Sunday, May 30, 2010

This Time.....

This time
I won’t hold back
My anger
And rage

This time
I will come for u
Expose ur ugliness
For all to see

This time
I won’t go soft
Or dwell
In doubt

This time
I will make u suffer
A beggar for life

This time
I won’t give in
Or choke
In guilt

This time
I will grind u
To pulp
A mess on the floor

This time
I won’t hesitate
Nor accommodate
My fear

This time
I will rip u apart
Burn ur soul
Without remorse

This time
I won’t reconsider
Or regret
My cruel act

This time
I will finish u off

This time i won’t seek refuge
In vanilla morals
Nor will i seek rest
With foul friends

This time is mine
And mine alone
While urs will end
In agony


  1. I sure am glad that poem aint aimed at the first song and video Miss Ayesha but the second one i couldnt help but wonder if you where giveing the piano lessons..the little girl looks terrified..sure you aint standing over her with your rideing

  2. Although this poem leaves the possibility open for multiple interpretations, a major one would be, the crushing and elimination of that part of me which keeps me from going completely with what i've called MyEgo, a description of which can be found, among other virtual places, elsewhere on this site. Another one would be my quest to finalize my disconnection with the vanilla world, or to go down more severely on it.

    I uploaded the ‘little girl video’, cos she’s playing one of the most emotional parts of “The New World Symphony”, symbolizing not only my craving for a new world, but also my belief that no other than little girls like this one, have the potential to create one. When i hear and see her playing, it moves me more than when listening to established piano stars playing the same piece.

  3. Finalize you disconnection to the vanilla world, or go down more severely upon it? Sometimes I get the feeling you are a big fat dramatic liar living in a fantasy world.

  4. And what kind of feelings do u get all the other times when anonymously cruising my site?

  5. That you are for the most part a liar overall. I think you live vicariously through this online persona of yours; it's a dumb game. That's my feeling... been watching for a long time. ;-)

  6. My way of living often surpasses the comprehension of ordinary vanilla and mainstream d/s people. Needing to alleviate the inevitable confusion, irritation, and other negative feelings which come with same, these people rarely consider the possibility that although feminine femdom doesn’t fit into their frame of reference or comfort zone, it nevertheless could exist. To find an easy way out of this situation, they rather declare me a liar etc.

    On top of that, too many of them don’t even realize that, in an attempt to rescue what’s left of their fragile self-esteem, they also r projecting their own negative personality traits onto me. This is especially true for those who cowardly need to stay anonymous when delivering their poor assessments. It partly explains also why they can’t stay away, and keep on visiting my site lol. A sad, as well as a laughable phenomenon, and very widespread indeed.

  7. I might be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but i happen to know you're full of shit, ayesha, and I have a very good source... i'll leave you to figure out what that source is, of course, of course.

    And please. This has nothing to do with people not believing in femdom. That's a red herring and you know it. All you have to do is point your browser to certain places online or visit certain social events in the city to know its not just fiction. So enough with that.

    My comments have to do with YOU and the integrity of your character. You are a creep, and the black and green motif of your blog is very fitting.

    Seriously, instead of seeing links to unrelated shit, evil poems and reading negative rants about this or that, let's see some more pictures of yourself. Let's see some video, even. Let's see image of your actual life. You know... this life you claim to lead? Where is it?

  8. Uncertainty is killing huh? So many wanted, want, and will want me to prove myself. Seems they have a gnawing need to know for certain if Ayesha is really the person as she's presenting herself in here, or not. I always wondered why, as i myself couldn't care less about the real identity (whatever THAT is, lol) of any onliner (and certainly not of those 'anonymous' ones). It also leaves me stone cold if virtual people believe me, or not.

    So pulleeezz, don't ever give me the benefit of ur doubt. Instead, keep enjoying the image u have of me. Cherish it, and feed ur fantasies. Could come in handy the next time u r in need of calling someone names.

    Juicy detail: The few times i was interested in face to face contact with an onliner, they mostly came up with an avalanche of excuses to avoid same, and in the end........ran into the opposite direction, rofl.

  9. Translation: I won't prove I'm real because I can't, but I'll just chalk the whole internet up to 'virtual people', and slide by on that.

    That worked in the nineties but not in 2010.

  10. Typical response of onliners when things r not going their way. Kindergarten stuff.

    Anyway, as i'm not in favor of censoring people, even when it concerns cowards like u, whose only purpose in Cyberspace is to slander and foul mouth others, i’ve let u contaminate my site for a while. But that's over now. Ur next comment on this will go to the trashcan.

    Btw, not that this would be of much importance, but ur effort to stay in anonymity wasn't very successful. I'll leave it to u to figure out how i would know, lol. Just for u to know eh?

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  12. Like i said: "...this poem leaves the possibility open for multiple interpretations...". but urs is not what i meant to come across.

    "Poetry is not meant to be real"? Ok, dwell in that. But for me, when it's not rooted in reality and personal experiences, it's not poetry, but just a bunch of words, expressing melodramatic and boring bowel movements of the composer. Read my blog: "Static Poetry".

  13. If you want reality, write prose. Prose is the photograph, faithfully reproducing life. Poetry is the painting, giving an impression of life.

    If not, then why bother?

  14. Hmmm, Arcadian removed his comment, and now i should bother about the lecture from an anonymous person? Tsss....tsk.

    Oh....and just for the record, here's what Arcadian posted on July 21, 2010, at 08.15 am:

    >>>>> Poetry is not meant to be real, but fanciful and symbolic, Ms Ayesha. I understand what the verse is trying to convey, not an actual destruction, but a virtual one, which the Superior (You) visits on her submissive inferior. It's a symbolic destruction of defiance or obstinance, so that when the inferior breaks down under the pressure, the Superior is vindicated and rules in the end.

    I believe the female is the dominant gender and will eventually rule the world, just as the Ancient Order was once and will be restored in theis century, which will be called "The Century of the Woman". <<<<<<

  15. U r absolutely right, and shouldn't waste any more time here. Instead do something productive. So, go and shit into ur hands, mold ur dung into some neat medium sized balls, and stick them into ur mouth. Then, chew, chew, chew, and swallow.

  16. And then when you poop it out, you get...Ayesha!

  17. Of the 70,817 citizens, who r living there with u , not many sank as low as u did.