Sunday, November 29, 2009

Top Ten Questions of Life

As u can see, again the drawing above is from Nanshakh. It represents his original, painted at the time we were in constant contact. Nowadays he's more occupied with a new flame, who seems to answer more to his fantasies and deep rooted desire to become an absolute nobody ruled by a woman driven by the idea of what mainstreamers call "female supremacy". A detail of it has a permanent place on the right side of my blog, as i consider this drawing one of his best. As i did with many of his illustrations, i tempered with the coloring to create a somewhat different atmosphere. In most cases he appreciated my interventions.

Q#00 Why do so many males want to be a slut?
Answer: That way they can safely degrade women even more.

Q#01 Why do male creatures adore silly bimbos and giggling sluts?
Answer: When around elegant women with an attitude, their ego and libido shrink.

Q#02 Why do mainstream femdoms want their subs to act like dogs?
Answer: They r incapable of enslaving humans and handling slaves.

Q#03 Why would u want to show ur cock in ur profile?
Answer: Watching the photo-shopped version of ur little man, makes it grow.

Q#04 Why is hypnotizing, or being hypnotized so wonderful?
Answer: It nullifies in both parties any awareness of being weak.

Q#05 Why r most people so quiet when visiting blogs and social networks?
Answer: They’re stuck with too many contradicting emotions, when on the same page with me.

Q#06 Why r there a zillion more males wanting to be a woman, than females wanting to be a man?
Answer: I can’t afford to reveal this, as all males would be in drag in no time.

Q#07 Why is there a disproportional amount of lesbians online?
Answer: It’s the only way extremely heterosexual machos dare to approach women.

Q#08 Why do so many males keep insisting they’re dominant?
Answer: They confuse messing the place up, with having power.

Q#09 Why do so many females constantly tell other females, they’re in love with them?
Answer: Cos they hate them.

Q#10 Why r most women potentially smarter than males, but actually more stupid?
Answer: They can make any male crawl and do their bidding, but choose to crawl themselves.

Any questions?

Saturday, November 21, 2009


Too long i was at rest
Too long asleep
A restless sleep
A restless rest
A slumber lulled by
A fantasy of peace

There is no peace
But there is war
A war i was so eager to forget
A war at land
A war in the city
A war in the street

I hate this peace
That is not peace at all
A peace so rotten
A peace so soothing
A peace so foul
A peace so comforting

I want to kill once more
To destroy this peace
A conflict i desire
A gun in my hand
A warrior at me side
A coward slain

I hate this peace
This peace of indifference
A planet under siege
A man pimped out
A woman castrated
A child abandoned

I want to kill once more
To erase this peace
A graveyard i desire
A slaughterhouse i crave
A battlefield in blood
A culture collapsing

I hate this peace
This peace of compromise
A farce
A lie
A decomposing dove
A golden calf

I want to kill once more
To crush this peace
To face this torture
To take revenge
To eradicate my error and shame
To lessen my rage

I walked in my garden last night
Heavy rain clouds were hunting a full moon
White clouds they were
Colliding with extreme force
Uniting without battle in harmony
Teaching me how to free my

Sunday, November 15, 2009

The Gardener

Bang! There he was. Big truck. Big trailer. Lots of garden tools, electrical ones as well as those working on gas. Plenty of fertilizer and insecticides. The man himself was big too, with a big smile, and very self-confident. A man of the garden world so to speak. I was informed, he had attended garden school, and graduated summa cum laude as the best of his class. Indeed he was a class apart. His references were impressive. He had worked for the crème de la crème of society, was celebrated by the jet set, and had gathered several trophies during garden contests. He was a gardener all right, if not THE gardener. Not that he did a lot of gardening himself nowadays. For that he had his workers, while he restricted his actions to managing his staff. He watched them like a hawk in heat, not missing anything they were doing, correcting , guiding, and disciplining them, if they dared to deviate from the rules, his rules.

His gardens looked beautiful. His trees blossomed when blossom-time was there. His flowers bloomed, and his lawns were greener than green itself. And no weeds whatsoever! There was order in his gardens. He hated chaos. All that had the capability to grow, had to grow in line. His line. His law. In his gardens, no bugs allowed, no roaches, no spiders, no snakes, no ants, no nothing. He called these creatures, pests, and everybody knows that pests r the pest, and need to be eradicated, erased, and killed. So he sprayed, and sprayed, and sprayed some more. Clean beautiful gardens, that’s what he was after, that’s what gardening was all about. He was the master of it all.

His scrubs were trimmed. His trees were trimmed as well. And not just like that. Oh no! No way! He trimmed a certain shape out of them. I saw one in the shape of a bird. This was not too bad, as he allowed not so many birds in his gardens. Too much bird-shit u know. Can’t have that. Besides, when there is an overload of birds around, imagine the noise they would make during sunrise and sunset. Can’t have that either. It rumored he killed any stray cat on sight, hanging them by the neck from tree branches he would cut off later. Especially male cats were his victims, as they would piss everywhere if allowed to cruise his gardens. Not that he would spare the female ones as they too had that nasty habit of digging holes in his ground. The only ones who were allowed to dig holes were of cors his subordinates, and only when told so. Rabbits, rats, dogs, moles, and mice? Come on, have a heart. Not in his gardens. Preferably he worked for the elderly, as mostly they had no small kids running around anymore. Just picture it: Toddlers playing on his lawns, damaging his grass. Blasphemy!

He had a contract with a large nursery for instant delivery, as many of his plants died after a short while, and needed to be replaced regularly to keep his gardens beautiful.

And then there was this other guy. He would never import flowers and trees that weren’t native to his gardens. He saved rainwater in special containers, masoned according to old customs. The connected drip irrigation was used as needed, and not simply time released. He observed the phases of the moon, and only trimmed plants within a timeframe of five days b4 or after a full moon, depending on how fast he wanted them to grow. He loved animals, and never called them pests. He knew the value of for instance a lady-bird, when it comes to balance the presence of plant-lice. Spraying pesticides was alien to him. He loved the sight of a spider sitting there, waiting for the fly. He enjoyed the movements of the heron standing on one leg in the pond. He loved to see a cat licking the dewdrops off the grass in the early morning light. He studied the skies and behavior of animals, so he would know when rain would fall, and if a breeze would turn into a storm. He never raked leaves from under a tree to clean up the place. He made his borders high enough, so all that came off of his plants could decompose the natural way, giving life again to the living ones. When he touched the soil, the soil touched him back.

In his gardens many birds sang, and left a lot of shit behind as well, just like it occurs in places where no human hand is disturbing the course of events. When he worked in his gardens, or was strolling them at the end of the day, no animals where running away from him, as he was part of their environment, using his skills to empower nature, instead of dominating and crippling it.

His gardens were not only beautiful. They were alive!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Dada........Promise and Failure

Of cors the superb drawing above is from Nanshakh. As usual i had to temper a bit with the coloring :)

No, i’m not referring to that creep from Uganda, who killed close to 500,000 people, but to an art/cultural movement at the beginning of the twentieth century. Zürich was their city. The place they gathered was called Cabaret Voltaire. Dada developed anti-art, as a way to express its disgust with society in general, and contemporary art in particular, accusing the latter of collaborating with the bourgeois elite, contributing to war, and supporting other cancerous phenomena, by embracing traditional norms and values, instead of revolutionizing them. It’s an art form i feel related to, as i’m in favor of contrast, anarchy, uncommon sense, chaos, irrationality, and constant criticism of the establishment, by putting and keeping same under tremendous pressure, in order to at least embank its insatiable hunger for restricting people’s freedom by developing and implementing zillions of rules, laws, and other systems of repression.

I guess Dadaïsts, in a way, felt related to the work of Voltaire, his satire, and daring opposition to the powerful French institutions of his time, as well as religion. One could argue, that Voltaire was a revolutionary, operating under extreme difficult circumstances, and a champion of freedom and social reform. And yet, he’s also an example of how deep rooted Anti-Semitism is, as he hated the Jews, and considered them barbaric and inferior. The same counts for other giants in art and literature, i.e. Blake, Liszt, and many others.

Dada in its purest from didn’t last long. The movement split up after a while, giving birth to several new branches. From the Paris chapter came Surrealism, which is another art form i’m holding close to my heart.

It’s sad that movements like Dada die, never get accepted by the masses, and never r understood. On the contrary, they r seen as insane, counter productive, and a danger to society. A society which is killing its roots, and destroying the foundation on which it originally was built, by eradicating individual creativity, independence, freedom, power, desire, potential, deviance from the norm, and initiative. It’s an illusion to believe these traits r encouraged by our social, political, and educational systems. Sure, the ‘elite’ of our society wants us to believe they r advocating development and growth of these traits, by telling us how important they r for a sane and just world. But they don't mean it. Bunch of greedy liars, that's what they r, condoned and supported by indifferent, and equally greedy morons.

Aaaahhhhh……….but there’s Neo-Dadaïsm, and even Neo-Neo-Dadaïsm. Such a relief. But i’ll stick to FFD. Much more realistic, and not dependent on the ‘one man one vote’ hysteria. Voltaire was right when he postulated, that democracy was inferior to enlightened despotism. Together with that other notorious one, Donatien de Sade, he might have been a good slave to a Jewish Gypsy woman after all, although she would never have accepted him to her inner circle.

Then Nanshakh wrote:

For all his wit, brightness, shortcomings, and insufferable traits, Voltaire is also somewhat a disappointing character, at least under the daring revolutionary angle. And mind you, I really like Voltaire. But he was not much consistent with his purported opposition to the establishment. After all, while criticising the "ancien regime" (which was the current regime at the time) his first and foremost ambition was to be admitted at the court at Versailles. Where he eventually and reluctantly managed to be accepted, but not for long... One evening, to try to stop his mistress from losing heavily at the game at the queen's table, he eventually whispered to her that the queen was cheating (which everybody knew except his mistress), and so she had better stop playing before losing too much. He whispered it in English, but someone understood English at the table, so they had to run, but run, run very fast to escape. To run and go into hiding. Again. By the way, after that most colossal of all blunders, he went into hiding in Madame's castle, Madame being the King's sister. That residence was reputed to have the most beautiful lambris (wainscotings?) of France. So it's in those most extreme and difficult circumstances that the champion of social reform operated one of his routine retreats, enjoying the very refined conversation of his extremely cultured hostess, and her exquisite table!So much so for the daring opposition of that revolutionary to the French institutions of the time... Voltaire operated most of his opposition under such adverse circumstances, amassing a little fortune in doing so, and enjoying the company of the most illustrious monarchs and aristocrats of the time. Even the first time he was jailed at the Bastille, the governor of the Bastille complained to the Regent after some time that Voltaire's cell had become the most fashionable salon of Paris. Well, maybe in that sense he was exceptional for a revolutionary, he was consumed by ambition and social recognition, but at least, he was really very intelligent and amusing.

All this as a manner of introduction to express my doubts as to the sincerity of the Dadaists. First the need to make one's art within a movement is in itself so conformist from the start. As if one's work could only be valued in relation to what preceded, surrounded and followed it. In fact the need to created a movement, with the inevitable manifesto in most cases, is so boring. And then, they, the dadaists, and then all the neos that followed, and the surrealists and all the others, were about as anti-bourgeois as Voltaire was. Without the wit usually. After all, they were the artistic establishment of the time, and yes, they did sell very well. Ok, they were considered decadent and abhorred by the Nazis and other fascists of the time, but those were really not the reference in art circles then eh! In fact, for art amateurs -and rich collectors- of the time, it was a reference to be abhorred by the reactionary clique. It was not the art condoned by the Francos, Hitlers and Mussolinis that was selling well in the 'right' galleries in Paris, and that art dealers crossed the Atlantic to buy.

So.. all that to say, you are so right, Ayesha. FFD is something to stick by. And to live by for those who can. What else? Only... as long as it won't be a movement I suppose.

Ah, those tribes, how I hate them.

As your post makes me reflect on it, the beauty of femdom, or feminine domination, is that it is intrinsically individual. In fact it's in essence about The one and sole individuality. Hers.

If that can be the definition of enlightened despotism, great, but only on a very personal level then.

And i:

FFD a movement? That'll be the day. Or better not! Like u, i'm totally against any institutionalizing of femdom. Remember the Femdom Heresy group, owned by Sarah, and her views on the matter? She’s one of those, who would like to change the world, by implementing female rules, laws, values, and other vanilla inherited ingredients, defining femdom as some sort of social movement. Still she linked her group to heresy, in an attempt to show her audience how different her ideas were from mainstream femdom. Another one is Rasa von Werder lol, and many others who want to re-educate people according to insights which r only rooted in the teachings of archetypal patriarchs.

And that’s the sadness of the majority of so called revolutionists i have knowledge of. They all need support from others, preferable from large groups of people. Only a few realize that revolution incorporates the complete break with the status quo, and more importantly, taking care not to crawl back when the storm comes to a rest. All the rest is just compromising.

U r quite right, correcting me in regard to Voltaire and the members of Dada. They too couldn’t live according to their ideas and values without the support of others, without conforming to norms they despised, or giving up the search for status, recognition, and security. I can understand it’s necessary to mobilize the masses, in order to bring change to a rotten society as a whole. But only as a strategy. Art should never be based on strategy tho. Neither should femdom! But i’m lenient, feeling empathy for people, who want to resist, whose souls r crying out for change, but r too scared to stand alone, and to go all the way in disconnecting from a world they don’t want to belong to anymore. I can understand their need for comfort via the company of others, for them to control those overwhelming feelings of fear, uncertainty, and doubt, which come with their travels to the ‘promised land’. It’s one of the reasons i’m not totally against recreational femdom.

Enlightened despotism? Let me rephrase that. It’s simply my despotism.

Watch the video! It’s really something! Unite with it. Well, try at least.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Delightful Deceit

Some time ago, when Yahoo 360 was still alive, i happened one day to read Rita's blog. Rita is one heck of a woman. To me she's as unique as Carla, the one i mentioned in "Faces of Love.........", remember? Oh u don't? Ur loss!

Anyway, Rita was sad. Couldn't figure out exactly for what reason tho. There was something about orthodox Christians or something. Maybe she was sad cos these Christians collaborated with the Germans during WW II, in order to help them to make the Jews disappear from the face of this planet. Nothing new there. Since ages they embraced anti-semitism. One of their saints ( a holy man eh), going by the name of John Chrysostom, was a champion in that area. It always baffles me when people who were and r persecuted themselves in horrible ways, quite often have an urge to persecute others. If not mistaken, some 50 million orthodox Christians were slaughtered during the ages, and still they too were fanatics in organizing one pogrom after another to kill the Jews.

I leave it at that, as that was not the reason to write this blog.

My inspiration came from the second video there, namely Sarah Brightman’s “Ave Maria”. I’ve heard many interpretations of it, but this one is special! If u know the song (and which God fearing and tax paying Christian doesn’t?), u know it’s one of those moving traditional religious top hits. In fact i play and sing it myself sometimes, cos i love the melody.

Here r the lyrics. Also in English for the morons who don’t understand Latin.

Ave Maria
Gratia plena
Dominus tecum
Benedicta tu in mulieribus
Et benedictus fructus ventris
Tui, Jesus
Sancta Maria
Mater Dei
Ora pro nobis peccatoribus
Nunc et in hora mortis nostrae

Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee;
blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.

Ah.........u know the Schubert song as well? U really rock!!

Btw, u should know Latin and Greek u know. I mean, as a Christian u shouldn’t only rely on the Saint James version of the Bible eh? Or the translation from Wycliffe and Purvey for that matter. Try it in Greek sometime. Even better to study the Hebrew text u know. Oh u don't read Hebrew either? Tsss...tsk. What kind of world citizen r u dammit? A mono linguistic one? Nooooo, i can't believe that. Not u. U speak more than one no? U r capable to understand the real thing, the true word of ur master. Well i mean all three of them of cors. What u say? U don't? And still u claim to be an aficionado of Christian morals, abiding by them no matter what? How do u know these morals r the true ones? U trust the translators? U trust the ones who taught them to u? U sure? No doubts at all? Ah i see, u say ur driven by them, but now and then u just forget about them, simply straying from the Path of Light, the Universal Truth, when it's convenient to u, when u want to get back at ur spouse, or the opportunity to make some fraudulent earnings is way too tempting to be bothered by some ancient rules. And why shouldn't u eh? Forgiveness is around the corner. Ur God will love u anyway, no matter what scumbag u r. And then........there's always his mom, um, the mom of one of them to be precise, going by the name of Mary, the spouse of Joseph, aka Maria, the one woman on this planet who got pregnant and still kept her virginity. I never understood why that was so important. I mean having to be a virgin when giving birth to one of them triplets,. Must have something to do with morals i think. But since i myself am a saint, i will be lenient on that. So enough of this. Back to Mary, aka Maria. She'll lay in a good word for u, protect u, and save u from eternal wrath, when everything goes wrong, and Yahweh is too pissed off with u to remember u r his child too, and therefore has to love u. Yep. moms can come in handy sometimes. I can tell, cos i'm a mom too.

All this sounds a bit farfetched to u? Well it happens u know. And i know all about it. So relax, go on preaching ur fine morals, and act against them when u see fit. No harm done. Really. Nothing to lose a good night's sleep for. It's all good. And u know what really will help? To tell others how sinful they r. Yes, do it, throw that darn stone. What? Wait! Make that an avalanche of rocks! The more the better. Down with these no good sinners, these assholes of humanity. Will give u an excellent feeling how righteous u r. A true child of the Lord. Nothing can happen to u now. Sheer delight will be urs. U belong to the chosen ones, and when ur body starts to decompose, u will fly away and be the champ of the heavens. Now that's what i would call a future to fight for. Praise the Lord and pass some more stones. Yeah. Hallelujah!

I'm sure tho, as a true seeker of virtue and obedience, u mastered Aramaic. Go ahead. It's fine too, and way closer to the word of the Lord ur God, than all the altered and manipulated ‘translations’ of later ages.

When watching that video, it’s hard for me to believe Sarah is singing about the Virgin Mary. Even when i heard her singing “Ave Maria” in Vienna last year, i had the same feeling. Look at her? Can’t u feel it too? This has nothing to do with a blessed woman, chosen to carry the kid of ur God. It’s about seduction, unbridled sex, passion, lust, and the desire to devour the other. It’s the song of the Siren! It’s an ode to Lilith! Or………Maria Magdalene?


Btw......any idea, what the background of my collage stands for?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


My heart was crushed
And silently
Fell down in pieces
To the abyss of my soul

I bled black liquid
Meandering slowly
From my body to
The bottom of my life

I screamed in bitterness
Cursing the deity
Who claims to be
The source of love

The crusts of open wounds
Were re-opened
By smiling saints
Trained to torture

My eyes reddened
From tears of anger
Stimulating my rage
And lust to destroy

I ordered my soul
To hate again
To abandon peace
To live renewed