Saturday, December 31, 2011


I was looking for a more or less appropriate “end of the year” blog when (again) my long term friend and soul sister Rita unconsciously delivered the right subject right at my doorstep. This time she did it by referring, in her own blog, to the life and work of Alexandra David-Néel.

From ancient times on, many thoughts were thought, and many words were written about the immortality of body and/or soul. As everybody knows, the soul got most of the attention. Some tried to locate the soul as a physical entity, but most saw it as some kind of spiritual one. Some, if not most, had a religious background, others were more secular. Either way, i never found a definition or description which could satisfy the hunger of my scientific and spiritual soul combined. The most appalling ones i found in mainstream religions, which purposes, afraid as they were (and still r) to lose their power over the masses, always have been, often in an incredibly hypocritical way, to hide from their followers, the 'mystery' of life and death. As if the patriarchs, priests, scholars and other so called authorities of these religions had knowledge of this ‘mystery’ themselves lol.

The concept of reincarnation, and things alike, does nothing for me. So too r vampires and zombies not my thing when it comes to immortality.

In novels, nowadays movies and tv-series, immortality is a hot item as well. Juicy example: Rider Haggard's trilogy about the ancient Ayesha :) Very nice, entertaining, and at times capable of triggering in me a few interesting thoughts/ideas/fantasies about living forever, but nothing substantial.

It's a subject which has my huge interest. But i'm trying to see immortality from different angles than the usual, common, and known ones, a.k.a. the vanilla ones. The only and inevitable connection with the vanilla approach is of cors, that i’m a human being (well, some think i’m a demonic witch or something) who lives in this particular time frame, even if we would consider time only a human invention, and not a fourth dimension for instance.

So i take info which is and becomes available to me from all kinds of sources (science, uncommon sense, etc), and try to look at in different ways, using different paradigms, maybe even a fantasy, a dream, whatever. I take what is scientifically known, but, to further my knowledge, i dismiss to follow the methodologies and rituals of mainstream scientists. I gladly leave that to them, trusting they will timely publish their new discoveries when they find them, for me to use same in my own erratic and eclectic way.

Contrary to popular belief, from a biological, chemical, physical, and medical point of view, in theory there r no real major obstacles to obtain immortality in the far future, or at least create a situation in which living a 1000 years on average, will be as common as it is now to reach 70, 80, or a little more. To illustrate this a bit i randomly selected 2 videos which in my opinion shouldn’t be too difficult to understand for reasonably educated and/or intelligent people.

However, in case u belong to those who couldn’t care less about what’s going on in the field of aging, or r too lazy to make an effort to learn something about it, i would advise to simply forget about them and keep on going with whatever u r doing, joining the rest of the masses, and later die peacefully, in pain, or in agony, ignorant of all the possibilities u’ve lost on ur way to ur grave.


The picture painted above will be a reality long after i’m gone. So, while some great scientists currently keep themselves busy with solving for instance that darn problem to keep a certain absolutely necessary plasma alive, for our body to be able to function well once it’s approaching its 600 years of existence, i’m more interested in finding a way to create some kind of afterlife in which i still will be able to enjoy femdom long after my physical body ( i mean the one that’s now still visible and touchable on planet Earth) has completely decomposed and nothing has been left of it. And that’s what, among other things, i’m trying to accomplish now. Sounds crazy huh? Yeah i’m sure it does. But i’m excited about it. So i do it. Besides, given my personality, i rather fail in doing what i want to do, than to sit still, waiting in docility, fear, or boredom, for, in this case, some deity, or whatever (super)natural power, to decide whether i’ll burn in Hell, will be allowed to enter Heaven, or simply rot away when the time has come to leave this life.
It’s quite a challenge tho, as i rarely meet someone who’s trying to do the same. But when i do, it’s bouncing off ideas and speculations like fireworks.

To get a glimpse in what kind of unknown trial and error brain draining and thinking world i’m moving around when trying to find a way to build and manage my afterlife, maybe an analogy of what it is NOT, will help.

There r people who believe aliens exist. Aliens of cors thought to be creatures not from planet Earth, but from outside. That’s why we call them aliens no? Like they would call us. Hmmm, maybe not. Given the vastness of our universe, and all the parallel universes that come with it, only an absolute fool would say that we humans can be the only living and/or intelligent organisms in named vastness. And although it’s not unthinkable that somewhere there could be creatures more or less looking and living like we do, i still find it remarkable, if not laughable, that people mostly think of aliens as, in one way or the other, comparable to us in shape, ways of thinking, fighting, etc. Seems that many humans r way too moronic and ignorant to comprehend that the probability of this is more of the opposite. Just take for instance gravity. A living being on a planet with let’s say 100 times the gravity of Earth, would never be able to walk like us, and probably would look more like a pancake or a napkin. Get it? I don’t want to take the usual, the known, and agreed upon, as my point of reference. I don’t want to take what seems natural to me for granted as the truth. I’m looking for something which doesn’t fit my thinking at all!

And it can be done. Yes, against all odds. I did something like that when i created feminine femdom, and disconnected myself from the vanilla world, its rules, morals, and thinking, and only kept using and taking from that world to further develop my new world of femdom. It wasn’t easy to accomplish this, many resisted and slandered me and my ideas of what femdom is and what it is not (and still do, lol), but it taught me the first steps to this new deliciously challenging project. But it’s like a devilish and horribly frustrating crusade as well. A crusade into the unknown of the unknown, aiming at not gaining knowledge as we define it, but something different. Maybe even the opposite of it. This sounds crazy to u? Again? Grrrrr!

Let me finish then with 3 quotes. Two of Arthur Clarke, and one of Einstein. Maybe those will penetrate a part of ur foggy and rusty brain:
“The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible.”

“How inappropriate to call this planet earth when it is quite clearly Ocean.”

"You cannot achieve a new goal by applying the same level of thinking that got you where you are today."

And if this is still not enough for ya, then ponder this one of Golda Meir:

“Moses dragged us through the desert for 40 years to bring us to the one place in the Middle East where there was no oil.”

Sunday, December 18, 2011


Picture this: U finally made it. U finally convinced ur better half to take the lead in ur household. After years and years of frustration, begging, endless discussions, manipulation, bdsm gifts, dragging her to so called fetish events, and even threats to divorce her, visit a pro-domme, or take, what we in this part of the world call, a By-side, she finally agreed to dominate u, to make u her slave, subbie, dog, pig, servant, butler, knight, of whatever had spooked through ur brain and groin, u fantasized about or dreamt of.

Yes the time has come now, for u to be only there for Her, for Her desires, Her wishes, Her needs, or any other thing which could pop up in Her mind for u to do. Even kneeling at her feet! Yes, even that! But like the strong man that u r, u had no doubts, no problems, and no hesitations, to only live for Her. Joyfully, eagerly, and totally aroused, u do the dishes, the laundry, the ironing, the vacuum cleaning, and make the bed. Running errands, kicking ass of all her undesired stalkers, licking her boyfriend’s sperm off her boots? Those things can only excite u, make u feel alive, and give u purpose to live. Every day, without exception, u r there for Her, ur Mistress, ur Goddess, ur All. There simply is nothing u wouldn’t do for Her. Ur life is entirely now in Her hands. To do with it whatever She would want to do with it. U r completely fulfilled and happy. And will be, every day, weeks, months and years to come. Till death does u part. Yes, that’s it! And if She would want u to die for Her, u wouldn’t hesitate a nanosecond, and die with a smile on ur face, and a hard-on of unheard proportions. No limits.

So She leashes u, and let u lick Her feet while watching the News. She spanks u with Her hairbrush, She gags u with Her soiled panties, and teaches u how to spoil Her girlfriends. And when u fail? Corner time for u boy! Writing thousands of lines like………..”I will always obey my Mistress, because I’m her devoted slave, and She is my Goddess”. And much much more. Just to make u happy.

And what u love most of ur Goddess, is that She’s so creative and adventurous, constantly finding new ways to please u even more. For instance, she bought u the latest chastity device, and a steel collar snugly hidden under that other collar when going to work. She also makes u wear pink panties, after having thrown all ur manly underwear into the dumpster.

Life couldn’t be better.

But actually she hates all this. She never felt like a domina. She never wouldn’t have wanted to be awakened to one either. She’s just playing along with ur morbid desires, cos she loves u, and wants to give to u what u said u needed so much.

But u moron became convinced She had changed for real. That up till now She just was hiding the REAL She, that woman driven by that natural dominant streak in Her, oppressed as it was by that damned patriarchal society for ages, brainwashed and indoctrinated by her sleazy teachers, her lousy parents, her soapy religion, and that overall damaging credo: “Women should follow their husbands”(or whatever creepy male specimen they were connected to). But u took care of that eh? U took advantage of that credo, supported as u felt by what u found on the Internet, in blogs of ur brethren in distress, the lectures of seasoned bdsm gurus, and last but not least, by the encouraging words of those incredibly dominant females already blossoming in the lifestyle, a.k.a. Mommy_Dommes.

As time got by, and both of u grew more and more into a nurturing, compassionate, and ultra strict FLR, something changed for real. She wanted more! She wanted to know if u really would live up to what ur mouth was full of. She wanted u to prove urself. She wanted to find out if it was only She who was playing a role, and that u were indeed the Real Thing, Her slave, Her property, Her “Do as YOU please with me my Goddess”. So She kicked the Mommy-Domme image off Her pedestal, and trampled Her to pieces! All that was left was a woman who wanted the naked Truth!
So, after having u put into some mild restraints, She took u to that place of rest, and ordered u:

Ur world fell apart. In disbelief u tried to look up to ur Goddess, ur ALL. Was this the same woman u only existed for? Was this the woman u gave urself to, as a precious gift? Was this the same woman u lured into that silly exchange of power?

Apparently not, as, pressing her high heel with increasing force onto ur shivering body, she mercilessly insisted:

U looked into the toilet bowl. U saw the remnants and stains of yesterday’s stool, and suddenly remembered u didn’t clean it properly. Something snapped in u. Something left u. First u didn’t realize what it was, as it never had been there in the first place. But then u knew. U were not a slave. U simply were a lousy player. A moron. One of those who only can act AS IF they were into femdom, but actually r seeking a silly woman who’s stupid enough to fall for their act, and start dominating them according to their own wishes and desires, while they don’t give a damn if she’s in it herself or not.

And then it happened! Something u vowed would never happen. No, not to u! But now it did. Disgusted with her, urself and what was in the pot, u resisted and shouted:

She however, being a woman in her own right, adapted and adjusted to an, although fake, femdom situation for a considerable amount of time now, having been encouraged by u to take intensive training classes to physically overpower u when necessary, accustomed to be flawlessly obeyed by u, and full of it, forced u to lay urself down on the floor, hissing:

Then ur fate was sealed. She dismissed u, and left u, to find a real vanilla man.

The story above was triggered by a discussion a few weeks ago about toilet cleaning, in one of those countless soft-core FLR blogs, populated by men and women like the ones from the tale u just read, and one that kept itself busy for a while with the question what to do when a sub says “no”.

Hygiene was seen as a valid reason for refusing to lick the toilet bowl clean.

Here r a few lines/excuses that were used to legally say “no” to a femdom (or one who thinks she is), and still staying convinced that one truly is a slave or sub (i still can’t get used using the term sub without getting the urge to mock and ridicule people using same). And mind u, unedited.
I agree with you re the toilet bowl being a hard limit - there is Femdom and then there is the disgusting that brings with it health issues. I really cannot imagine any Femdom ever wishing to kiss, or be kissed by, a slave who has been ordered to sip from a toilet bowl. YUCK!!!
Even the best toilet bowl cleaners on the market today will not kill all germs, bacteria and viruses. Fecal matter is a very contagious way to spread these. How do you think e coli get so widespread? Hand sanitizers are all over the place today. The problem is that they only kill germs (most of them anyway). Illnesses are caused by viruses, hand sanitizers are useless against them.
Alarmed by all these risks and dangers i jumped in saying:

Geeeez Anon, really? That dirty, risky and dangerous eh? And so filthy too! I think i'll never visit and use a toilet again, and even when only having passed one, i'll thoroughly wash my hands. Maybe take a shower too.
As a reply i got:


Why do you think most women do not sit on toilet seats in bathrooms? They raise themselves up a little to pee, because of contagious germs. The dirtest item in a bathroom-----the flush handle. Most women also use their feet for that. I guess that makes it even more dirty.

Since I wear a chastity device I also must sit down to pee. Either I use a lot of toilet paper to cover the seat, or I also squat a little over the seat. Some urine gets on the seat, I do wipe it up. More reason why toilets are dirty.
And i went:

Come on Anon! Do i really have to repeat myself? I already vowed never to use a toilet again! Yuck!

".....most women do not sit on toilet seats...."? How do u know? R u a peeping tom perhaps? Is that why u r cruising these neighborhoods incognito?

Not surprisingly, his answer never came.

Curious as i am, and having objectivity high on my wish list, i did some research. And u know what? It’s true. There r a lot of dangerous germs lurking in the restrooms of this world, eagerly waiting to infect our slaves with the most ugly diseases, and to make them stray from their holy quest to please their Goddesses. But…… appears there r worse things than that. Especially when compared to those (hopefully) clean bathrooms taken care of by these men working their asses off in a FLR!

Lemme show u a few those:
Vacuum cleaners contain fecal bacteria, including 13 percent with E-coli. And we all know that vacuum cleaning belongs to the daily chores of males in a FLR.

Grocery carts r contaminated with fecal bacteria, even more than the average public bathroom has. How about that eh? Think about that slaves, the next time u secretly take a bite from an apple held in ur hand infested by ur cart handle!
Ur currency is carrying loads of E-coli and MRSA. Huh? Yes slave it does!

The place u take ur Mistress to, to please her even more with exotic dishes. If it’s a popular one, the menu there can pass u the germs of hundreds of people. Awww, how awfull. Oh, and don’t u dare to offer her a drink with a lemon wedge attached to it. Full of E-coli and other fecal bacteria.

Vinyl shower curtains r breeding grounds for pathogens. Zillions of them. And they multiply even faster when u r taking a shower, or giving ur Owner a well deserved wet body massage.

Contact-lens cases r crawling with germs that can even lead to blindness. Just imagine, never able to see the poop of ur Mistress. Unthinkable!

As the strong man that u must be to be able to kneel at Her feet, u should be extra careful using gym equipment, and pay special attention to ur weight-lifting gloves (u do weight lifting no?), infested as they r with MRSA bacteria. Yes Sir, occasionally wiping ur nose or mouth, and bang……… the little rascals r in, damaging ur health considerably.

And concluding this short list of a much longer one, is ur sexy flight attendant. Yes, that lovely creature, and also her ugly colleague of the male gender, r walking germ factories. U can catch shit from both of them a 100x more than when safely staying on the ground. Or doesn’t ur Goddess take u on vacation to her Tahiti cabin, a biz trip to Dubai, and instead leaves u all alone behind, chained to the floor in the kitchen to scrub the tiles?

In conclusion: Coming up with this hygiene crap when ordered to lick clean the toilet bowl, drink ur Mistress morning piss, or the swallow her feces, is yet another lame excuse for not being exposed as a wannabe, a non-slave, a liar, a coward, and a creepy TFTB!

So from now on it will only be like this!

Besides, don’t let urself get fooled by all those silly women and soft-core men who r constantly trying to convince u of how disgusting and appalling golden showers and scat r. And not only by telling u horror stories about those silly hygiene issues, but mostly cos they probably never had the pleasure to experience either of them, and never met a woman who was in it. It’s true that many men don’t have the guts and stomach for it, but take it from a highly experienced one (that would be moi eh?) the reality is this:

And just to help all the eager ones with soft limits to get over the threshold and the need to start scratching the toilet b4 putting their rookie tongue to it, watch this;

Check that part of YT out. Many more over there. Even some where the cat is drinking from the toilet bowl. How about that eh? Take her/him as an example. Learn, practice, and make a habit out of it, dammit!

When i uploaded that video to that FLR site i mentioned above, i also wrote as an encouragement to get some zest back into the hearts of its overly serious and scared participants:
Geeez, come to think of it, there r no risk takers, no adventurers, and no real men left in VFL (Vanilla Femdom Land). All signed up for only soft ssc. All want to be leashed, and be a dog. But to drink from the toilet? To clean it with their tongue? To swallow the delicious scat cooked up in the sacred bowels of their Goddess? Oh no! No,no,no, no, no!!! Definitely NOT! Period! Not even when ordered to by their sublime Owner! She should be ashamed of herself to ask from her property to do such filthy stuff. She must be a selfish bitch just for having the very thought of it. Yeah, a tyrannical, evil, selfish BITCH. That’s what she is! No respect at all for her hubby. No caring either. No responsibility whatsoever. And that should be a called a relationship? A nurturing one?

And to think these males claim to only live for HER, no matter what. LIARS! U dogs should learn from the cats, and start acting like a MAN, ruthlessly demanding from ur Mistress, NEVER to use the toilet again. From now on, till death does u part, U will be her toilet, eagerly drinking her piss and eating her scat straight from her divine source! And also do all the cleaning after. And not with the toilet brush, u hear!
Still hesitant to follow ur dream? Well then, especially for u we developed this:

And now we’re on the topic, ever heard of the Cybelian community? No? Come on. Really? Never heard of that place where women every day piss on and into the mouth of their men? It’s called urine therapy. Not that i would want to belong to that group, but geeeez, what actually DO u know about femdom? Seems u only know about that tiny little corner of it, hidden in the suburbs of d/s land, where narrow-minded bdsm scholars and their proudly baptized acolytes r educating u about a world which is hardly different from that frustrating vanilla world u wanted to escape, but only thought u had left, cos these morons convinced u to believe u had done so by embracing the concept of FLR and other non-femdom movements. Wake up man, and enjoy the real thing. Be a god, drinking nectar and consuming ambrosia, instead of licking off cum left by another man on the pussy of the woman who never wanted to be a domina.
If u r a real slave, and not some doormat to be degraded, humiliated, and dehumanized, then come over, and join the world of feminine femdom. The world were u belong, and once there, never will be able to leave.

As for the rest of u losers? Enjoy the video, and stay were u r. Psaw!

Friday, December 2, 2011

My blood

My blood
Turns calm rivers
Into raging streams
Erodes archaic rock
And poisons dead life
On its way
To revive polluted oceans

My blood
Turns from bleeding red
Into venomous green
Invades unwilling hearts
Converted to worship
My evil intentions

My blood
Is as pure as nuclear waste
Destined to force vanilla prisoners
Into infinite slavery
Free from agony and thought

My blood
Knows no mercy
Only revenge
And torture

My blood ran cold
Tapped by murderous hands
Cremated by cajoling world healers

Well, so they thought

My blood meandered
Stuck in filthy territory
Too many times

My blood
Flows aggressively again
Outside its cancerous bed
Renewed by acid rain

My blood
Accelerated by righteous injustice
Cracks down on
Judges open to corruption
And laws of the foul elite

My blood
Freezes at the graves
Of innocent millions
Slaughtered by indifferent politicians
Greedy captains of industry
And appalling good citizens

My blood
Is heating up
Boiling in ecstasy
Envisioning a world
Where no blood is wasted
But staining
The inviting leather of my whip


Once my blood will leave my veins again
Voluntary and planned
To become one with life giving waters
Carried by fire and ashes
Floating peacefully on turbulent waves
Crossing unknown horizons
To Lilith and Shirah