above, a.k.a. the main picture. What is it all about? Of cors u’ve already noticed that the background is the Forum Romanum amidst a bunch of ruins in the center of Rome. Hehe, not Rome Illinois or a zillion other places carrying that name, and not even the province, but Roma, capitale d’Italia. Capisci?

Oh, u never visited Roma? But u should u know. I admit, many rats in that city, even the human kind, but b4 u die, u not only should visit Naples (no not in Florida silly, i mean Napoli!), but at least have tasted the air of Antico Caffè della Pace, and danced the night away in Goa. And of cors u wouldn’t want to skip the Foro Romano, hehehe.

Back to the picture again. Wisecracker mumbles: “Background? What background? What r u talking about Ayesha? Who said these ruins must be background eh?” And Smartass adds: “Yeah right! Who gave u the right to sentence these beautiful remains of human glory to background eh?” Ayesha: “I said that, u ignorant cookie. And what i say goes! Now shut the fuck up, u dumb rear end”.

Grrrrrrrr. Can’t stand these people, always arguing, always accusing, always knowing things better, and always questioning my good intentions. But ok let’s continue. What is that woman, holding the smoking gun, looking at? Is it the other woman? Is it the vase? Maybe both? What is she thinking? Is it: “That bitch is next”? Or: “When home again, i’ll buy a vase like that, but i won’t put those stinking flowers in it”? Maybe she isn’t looking at that woman at all, and ponders: “Damn, that bird got away”. Or: “Father in heaven will watch over me, even if i shoot Ayesha”. Hmmm, u know what i think? What my interpretation is? She’s smitten with me, and now that she’s done her job, and has put her rival away, she can only dream of a sexual encounter with me. Makes me feel hot!

U see? I’m sure some of u disagree, and believe she never could go for a person like me. Well, that’s ur interpretation, remember? That's ur assumption. That was ur filter acting up. And it’s wrong, hehehe. Besides, i also say, some of u do believe what i said, but would rather bite their tongue, then to admit same.

And who is she anyway? Where does she come from? Is she a hit-woman from Sicilia? Washington DC? Perhaps a sinister member of the Illuminati? And then, which one eh? A housewife from The Hamptons (no not England u moron. Geeeez!), fed up with her no good cheating husband? That slime-ball who vowed to be her slave, and then went to some porno teen? Could she simply be a model, holding a fake gun? And what about that other woman? What’s wrong with her? Is she in distress? Is she an abandoned Goddess from the ancient Roman Empire? Maybe there’s nothing wrong with her. Maybe she just had an exquisite orgasm. Or is meditating about a vase with flowers? U name it.

And u do u know. As do i. We do name it. We do it all the time. We seldom ask questions. I mean, with good intentions. Instead, we assume, interpret, and filter, without even knowing it. Mostly without wanting to know it. Well….um…..as u’ve just noticed, i do. I do want to know. I know exactly when i do it, and when not. Ok, ok, most of the time. And only when in the mood. U too? Do u? Do u admit it too? Really? Hmmmm, we’ll see.

Btw, have u looked in the mirror lately? Yes? What did u see? Was it u? Was it a reflection of u? Did u feel strange? As if u weren’t u? Did this fear u? Or did u love it? Oh, and did u know that as long as u live, and even after that, u will never be able to see the movement of ur own eyes? U think that’s nonsense? Try it!

So far u got my drift? Very good. So from now on u will acknowledge and share with me the reality, that ur communication with others is tainted by interpretations and assumptions, which, more than once, will only contaminate the flow of information, and instead of creating an atmosphere of harmony and understanding, even if u were trying ur best to avoid same, quite frequently will lead to quarrel, more assumptions, disagreement, more interpretations, silly arguing, jumping to conclusions, stupid accusations, more assumptions, oppressive actions, and finally to a complete status of amnesia of what this was all about in the first place. Of cors this wouldn’t necessarily mean u would come to ur senses, would try to see the fun of it all, or take a hike. Chances r u would go on, and on, and on, trying to convince others how right u r, how wrong the other party is, and even warn that party to back off, or else……

Now picture these processes in Cyberspace, where we only have the written word, a more or less accurate profile of the sender/receiver, or no profile at all. Chaos i tell u. Not noticed of cors as long as we're scratching the back of our beloved ones, our brothers and sisters in crime, fetish, or d/s, and .......r scratched back. Yes, then we have harmony, and never ending love. Well, depending on our interpretations and assumptions of cors. Yes, then we're in Nirvana, Walhalla, or some other cozy illusionary sanctuary. But when there's some antagonism picked up by one of the participants, yes then, oh my, chances r, all hell will break loose. Just as it would in r/l. Havoc all over the place, and a cultivated specimen of Freud's Es (Id) will soon be stampeding through the virtual neighborhood.

U know, sometimes i do it on purpose. Cos it’s funny to pull a few legs, to provoke people a bit by tickling their paradigms, or to challenge their new found realities, missions, discoveries, and harmonies. And not only on my way to the Forum, the Moon, or in the blog of Dev. Yes, yes, it was her blog i was referring to. Only as an example tho, as the funny things that were happening there, r happening in many places, whether on the way to the Moon, the FR, or in other virtual environments.

So, these were the preliminaries. Enough of that now. In my next blog i will reveal all the juicy details. Or part of it. Or nothing at all. Cos i’m a very moody and erratic person u know. One moment i promise u this, the next minute the opposite, and the next day i forgot all about it. Yes, that’s me. And that’s a fact, no matter ur interpretation, no matter ur assumptions, and no matter what filter u placed between me and u.

R u still with me? Ti piace qui? Davvero! Molto bene :)

Beautiful Vanilla

2011-06-03T21:59:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful evening, close to midnight. A full moon was decorating the cloudless sky, draping its light over the pool, the surrounding palm trees, and our lazy bodies.

Anita left us the first, and went to the atrium, doing whatever a woman of her caliber has to do. Then Minerva went inside, taking Lucinda with her, followed a few minutes later by Alejandra. So there i was, all alone with the moon and my thoughts. Episodes of my life passed by, overlapping each other timelessly as if they were one. Suddenly i found myself dreaming about my life with Shirah, the time i spent with her in Haifa, the Golan, the warzone in which she died, the pain that never had left me, and the bastards that still r killing my people. Unrest boiled up in my mind, rushing through my body, and taking over my soul. I needed to relax, to find something to distract me from the overwhelming desire to create havoc once again, and to sooth my upcoming rage.

So I went inside as well, to find the others.

As Lucinda saw me enter, she must have sensed my turmoil, and approached me with her firm gentleness, which is so characteristic for this wonderful woman, who once made her home on the streets of Bogotá. She feels me as i feel myself. As i felt Shirah. Her presence calms me down. She makes me hate less.

The others also know when it’s time to keep silent and to engage me in some kind of activity to bring me back to the here and now, far away from the horrors of the past, and my addiction to steer my thoughts back to times i refuse to forget.

We were going to watch a movie or 2.

The first one was: “My Sister’s Keeper”. An incredibly emotional movie about two sisters in their teens, and their family. One with incurable blood cancer, and the other one brought into this world as a supplier of body parts to keep the dying one alive. I’ve seldom seen a movie in which human emotions were portrayed so magnificently as in this one. While watching, we cried a lot, and felt much related. If people can be like that, without exempting anybody who played a role in this film, i’m willing to reflect on my rather negative views regarding vanilla people, and reconsider some of my attitudes towards them.

Our second choice: “The Blind Side”. A beautiful movie about truly warm human relations, and unconditional love against all societal odds, with Sandra Bullock playing the woman of my heart. A masterpiece. Well….um……ok then….this time i’ll go along with it. Again one which shows that there may be still a few vanillas around, whose friendship i could cherish. Remarkable and absolutely recommended.

The third one: “Inglourious Basterds”. Guess it was Anita who put that one into the player. She can’t stand it when i go soft, as mentally she’s going through a difficult time herself these days, and needs me more than ever to stand tall at her side, unforgivable, ready and eager to destroy all that caused her lose part of her womanhood. But i don’t think she would have done this, had she known what really was on that dvd.

Anybody who knows me a little bit, knows i hate fascists and Nazis, and all that, even remotely, comes with them. As this movie is about a group of jewish-american soldiers, dropped behind German lines some time b4 D-day, to slaughter any German soldier they would encounter, in order to create fear and demoralization among the supposedly invincible German troops, i cheered its contents, and thought i was in for a pleasant ride. Little did i know.

As the film evolved, my disgust was building. At the end i was sick to my stomach, as were my companions. Cruelty for the sake of cruelty. Torture as a way of entertainment. Killing for pleasure. That’s what the famous Quentin Tarantino had put on my plate. Well damn him, and the rest of his crew! I’m sure the man has never set foot on a battlefield, and has no clue of what’s really going on there. He must be a pitiful human being, craving to depict the lowest of human behavior imaginable. And not with the purpose to educate or warn people of what they’re capable of, but to deliver the filthiest of filth to entertain us. And if it was only him and his sick admirers, i wouldn’t even really care. It’s the masses that applaud his work which disturbs me. This filth harvested an Oscar, won other awards, and got nominated numerous times, and was / is scored higher by the public than the 2 other landmark movies i presented here, showing the ultra ugly face of members of vanilla society, their hypocrisy, indifference, ignorance, desire to hurt, and to glorify violence.

No matter how educated people like to present themselves, no matter how they try to come across as decent human beings, no matter their claim to have compassion and to crave integrity, honor, and honesty, when peeling off the first layers, their weak and pitiful persona surfaces in no time.

And for all of u, who only know the atrocities of this world from watching movies, the news, reading newspapers, or hearsay, i’ll repeat once more: There is no glory in killing people, there is no joy in watching ur enemy perish, there is no satisfaction when having destroyed an army, there is no honor in demolishing someone’s home. But there is sadness, guilt, and the feeling to have failed. I know, at times there will be a need to defend urself against the hordes of scumbags and lowlifes inhabiting this planet with us. I know i did, and willing to do it again! But u don’t go out there to kill them with pleasure. U don’t enjoy their agony when u take their life. And u don’t support the ones who do. Not even when sitting safely at home, letting others do ur dirty work. Cos if u do, u don’t deserve to live urself!

It was a beautiful morning, with clear skies, a warm breeze, and 5 hungry females. So we had a delicious breakfast.

Real Bimbos

2011-05-31T22:31:00.000-07:00

Ahem.........who am i to say what real bimbos r, huh? I tell u what. I don't give a rat's ass what real really is. I know one thing tho: The ones who sell themselves as the real thing, r not that at all. A real bimbo never wants a sugar daddy taking care of her. A real bimbo never ever wants to be a male's trophy. A real bimbo is never ever someone's silly dumbass giggling doll. Oh sure, she can pretend to be like that, play like that, and fool the world splendidly, but in fact a real bimbo is a way above average intelligent, elegant, and sophisticated Alpha-Woman, eager to be enslaved by women like me. And yes indeed, a real bimbo is incredibly curvy at the right places. Which makes her stand out of the crowd, leaving the crowd in awe, and making her sisters with less blossomed bosoms green with envy.

There's a special kind of real bimbos too. A class apart so to speak, recognizable by their huge clits, aka She-males. Although i prefer GG's, i really love the ones who r as addicted to leather and rubber like me, and can walk in 6" heels as if they were dancing on clouds, seducing a pantheon of gods with their bodily movements and facial expressions. I often go out with creatures like that, creating havoc on the streets, in chic restaurants, and all kinds of prohibited areas were people, driven by dogmas, morals, protocols, and other stupid cultural prescribed phenomena, r gathering to convince themselves they're the chosen and righteous ones. The silly thing is tho, these creeps envy us, hahahahaha. Bunch of hypocrites, that's what they r.

For all u suckers, still suffering from stupid opinions, crawling up from stinking vanilla sewer systems, eventually making u feel guilty and miserable, and even forcing u in a way to consider to give up ur natural sexuality, i've uploaded a video of one of the best specimen of womanhood. Enjoy! And take to heart what the song is all about.

Oh yeah, for all u illiterate ones, who r too lazy to go out into the world and learn a few languages, read the subtitles lol.

Real bimbos? My ass! I simply call them, Bimbos. The rest? U mean the ones pretending? Oh those? Who cares!? But Bimbos they r NOT!

Post scriptum

As y'all can see in the comment section, someone going by the name of Tyggertom is questioning my description of bimbo. Not my Bimbo eh, but the general type, hehehe. So what does a woman who craves to be objective do? Call in an expert of cors. Here she is.

Ze Open Mind

2011-05-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

The open mind is a beautiful thing. Still it pisses me off. Does this piss u off? Probably! U have an open mind of ur own no? What? U don't? R u out of ur mind? Must be, as i never met a person who told me she/he had a closed one. U r the first. U certainly r standing out of the crowd. Seems u have a mind of ur own. I like that. Good for u. Hit me up sometime. We could become friends, lovers even. Well um...... as long as u do as i say, or r a daughter of Lilith like me.

Online it's even worse. Many here have not only an open mind, but also a constant need to tell me how open their mind really is, and to convince me of their illusion that their mind is even more open than the one of their neighbor or some other dude on the block. More or less with the same frequency as is the case with males posing as females and screaming on their profile, .....no men, no men, no men. Nauseating!

It becomes even more disturbing when these open minds actually r resembling reinforced concrete with a twist. Ever met an individual who said: "Hey, listen up, i'm very open minded, and willing to try anything twice, but i won't engage in ...........", or, "I'm all for people to be free, and do as they like, provided that.............". And how about this one: "I hate it when people r prejudiced, base their opinions on stereotypes, and never learned to open up their mind. I'm so glad i don't belong to those assholes". That kind of open mind bearers? I'm sure u did. Maybe u r one of them.

So what did i do? I installed a fire wall. To save my mind from the open mind cultists, aka ROBCO's. At times tho, i can't resist. Then i go out into the wilderness again, to have a peek, and to drill a few holes in the open mind of the rigid and righteous ones. Just to help them from closing the damned thing completely eh? Told u. I'm a pure social worker at heart. Keep that in mind when watching the video.

Shadow-show

2011-05-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

As promised, here r the first 2 pieces from my soon to be in the past Yahoo blogs.

To break, broke, broken.

Seems there r plenty people roaming Cyberspace, whose only intention is to break someone, or to be broken themselves. Hilarious. And so stupid too. There's a special breed of paper slaves, who believe a femdom should break them first, and then build them up again according to the wishes of the domina. Typical vanilla d/s, where the *dominant*is working her ass off, to make sure the banal desires of the*slave* r met.

And then we have of cors the club of *broken dommes*, women who once where cruel mistresses, fiery goddesses, or another silly creature of that kind, who suddenly (or after long and deep thinking) saw the light, realizing they truly wanted to be a lowly and inferior nobody, to be humiliated and dehumanized to the bone, by either a teenager, or a mature mommy in leather carrying a box of pampers.

As is the case with the majority of the *lesbians* in here (No male, no male, no male, can't you read you scumbag, no male no male no male), these people r mostly deranged gentlemen (or a bad variant of same), trying that way to become more attractive to the ladies. Guess in the end they'll end up with another poser, lol.

Now....don't worry eh.....and be happy u hear?! And don't forget to glue all the pieces together once ur done.

PS. Couple of days ago one of them broken ones declared she disliked it when people *can't spell a simple word like "you."*. So to ease her pain, i sent her this:

---Lmfao. I c u r a gr8 spelling snob 2. B4 u h8 me now...... :-*---

It really broke her heart, went to pieces even further, and removed my comment very dominantly without any mercy. A class act.

The psychology behind to break, broke, broken.

The wish/desire to break someone mentally and/or physically, is a sure sign of weakness. If this wish/desire is rooted in racism, fascism, nazism and filth like that, it's not only silly, but also objectionable and appalling. People with fascistic personalities r using d/s in general, and femdom in particular, as a smokescreen to hide their true character, which is described by Adorno et al, and many researchers of this phenomenon after them, as ego-weakness. People suffering from this, have a need to find scapegoats, without which, they can’t function. They also crave strict hierarchy, within which they need to trample and harass the ones who r placed beneath them (mostly the minorities in a certain society), and to worship and adore the ones who r placed above them. In short, a Befehl ist Befehl environment.

Since the birth of Internet, many of them have infested Cyberspace with their filth, playing as if they were strong men and women, emphasizing among other things on superiority cq inferiority of certain groups of people or plain gender, while in daily life they wouldn’t dare to act like that at all. In r/l these people would only come out of the closet, when supported and encouraged by larger groups of people, like for instance was the case in Nazi-Germany. One could say, that ego-weakness and cowardice r twins.

Of cors, in Cyberspace, there r also those, who r not really into fascism, who r not really seeking relief for their more or less forbidden feelings and socially disapproved of beliefs/attitudes etc. These ones just find their fun in upsetting other people, by acting as if they were nazis, or to stay more close to home, as if they were into breaking dommes, or to be broken themselves. Still they belong to the weak-ego clan as well, only hanging from a different branch of the moldering tree, which i consider symbolic for these people, and absolutely not even capable of breaking their mommy’s household rules. In fact they r longing for recognition, support, hugs, and other sweet things, but camouflage all this by posing as strict dommes, cruel masters, and……. well a whole range of other ‘powerhouses’. They’re unable to come forward with their true desires, settling for surrogate satisfaction instead.

In the Name of ............

2011-05-17T23:09:00.000-07:00

Remember? Ok here goes #2. Even if u don’t.

Progress

Yahoo! is reprioritizing these days some products to deliver the best possible experiences to its consumers. BANG! There u have it! Written in stone. No more, no less. Like when they flushed 360 to the sewers little than a year ago, their one and only reason to cripple an already crippled Pulse even more now is: “……. an effort to make our service a relevant experience for the community.”

We, the consumers, r that important to Yahoo! Accompanied of cors by a few unimportant stockholders in the background, also just dripping from genuine altruism and concerned about our experiences.

Like it is with television, movies, forums, other social networks and similar entertainment areas, Yahoo! too goes with the crowd, the majority, and the holy ratings. All in the name of our wellbeing, satisfaction, growth, and best possible experiences. Well, that’s how they want things to look on the porch of their house of cards. In the back of it, greedy bookkeepers r counting the loot of the day, anticipating its cumulative growth in the future.

To hell with passion, depth, empathy, intensity, honesty, commitment, maturity, and responsibility. Hail to the vanilla clowns and clones, thriving on lies, deceit, and fake personas. Welcome to hypocritical gurus and false messiahs, celebrating uniformity, conformism, brainwashing, indoctrination, and obedience. Applause to mediocrity and its derivates. A curse on excellence, deviants, and people who r willing to explore and make a difference. Death to paradigm shifting, new opportunities, and hidden potential. Well, that’s the truth hiding in the back of their calculative mind. Their billboards and tabloids r screaming the opposite, in an effort to fool and indoctrinate the crowd even more.

The corrupted, corroded, and empty opinion of the majority is holy to them, as well as manipulating, molding and coercing people to cross over, and become part of that laughable herd. The will of the herd is law. Well….um…uh…. i mean….as long as it’s eagerly consuming the products of what brings the stockholders the revenues they’re after eh. It’s a superb example of the living democracy. The democracy of one-dimensional people. One ass, one vote.

Like i said, Yahoo! is not alone in this. Only brought forward by me now cos i’m active on their platform as well, and angered by their determination to continue killing a once promising and great thing, and selling this in the name of progress.
Expect a transfer of some of my Yahoo! blogs to Blogger in the coming days, as i don’t want them to go under with Pulse, nor to only linger in my archives till the time i want them to disappear forever.

When the sails r in rags
And stormy weather prevents
Hoisting new ones
When termites ate the oars
And i'm too weak
To row with my hands,
It’s then, when
I start my engines.

Forget it!

2011-03-27T23:04:00.000-07:00

Yes people, it’s over! The time has come! Finally! Well….um…..it was here for a long time already of cors, but most of the vanilla d/s clique didn’t dare to embrace the reality regarding gender differences. And i’m not referring here to the silly contents of books like John Gray’s “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, if u catch my drift!

Yes indeed, i’m talking about female supremacy. I’m even infamous for that. Do u mind?

Back in 2004 i wrote somewhere:

If u would have understood only a little bit about me, u would have realized, that if there’s one woman who’s ridiculing female supremacy, not believing one bit of so called male inferiority, and who was banned from many groups, forums, and r/l conferences, just for expressing this, it would be me.

And in 2005:

Some time ago there was a thread in here, discussing, among other things, one of the more popular works of Michio Kaku. The existence of more than 1 universe is not a theory anymore. Time warps and star gates r out of their science fiction phase. Of cors, the ones who only can function, and only can balance their life, when holding on to what they perceive as the truth and ancient common sense nonsense, will resist these findings. It never varies. Fear of changing their ways, which of cors r not theirs at all but implemented by their society, was always slowing down progress. If it was for these people, the earth would still be flat.

This fear is also one of the reasons, why femdom was degenerated to some tolerable variant of vanilla sex, or something that has its roots in ancient matriarchal cultures, cutting it wings, making it safe, and was/is invaded by guilt driven sissies, impotent males, men-hating females, frigid goddesses, trendy snobs, and of cors the orks and gollums from Middle Earth. And so, that bunch of weaklings invented and embraced the concept of female supremacy, to give weak females the illusion they aren't weak at all, but supreme beings who must be served by even weaker males, who can only thrive when feeling inferior and treated like dirt (on their terms of cors). Stinking co-dependency, that's what it is.

And so it went on for years, lol. Then, last year, i touched the nerve of a pro-domme, who btw was mentioned on my site b4, going by the name of Saharah Eve, when i wrote:

……… is exactly how i feel, and felt since day one actually, about this supremacy thinghy. If there's anything stupid and banal, especially within d/s, it's the concept of supremacy, and its nephews going by the name of superiority and inferiority. Femdom based, and thriving, on the supremacy principle, is simply stale vanilla fantasy, embedded in patriarchal dreams of submissive women acting like dominas, supported by females who can't live without their subbie-hubbie, or r keen enough to grab the opportunity to make a buck out of this nonsense.

Now was that a flaming collection of thoughts or what? Right!

Yes, that did it. That blew her fuse. She replied with a lengthy essay on the legality of female supremacy, trying to explain to us, among other things, that female supremacy is not necessarily equal to female superiority, bla, bla, bla.
A few quotes from this:

At its core, Female Supremacy is about ultimate authority, power and status belonging to the Female.
……….but that overall, their empathetic leanings and greater biological indispensability seat them in a higher social station over men.
I can state that females, as a whole, are more empathetic, more socially inclusive, less destructive/violent and less biologically expendable.
I wasn't laying out the logical thesis for my beliefs in Female Supremacy - - that would be a fairly lengthy dissertation.

Caramba, by Lilith’s superbly shaped body………..a dissertation? From one who believes in female supremacy from the beginning? Oh no! Not another proof based on ontological principles. Not a rehearsal of Thomas Aquinas’ silly and futile attempt to prove the existence of the divine! Spare me this crap! She would do better to keep on going to discipline her sub-humans, orchestra the production of her videos, continue to walk her male dogs in the park, and leave it at that!

A former friend of mine, called Sarah (no, no, no, not Saharah), said once to me with conviction:

Female Supremacy is the radical notion that Women can be better leaders for a better world.

Now, this was a very intelligent and compassionate sister, and still she was unable to be radical herself, to question her own beliefs on the matter, and to challenge the forces that kept her comfort zone alive. Being a deviant from the vanilla crowd as per definition, a femdom should do that u know, and i wonder what makes it so difficult for most women to act accordingly, and why they need to cling to the patriarchal concepts they say they abhor.

Certainly i can’t leave out Elise Sutton, Rasa von Werder, MZ BBW, and numerous other women advocating female supremacy as the natural order of life. Of cors i purposely left out male writers like William Bond, groveling at the feet of these females, as well as a zillion of female writers known to me as males, lol. Their motivation to support this banality has a different source, and is well known, hehe.
While compiling this blog i glanced at MZ BBW’s writings and found this:

Woman is the highest form of life and man should feel fortunate that She allows him to even co-exist with Her.

………… he is totally inferior and belongs at Her feet as Her obedient slave. It is Woman that is the decision maker, leader and Dominant species. Her wisdom is far superior and the best hope for humanity.

Female Supremacy cuts through all racial, age, and income barriers. Any Woman, regardless of what color She is, how old She is, where She is from or Her level of income, IS superior to any man. This is the core belief of Mine and one that I will always adhere to.

Well adhere as much as u like, i’d say. Keep conning urself. Resist to acknowledge the facts, and avoid as much as possible to pay attention to new research results regarding gender differences, while claiming ur convictions r based on undeniable scientifically found data at the same time. Guess opportunism and hypocrisy r celebrated as great personality traits of female supremacists as well, rofl!

Madam Elise and her kind, belong to a group of women, who r embroidering on patriarchal values and paradigms, and using questionable scientific findings to prove their point. Consequently, they're trying to embed the ways of the patriarch in a femdom environment, at the same time telling their audiences they r not, lol. Doing so, femdom becomes a joke, positioning the male as the primus inter paris, and the ‘domina’ as his servant. And to think, these women believe, they’re different from the rest of their vanilla sisters, hahahaha. Ah well, mundus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur!

One of the goals of science is to prove that certain isolated events r not restricted to that event per se, but could also be applicable to a broader spectrum of events. To make use of these generalizations for one’s own purpose is acceptable and maybe the right way to do. But to generalize an idea or belief just like that, without any significant back up, or worse, by pointing to a few alleged manifestations of that belief in one’s own environment or the writings of soul mates, is stupid, and belongs to the world of morons, ignorant, crackpots, and wannabes!

Although i’m not really standing in a friendly way toward the marketing techniques of pro-dommes like Saharah Eve, i still can make an exception for them, as they’re trying to make a living out of catering to the inner desires of their clientele, who wish and force them to be female supremacists, to be their cruel and sublime superiors, ready to punish and humiliate them when the price is right. Apart from a few, most of these women told me they have to go many extra miles to really get a buck out of their business. Reason why it was always hard for me to understand why they went into it from the beginning, as there r certainly more enjoyable and lucrative ways to achieve a financial utopia.

Be all this as it may, the “teachings” of pro-dommes, related to female supremacy and femdom, i usually take with a truckload of salt, as well as a kind-hearted smile.

Back now to the end of the female supremacy fallacy.

Below u’ll find a video featuring Cordelia Fine, a woman of much more substance than all others, referred to above, combined. As an impartial source, she may convince u of what i am claiming from the time i set my first steps in the realm of feminine femdom: Female supremacy is crap!

Compared to what i usually bring to u, this video is of considerable length, and will challenge the patience and intelligence of a few, if not all. If u make it through the first 10 minutes, hit the lower right button on the video screen, to be able to view the complete show, and to educate urself somewhat more.

To ease the pain a bit for the fervent and diehard believers of this supremacy nonsense, as well as for our cute little pink sissies here, i added a video by Peter McAllister regarding manthropology, explaining why males r becoming more and more pathetic, lol.

If after having watched the first one, and maybe even the second one, u still r not convinced that female supremacy is boloney, then tell me, what makes it so attractive for u to emphasize that females in general r so much better than males, with all the consequences attached to this belief, instead of throwing this notion of female supremacy into the garbage bin, and having exquisite sex, sublime communication, and a 24/7/365 life founded on the basis of emotional and intellectual equality, getting an extra impulse from being wired as a domina or a slave?

Um, and don’t forget to ponder a while on combining female supremacy with female slaves eh?

Vide cor Meum

2011-03-10T21:57:00.000-08:00

I found her
In the slums of Bogotá
A wreck
Of unseen proportions
Spit out
By civilization

I held her
In the slums of Bogotá
A descendent
Of the chosen people
Crushed
By the Diaspora

I fed her
In the slums of Bogotá
A shadow
Of long forgotten times
Abandoned
By her beauty

I took her
From the slums of Bogotá
To a place of light
A dangerous and risky place
A safe place
That Place

She finds me
In the gardens of That Place
When my darkness
Turns to black
Captured in unbearable shades
Of torture

She holds me
In the corridors of That Place
When immortal memories
Reopen the wounds
From a haunting past
Of violence

She feeds me
In the twilights of That Place
When my hunger for her flesh
Awakens MyEgo
In an orgiastic environment
Of lust

We go back to our past sometimes
Together now
Inseparable
Not alone anymore
Walking hand in hand
Down streets and alleys
On shores and battlegrounds
To taste its filth again
To inhale its grim reality and despair
To weep and comfort each other
To cherish the roots
That make us One

לראות את האור

Branding

2011-02-17T15:37:00.001-08:00

Quite recently Sara wrote a blog on human branding. No, not that Sara, silly. U should know by now i’m referring to Saratoga the submissive wired Alpha male, eh? Anyway, now u all r out of the dark, let me tell my story. Or was it his story? The story of Madame Sadistica? Oh geez, here goes.

It was more or less a reaction to what an alleged sadistic female was trying to make her audience believe about her sm-practices. For instance, she claimed to have her victim perform wild cunnilingus on her, right after he had received her branding. I mean while he was still gasping for air, screeching like a tortured pig, and under a tremendous amount of pain. And rest assured, branding can be awfully painful! Well….um….. when done without anesthetics. And even then, after u have been chased out from the recovery room, it can hurt like hell. It certainly is not for the squeamish!

Since branding stands rather central in my life, i first wanted to respond on Sara’s blog. Remembering tho his lousy moderating and nasty remarks the last times i sent him my thoughts, made me decide to refrain from that, and post it here, in my own cozy rosy environment. Besides, he wouldn’t want to read it anyway, and destroy my thoughts, without even looking at them, the second they would arrive at his sanctuary. Well, so he said (grin).

Here’s what i would have written.

I agree that branding, done by inexperienced, fantasy driven rookies, should be avoided. Indeed it's a risky and a potentially dangerous procedure. But so is for instance the use of a bullwhip, erotic asphyxiation, or simply driving a car. On the other hand, branding had its place in numerous societies, and still has. With the necessary skill, knowledge of 'how to', and the desire to give/get one, it can be very exciting/rewarding, physically as well as psychologically. Many slaves (i mean the ones who deserve that title and not the ones who keep on babbling about for instance going to be branded, and call the police or their mom when the iron comes into sight), feel mega empowered when walking through life, carrying on their body the brand mark of the one who owns them. I mean owns them.

Any idea of how many ways there r to brand ur slave? I’m sure u do (grin). But still, just in case eh? Go here and educate urself a little. And maybe make ur choice. Remember tho, true aficionados of this art won’t settle for anything less than the traditional way. I must admit tho, more modern and specialized techniques can give a much more striking and beautiful end result. At times this gives me a headache (sigh).

Years ago i had a friend, who was into fire. What she did to her slaves with fire was unbelievable. To her, branding was simply foreplay. She was not a sadist tho. She wasn’t into delivering pain and punishment. She was just a passionate female who simply loved to see the flames dancing on her lovers, and to enlighten their lives.

Still, compared to other markings, like for instance tattoos (excluding maybe scar tattooing), branding is extreme indeed. I mean, according to mainstream vanilla thinking, as it’s mostly not seen as such in the velvet underground. Anyway, isn't that what femdom, among other things, is aiming at? To be extreme, to explore boundaries, to go over the edge, to refuse limits and replace them by horizons, to go there where lust is driving us but fear is trying to hold us back, and at the same time....... control all this? All this not only to drown in the ecstasy of uniting with another human being, to get lost together in what i’ve called the Singularity, but also as a means to break for good with vanilla paradigms, protocols, values, morality, and traditions. To maintain my disconnection/independence from this utterly debilitating world, and to keep myself on the alert for its seductive and foul nature, is paramount in my life!

A friendly suggestion for the dommes (ugh…..toedeloe…..) who read this, including that bunch of ultra strict dames entertained by Sara on his site, who might be contemplating to brand their spouse, hubby, subbie, or whatever creature. Try to get a branding urself first! I mean, b4 going to brand the love of ur life eh? To get the feel of it! To experience the reality of what u soon r going to do to him. Wouldn't that be exciting, lovely, and a true sign of being on top? Oh, come on ladies. Don’t u live by the Golden Rule? Or r u simply a disgusting coward, who expects her slave to suffer things u urself don’t have the stomach for?

Hmmm, let me help u to bravely step over the darn branding-threshold, and to dominate ur silly fear, oh Dommes of the 21st century. Think of it this way: To carry the name of ur property on ur delicate and sexy body, now wouldn't that be something? I mean forever! And wow, what about if u would have more than one slave eh? Yeah, think of that! Remember those old Wild West Machos? The ones who carved an X (or whatever) into the butt-end of their rifles every time they had killed an Indian or another living being? Doesn’t that make ur adrenaline levels peak? Doesn't that want u to order ur slave to run to ur local branding store, to buy some delicious branding equipment and, after his return, immediately proceed with a couple of branding sessions, with the branding of his name (or initials, hehe) on that hungry body of urs as the main event of the day? And to show same off, on the beach, in ur club, during a pta meeting, to ur parents, to ur cuckold husband when ur r fucking ur boss, on Facebook.....oh my…….aaaahhhhhh!

But u know what i think? U will never do it. U will never brand ur slave. At best i only can see u do it via the hand of someone else. Then brag about it. Why is that? Cos u r not a femdom! U only talk about it. U only write stories about it. Silly stories about humiliation, orgasm denial, spanking, cuckolding, etc. Blog after blog after blog. And feel great about it too, cos u think others see u now as the one who’s in control. And they do. They see u like that indeed. Or want to see u like that. They admire u. They adore u. But only cos they r story tellers as well, can’t do without ur paper adventures, no matter the quality, no matter how repetitive they may be, and cos they must have ur support in return.

U say u love ur slave? U have a relationship with him? Even one which is growing deeper and deeper each and every day of ur life? Not only during the weekend, or when the kids r at school? Urs is a 24/7/365 one, characterized by passion and unquestionable slavery? I don’t think so. I tell u what, u ultimate domme, goddess, mistress, u silly self proclaimed domina on ur ridiculous throne: U don’t love him. U hate him. U always have. U can’t stand up to him, contaminated as u r with all kinds of patriarchal ideas and values u can’t urself get rid of. It's eating u. It's driving u crazy. It's crushing ur ego. U need a scapegoat. U need someone to blame for ur failure to stand tall, to make a stance, and to refuse to mop the floor. U want to take revenge on him for all that, and more. But u r way to weak for that. U r not capable of seducing a real macho to do ur bidding. U r not able, and way too vanilla, to force a man like that into slavery, and fully own him. That’s why u mingle with the vanilla sissies and the ones who secretly long for a life under the rule of a femdom, but lack the guts to make that happen. They don't even try. Only online they show some bravery by coming out of their virtual closet. Oh yes, some come out of their r/l closet as well, in the safety of their homes, trying to seduce women like u to fulfill their fantasies, promising u the world, if only u would be willing to give them some corner time for not properly having done ur floor, or something equally banal. These men r like u. Bragging wannabes. Still, u want to make them look even more tiny, cos u r too small urself. U say that’s not true? U r the real stuff? Then brand him!

Change

2011-02-11T23:04:00.000-08:00

With all the turmoil going on in Egypt now, i noticed that many people believe this uprising is yet another example of great things to come. Things will turn for the better now. My dear friend Rita is one of those, filled with hope and anticipation. The other day she wrote a blog about this, accompanied by some fine videos.

So finally we r on our way to a better world? Finally we entered an era in which we will defeat despotism, dictatorship, vanilla slavery, corruption, indifference, egoism, war, etc? Finally we’ll taste the sweetness of freedom, solidarity, harmony, democracy, and feel all like brothers and sisters embracing each other in joy and happiness? Yep, that’s what many believe, or want to believe. And yes, it was and is a long time dream of many humans. A dream dreamt through many ages. A great dream indeed. A fabulous one even. One to go after. One, which beyond the shadow of a doubt, is worthy to become our quest and goal in life. One to fight for, and to die for.

Zillions of people who came b4 us, followed that dream. Indeed many died for it. And in vain! Looking at the world today, i don’t see this dream became reality. Not by a long shot. Billions of people r still suffering in poverty. Billions r still living in fear. Billions never tasted freedom.Many rot in the prisons of tyrants for simply having an opinion deviating from the prescribed norm. Many have to work in horrible environments and against terrible wages, to provide us, the privileged ones, with products we don't really need. No, the dream was never fulfilled!

How is this possible? How come so many great people, who truly believed they fought for the right cause, failed?

There were uprisings, revolts, and revolutions, throughout the history of mankind, and none of them ever brought the change people so dearly wished for and desired. Oh sure, there were some short periods of enlightenment now and then. But they all eventually vanished, like an abandoned path in the jungle.

The French and Russian revolution had major impact u say? Yeah right. Just look at those countries now, and the spin off these mass movements had and have on our togetherness nowadays. Oh, in case u want to do a little research urself, educate urself, and not simply take my word on this, go for instance here.

Large groups of people will never bring the change u r fighting for Rita. As long as the individual person doesn't demand (that’s right, demand, and not only willing) to be held solely accountable for her/his actions, hasn’t created an inner drive to be responsible for him/herself, and as long as she/he needs a leader, a messiah, a guru, a hero, or a deity, things will stay the same. Holy democracy can only live up to its promise, when the members of it will stand tall for the integrity, rights, and interests of the members of its minorities, when they will stop preaching that might makes right, and will erase that horrible and debilitating idea, that the majority is the only anchor and only standard in such society.

So, like i lectured many times b4, group movements will never bring the changes we dream of. It will only bring us shifts in power. History should have made that clear by now. Even great men like Emiliano Zapata, once in power, had to deal with the foul taste of corruption. At least he was one of the few who corrected himself. Most leaders will not! Learn from it for a change. Don’t continue to fall into the trap that “teamwork” will do it! Only individuals can bring change, by changing themselves and being a role model, or to allow coming to the surface that what was hibernating deep down in their soul for a long time already, but was suppressed by cowardice and the norms and values in force in their community. In the beginning it always will be on a small scale. But it will spread. Like oil on water. Each and every one of us has this potential. It’s one of our good traits. But we need a tremendous amount of courage to honor and exploit that trait, as there will be an enormous amount of resistance to change as well. I can tell from plenty r/l first hand experiences. Even here, in silly Cyberspace, there r people who r trying to silence me, to slander me, or, like it is done now for instance with my blog “Snippets II” and a few other caliente ones, boycott me (grin). Others don’t even dare to comment on my blogs, afraid as they r for losing their “friends” if they would. So they write to me in private, lol.

Often the actions of the majority will overwhelm us, make us doubt and question our own intentions, values, goals, and even the core of our being. Then we will let go, chicken out, and again follow the majority and its power hungry leaders, on their insane road of more of the same. Then, the dream will become a nightmare.

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I just saw on the news: “Egypt is free. Egypt is free”. Well, we’ll see. In the meantime, remember this one? And what became of it?