Monday, September 28, 2009

The Witty People

It’s amazing how many witty people there r online. Especially in guestbook sections one can encounter this breed by the zillion. Always cheerful, alert, sharp, and of cors full of………wit. And mind u, they r never as cynical or sarcastic like urs truly. Oh no! They would hate to be like that. On the contrary, these people r always in a good mood, absolutely positive, and ready to get u out of the rut if ur in it. Not that they would care about ur rut, but they just can’t stand to be in the company of others who have a bad day or so. So out of the rut u go. Instantly. No bad things allowed. Period. U really feel down and out, miserable, and in tears u say? To hell with u! They don’t care. U r a danger to their mood. U r a pest. That’s what u r. How come u even dare to tell u feel off! Life is way too short for being down. Up u go, whether u like it or not. Down is out. Wit is in. Even when it’s lousy, slimy, or stinky, it’s in! Keep that in mind loser!
Wit goes up to a next level when it appears in a blog. It’s called humor then. Not that i would know, or diagnosed it as such, but i was told it was. Not all humor is created by the Witty People themselves tho. Oh no, far from it. Respected scholars, scientists, and statistical gurus found that at least half of it belongs to other jokers. It seems to be hilariously witty and laughable common to steal, steal and steal some more. U say that’s wrong? Muahahahahahaha!!! Come on, where have u been? This is the 21th century people. The century of progress, and shaaaaaaaaaaaaring. As long as it is witty, gets a good laugh, and is dripping from humor, who’d give a shit about giving credit to the witty one who came up with it in the first place, who wrote that joke, story, or lyrics. Old fashioned crap that. Today's morals r much better. Way more witty too. The internet is free u know, u can take what u want. It’s urs. All of it.

Some of the Witty People, r a class apart. Not that they would be more classy than the ordinary witty ones, or their talents would earn them a separate classroom in the school of life, but cos they r exceptional sensitive to wit and humor coming their way as a reaction to their witty productions. Not that they would object u being witty on other people’s sites, no no no, they even welcome that, and would eagerly join u in outwitting a third party. But on their page? Geeeez, who do u think u r? A Witty One? Don’t u ever dare to criticize these chosen ones, or u will be sorry! U will be condemned, and censored in awfully cruel ways. Ur messages, comments, no matter how witty or humorous the may be, will be removed, deleted, crushed, and trampled by them instantly, and to make things worse, u will be removed from their list without mercy! So consider urself duly warned now. Don’t go where i went, and will go hereafter again and again. I’m a lost case u know. I’m addicted to provoke and tease the Witty People. I’m their prisoner so to say. I can’t help myself anymore. But u can! U r still free. Be wise, and never disturb the Witty People with ur silly wit or state of the art humor! Just adapt, and agree. Oh, and praise them. Tell them how wonderful they r. Yes, flood them with praise. Swamp them with adoration. Make them a pedestal, a throne, a sewer. That will do it. That will secure ur stay on their crappy site.

I can’t resist to tell u about a not so recent adventure of mine regarding the subject at hand. But i won’t tell u the name of this Witty One, cos it was Jenna, a former Yahoo 360 friend, who later became one of my critics, and although she once told me she wanted to be my slave, never had the courage to meet me r/l. Anyway, at that time, she posted a story about world history in a condensed form. Beer and the invention of the wheel, were the most important landmarks of mankind (as if anybody didn’t know!). The intriguing part was this one: In the end there were two (only 2 eh) kind of people, namely conservatives and liberals. Conservatives r of cors the productive ones in society, while liberals r only goofing off, and living from the good thing these great conservatives were providing for. In short: Conservatives? Yeah......applause! Liberals? Yuck…..r u kidding me?

Btw, to keep things in their right perspective, i should mention that Jenna embraces conservatism. Also that she’s constantly trying to be witty. Something we rarely see with conservatives these days.

While the story by itself was quite entertaining, witty and humorous, it wasn’t hers. She….. um….. well ….. ok …….. borrowed it

Here’s my second comment on it, as my first one was removed very quickly, as was of cors the second one, rofl.

Caramba, i could swear i posted the following already! But as Yahoo's ways r a bit inscrutable these days, here's a repost, as i know u wouldn't want to miss this for the world. Ok, okay, a tiny part of it (sigh).
In their relentless quest to at least be seen as conservative sons and daughters of the ancient ones, nowadays conservatives want to produce at least something too. Lacking the creativity of named ancient ones tho, they created copy/paste, and r copying/pasting ever since.
The liberals? I’m not sure, but according to modern day scriptures found by conservative archeologists in the hidden cellars of the Watergate Barn, they too r desperately copying/pasting, but only material that was copied/pasted by the conservative ones already.

U might ask: “What on earth r these liberated conservatives and conservative liberals copying/pasting all the time?” The answer is: “Stuff from The Other People”.

Of cors without even having the slightest idea of who The Other People r!

Witty huh? And was gone (sob sob) 

Keep on smiling folks. Behold, be careful with ur humor tho!

I really love this vid, hehehe.

Friday, September 25, 2009

In the Name of.............

It’s said a lot: In the name of God, justice, national security, Jesus, the Fatherland, friendship, peace, the king, the Holy Ghost (er….. Spirit, ), love, science, the other ( as defined by Finkelkraut), honor, the law, human rights, nature, progress, freedom, ……….well u name it.

I’ve decided to dedicate a few words to this phenomenon. I picked some of the subjects mentioned above, to pester u with my thoughts, spread out over several blogs, all recognizable by the same intro-collage (a real beauty this time), but carrying a different number. A video (at times more than one) expressing my feelings and illustrating the prose i wrote, will also be uploaded.

Of cors, i could have done all and everything in one giant blog, but knowing how busy, impatient, and lazy some of u r, i refrained from such action, honoring at the same time ur limited span of attention.

R u still with me? Ok, here goes # 1.


From early childhood i remember i had lots and lots of friends. After school, my parents’ house was almost always filled with them till dark. I was taught what friends were for, and how i should cherish them, no matter what, as friendship was golden. And so it happened i did a lot of foolish things in the name of friendship, even blundered occasionally. Many times i covered for them, when they were totally wrong. Many times i fought their battles, when they were lacking the courage to defend themselves. Many times i took the blame for their unruly behavior. Yeah, I was one of those who came in and stayed, when all others were leaving. I did all this with a conviction worthy a better cause, as i learned during the years that friendship often was not a two-way street, and more than once is kept alive out of egoism, fear, and dogma.

Passing on to my teens, i wrestled with my upcoming sexuality, which differed considerably from what i was taught about it by good willing authority figures, experiences told to me by my friends, and my disgust for the vanilla world, where too many had made it their calling and quest, to gently force me to accept their way of living. The more i battled and criticized these guardians of culture, these carriers of ultimate wisdom, the less gentle, and more violent they became. My friends tried, in the name of friendship of cors, to convince me too, that i was on the wrong track. Slowly but surely they left/abandoned me. I was no fun and too weird, i wanted too much from them, i worried way too often, and was slandered when i showed them how rotten their friendship actually was, when the heat was on, or when they truly had to sacrifice something in the name of friendship.

Long b4 my eighteenth birthday, i mingled with people who belonged to what some r calling the velvet underground. Troubled vanillas usually use the term "kinky" for members of that world, especially when gossiping about people with my sexual preferences, or others whose sexual behavior they r afraid of. To my surprise, i soon discovered that, when it comes to friendship, the kinky ones actually don’t differ much from the vanilla crowd. Hypocrisy all around. Yes, sure, of cors u r my friend, but only when u scratch my back. And mind u, u must always be there for me. So that’s what friends r for? Really? Gee, i hate friendship. I’m sick and tired of it.

More years past, i traveled the world, met zillions of people, went through glory and hardship, suffered physically as well as mentally, experienced passions i never thought possible, tried to live in the name of friendship again and again, honoring an avalanche of definitions of same, and mostly fell flat on my face.

Then, one day, in my mid thirties, completely tabula rasa, i innocently wandered into Cyberspace. Such horror! The place was infested with friends. Like cockroaches they inhabited even the remotest corners of the ever expanding virtual universe, i.e. social networks ruled by greedy vanilla corporate empires, screaming “I love you”, “I will always be there for you”, "I will have your back", and all the other clichés (including stolen sugar coated poetry) i had to absorb r/t ad nauseam already. Yuck, yuck, yuck! And u know what? It was applauded, as if it was real, as if it was meant, as if it had substance. Well maybe this caricature friendship is uplifting to some, is what some seek in their life, but it’s not for me.

Sure, i met a few men and women in here, who had thoughts like i had on the matter, and that was great. But they too were mostly unable to keep up with me. Granted, i’m not an easy one. I love to provoke, to put people to the test, and to challenge even the most sincere and strong ones. Guess that comes with my territory, huh? But mostly our friendship wrecked, cos i rocked their boat too much, cos in the end they too were looking for harmony, for a rosy world without conflict or antagonism, where lovers and friends r resting in each others arms, even when they want to go out jogging. Caramba, even within the realm of femdom they expected that! Yep, that’s what recreational slaves want. That’s their utopia. That’s what friends r supposed to be. Not that they ever would admit this, or even would consider the possibility, lol. For that they were way too angered by my behavior, and never expected me to criticize them after so many exciting exchanges of thought, after having been on the same wavelength for so long. Suddenly not agreeing, was too damn shocking. The ordeal to discover i was not the friend they thought i was, made me an enemy.

Oh btw, ever noticed that ur friends rarely stand by u publicly, when there’s a conflict or collision with others? Only when u and they belong to the same clique or something, some bravery is shown at times. For the rest u r alone. Gives significant substance to: “I will always be there for u” no? Rofl. And let me tell u: Beware of those who vow they will have ur back, as they never will.

So what to do? I still felt friendship could be of value.

Albert Camus once wrote: L’amour est injustice, mais la justice ne suffit pas (love is injustice, but justice doesn’t suffice). And so it is with friendship. Contrary to what many preach and believe, love and friendship r twins. That’s right......twins! That's what i had learned during my travels. Maybe not identical ones, but still twins. Ok, u wisecracker: cousins. Both should be driven by passion, and not by dogmas, rules, rigid expectations, or boring cultural paradigms. That way, love and friendship, and also friendship and love, can be fantastic, something to pursue for the rest of ur life, something u never would want to be without.

Welcoming also (not only accepting ), that friendship and love, and also love and friendship, can be harsh, utterly annoying, devastating, and incorporating even the desire to kill ur beloved one(s) and dearest friend(s) sometimes, will be the icing on the cake. Admitting, that i was able, capable, and wishing at times to destroy even the closest soul mate, soul slave, and soul sister, set me free from all the superficial nonsense about love and friendship that the adorers of harmony and coercion tried to implant in my belief system.

Yes, i will be there for my friends. But not in the name of friendship! And yes i will slap them, mock them, and make them feel miserable, when i believe they deserved it. But i will not call them names. I will not belittle them. I will not humiliate them. I will not dismiss them. I will not slam the door into their face. And i certainly will not abandon them.

Come to think of it...........friendship and femdom r twins as well.

Monday, September 21, 2009

World Healers? Yuck!

The self proclaimed radicals, the socially moved ones, the knitters of new world orders, the ones with holy quests for creating a better world for all, to at least save the planet, and to save us poor ignorant from all eternal evil, r never resting, and r at it again. It will never stop. It’ll always continue as long as there r people who believe in universal solutions, systems, and saviors. Fanaticism at its best is in session everywhere, trying to indoctrinate, to brainwash, to convince, and to suck up people like a vacuum cleaner, promising them happiness, peace, tranquility, everlasting love, and a few other adored clichés, as long as they’re willing to unconditionally embrace and submit to the slogans, generalities, and camouflaged vomit, these false prophets, gurus, pastors, and predators on human desperation r spreading around, simultaneously contaminating the planet they vowed to honor and save.

Better never resist or ridicule their messages, as all havoc will break loose, and u’ll be doomed forever. Yeah, they can only love and save u, if u do their bidding. They need u, u know. Without u, these strong, determined believers of change, hope, and positive thinking, will end up on a pile of garbage or in a sewer system, shrinking to mutant mental dwarfs, and helpless victims of their own medicine.

A few months ago, i was confronted with this depressing filth, on another blog, belonging to a lady i cherish, a woman of great insight, with an incredible drive to give original content to her life. This time it touched a concept i’m using to describe the intensity, uniqueness, and purity, of my sexual encounters, which i've called, the singularity. A singularity which can be repeated, but always in a new and oribal way, never seen b4! A concept which is unique in itself. A concept unspoiled, clean, and radiating health, like the waters of the second Ice Age. Now, parasites and gollums r trying to strip it from its essence, and to bring it down to their own pitiful levels of weakness. This angered me, so i commented on same, ventilating my rage, intolerance, anger, contempt, and hate, i hold for these slimy creeps. Here it is, in its raw and unedited form. More of the same, actually, lol.


Now even the concept, known as the singularity, has become a target, and under attack of the silly ones, the righteous ones, the weak & needy ones, the conservative in disguise ones, the artificial free & semi brave ones, in short, the new disciples of a rotten new freedom, decomposing healing practices, nauseating salvation, and obnoxious fresh authorities. Soon it will be raped from its essence, like it was done to democracy, love, honesty, loyalty, friendship, and femdom. Bah!

And what was their definition of time again? Time moves in a circle? Do i understand this well? Time exists without human influence? It’s an entity by itself? Maybe an independent process? Hahahahaha!! These people r only replacing the stupidity of the ones they despise, by their own dogmas, rites, rituals, and protocols, afraid as they r for life itself. They always need answers, they always need labels, they always need explanations, they always need definitions, they always need to make something holy & sacred, they always need some kind of savior, a leader, a messiah, and they always need others to confirm what they’re doubting themselves. But.....they never live, they never come to terms with their fears, they never practice what they're preaching, and never can stand alone! Lmfao!!


I say, DOWN with them, these simple minded world healers embedded in slime and bad breath. Trample them into the ground, into the mud. To the sewer with them, That's where they belong, crushed, ripped apart, to never rise again!

Ahhhhh, i feel better already. U too?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Femdom...........a chat

Some time ago, when Yahoo 360 was still around, i was chatting with a man who was looking to become a slave to a woman. He seemed quite serious about this, but nevertheless belonged to the cohorts, infected by the never ending saga of mainstream d/s, where femdom is mostly seen as some service to the male gender, whether paid for, or practiced free of charge, during munches, in fetish clubs, or simply when the 9 – 5 chores r done, in places hidden from the kids. As i stated many times b4, there’s nothing wrong with that, if u r in the league of recreational players, or too afraid to really become a slave. Slavery is only for a few. And even they run occasionally into problems with me.

The slave in statu nascendi i was referring to, wanted it all. Yes sir, all of it! Well, that’s what he said, although the demanding little voice of MyEgo whispered to me: “Ayesha dear, he doesn’t know what he is talking about.” And u know, she’s right. She’s always right. Well, most of the times eh? At times i have to disagree with her. But only for not losing control over the brat. She’s a wild one, who wants me to do things to people, which make even me shiver.

Back to my hungry prospect now. Geeez, i’m so easily distracted, when writing a blog, about something i already wrote so many times about. But that’s me, no discipline whatsoever! Anyway, back to him, i must say, although he’s a rookie, yes very much so, i loved the way he was struggling with his tendencies, and also his background, which was the military. Hmmmm, come to think of it, i never asked him if he ever was under fire, or only a soldier at ease and peace, safely programming battles in the barracks, or worse, in the plush offices of Nato headquarters, lol. The ones who r familiar with my background, know that military women and men, who were exposed to what they were trained for, enjoy a special place in my heart.

I won’t give away his name nor Yahoo-ID, and leave it up to him, if he’d ever read this blog, to react and/or reveal himself to the public here, or not.

As i’m convinced, there r a few shy ones lurking around here, lacking the courage to ask me more specific about my way of living, even fearing my answers, i decided to transfer some (edited) crucial lines of our private dialogue to this blog. That way some of them could also come to their senses, b4 approaching me with the desire to join me and my crew on the wild side of feminine femdom for the rest of their days
Oh……btw…… u’ll notice how many times i ‘m repeating myself to get my message through, as this one, no matter how serious and willing he came across to me, is very hardheaded and a rather poor listener, hindered as he is by a bunch of vanilla paradigms, larded with mainstream bdsm axioms, and infected with male logic and Cartesian rationalism.

Well……….here goes. Finally!
During our chat the other day, and from what u could have deducted from what u read on my 360 page, i wonder if it became clear to u, that i'm not dwelling in the land of frustrated housewives, men hating lesbians, pro-dommes, and other part-timers, claiming to have a passion for femdom. I disconnected myself from the vanilla world, and all of its ‘kinky’ variants, a very long time ago, only mingling with its citizens, organizations, and institutions, when i see fit to exploit and use it for my daily chores, travel, business, etc. I created my own world, a feminine femdom world, within which there is no place for vanilla protocols, rites, laws, rules, clichés, and other banalities like fetish parties, and training cq educating of ‘slaves’, enfin all the things i wrote about already in named 360 blogs.

I told u, i’m not looking for slaves in Cyberspace. As a matter of fact, i’m not looking at all. When i meet someone i want to own, i just take him/her. With me there r no negotiations, building relationships, contracts, or whatever seems to be common in vanilla d/s circles. U should have picked this up by now as well. With me it’s a one way road. A slave has no vote.

The mere fact, that u r searching for a domina, shows how far u r from my way of living. Women like me r not to be found. U have to wait, till she makes u her own. I know, this is very difficult for the eager to be ‘enslaved’ ones, but there’s no other way within the realm of feminine femdom. Therefore, for the majority of these hungry ones, it’s best to stay with the stock of cardboard dungeon exploiting pro’s, and good willing submissive females, who give in to the desires and wishes of their friends, and spouses, to play the role of a domina. To go all the way, is only for a few. Males and females alike.

Tip for ur quest: Anybody, who uses prefixes like goddess, empress, mistress, etc etc, and worse, putting in front of those an adjective like for instance, evil, cruel, strict, etc etc, is not passionate about femdom as a way of living, and not to be taken seriously. Forget also the ones, who insist to write W/we, Y/you, or any other use of silly caps. At best, women like that, r willing to play, or have commercial purposes. Which can be great for the right partners, but not for me.]

See u around ............. (name withheld)

The military man:
Wait, "See u around ........... " sounds too final. Please don't cut it off so quickly (or maybe that was a bad choice of words). Look. I don't understand this lifestyle yet. I've never lived it and I'm just eager to find my place in it. You're giving me insights I hadn't even thought of on my own. I was VERY highly attracted to your profile and I want very much to get to understand you better, so please don't break off contact, which is what "See u around .........." sounds like you're doing. Tell me. How do I make you want me. I can't think of any other way to express it except to say, what do I have to do to make myself worthy of you. Please, just tell me. You were the first dominant woman I contact and there was a reason for that--I was HIGHLY impressed by your profile and got an intuitive feeling that you were probably the right woman to give myself to. If I'm doing dumb things that are turning you off then please guide me and teach me how I can make myself more appealing in your eyes.

Seems to me that whatever i'm telling u about my way of living, is so far fetched for u, that u r not really grasping the essence of it. For instance, the idea that a slave could consider himself a gift, may be adorable in mainstream femdom, but in my world impossible to be taken seriously, as this idea is not only ridiculous, but also mega non-femdom.

I hate teaching, and never was interested to make people more appealing to me, or give them hints for becoming more 'worthy' (what a silly concept too).


The military man:
I guess maybe I don't grasp the essence of your way of living, but if you think that teaching is a silly concept I never will be able to grasp it. I'm not a ready made slave and without things like training and conditioning I'm not going to understand what a woman expects or how to perform for her in the ways that will make me a valuable asset in her eyes. I was under the impression that, like basic training, a Femdom took a slave apart so that she could remold, reshape, and rebuild him in the form that suited her needs the most. You seem to be looking for someone who has already been through that process. So, thank you anyway, but it doesn't appear that I'm right for you. I wish I was, but I'm still just clay and not a finished statue.


"..... a Femdom took a slave apart so that she could remold, reshape, and rebuild......" Indeed the common thought, already lingering for years in mainstream and trendy d/s circles, where 24/7/365 remains only a fantasy. This point of view is a typical '(male)wannabe slave' one too. However, it’s not the truly dominant woman who would want this. It’s the so called slaves who r hungering for this. They seem to have a need for, or getting a kick out of, activities like this. And many women r ready to serve them lol. Femdoms like me tho, r way too lazy to do all that work!

Btw, all the time i hear about training, educating, rebuilding etc etc of slaves, especially the still clay ones like u, and never about the training etc etc of clay femdoms. This really makes me wonder. Hmmmm….. not really, hahaha.

Understand this oh Man of Clay: Femdoms r born, never trained. The same counts for slaves! There is no other way for them. That’s why both r so powerful. Nothing will hold them back. Both r radiating their passion and fate. What they learn, they create themselves. They have no teachers. Both hate laws, rules, and protocols, as well as the silly rites in mainstream bdsm, like for instance, slave positions, safewords, and ways to approach each other. A slave is never submissive. A slave is proud, eager to challenge a femdom, goes boldly after his/her desires, tries to seduce his/her owner, and finds satisfaction in colliding and uniting with her during their sexual encounters. He/she never claims, to only exist for HER, to please HER, to pamper HER, to suffer for HER (caps caps caps….lmao). In fact, a slave is the mirror of a femdom, lol. Just as mean, cruel, driven, egoistic, sexy, seductive, hungry, elegant, stubborn, moody, beautiful, passionate, unfair, erratic, powerful, humorous, revengeful, poisonous, lovable, and always on the road to go beyond the next horizon. The difference is, they operate from a different dimension. In mathematical terms, they both r part of a hyperbola, divided and apart, yet still one Gestalt.

By Lilith, mainstream femdom is soooooooo booooooooooring.


And then, he vanished, silently, without a trace. Vanilla slaves do that u know? Once they feel their desires r not answered instantly, once they realize the woman they approached is not willing to pamper their needs, or is not eager to guide them to the promised DommeLand, they disappear. Few depart in silence. Most go leaving behind a truckload of curses, threats, foul language, slander, and accusations, showing what great slave material they actually r :).

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Does it make any difference to u when comparing, let’s say, pulling on a pair of crotch high patent leather boots, zipping up a pair of high heeled kh’s, or letting an incredibly skyscraper heeled pump dangling from ur foot, to lacing up a pair of sneakers, walking around in flip flops, or trying out ur new office flats? What u say? U don’t own any footwear with 5 or 6 inches? U couldn’t care less for dancing in pain in the ass thigh highs? And rain boots u only wear in the rain? To keep ur feet dry? Really? Riding boots u never wear when visiting ur local mall, or driving to ur hair stylist? Come on, r u kidding me? Never? Then this blog is not for u. This blog is not for the sensible ones, not for those who r addicted to healthy toes and walking this planet only the agreed upon natural way (whatever that may be, sigh), ergo, not for the birkenstock & dr scholl’s aficionados, nor for the ones who r driven by functionality. It is for people like me. The shoe and boot freaks. The ones who know that wearing extreme heels, is not damaging to our feet/legs as long as we know how to handle them. And even if it was, we would never give in to sound advice. We would take the risk, no matter what. It’s the natural thing u know, doing the stupid thing, as long as it’s exciting, turning us on, and making other women green with envy.

With me it’s not just any boot, any pump, or any material. I’m very picky in general, but when it comes to footwear, it’s almost pathological. For instance, i can’t stand platforms of more than an inch thick, and i hate buckles and other decorations on boots. My boots should be simple, not too tight fitting, and never made of cheap latex. I can’t imagine myself walking around in pink boots either. My color is black. They can be gleamy, shiny, or not, but preferable blacker than the blackest of black. Of cors, i love red boots as well, especially the ones with cuban heels. White ones sometimes, when wearing a black velvet dress, or a black midi skirt combined with a white silk blouse. And i wouldn’t want to exclude dark blue boots from my collection. But pink ones? Don’t make me laugh. Yuck, bah, never!

There should be enough space for me to be able to put my finger between my leg and the top of my boot. Comes in handy too when wanting to stick my riding crop into the shaft. I make an exception for really crotch high boots, which should end snugly against my buttocks. I can get so horny eh, when moving around the house in those, the tops r touching the suburbs of my pussy, rubbing same in a most exciting cadence. Sometimes it really gets me. Then i’m going out, wearing nothing underneath, just for having that feeling of boot leather against the soft tissue of my pleasure zone.

Some say, wearing boots makes a person (feel) more powerful. Well, not in my case. It may be true that people who r not dominant, but rather weak or insecure, derive some extras from the boots they’re wearing, and also may give them more authority over others, but with me it’s the other way around. A boot gets something extra from me when encasing my leg and foot. When someone else is wearing the same boot, it looks completely different on her. Unless of cors her personality matches mine. I truly believe i’m transferring part of my drive to dominate and my energy to my footwear, making same unite with me, and becoming one with me. Exactly as what happens when i'm having a sexual encounter with my slaves. When that happens, there r no distinctive entities anymore. Just one Gestalt. Some may have difficulties to grasp the essence of this. So here’s a simple metaphor: Picture me from a distance, riding my favorite horse during the final stages of sunset, speeding along the beach. U know and understand rationally there must be two entities, i and my horse, but the two r so glued together, so united, that u only see one. Ergo, i and my footwear become one. Many women, and certainly men, r unable to share my experience. Which, among other things, explains why some women never look sexy in boots, and very often even look sloppy in them.

Riding boots r special to me. I mean the rubber ones. Of cors i own leather rb’s too, but i hardly wear them, as i found them either too stiff when new, or too wrinkled after having been broken in for a while. I hate wrinkles like that. In particular when dust accumulates in them. And the ones which have laces make me puke. But ah the rubber ones. They r so deliciously supple and fold marvelously around my ankle area when bending my feet into a more vertical position. For instance, when shoving the toe of my boot into the mouth of a slave, making him/her 'deep'throating' the thing. I love to combine rrb’s with a chic evening gown when visiting an opera house or so. The looks i get then? Hilarious! Formal riding gear is nothing for me. To me gear like that is laughable, belonging to people thriving on protocols, rites, and traditions. When riding a horse, i’m mostly in jeans, boots, a t-shirt or sweater. Never wearing a cap or helmet either. And when riding, all alone, high up in snowy mountains, i get a kick out of only wearing those boots with a long fur coat and my hair cascading to my waist.

I could go on and on telling u about my footwear. I could tell u how i love to inhale the sweaty air coming out from a rubber boot after having worn same around the clock, even days at a stretch. I could tell u, how i’m letting my slaves drink my piss out of my pumps. I could tell u about the way i enter a boot heel into the anus and/or vagina of a slave. I could tell u about my hour long walks with Lucinda and Anita through torrential rains, while wearing our macks and waders or (again) black rubber riding boots, making love to each other in the woods during those trips. I could………. Oh come on now, r u not turned on yet? No? Pathological!

From the avalanche of comments resulting from this entry when it was published the first time, i'll give u 3 to read here

Here’s what Stef, one of the sexiest women i've met online, had to say to all this:

Oh dear Ayesha....I couldn't agree more! I have always felt that way about my one ever understands my relationship with my shoes. I'm one of those that buys the shoes first..then finds the outfit to go with them. Always black for me though. I'm liking what you said about red or white though...I'll give it thought.
I could never opt for sensible shoes...I've worked jobs where I stand for 12 to 18 stilletto heels, platforms, thigh high boots, and never complained about pain. It's all in how you carry yourself.
Now the interesting part of it all is that I live in Naples, Florida...where there's never fall or winter seasons. The 110 degree heat index would kill most people in leather knee high boots. I don't care, I never feel the heat or humidity when wearing my boots.
I smiled when reading your blog. Knowing someone else out there feels the same way is lovely.
And I replied:Stef, for some time now, we both feel there is a special bond between the 2 of us. We tried to pinpoint same, and found a few wavelengths we both r on. As of today there's more clarity: We r united in BOOTS! We r sisters in deep dark black leather stiletto heeled boots, ankle high, calf high, knee high, thigh high, crotch high, whatever!
I live in the tropics, where it’s unusual to stroll the streets and avenues in boots and leather as well. Like u, i couldn’t care less, and do as i please. The good thing here? Air-conditioning is as common as central heating is in the cold regions of the planet. Besides, it’s easy for me to go to close by places, where temperatures r much lower, even freezing. As i’m writing this, Bogotá has 63 degrees, cooling off at night considerably, while Merida stands at 73. Higher up in its mountains it’s way lower. As u know, i’m traveling quite a bit sometimes, visiting places like NYC, London, Milano, SF etc. Plenty of opportunities for wearing my boots over there as well this time of the year without having to sop in them. Btw....uhm....Rome, Italy? 50 degrees this very moment, lol! Light rain too. Maybe we should meet there after all (smile).
Good to know u exist Stef.

And Fiona, a true boot bitch from Britain, wrote:
Finally someone who understands boots as much as I do, riding boots with a nice evening gown sounds so sexy and alluring, i'd gladly wear a pair and a gown alongside you
sometimes i love wearing thigh high boots with a leather skirt that finishes somewhere below the knee so they look for all the world just like knee highs..but only i know how far they truely go up
in saying that i don't like when people wear tall boots with jeans or other trousers over them, it defeats the point, also I don't like fabric boots, they look like glorified socks with a heel and sole stuck on em
I find shiney pvs boots, especially if they are thigh high..too trashy, i prefer the dullness of real leather
I myself own no other form of footwear..its 100% boots the lowest i have are a couple of mid calf ones the rest are knee high or over

Then came Katrina, my dear vanilla friend from the Big Apple:

"raises hand" I am always sexy in my sloppy girl here.Oh,and the image of you riding the horse n a snow covered mountain,in nothing but a fur coat,high black boots and lovely long hair whipping in the air turned me on more than anything else that you wrote about.:)
I’ll expect u to wear ur boots together with that black rubber bikini we spoke about! Well, once u found one eh? Come to think of it, would it turn u on as well if the 2 of us would go on horseback, then start speeding along a looooong white sandy seashore located in the southern Caribbean only dressed in unparalleled black rubber bikinis and equally black tall rubber riding boots, and after having enjoyed our daiquiri’s at some idyllic, romantic, hidden under waving palm trees, luxury cottage, would make intense love to each other, while never even have thought of taking our boots off?


She never replied, lol, and kept silent instead. Vanilla people seldom loosen up u know. But i know she would have loved it, hehehe!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Da Rules & Da Dommes

One angle from which one can look at the vanilla world, is its obsession with rules, aka rituals, laws, etiquette, regulations, protocols, u name it. Wherever i went on this planet (and boi did i go places), there were rules. One could easily argue, rules r an addiction, a fetish. Why is that? I think it has something to do with fear of freedom, manifesting itself by avoiding responsibility and seeking ways to camouflage this. Fromm wrote an excellent book on the matter: "Escape from Freedom". Read it!

Now, of cors(!) i would be the last person, to deny the benefits of rules. They can be great tools, when it comes to traffic, water purification, food production, things like that. Rules should be there tho, to free us from restrictions, and not the other way around. More importantly, they should help, to make us more free to grow, free to create, free to develop, free to search, free to conserve, free to choose, and free to enjoy. Alas, this is still a dream. Most rules r restricting, instead of empowering us. Especially in my younger years, when i had to deal with my upcoming feelings of being attracted to female domination, i made that observation.

While living in a patriarchal world, i never had the desire to emancipate, like so many other women around me. What i wanted was to explore my inner powers, my female powers, and not to waste my energy to become equal to males, to evaluate their rules, or to fight for equal rights. And i hated the dress code of those so called liberated women too.

Till this very day i cannot comprehend why females let it happen to them, to be ruled by men, in virtual all aspects of their life, even r siding with them, and defending male rules and viewpoints, even when in contradiction with, and violating their femininity. Oh yes, i know practically all the political, sociological, historical, psychological, cultural, and religious explanations for this phenomenon, but those are mostly male explanations eh? Ergo, not to be considered of any significant value, when it comes to understand the bowel movements of the female soul.

So, i made a choice: No rules for me! I’m the only anchor when making decisions, demanding responsibility for my actions too, and accepting or fighting the consequences, no matter what. B4 any smartass starts roaring now, yep……… i hit the breaks when approaching a red traffic light. Well, most of the times.

To make a short story long, here’s something to memorize . So, keep on reading!

During my university years, i once entered a room full of hotshot scientists, wrestling with some problem they were trying to solve for weeks, however without any progress. I just sat there for a while, carefully listening to the masters. After a while i got bored, and suggested to consult a poet to bring light into the matter. I tell u, i would not be busy typing this blog, if looks could have killed. For them, i was dead meat. I was pure sin. A poet? Get lost Ayesha!! Don't u know, u evil one? We have rules u know! Scientific rules at that. They're superior to anything. Without them, there's no science, no solution, and bla bla bla bla. It's my bet, they never solved that problem.

Later, when a scientific hotshot myself, i spent some time with running a considerable amount of absolutely crazy brainstorm sessions, with a bunch of totally freaked out other scientific hotshots. No time limits, no coffee breaks, no food, no.......rules. It was great. I learned that even the most stupid remark, mega flaming, out of this world stupidity, and even physical violence, can trigger insights beyond belief. And what's even more important, intense communication, unparalleled emotions, feeling close to each other, and fearless risk taking. We were free. Maybe free bitches and assholes, but not polite diplomats in bondage! Freud's Es was on stage, trampling Ich and Ueberich into the mud.

So here we r, a world mainly organized by rules. Male rules as a matter of fact, supported by moron females. In short, the Vanilla World. But.....strangely enough, there’s a yearning among males, to be ruled by women. Or maybe not?

I met plenty males who wanted to grovel for me, to lick the dirt off my boots, to be pissed in their mouth by me, to be whipped by me, to be humiliated by me, me a woman, one belonging to the weaker sex. And i tell u, i kicked, pissed, whipped, spat, whacked, tortured, and humiliated these males to exhaustion. And they loved it. The time came however, i discovered that in fact i was used by them. Like all other women, i went into their trap, having the illusion that i was their mistress, ruling them, while in fact i was acting according to their rules, by pleasing them, by humiliating them, by beating them to pulp etc. And i went into it eagerly, cos i really wanted to be a domina.

All this has changed now, as can easily be deducted from my other blogs.

So here i am, in my world now, without rules, surrounded by women and men, who have no need to cheat on their desires and feelings, who abhor role playing, who can’t imagine anything else, than being themselves, acknowledging at the same time, they only can be like that cos of me, also realizing, if i would want them to change, there’s no other way for them, then to comply.

All this sounds strange to u? Far fetched? Bunch of lies? Fantasy? Fabrication? To good to be true? Let me tell u what i find strange, far fetched, and......hard to accept. It’s hard for me to believe, there exist femdom determined by rules, rules cloned from the patriarch. I can’t believe there r women, claiming to be dominant, who restrict their dominance, by deliberately creating a set of rules, or by submitting to other people’s rules. I can’t imagine femdom, based on abstract morals and ethics. I can’t believe a dominant woman, would ever refer to her slaves as pets. And yet......that’s exactly the case. The 'scene' is infested with women like that. Even in the virtual world, so called Dommes r not only developing rules for their ‘slaves’, but also for themselves. Not true? Lets take a look around.

Just recently i learned that a real Domme (i hate that word), is always composed, never loses her cool, and if, Goddess forbid, she lets herself angered by someone, that someone is controlling her. She never yells, screams, or shouts. I imagine this kind of Domme, sitting in her ivory tower, somewhat bored, faultlessly dressed, affable looking down on the mob far below her, instructing her butler subbies to be quiet, to refrain from all noise, for her not getting a headache or something. I wonder how dames like that deliver a whipping. I mean, without sweating, looking agitated, using dirty language, hair messed up, well...... u know.

Here r a few lines of what one of the Sublime Ones considers a ‘Perfect Domme’. I quote: "The Perfect Domme is a Bright, Bi/Les Woman secure in Herself, in Her needs, in Her desires and in Her pleasures. She knows that it is Her right to be Served in each and every way She chooses. She is comfortable accepting Her role as a Superior being knowing that She gives Her slaves the greatest gift possible; permitting to who they really are (slaves) serving Her every wish." Juicy detail? This one saw the light. For years she was a severe and strict domina, someone i really thought to be a femdom. Then everything changed. Suddenly she discovered her true self, considering herself a true slave now, looking for her Domme. But still teaching, morals, rules, and protocols to Dommes, and lecturing them, when one dares to stray from this newborn slave’s rules, lol.

One more: "She adores all kinds of S/m training of slaves and derives stimulation and pleasure from Her ubiquitous use of them. She is imaginative and creative and becomes stimulated from the physical and mental humiliation of Her slaves."

Of cors i couldn’t skip: "She is, after all, a Goddess, worthy of total commitment from each of Her slaves."

Guess straight women should give up right away? They never could be perfect eh? I should reconsider my future path as well, as i abhor training, humiliation, and certainly don’t consider myself a superior being. Me a Goddess? Lmao!

Btw, noticed the inevitable caps? Major etiquette in DommeLand.

I love this one: "It is not responsible for any Domme to interfere with any subs work, in any way. Any Domme that does not understand that can not call herself a Domme and be taken seriously by anyone." There! I’m disqualified again.

How about this one: "She is responsible for the mental, physical, emotional and sexual welfare of her sub(s), at all times. This fact is set in stone." Hmmmm, sounds to me this Domme is slaving for her slaves. I’m out! Picture it: Slave Tommy wakes up during the night, with an erection. So what does he do? He calls me on my cell, reminding me of my duty, at all times eh, to give him a blowjob or so.

If we enter the realm of Pro-Dommes, it’s no picnic either. B4 anything, it’s a rule of thumb: No sex! Period! What were u thinking u pervert? Don’t u know? Pro-Domination is not prostitution!! Geeez! Furthermore, they tell u they’ll do anything, except ……….. a thousand things. Yep…….pure wild femdom, challenging all rules. No question about it. Rofl.

Then there r the ones who really rule without any limits. Kind of lucha libre in the bdsm bedroom, i’d say. They go all the way, these dedicated lifestylers. They r cruel, mean, and strictly strict. These r the Dommes who only dominate for themselves, who r strutting around in boots with 4" platforms, wearing fetish garb 24/7 only, punishing their slaves via ultra gymnastic boot jobs, while giving a rat’s ass about the desires, wishes, or rules of their subbie hubbies. "U will cum u bastard! Now get into the position pig!". Nevertheless abiding the mainstream bdsm rule of ssc, taught to them during their local club gatherings, munches (oh do i love those), lifestyle conferences, Elise Sutton & company, or Google.

No way i could forget to mention the onliners here. They dominate from afar, via phone, cam, email, keyboards, so on. They force males and females into submission, by giving them harsh tasks to fulfill, sometimes demanding proof by cam. These Dommes enjoy to humiliate their slave by forcing him into panties and heels, b4 he’s ordered to do the dishes in exactly the way he’s told. They stick out their feet, to be licked across the ocean. Don’t ever ridicule their actions, as u will receive a litany of mail, to straighten out ur blasphemy.

Money-Dommes r a special breed, not as complicated as their Free-Domme Sisters. They have only 3 rules. Rule # 1: "Only serious players need to apply". Rule # 2: "Empty ur wallet". Rule # 3: "Don’t waste my time".

The tour ends right here. It’s laughable, ridiculous, and stupid. Also very sad. It’s one thing when women choose to live under male rule, or allow topping from the bottom, but it’s a sad story, when the ones who claim to be femdoms, r cloning a male set of rules to govern the femdom environment. Femdom needs no rules. Femdom equals freedom. A femdom knows how to act and handle things herself, and doesn’t need a safety net, in case something eventually goes awry. She’s her own anchor, lawyer, prosecutor, and judge.

U know what ‘dom’ means in Dutch? It stands for stupid. A Domme would be: A Stupid One, lol!

Does all this matter much? Nah, not really. But u know? It’s one of my rules, to rule against rules occasionally. Besides, i love to sit here, typing a few words, forcing myself to deliver my next rant, and to create a matching collage. Very relaxing that. U should make it one of ur rules as well.

Enjoy the videos. They picture a woman, many Dommes will consider a bitch not to mingle with. Not surprisingly, i believe she’s way more on my wavelength, than the majority of my sisters in d/s. I love her.

Friday, September 11, 2009

HaMa'eiven Yavin

She laughed
As only she could laugh
With passion
So full of life

She was mine
As only she could be
And i was hers….
In a way

The shells came
No shelter
I tasted her blood
The different way

I held her
As only i can hold
And cried
As only she could cry

Not one eye i took
Nor one tooth
My raging grief
Took all there was to take

Their blood
Stained mine and hers
It tasted foul
And bitter

Standing at her grave
In the promised land
My soul went cold
Tears fell on her stone
And froze


The one this poem is dedicated to, was a brave woman named Shirah , only in her early twenties when she died,. The afterlife as i see it, depends on how strong the bond with others was. Although there will hardly be anything left of her physically now, she’s very much alive in my mind. We r connected to this day. Our bond is as strong as it was, when we were making love to each other in the desert, danced in a Haifa disco, or relaxed together at the shores of Yam Ha-melah. I still can feel her touch, i still can hear her voice, and her laugh i will never forget. I expect to meet her more intensely, once i’m dead as well, when i will be less biased and occupied by life. Not in a physical, spiritual, or whatever common way people believe there is after life, but more like an encounter of memory traces, which like all energy, r immortal, and impossible to destroy. At that time i will unite with her once again. Only thing that’s left to find out, is how our lovemaking will manifest itself then.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


When a skilled domina is whipping a male or a female, it’s always an erotic sight, but when a male is whipping a woman, it’s always a poor sight, disgusting and objectionable.

When i see a skilled domina torturing a male or female, it always makes me hot and horny, but when i see a male torturing a female, it always makes me puke.

When a woman is telling me she’s a domina, i always have my doubts, but when a man is telling me he’s a dominant, i have no doubts at all, it’s a lie.

When a male tells me he’s a slave, i seldom believe him, but when i meet a male, i instantly know if he’s slave-material or not. Most r not!

When a woman tells me, she wants to be a slave to a male, i know she needs help.

When i see a woman in leather or rubber fetish wear, i’m always trying to assess, if she really has a passion for it or not, but when i see a men dressed up like that, i always have to laugh, refraining from doing any assessment at all. Unless of cors it’s a shemale, cos some of them r magnificent, and more feminine, sexy, and sensual, than many gg’s.

When i see a skilled domina whipping a male or a female, it awakens my lust and urge to participate, but when i see a male whipping a female, the only thing i want, is to kill him, or to hang him by his balls from the next lamppost.


For u to download, here r two clips supporting my point of view. The first one shows the incredibly sensual Natsuki, who really knows how to handle her whip. The second one is a bit more sadistic, but still makes me want to join in.