Monday, December 17, 2012


I’m often accused of ridiculing, mocking, and laughing at other people. Especially in Cyberspace this seems to be the case. Many feel I’m not taking them seriously, refuse to show them respect, and unsolicited pass judgment on them. Next to that, a majority believes I’m way too rude, flaming, condescending, arrogant, and exceptionally full of myself. That I keep on criticizing their sacred ideas, beliefs, and alleged ways of living, is topping it off.

And it’s all true. I am and behave like that.

Once in a while a creature pops up asking me: “Who the fuck gave you the right to act like that?” The answer to that is: “Well, actually a whole bunch of people, like for instance, I, jeg, eu, je, ikke, أنا , yo, ich, and of course the incredible אני.

At times, some of them can’t take it any longer, must give in to their anger, lose their cool, and, unable to cope with the exposure of their vanilla reality, start yelling stuff like: “Shut the fuck up Ayesha!” Rude eh? And so impolite too!

So here I am, a pariah, a persona non grata, hated and ignored, abandoned, refused asylum, and deported by the vanilla crowd from their holy premisses, as well as by those who entertain the illusion that they are different from the masses and are representing some kind of revolutionary/devaluated (bdsm) avant garde, a new generation preparing the coming universal matriarchy, or whatever other silly quest they might have decided to sacrifice their yearning soul to.

Zol es brennen, lol! Es macht mir nit oys.

Indeed I can only laugh at them, and occasionally give them a piece of my mind, to keep them awake, on the alert, aware of their rigid comfort zones, the nonsense they are spewing from there, and also to postpone a bit the inevitably gruesome end of their pitiful illusions, fraud, self-complacency, and the burial of their box. Yes I know, no need to tell me, I’m a saint. 

But there are also a few which I don’t define as cattle, would never ridicule, or laugh at. One of them is an extraordinary woman I met in this medium some years ago. I’ve mentioned her before on this site. So here she is for a second time. It’s years that we communicated. That’s often happening to independent people. They meet, feel there’s chemistry between them, travel together for a while, till they find different trails to explore separately. Mentally they stay connected though, bonded without bondage.

I truly can relate to her. She’s a woman genuinely struggling with her passions, willing to put herself, her ideas, her beliefs, her convictions, and dreams up for discussion, without ever losing her integrity, honesty, and pride. Yes, there we have one I do respect, take seriously, hold in high esteem, and love. When we disagreed on something, i.e. religious matters, our disagreements became building blocks, not obstacles.

Here are a few (unedited) lines I wrote to her during the years which I wanted to share with you. Just a few loose ends, often brutally ripped out of the delicious context they once were in, presented to you in no specific order, but nonetheless revealing some thoughts for you to ponder, to internalize, and maybe of assistance to you to finally make that paradigm shift you say you so dearly want, but never could find the guts, energy, or the time to put into action.

Why I’m doing this again? Beats me. I just felt like it. That should be enough eh? Oh yes, more than enough.

The disagreement principle

 ".......since the beginning of time."  What is that......time?

To be "more interactive with people who either believe....." may be nice, uplifting, reassuring, and enjoyable. But it will only bring u that, nothing more. Interacting with people who r challenging ur beliefs, convictions, paradigms, dreams, and proven facts, who r disagreeing with same, putting capital question marks where u thought u had answers, r the ones who indeed will make u feel miserable, lost, doubtful, and wishing u had never interacted with them. But they will make u see more clearly what u thought was already clear enough. They will bring light where u thought brightness was absolute king, and they will show u that there’s darkness where black is a laughable color. They will give u an opportunity which ur lovable, ever supporting, encouraging, and huggable friends will never be able to provide u with. An opportunity to feel the edge of life, the abyss of pain and sorrow, as well as the peak of ecstasy and unbearable joy. Then, the waters of ur river will be split open by the rocks it encounters, but grinding and polishing them at the same time. Ur life will be one of chaos and harmony simultaneously. A paradox for ur sweet friends, but not for u. U said u r on a journey? Then travel!

I don’t think u want me in ur group, lmao.

Rut 1

I'm writing this in private to u, cos if others would read the following, they would feel hurt. Not that i would care, but it's ur blog, and i know u don't like hurting people.

It's always the same story. When u r down, there r always plenty people around who try to cheer u up, assure u that all will be well, that they went through it themselves, etc. They mean well, but it doesn't help. On the contrary. It often makes u feel worse. So many who know exactly what to do eh? But u, u alone, don't know. U really must be a loser no? Mostly they just don't know how to handle the situation, and only can come up with some clichés. In ur case, they silently hate u for being down now. U were always so strong, so outspoken, so clear in ur thoughts, such a leader, a carrier of wisdom and knowledge, etc. And..... u found ur path. U were on a journey. And they r only halfway, or less. And now u fell? Shame on u! But they won't tell. They r ur friends no? Friends don't do that. They're there to support u in ur dark hours eh? So they won't tell u what they really think of u now. But u know nevertheless. And it makes u even more miserable. U r doubting again. U don't know really what ur path is. U want to be free, without having a clue of what that means. U r searching, looking, wondering, and hoping, for the right decisions, for a sign from the Lord/Lady, etc. It's one of the results for idolizing so called positive and optimistic thinking. It also could be the result of having buried horrible events in shallow graves. Events u wanted to eliminate from ur new life. They will never stay underground tho. They r part of u. Even when ur path eventually becomes a highway one day, full of light, ecstasy, and freedom. U can't erase the past! And there's no need for it either!

Now u r down, in the rut, and feeling miserable, it's one thing to listen to all the small talk, to all the platitudes, giving u at best some minor comfort, and the knowledge u have some melodramatic friends around u, who ‘feel’ for u. There’s another path tho. And a very simple one too. But…….. it’s a little unorthodox, a bit paradoxical,  belonging to the world of uncommon sense. In fact, the world u’d like to live in. Try this:  enjoy what ur going through now! enjoy ur misery. enjoy ur feelings of unrest, jealousy, confusion, or whatever u r feeling right now. Go to ur backyard, expose that body of urs to the sun, play some really sad music, and let ur tears flow like that river i wrote u about. And…… do all the things u wouldn’t normally do. Down with morals, responsibility, and other freedom crushers. And for Lilith’s sake woman, shit on sex for a while. Don’t worry about the orgasms of ur sex toy. When the urge becomes too high for him, he always has his Manuela! 

 Rut 2

So this time u enjoyed the rut? Good! It's no fun tho to enjoy a depression eh, indoctrinated and poisoned as u were, that u must hunt for happiness, fun, and having a 'good' time.

Calling an intense emotional episode depression, and even worse to define it as a sickness, is based on the intolerance of a society which can't stand deviation from the norm, and thus needs to punish people who do. Correlating pregnancy and depression is laughable, and an example of this.

I said it b4, and will say it again: NOT feeling depressed at times, in a world so full of war, rape, injustice, hunger, child abuse, pollution,  greed, indifference, envy, oppression, terrorism, theft, murder, and genocide, is only possible for the coldhearted ones,  the ignorant ones, and the ‘no matter what’ fun seekers. U don’t belong to those. U will feel depressed again. Again u will be overwhelmed by it. And enjoy it again. Well….. as long as u desire to sit in the driver’s seat that is.

The following clip is not really my cup of tea and only a part of it could inspire me, but I know it’s Sicily’s. Yours too? Then let it inspire and empower you!

Sex addiction

According to the SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous, of cors eh? And mind u, veeeery anonymous), u need only to answer 'yes' to two (that's 2, or more than one) of these questions to make u a great prospect for the next SAA meeting, a sinner, and one with a huge sex problem.

People who come up with questions like that, probably have sex once every 25 years, as dry as the Sahara, behind closed curtains, in soundproof rooms,  using condoms to cover their big toes, and r asking forgiveness in advance for giving in to their horrible sex addiction. It won’t keep them from going out into the world like the ultimate messiah tho, imposing on the rest of the sheep their wonderful guidance, cure, and salvation.

Now let me tell u this. If i would attend one of those meetings, and would share only part of my sexuality with them heavy addicted vanilla problem seekers, i assure u that all participants would turn into instant alcoholics, or would seriously start contemplating suicide. 

Hmmmmm……..come to think of it, being the majority and all, they could also decide to burn me at the stake. Better follow the advice of my dear dead mother, who always said:  “Stay away from the righteous ones, Ayesha.”


Nice, sweet, and admirable. But an unrealistic and overdone romantic view as well. The world is not like that. People r not like that. Oh yes, i know, i'm generalizing now, which i hate. See? That's how it is. I can't stand people who r generalizing and yet i'm doing it myself. Mea culpa. Be that as it may, it still stands: There r assholes around us. In the Pagan communities as well as in whatever community. I tend to find out the whereabouts of the more infamous ones, to monitor their movements, and make contributions to destroy them. In no way i’m going to debate anything with them! Not even with smaller cockroaches. Instead, i dismiss them, ridicule them, mock them, and gladly send them back to where they came from, which r either the sewers, or comfortable, safe, and climate controlled dwellings. This has nothing to do with "bashing fluffy bunnies" or bringing down any other species. It has to do with recognizing the world as it is right now and how it has been for centuries. Which i can prove quite scholarly on a global scale and by personal experiences as well.

Maybe some problems can be solved between peers, by serious, good willing and passionate people in respectful debate, but to believe this approach could be appropriate for all, is naïve, wishful thinking, and without the desired perspective.

There’s a time for dreaming, visualizing a loving, productive, and sharing human community, tapping continuously in on its better potentials, but there’s also a time for realizing that large groups of our kin r not of good will. If there’s a chance for the Pagan world at all, it should get rid of its parasites, posers, fakes, infiltrators, and other slime-balls, and never go into a debate with same. But u r very vulnerable in that area, as u, Sicily, once wrote, as a response to a religious fanatic, that Pagans only know love, r averse from hate, and other negative traits, while i still cherish to fight my enemies. See? Another contradiction, as i hate to be a warrior. Mea culpa again. Btw, i love that Enigma song.


It was always amazing (and amusing) to me, that any religion or spiritual movement of which i have knowledge of, can be  characterized by trying to find the ultimate cause, the ultimate origin, the ultimate divine, etc etc. Of course larded with many secrets, hidden plans, plenty mysteries, and a shitload of tasks for us poor humans to unravel all this and to find our path to Nirvana, or whatever ultimate state of glory, peace, and happiness.

In Hermeticism all is centered around, or part of, The All. The All is male and female simultaneously. There’s no division between the two. In fact, it’s ridiculous to speak of male and female when it comes to The All. The All is all no? Everything included so to speak, the full package, with nothing left out. (Of cors this could leave us with the question of what is ‘nothing’, but since Sartre, nothing substantial was said about that). But……… (there’s always a ‘but’ eh) trouble was knocking at its door, and an endless stream of creatures was created from The All, creating havoc all over the place. I always wondered why The All allowed all this, why this was necessary, since everything was great and perfect already. Hmmm maybe The All had some hidden masochistic tendencies?

It also strikes me all the time, that although male and female where originally one, the female vanishes soon, and we r left with the Masters, the ones who r carrying all the wisdom, of whom we poor ignoramuses  have to depend on. A sly bunch of patriarchs these Masters, not really eager to spread their wisdom. And especially not to us women. Well count me out. I prefer to carry my own load. Always wanted to, and always did. Besides, never trusted the Patriarch that much, that i would value his knowledge without adding a grain of salt and other spices to his alleged wisdom. And believe it or not, many Masters (hahaha) learned from me, and were only too eager to follow my lead. Well…. um…. uh…. after having received a little encouragement and stimulation from me.

And another thing: In Hermes Trismegistus’ famous emerald tablet it is said that which is above, corresponds to that which is below. Yeah right. Duh. In a universe which mainly hosts spheres (and an overwhelming amount of ‘empty’ space) this really is a great found. Worthy to mystify, and to make it a secret. Roflmao.


".....with my lack of compromise"  Using the terminology u r so fond of: U r blessed! Compromising is one of the most damaging actions u could undertake. Compromising is nothing more than disguised competition. People compromise only when they believe the other party is too strong to beat. Compromising belongs to the repertoire of people who r unable to recognize the value and importance of the needs of their soul,  r prone to give in to the demands of others,  fear to be called egoistic or egocentric, willing to sacrifice their passion for pseudo-harmony, and to bow for the insights and lectures of mediocre and weak  self proclaimed gurus, teachers, guides, masters, and a bunch of other life-savers, whose only goal is to lure u into their realm, in an attempt to eliminate their feelings of impotence triggered by ur independence. They say they love u, but in fact hate u for showing them how wrong they r, how miserable their life is, etc etc. It was always so Carla. People don’t want others to deviate from the gospel of the masses. They will do anything to bring u back to the herd. They will lie, cheat, and even try to kill u for that. All in the name of what’s best for u of cors, even using the name of ur God in vain. It’s pure blasphemy! So if ur at the cross roads again, don’t abandon ur own instincts, ur own insights, ur own experience, ur own beliefs, ur own values, and ur own desires. Don’t exchange ur egoism for that of someone else’s!

For what it’s worth: I still have to meet a person online, who has shown me more open-mindedness, honesty, willingness to put herself up for discussion, and with such a drive to find her own path, than u! If there’s one person online who should trust herself, than it’s u. Don’t change!

 Gender religion

Even the ultra patriarchal god in monotheistic Judaism has a feminine side, namely the Shekhina. Of cors she's not mentioned in the bible, being a "man's tale" scripture. In the Kabbalah tho, there is no hesitation to discuss the feminine aspect of god. There she often appears as the Matronit, and even as Lilith, who of cors was condemned by the patriarchs to become a demon because she was even more powerful than the masculine god. Nowadays she's merely seen as Shabbat Hamalka, the bride of god, but still powerful and glorious, celebrated every saturday by all Jews.

"So God created Humanity in God's own image" Be that as it may, fact is that  both genders carry each others sexual characteristics. We all have nipples no? Only mine r suited for feeding while those of  the  father of my daughter r not. His penis resembles my clit. Both genders have the same hormones i.e. testosterone, progesterone, only the amount of it differs, etc. Although men and women developed huge differences since they’re walking, conquering, and polluting the earth, it’s a bit silly to emphasize these differences all the time. Instead we should celebrate the similarities. We should welcome the feminine aspect of the male, as well as the masculine aspect of the female, and not supporting  the ideas launched in books like, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”.  Maybe exactly that was the message of the ancient ones when they developed the idea of a  feminine/masculine deity, so we could have an anchor to cling to when in doubt about our identity. Separation of the genders might have been an evolutionary cq biological necessity, but it shouldn’t keep us from re-uniting our souls!


U know what good medicine is in cases like this? To stroke his ego a bit more (which btw equals to stroking his dick)  by telling him that he's soooo right to believe u r not his equal. Then.... take his shivering manly hand (softly eh), and bring same to ur breast, breathing heavily (not heavenly!), looking up to him with ur hungering, half closed, eyes, leaning towards him, placing ur  head in total surrender against his super duper chicken torso, whispering……….u know oh master of the universe, thou art my property, i own u completely, u will do exactly as i say, as u r my slave, far from being equal to me.

From then on… will be ur story.

U know why i keep writing 'r' 'u' 'b4' etc? Various reasons. But one of them is, that i like to provoke grammar and spelling freaks, who can't get it into their head, that both change over time, and what is 'wrong' today, will be 'correct' tomorrow, etc. Besides, i rather master speaking several languages, instead of writing one or two 'correctly'.

That's why i keep contributing to ur blog: The feeling and certainty that u will make ur own decisions. I don't want any followers. I don't want to be one who's guiding others. I have no tendency to be a teacher. I don't wish to establish another movement, religion, anti-religion, or silly secret sisterhood.

I think u r the right stuff when it comes to breaking loose from the curse of one-dimensionality. Like me, u will be practically alone tho. Which in my view, is better than to be surrounded by people who'll never have the spirit nor the guts to really think out of their boxes or bubbles, only fooling themselves that they do.

Once the breakthrough is there, the most difficult and enjoyable part is still to come: To take action on ur insights, to develop and maintain same.

I wonder what would happen if one day ur path would cross my Escher highway.

On appelle gens de bien ceux qui font comme les autres. ........C’est la vie, la peste et le choléra!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Quo Vadis

You don't know what that means? Look it up, and expand your knowledge a bit! You don't want to? That's ok too, enjoy the moron that you are, and maybe, if your literacy is equipped enough to read the rest of this blog, you'll understand the meaning of it later on. 

In the late (er….now very decomposed) Yahoo 360, I dedicated a few lines on this then new Yahoo platform, which, as some of you will remember, had to make place for Yahoo Pulse, now dead as well. Anyway, named lines were rather sarcastic, a bit cynical, condescending, and also somewhat ironical. Not that I would uphold an overload of all of these fine and uplifting personality traits in what is frequently called real life. But in virtual environments, like for instance this one, heavily infested with the worst members of the human species, inevitable they will look me up, find me, crawl into my system, take over, and possess me, to be expressed freely and randomly, as well as intensely, passionately, gracefully, and ruthlessly gentle.

Social networking has something to do with communication. At least, that’s what I thought. Communication in the virtual world is mostly restricted to the written word, responding to the writings of others, receiving replies, so on. At least, that’s what I thought. The virtual world is pre-eminently a place where one can meet virtually anybody, to discuss, to exchange ideas, to learn from cultures one would never have dreamt of visiting in r/l, to deepen and enrich each other, etc. At least, that’s what I thought.

إلى أين أنت ذاهب

Let’s have a peek at what’s really going on in what is called the adult neighborhood of CyberCity.

First of all we have the SD. No, no, no, I’m not referring to those German creeps from WWII, although many here still are addicted to Nazi shit. In this case, SD stands for Sexually Deprived. Many come here to express their sexual preferences, minutely telling us about experiences they don’t dare to go after in real life, but never the less quite often presenting those as if they really would belong to their daily dose of happiness. Example? Running around with a chastity device attached to a part of their body which actually doesn’t need one.  No, I’m not talking about these overly serious FLR “lifestylers” who are light years away from even vanilla femdom and bdsm activities. No absolutely not, as these folks are truly dedicated revolutionaries, a.k.a sissies, preparing for the coming of the Neo-Martriarchal State on Earth. I’m referring here to the self proclaimed kinky ones without kink, the thrill seekers without a thrill, the ones suffering in the office against their will, the ones constantly quarreling with their wives about nothing, the not understood and devaluated ones, the ones cowardly and secretly bragging from behind their keyboards, so on.  Yes, they rather spit it out here in the virtual world, believing it will stay anonymous, unknown to their 9-5 co-workers, friends, gurus, and pastors, often using foul language to no end. I came to believe that the accompanying cock/vagina/sperm pictures, preferably in very high resolution mode, are intended to compensate for the up-loader’s sexual impotence, corrupted libido, or some other frustrating quality. Vulgarity has not limits in Cyberspace. Filth is in.  

The next video is just a replacement. The original one was removed because it allegedly violated YouTube's TOS. And we can't have that eh? Watch the new one, as it's still picturing a bit the intended atmosphere. I recommend to watch the complete movie. It's one of the best in its genre, and certainly light years away from all the femdom-junk most of you are used to!

Wohin gehst du?

Then we have the SS. No, no, no, I don’t mean those other German creeps from WWII, although their are many in here who still get aroused when wearing their uniforms, posing as if they were the real ones. In this case, SS stands for Shy Snob. One easily can identify them by their profile pictures, in ancient cyber times resembling a grey paper bag with cut out eyes, afraid as they were of…….yeah, of what really? Nowadays we have colorful exclamation marks exclaiming nothing whatsoever, scenic landscapes, meaningless silhouettes, or pornographic pictures stolen from other sites. Never a picture of themselves!

Nonetheless they mostly maintain an attitude as if they were God’s gift to the Cyber-Universe, demanding respect, recognition, and support, no matter the lowliness of their existence. Among them we can find countless victims of society. Well that’s how they see themselves. Complaining about all the injustice that came their way, and whining about all the bad cards that were dealt to them, is more often than not the order of the day. Quite often they show SD qualities as well.

Où allez-vous ?

As a third party the SM come marching in. No, no, no, they have nothing to do with the Marquis, or tortured Leopold and his quasi cruel Wanda. In this case, SM stands for Sophisticated Moron. They lack any conversational skill while they’re convinced of the opposite. Here we can meet lame lecturers, lousy scholars, and intellectuals not found fit enough to be allowed to join the Mensa clique. Normally they come in during the morning, wishing each and everyone (yes indeed) a very good morning, not worrying for one nano-second about time zones. When they turn in, they joyfully tell the world they will turn in, wishing each and everyone a great evening/night, again not concerned about time zones. In between these landmarks in their life, chances r, they’ll wish us a fabulous afternoon, adding often to it their deep desire that our weather will be fantastic. Always in a polite, respectful, and profoundly hypocritical way. Throw in also a few lousy jokes, an abundance of cliché wit, lame excuses for not having blogged lately (as if we could care), an occasional naughty (gawd how i hate that word!) remark, or a way too extensive report covering their latest experiences with chastity, a severe hairbrush encounter, or a recent backlash from having used the wrong dishwashing liquid (yes you got that right, it’s the FLR aficionados here all over again) et voilá, there you have it, their complete repertoire of communication. Oh yeah, and they can’t cope with any criticism either, lol. Ah those poor things, so vulnerable, so touchy, and so righteous. I don’t think you’ll in the mood to ask me, but I tell u straight up: It’s internet contamination and decomposing crap! Yep, that’s what it is. Smelly too. 

где вы собираетесь?

Last, but certainly not least, there is the IP. No, no, no, I’m not talking internet etiquette here. In this case, IP stands for Interesting Prospect. Bang…… never saw that coming eh? Not that there are many, but they do exist. Quite often there’s a promising picture displayed on their profile page. Rarely one of themselves though, but still much better than the one of a SS or the fake cock up-loaded by a SD. When I see one, I immediately invite that person to connect. Yes I do, believe it or not. That hungry I am to finally meet someone in Cyberspace to communicate with, to have less triviality for once, and to virtually escape the common crap and sexual nonsense for a while. Alas, after a few interesting words with them, most turn out to be SM’s or SD’s as well. They back off as soon as they feel that I’m serious, they realize that I can be playful but never play games, and that I want more from them than the usual stuff. And in the rare case I invite them to meet me face to face, they jump up and speed into the other direction like a bipolar cheetah in its manic phase. Hilarious! In the end there’s only silence. The silence of tigers turned into lambs.

A dónde vas?

Damn, I almost forgot! Of course there are also SNP. No, no, no, not our beloved and cherished social network providers or the well known single nucleotide polymorphism. SNP stands for Sexy Normal Person. You know, the ones who genuinely are addicted to a deliciously devouring fetish like rubber, leather, boots, steel collars, well u name it, or the trans-sexual men and women who dare to have gender confirmation surgery, or people who can’t imagine a life without being enslaved to a tyrannical and whimsical woman, or the guild of sexy she-males, a.k.a. bimbos, always on the road to expand their sex life, or ……….come on, you know already. We are an absolute minority, discriminated, slandered, laughed at, persecuted, feared, criticized, and……… admired. Yes that’s right……admired! Many are jealous of us and envy our intelligence, originality, creativity, selfishness, arrogance, honesty, openly displayed vulnerability, megalomaniacal tendencies, ability to laugh at ourselves, independence, self-indulgence, impudicity, corrosive desire to really find and test our partners’ lusts, etc. Many want to be like us, do like us, live like us, but lack the passion, energy, and courage to follow up on that. Instead, to keep their fragile self-esteem from collapsing, they rather continue to disapprove of us, to hate our guts, to slander us, to demonize us, and to invent mental illnesses for us.

Dove stai andando?

You’ve read this on the front page of this Blogger site: “I will give u an opportunity to show greatness of character. Seize it!” So what are you waiting for? Why are you hesitating? Go for it, do it, and you’ll feel great. But only if you are the right stuff eh? Only if you have the stomach for it. Only if you stop conning urself. Only if you refuse to listen to that false and stupid inner voice, telling you it can’t be done, that your passion can only materialize as a fantasy, an illusion, a fata morgana.  And if not? If you can’t do it, if you must stay glued with your lazy ass on that uncomfortable chair fixed at the table in your debilitating and awful comfort zone, yes then, by all means, be a happy and foolish SD, SS, SM, or a crippled IP, slowly meandering to your final hole in the ground. Yes, that’s where you will end up, frustrated, alone, forgotten, having made the wrong turns and choices, not having lived!

לאן אתה הולך



Um….noticed I abandoned “u”, “i” “of cors” etc? Isn’t that gr8? Yeah, Ayesha finally saw the light people, and gave in at last. Now she too belongs to the honorable S&G crowd.  What? Stuff and Giggles? No, no, no! Never, you hear! Well……er…..I must admit, u (oops!) almost got it. Almost eh? Of course……… it stands for Spelling and Grammar, silly. Btw, did you know there also exists an Anti Slang Syndicate, better known as ASS?

Friday, November 9, 2012


The woman in the picture above? Nah, i know her pretty well, and i can assure u, she’s in perfectly good health and excellent shape. Just look at her! Isn’t she all one could ever wish for in a woman? Ok, ok, she has a few nasty flaws as well, and some may consider her a bit provocative, while some would even accuse her of being a flaming bitch, a mad woman, a no good destroyer of vanilla values, and therefore in the end inevitably will come to the conclusion that she must be sick. But…um….. that’s only cos these people belong to a class i like to refer to as mental dwarfs. So no, she’s not sick. Just not normal.

What about the one on the horse then? Maybe she caught a cold or something? I mean, riding a horse naked could cause that eh? Again, no, nothing of the sort. And the horse is fine too. I mean this horse, cos there r many horses which r not, due to the way some people treat them. And that’s what this particular blog is about: People who get (sexual) pleasure from abusing animals, i.e. horses, a.k.a. zoosadism.

A Triptych

Part One........Horror & Shame

Animal cruelty is all around us. Just think of what’s going on for instance in circuses, laboratories, slaughterhouses, some religious rituals, movie making, and fishing (especially when hunting for shark fins).  And don’t forget these so called sports, i.e. dog fighting, cock-fights, and bullfighting. I hate those, can’t stand them, and often mock, ridicule, and challenge people who practice/admire same.

Here’s an example, a quote from what i wrote on my site in feb2011: Years ago a man invited me to a bullfight in Puerto Vallarta. When i cheered for the bull the moment he drove his horns into the belly of the coward ‘fighting’ him, my companion feared for my life (and his i guess), and hastily tried to calm the crowd where we were seated, nervously explaining to them that i was just an ignorant Gringa, lol. Me, a Gringa, can u imagine, hahaha.

Recently i was kicked out of a yahoo group. Yep, stuff like that happens to me a lot (sigh, sob). 

The owner of this particular group, a slave to his spouse whose dominant instincts he claims to have awakened and to whom he taught how to handle a bullwhip so she could punish him for whatever what, had more than enough of me criticizing him and his affiliates regarding ‘hard horseback riding’.  B4 it came to that, he praised me for my comments, telling me also i was “a natural born female supremacist” (yes, his words). Hahahaha, me a female supremacist? That poor guy probably never took some time off to read my take on that silliness. Or maybe he did, and instantly went into denial? 

Btw, what about u eh? U too believe that females r supreme and superior to males? U do? Oh noooooo, pulleeeezzzz, repent, adjust, change, convert, and stop that nonsense! What? U can’t u say? U r a hard believer u say? A rock without any doubt about our superiority? A fiery defender and relentless protector of Womyn’s Rights, unshakable in ur sacred quest? U too belong to the ones living in err, dedicating ur life to female supremacy, and will do anything to be an apostle of its rotten religion? Well….um….ur rotten religion eh, as there r not so many women subscribing to ur phantom church. Anyway, high time for u to read “Forget it” (again)!

Damn, now where was i? Oh yes, i was telling u about the one who couldn’t bear with me anymore. And  the ones following in his wake were very happy too once i became invisible in his (their) world. Cos that’s what he was defending: A world were horses r seen as a kind of commodity, a thing to be used, a living being to be cruelly hurt, pester, tortured, and abused, only existing to satisfy the lower instincts of a bunch of indifferent people who r playing down their lame attitudes and acts toward those animals by trying to convince themselves and others that what they r doing is beautiful, claiming to have the right to make the life of a horse as miserable as possible, only focusing on themselves and their deep seated sad drives. What a world. Yuck! Sick!

As a matter of fact, i consider these animal ‘games’ worse than ‘nazi-play’, and u know what i think about the latter. Oh u don’t? Then go here, and learn.

It all began after i had posted this: Ah that infamous hard riding, a.k.a. challenging riding or extreme riding. Here it is i who is wondering now how it is possible that a femdom could engage in this or encourage same. How is it possible that a woman could participate in the abuse and the deliverance of pain to an animal, i.e. a horse or a donkey, a creature absolutely not craving activities in the realm of d/s or s/m like some humans do. It’s disgusting!

I love horses and own several of them. I love the feeling to ride on their powerful backs, to speed along beaches, or softly talk to them during a relaxed ride in the forests. I was a kid the first time my father let me ride a pony. Since then horses were my trusted friends, and i will never lay a whip on them. And spurs? To hell with them!


Among other things, the head-goddess in that group replied: “……..please, do not judge nor post negative msgs about hard riding, since Riding Cult is one of most beautiful things we enjoy. So please respect our tastes and preferences.”

Turn a blind eye? Respect something i can only hold in contempt? Leaving something untold simply cos these people want to be among themselves, not to be disturbed by soft creatures like myself, or, as the afore mentioned slave so colorfully and eloquently expressed, not having to deal with ‘a pain in the ass’?

Well, that’s not me. So i wrote back: Look sister, i think u r one of a few commercially oriented women in Cyberspace who know how to wear boots and leather in a feminine way and to a certain extent is skilled in the art of whipping. I could befriend u for that, and maybe even more. But u lose me when it comes to hard riding for reasons i explained already. And i will speak my mind whenever and where ever i feel like it. No matter the consequences! Rest assured tho i won’t bother u and ur clients here anymore with my insights and actions about same. Well maybe. No promises! It had to be said tho, and i did. Chances r i will dedicate some words on hr on my own site. But, unlike u, i won’t ask u to refrain from commenting (no matter its content) after publication of same, should u have the urge to do so.

And, like i said, that did it, that was too much for Sir Slave. **Exit Ayesha**

Since i believe that group was created mainly to stimulate the sale of their videos focused on vanilla femdom and hard riding, i’m taking their r/l involvement with pestering and hurting horses (and donkeys) with a grain of salt. To boost the sale of their products somewhat more, i’m also under the impression that some of the postings over there, allegedly written by different male and females, actually come from the same person. But that’s just me. Maybe i’m wrong. Who cares? Not i. People r known for utilizing the strangest marketing techniques to get their products off the shelves. Pleasing customers is of paramount importance. Feeding their audience via the group with what they r after, offering them a platform to discuss what’s eating their souls, and to spice things up with pictures and an occasional clip, is possibly a great way to make some cash. And one certainly doesn’t need ‘pain in the asses’ like me to spoil all that eh?

The Internet is infested with groups and sites like that, although a good part of them  r not commercially operated, and exist only as some kind of lightning-conductor for dealing with personal frustration and to channel lowly brain activity to the private parts of the creator of the group and its membership. Most members do not participate in the discussion and never share anything. They just lurk, and hope that others will provide them with the badly needed stimulants. Cheap as they usually r, many also try to illegally lay their hands on commercially offered products. Then jerk off when watching those.

But who r these people really? What does the audience look like? Who gets off on watching animals suffer? Knowing the scene a bit, i think it’s safe to say they come from all walks of life. They can be ceo’s, garbage collectors, high ranking military personnel, drug traffickers, sweet moms (oh yes they too),  pastors, vets, u name it.  The intensity of the drive varies enormously too. Some people just need a little bit, others can only get relief from watching the most despicable atrocities, or participating in them. It’s not unlikely that these people r suffering from some serious psychological problems.

Within the hard riding area, many fans crave it when a horse’s tail is tied by a rope to a fence or a tree, and then is given the spurs as hard as possible, preferable not the English type but the ones with razor sharp rowels! The poor animal can go nowhere, but frantically tries to move forward in despair and agony, however to no avail. And they love to see the animal bleed, cheering it to suffer as long as possible. Some use barbed wire as a mouth piece, others r sexually turned on by breaking their horse’s teeth, and the ones that r getting hard from seeing animal blood on the boots of a dame coming back from a cruel ride, r countless. Sick!

To be clear, although i’m a saint, i eat meat (well not that much), i’m wearing leather most of the time (my wardrobe is extensive), and i’m not an animal rights activist. But……… i only devour eggs from free roaming egg-laying hens, and strongly support animal welfare. In fact, i find the whole animal issue confusing and struggle a bit with Richard Ryder’s concept of speciesism.

Be that as it may, to participate in activities where horses intentionally and deliberately r harmed, i reject to the fullest, and consider these activities mega objectionable. It’s sick and shameful!

Part Two........An Alternative

U know? It’s horrible to know that there r people who r linking this shit to femdom. Even in vanilla femdom circles it should be cursed and condemned! In contrast with what many seem to be convinced of and/or r marketing, female domination has nothing to do with abusing humans, animals in general, or horses in particular. People who r attracted to hurting animals r simply vanilla sadists, absolutely not connected to the world of d/s. A woman can strut around in leather and boots, wielding an exquisite whip, and riding a formidable horse, without being a dominant female. But she can easily be a vanilla sadist, or faking to be one, only to please a deranged man or to plunder his wallet. In fact, femdom and vanilla sadism r alien and antagonistic to each other! Femdom is the total enemy of vanilla sadism!

So, for all those in need of abuse and cruelty, why not cross over and keep all that between humans? There’s pet-play u know? It’s all over the mainstream/vanilla/recreational/commercial d/s place. Many women r already pleasing their men by riding their robust backs and/or massive shoulders (well, for some that’s fragile backs and/or sagging shoulders) during hot times outdoors, in secret cardboard dungeons in the attic or basement at home, during festive encounters with likeminded people in fetish clubs, or in high priced establishments of the pro-domme world.

It’s huge people. There’s some serious stuff going on in that area. No animals needed for that!

And u know what? No limits whatsoever. I mean agreed upon stuff of cors. Ssc no matter what. Complete consent or nothing. Free from stupid and unwilling animals which eventually could trample ur ass to pulp. Truly an encounter between a demanding and instructed dominatrix riding her hoof clad human horsie through the neatly vacuumed bedroom stall, proud tail protruding from his ass. And don’t forget the spurs eh? Really sharp ones of cors. Dig in ladies. No mercy! 

Now wouldn’t that be something? Of cors it would. So what r u waiting for? Go for it already! Go abuse and hurt that pathetic human horse of u to the fullest! He deserves it! Make him bleed!

And once the initial training sessions r over, once that mindless human animal finally learned his place between ur incredibly sexy legs and out of this world derrière (never mind advanced cellulitis), it‘s time to take it to the next level, to go out into the world, and challenge ur competitors, lame couples who dare to rival ur unique female supremacy and inferior male companion. Yeah, that’s the life u all have been dreaming of!  So what r u waiting for? Go for it already! Go get those slimy bastards!

Ok, feet on the ground again. Back to reality. Back to how women really feel about all this, what really is going on when they r trying to keep their balance while riding on their man into the sunset. Back in 2010 i wrote a piece about pet-play. It’s titled “Woof”. Regarding horses i posted: So, r there women who really enjoy riding on the back or the shoulders of a male? A male dressed up like a pony, with a tail sticking out of his butt? Women who dream about that, who get aroused when hopping around in the bedroom, wielding their riding crops? I don’t remember i ever got horny from that. But i sure felt stupid. I asked many women what their experiences were, and all of them disclosed to me, they found it rather inconvenient, ridiculous, if not stressful! 

And that’s how it is folks. Not sick. Only stupid. But highly preferable to harassing real horses! So go ahead, play on, and leave them real horses alone!

Part Three……..How it should be

Here r two videos from a man who’s the opposite of the creeps and i mentioned in Part One. A man who knows how to relate to his horses, who tries to understand them, instead of making their lives miserable and full of discomfort and suffering. A human being i want to salute, and respect indeed. Watch, enjoy, and learn.

And to close this up, here’s one of my favorites. It pictures what i love to do as well.

See y’all later. In the meantime…………

Aaaahhhhh.................sooooo good ;)


Tuesday, October 16, 2012


I know, i know, some of u r wondering: Where the heck is she? Some of u r guessing about my whereabouts. Guess those guesses r wrong tho. Only a few people i gave a clue, a hint, but i don’t think they  figured it out for real. Some of u r wondering: Why doesn’t she tell us what she’s doing. Some of u r guessing what i have been up to. Guess those guesses r wrong as well, hehehe.

Don’t worry people, i’m still dancing.

Come join me now.

As for the rest of u, the masses who hate my guts, hope that i’ll rot in hell, and curse me?

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Every 15 seconds

Here’s something for all the believers who constantly r announcing the imminent and inevitable arrival of global matriarchy. Its purpose is for  them to at least partially open up their eyes to the brutal reality of daily life, and also an attempt to make them realize and understand that their dream of a world ruled by loving, nurturing, and wise women, a world without patriarchal laws, norms and values, a world where men will be subservient to the female gender, is only based on wishful thinking, a fantasy, and possibly a twisted and/or mutated libido.

This is also meant for those who r new to the idea of a 21 century societal shift from patriarchy to matriarchy, who read about and became enchanted by the stories of ancient matriarchal communities, or r confused by the never ending attempts of female superiority fanatics to make them join their ranks and become worshippers and servants of so called Divine Womyn.

I wrote about the myths and fallacies regarding the idea that female leadership is by far more effective than what the patriarch has to offer in that area many times, for instance here. But people like for instance SH and his comrades don’t give a rat’s ass about the existing reality. They simply don’t want to see, and keep insisting that women will soon take over to rule the world, a world where docile men, preferably held in chaste, will serve and pleasure wise and sublime women. They find signs and proof for that in stuff like the performance of girls in schools, silly prose written from the perspective that women genetically r (mentally) superior to men in most areas, research done by and ideas from dames like Ava Parks, Liza Mundy, Elise Sutton, Jean Houston, and Rasa von Werder, Bible interpretations, and the fact that nowadays one can find baby changing tables in men’s restrooms.

Of cors these modern quasi-scholars, driven false prophets, and mislead gurus, have no problem to conveniently leave out the work of for instance Cordelia Fine, as well as critical reviews of books like The Richer Sex and other propaganda material promoting the coming age of blessed female rule.

Yes, what u r going to see is happening every 15 seconds. One in four women has to deal with this. And mind u, this is only for the USA. Now try to picture what's happening in the rest of our world.

So take a look, and get ur feet back on the ground!  

R u shocked? Matriarchy is still around the corner? Soon we will live in a world filled with peace, justice, and harmony, where wise and superior women will take care that all violence is a thing of the past? Yeah right!
Like i suggested here, it’s time that we women wake up, face reality as it is, fight it, and not let ourselves put to sleep by the crap launched by self proclaimed submissive men and the lullabies of silly women who believe that playing part-time d/s games in the bedroom and having their husbands do laundry and dishes, will bring us the above mentioned shift. A shift btw i would consider undesirable in the first place, if not plain stupid. Instead we need to be able to take care of ourselves, mentally as well as physically, yes especially physically, in a world which for a great part is sexist, violent, false, indifferent, hypocritical, dangerous, anti-female, unjust, and driven by greed, crime, war, and vanilla male dominance. 

For a long time to come we must learn to use men’s language and tools to defend ourselves against male violence, to crush their superior physical power over many of us, and to armor ourselves against their foul psychological abuse. It’s the only language creepy vanilla men understand. 

I’m here to testify that it was a great feeling the first time i physically forced a male down to his knees and begged me to end his ordeal. And in a way it still is. I’m here to tell u it’s a rush to be able to walk dangerous neighborhoods without any fear for getting attacked, robbed, or hurt. Some of u will remember i wrote about that in an earlier blog.

To not have to depend on others for safety is the way to go. I took things in my own hands. U should do the same. It’s ur turn now. So get those goddamn skills, and make any lowlife feel inferior and bite the dust from the streets, ur living room, or dance floor, the second u inevitably have brought him down! That’s femdom too u know? Even if u r not inclined to live a femdom’s life, u still should be able to dominate any vanilla threat, and never end up in a situation like the woman in the video. And u know who can help u with this? Yes, that's right: A real man! Like for instance the men i referred to here, and here.

For ur entertainment, to inspire u to finally get off ur lazy butt, and to let the idea of ur alleged female physical vulnerability evaporate into oblivion, go and watch the following videos as well. Although they r not 'real', they definitely show what is possible for us women to achieve. 

To hell with dreamy and rosy matriarchy. We’re here to dominate the foul side of patriarchy, and not to chase a fantasy coming from the subbie-hubbie ironing squad and weak women whose dominance depends on the willingness of males to top them from the bottom. And for those of u who r like me, let it be known that a femdom can blossom in any society, community, and environment, no matter what. No matriarchy needed for that.

The next video is a follow up to the one u just watched, showing among other things how anti-violence we r, but ready to use it if we r driven up against the wall, r trapped, or r left with no other choice to solve a problem.


U know? Even women who still believe in the existence of a higher power, a God, r heavy into what their religion tells them to do, i.e. following the dogma of “turn the other cheek”, can learn to ruthlessly act against male violence and abuse, without violating the commandments of their divine Lord. They simply should see themselves as the representative of God on Earth, his vassal, his servant, his warrior, his right arm seeking justice, allowed to take revenge on those who made it a habit to beat the shit out of the daughters of Eve. Watch and enjoy the extra video and see for urself :)