Saturday, December 31, 2011


I was looking for a more or less appropriate “end of the year” blog when (again) my long term friend and soul sister Rita unconsciously delivered the right subject right at my doorstep. This time she did it by referring, in her own blog, to the life and work of Alexandra David-Néel.

From ancient times on, many thoughts were thought, and many words were written about the immortality of body and/or soul. As everybody knows, the soul got most of the attention. Some tried to locate the soul as a physical entity, but most saw it as some kind of spiritual one. Some, if not most, had a religious background, others were more secular. Either way, i never found a definition or description which could satisfy the hunger of my scientific and spiritual soul combined. The most appalling ones i found in mainstream religions, which purposes, afraid as they were (and still r) to lose their power over the masses, always have been, often in an incredibly hypocritical way, to hide from their followers, the 'mystery' of life and death. As if the patriarchs, priests, scholars and other so called authorities of these religions had knowledge of this ‘mystery’ themselves lol.

The concept of reincarnation, and things alike, does nothing for me. So too r vampires and zombies not my thing when it comes to immortality.

In novels, nowadays movies and tv-series, immortality is a hot item as well. Juicy example: Rider Haggard's trilogy about the ancient Ayesha :) Very nice, entertaining, and at times capable of triggering in me a few interesting thoughts/ideas/fantasies about living forever, but nothing substantial.

It's a subject which has my huge interest. But i'm trying to see immortality from different angles than the usual, common, and known ones, a.k.a. the vanilla ones. The only and inevitable connection with the vanilla approach is of cors, that i’m a human being (well, some think i’m a demonic witch or something) who lives in this particular time frame, even if we would consider time only a human invention, and not a fourth dimension for instance.

So i take info which is and becomes available to me from all kinds of sources (science, uncommon sense, etc), and try to look at in different ways, using different paradigms, maybe even a fantasy, a dream, whatever. I take what is scientifically known, but, to further my knowledge, i dismiss to follow the methodologies and rituals of mainstream scientists. I gladly leave that to them, trusting they will timely publish their new discoveries when they find them, for me to use same in my own erratic and eclectic way.

Contrary to popular belief, from a biological, chemical, physical, and medical point of view, in theory there r no real major obstacles to obtain immortality in the far future, or at least create a situation in which living a 1000 years on average, will be as common as it is now to reach 70, 80, or a little more. To illustrate this a bit i randomly selected 2 videos which in my opinion shouldn’t be too difficult to understand for reasonably educated and/or intelligent people.

However, in case u belong to those who couldn’t care less about what’s going on in the field of aging, or r too lazy to make an effort to learn something about it, i would advise to simply forget about them and keep on going with whatever u r doing, joining the rest of the masses, and later die peacefully, in pain, or in agony, ignorant of all the possibilities u’ve lost on ur way to ur grave.


The picture painted above will be a reality long after i’m gone. So, while some great scientists currently keep themselves busy with solving for instance that darn problem to keep a certain absolutely necessary plasma alive, for our body to be able to function well once it’s approaching its 600 years of existence, i’m more interested in finding a way to create some kind of afterlife in which i still will be able to enjoy femdom long after my physical body ( i mean the one that’s now still visible and touchable on planet Earth) has completely decomposed and nothing has been left of it. And that’s what, among other things, i’m trying to accomplish now. Sounds crazy huh? Yeah i’m sure it does. But i’m excited about it. So i do it. Besides, given my personality, i rather fail in doing what i want to do, than to sit still, waiting in docility, fear, or boredom, for, in this case, some deity, or whatever (super)natural power, to decide whether i’ll burn in Hell, will be allowed to enter Heaven, or simply rot away when the time has come to leave this life.
It’s quite a challenge tho, as i rarely meet someone who’s trying to do the same. But when i do, it’s bouncing off ideas and speculations like fireworks.

To get a glimpse in what kind of unknown trial and error brain draining and thinking world i’m moving around when trying to find a way to build and manage my afterlife, maybe an analogy of what it is NOT, will help.

There r people who believe aliens exist. Aliens of cors thought to be creatures not from planet Earth, but from outside. That’s why we call them aliens no? Like they would call us. Hmmm, maybe not. Given the vastness of our universe, and all the parallel universes that come with it, only an absolute fool would say that we humans can be the only living and/or intelligent organisms in named vastness. And although it’s not unthinkable that somewhere there could be creatures more or less looking and living like we do, i still find it remarkable, if not laughable, that people mostly think of aliens as, in one way or the other, comparable to us in shape, ways of thinking, fighting, etc. Seems that many humans r way too moronic and ignorant to comprehend that the probability of this is more of the opposite. Just take for instance gravity. A living being on a planet with let’s say 100 times the gravity of Earth, would never be able to walk like us, and probably would look more like a pancake or a napkin. Get it? I don’t want to take the usual, the known, and agreed upon, as my point of reference. I don’t want to take what seems natural to me for granted as the truth. I’m looking for something which doesn’t fit my thinking at all!

And it can be done. Yes, against all odds. I did something like that when i created feminine femdom, and disconnected myself from the vanilla world, its rules, morals, and thinking, and only kept using and taking from that world to further develop my new world of femdom. It wasn’t easy to accomplish this, many resisted and slandered me and my ideas of what femdom is and what it is not (and still do, lol), but it taught me the first steps to this new deliciously challenging project. But it’s like a devilish and horribly frustrating crusade as well. A crusade into the unknown of the unknown, aiming at not gaining knowledge as we define it, but something different. Maybe even the opposite of it. This sounds crazy to u? Again? Grrrrr!

Let me finish then with 3 quotes. Two of Arthur Clarke, and one of Einstein. Maybe those will penetrate a part of ur foggy and rusty brain:
“The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible.”

“How inappropriate to call this planet earth when it is quite clearly Ocean.”

"You cannot achieve a new goal by applying the same level of thinking that got you where you are today."

And if this is still not enough for ya, then ponder this one of Golda Meir:

“Moses dragged us through the desert for 40 years to bring us to the one place in the Middle East where there was no oil.”

Sunday, December 18, 2011


Picture this: U finally made it. U finally convinced ur better half to take the lead in ur household. After years and years of frustration, begging, endless discussions, manipulation, bdsm gifts, dragging her to so called fetish events, and even threats to divorce her, visit a pro-domme, or take, what we in this part of the world call, a By-side, she finally agreed to dominate u, to make u her slave, subbie, dog, pig, servant, butler, knight, of whatever had spooked through ur brain and groin, u fantasized about or dreamt of.

Yes the time has come now, for u to be only there for Her, for Her desires, Her wishes, Her needs, or any other thing which could pop up in Her mind for u to do. Even kneeling at her feet! Yes, even that! But like the strong man that u r, u had no doubts, no problems, and no hesitations, to only live for Her. Joyfully, eagerly, and totally aroused, u do the dishes, the laundry, the ironing, the vacuum cleaning, and make the bed. Running errands, kicking ass of all her undesired stalkers, licking her boyfriend’s sperm off her boots? Those things can only excite u, make u feel alive, and give u purpose to live. Every day, without exception, u r there for Her, ur Mistress, ur Goddess, ur All. There simply is nothing u wouldn’t do for Her. Ur life is entirely now in Her hands. To do with it whatever She would want to do with it. U r completely fulfilled and happy. And will be, every day, weeks, months and years to come. Till death does u part. Yes, that’s it! And if She would want u to die for Her, u wouldn’t hesitate a nanosecond, and die with a smile on ur face, and a hard-on of unheard proportions. No limits.

So She leashes u, and let u lick Her feet while watching the News. She spanks u with Her hairbrush, She gags u with Her soiled panties, and teaches u how to spoil Her girlfriends. And when u fail? Corner time for u boy! Writing thousands of lines like………..”I will always obey my Mistress, because I’m her devoted slave, and She is my Goddess”. And much much more. Just to make u happy.

And what u love most of ur Goddess, is that She’s so creative and adventurous, constantly finding new ways to please u even more. For instance, she bought u the latest chastity device, and a steel collar snugly hidden under that other collar when going to work. She also makes u wear pink panties, after having thrown all ur manly underwear into the dumpster.

Life couldn’t be better.

But actually she hates all this. She never felt like a domina. She never wouldn’t have wanted to be awakened to one either. She’s just playing along with ur morbid desires, cos she loves u, and wants to give to u what u said u needed so much.

But u moron became convinced She had changed for real. That up till now She just was hiding the REAL She, that woman driven by that natural dominant streak in Her, oppressed as it was by that damned patriarchal society for ages, brainwashed and indoctrinated by her sleazy teachers, her lousy parents, her soapy religion, and that overall damaging credo: “Women should follow their husbands”(or whatever creepy male specimen they were connected to). But u took care of that eh? U took advantage of that credo, supported as u felt by what u found on the Internet, in blogs of ur brethren in distress, the lectures of seasoned bdsm gurus, and last but not least, by the encouraging words of those incredibly dominant females already blossoming in the lifestyle, a.k.a. Mommy_Dommes.

As time got by, and both of u grew more and more into a nurturing, compassionate, and ultra strict FLR, something changed for real. She wanted more! She wanted to know if u really would live up to what ur mouth was full of. She wanted u to prove urself. She wanted to find out if it was only She who was playing a role, and that u were indeed the Real Thing, Her slave, Her property, Her “Do as YOU please with me my Goddess”. So She kicked the Mommy-Domme image off Her pedestal, and trampled Her to pieces! All that was left was a woman who wanted the naked Truth!
So, after having u put into some mild restraints, She took u to that place of rest, and ordered u:

Ur world fell apart. In disbelief u tried to look up to ur Goddess, ur ALL. Was this the same woman u only existed for? Was this the woman u gave urself to, as a precious gift? Was this the same woman u lured into that silly exchange of power?

Apparently not, as, pressing her high heel with increasing force onto ur shivering body, she mercilessly insisted:

U looked into the toilet bowl. U saw the remnants and stains of yesterday’s stool, and suddenly remembered u didn’t clean it properly. Something snapped in u. Something left u. First u didn’t realize what it was, as it never had been there in the first place. But then u knew. U were not a slave. U simply were a lousy player. A moron. One of those who only can act AS IF they were into femdom, but actually r seeking a silly woman who’s stupid enough to fall for their act, and start dominating them according to their own wishes and desires, while they don’t give a damn if she’s in it herself or not.

And then it happened! Something u vowed would never happen. No, not to u! But now it did. Disgusted with her, urself and what was in the pot, u resisted and shouted:

She however, being a woman in her own right, adapted and adjusted to an, although fake, femdom situation for a considerable amount of time now, having been encouraged by u to take intensive training classes to physically overpower u when necessary, accustomed to be flawlessly obeyed by u, and full of it, forced u to lay urself down on the floor, hissing:

Then ur fate was sealed. She dismissed u, and left u, to find a real vanilla man.

The story above was triggered by a discussion a few weeks ago about toilet cleaning, in one of those countless soft-core FLR blogs, populated by men and women like the ones from the tale u just read, and one that kept itself busy for a while with the question what to do when a sub says “no”.

Hygiene was seen as a valid reason for refusing to lick the toilet bowl clean.

Here r a few lines/excuses that were used to legally say “no” to a femdom (or one who thinks she is), and still staying convinced that one truly is a slave or sub (i still can’t get used using the term sub without getting the urge to mock and ridicule people using same). And mind u, unedited.
I agree with you re the toilet bowl being a hard limit - there is Femdom and then there is the disgusting that brings with it health issues. I really cannot imagine any Femdom ever wishing to kiss, or be kissed by, a slave who has been ordered to sip from a toilet bowl. YUCK!!!
Even the best toilet bowl cleaners on the market today will not kill all germs, bacteria and viruses. Fecal matter is a very contagious way to spread these. How do you think e coli get so widespread? Hand sanitizers are all over the place today. The problem is that they only kill germs (most of them anyway). Illnesses are caused by viruses, hand sanitizers are useless against them.
Alarmed by all these risks and dangers i jumped in saying:

Geeeez Anon, really? That dirty, risky and dangerous eh? And so filthy too! I think i'll never visit and use a toilet again, and even when only having passed one, i'll thoroughly wash my hands. Maybe take a shower too.
As a reply i got:


Why do you think most women do not sit on toilet seats in bathrooms? They raise themselves up a little to pee, because of contagious germs. The dirtest item in a bathroom-----the flush handle. Most women also use their feet for that. I guess that makes it even more dirty.

Since I wear a chastity device I also must sit down to pee. Either I use a lot of toilet paper to cover the seat, or I also squat a little over the seat. Some urine gets on the seat, I do wipe it up. More reason why toilets are dirty.
And i went:

Come on Anon! Do i really have to repeat myself? I already vowed never to use a toilet again! Yuck!

".....most women do not sit on toilet seats...."? How do u know? R u a peeping tom perhaps? Is that why u r cruising these neighborhoods incognito?

Not surprisingly, his answer never came.

Curious as i am, and having objectivity high on my wish list, i did some research. And u know what? It’s true. There r a lot of dangerous germs lurking in the restrooms of this world, eagerly waiting to infect our slaves with the most ugly diseases, and to make them stray from their holy quest to please their Goddesses. But…… appears there r worse things than that. Especially when compared to those (hopefully) clean bathrooms taken care of by these men working their asses off in a FLR!

Lemme show u a few those:
Vacuum cleaners contain fecal bacteria, including 13 percent with E-coli. And we all know that vacuum cleaning belongs to the daily chores of males in a FLR.

Grocery carts r contaminated with fecal bacteria, even more than the average public bathroom has. How about that eh? Think about that slaves, the next time u secretly take a bite from an apple held in ur hand infested by ur cart handle!
Ur currency is carrying loads of E-coli and MRSA. Huh? Yes slave it does!

The place u take ur Mistress to, to please her even more with exotic dishes. If it’s a popular one, the menu there can pass u the germs of hundreds of people. Awww, how awfull. Oh, and don’t u dare to offer her a drink with a lemon wedge attached to it. Full of E-coli and other fecal bacteria.

Vinyl shower curtains r breeding grounds for pathogens. Zillions of them. And they multiply even faster when u r taking a shower, or giving ur Owner a well deserved wet body massage.

Contact-lens cases r crawling with germs that can even lead to blindness. Just imagine, never able to see the poop of ur Mistress. Unthinkable!

As the strong man that u must be to be able to kneel at Her feet, u should be extra careful using gym equipment, and pay special attention to ur weight-lifting gloves (u do weight lifting no?), infested as they r with MRSA bacteria. Yes Sir, occasionally wiping ur nose or mouth, and bang……… the little rascals r in, damaging ur health considerably.

And concluding this short list of a much longer one, is ur sexy flight attendant. Yes, that lovely creature, and also her ugly colleague of the male gender, r walking germ factories. U can catch shit from both of them a 100x more than when safely staying on the ground. Or doesn’t ur Goddess take u on vacation to her Tahiti cabin, a biz trip to Dubai, and instead leaves u all alone behind, chained to the floor in the kitchen to scrub the tiles?

In conclusion: Coming up with this hygiene crap when ordered to lick clean the toilet bowl, drink ur Mistress morning piss, or the swallow her feces, is yet another lame excuse for not being exposed as a wannabe, a non-slave, a liar, a coward, and a creepy TFTB!

So from now on it will only be like this!

Besides, don’t let urself get fooled by all those silly women and soft-core men who r constantly trying to convince u of how disgusting and appalling golden showers and scat r. And not only by telling u horror stories about those silly hygiene issues, but mostly cos they probably never had the pleasure to experience either of them, and never met a woman who was in it. It’s true that many men don’t have the guts and stomach for it, but take it from a highly experienced one (that would be moi eh?) the reality is this:

And just to help all the eager ones with soft limits to get over the threshold and the need to start scratching the toilet b4 putting their rookie tongue to it, watch this;

Check that part of YT out. Many more over there. Even some where the cat is drinking from the toilet bowl. How about that eh? Take her/him as an example. Learn, practice, and make a habit out of it, dammit!

When i uploaded that video to that FLR site i mentioned above, i also wrote as an encouragement to get some zest back into the hearts of its overly serious and scared participants:
Geeez, come to think of it, there r no risk takers, no adventurers, and no real men left in VFL (Vanilla Femdom Land). All signed up for only soft ssc. All want to be leashed, and be a dog. But to drink from the toilet? To clean it with their tongue? To swallow the delicious scat cooked up in the sacred bowels of their Goddess? Oh no! No,no,no, no, no!!! Definitely NOT! Period! Not even when ordered to by their sublime Owner! She should be ashamed of herself to ask from her property to do such filthy stuff. She must be a selfish bitch just for having the very thought of it. Yeah, a tyrannical, evil, selfish BITCH. That’s what she is! No respect at all for her hubby. No caring either. No responsibility whatsoever. And that should be a called a relationship? A nurturing one?

And to think these males claim to only live for HER, no matter what. LIARS! U dogs should learn from the cats, and start acting like a MAN, ruthlessly demanding from ur Mistress, NEVER to use the toilet again. From now on, till death does u part, U will be her toilet, eagerly drinking her piss and eating her scat straight from her divine source! And also do all the cleaning after. And not with the toilet brush, u hear!
Still hesitant to follow ur dream? Well then, especially for u we developed this:

And now we’re on the topic, ever heard of the Cybelian community? No? Come on. Really? Never heard of that place where women every day piss on and into the mouth of their men? It’s called urine therapy. Not that i would want to belong to that group, but geeeez, what actually DO u know about femdom? Seems u only know about that tiny little corner of it, hidden in the suburbs of d/s land, where narrow-minded bdsm scholars and their proudly baptized acolytes r educating u about a world which is hardly different from that frustrating vanilla world u wanted to escape, but only thought u had left, cos these morons convinced u to believe u had done so by embracing the concept of FLR and other non-femdom movements. Wake up man, and enjoy the real thing. Be a god, drinking nectar and consuming ambrosia, instead of licking off cum left by another man on the pussy of the woman who never wanted to be a domina.
If u r a real slave, and not some doormat to be degraded, humiliated, and dehumanized, then come over, and join the world of feminine femdom. The world were u belong, and once there, never will be able to leave.

As for the rest of u losers? Enjoy the video, and stay were u r. Psaw!

Friday, December 2, 2011

My blood

My blood
Turns calm rivers
Into raging streams
Erodes archaic rock
And poisons dead life
On its way
To revive polluted oceans

My blood
Turns from bleeding red
Into venomous green
Invades unwilling hearts
Converted to worship
My evil intentions

My blood
Is as pure as nuclear waste
Destined to force vanilla prisoners
Into infinite slavery
Free from agony and thought

My blood
Knows no mercy
Only revenge
And torture

My blood ran cold
Tapped by murderous hands
Cremated by cajoling world healers

Well, so they thought

My blood meandered
Stuck in filthy territory
Too many times

My blood
Flows aggressively again
Outside its cancerous bed
Renewed by acid rain

My blood
Accelerated by righteous injustice
Cracks down on
Judges open to corruption
And laws of the foul elite

My blood
Freezes at the graves
Of innocent millions
Slaughtered by indifferent politicians
Greedy captains of industry
And appalling good citizens

My blood
Is heating up
Boiling in ecstasy
Envisioning a world
Where no blood is wasted
But staining
The inviting leather of my whip


Once my blood will leave my veins again
Voluntary and planned
To become one with life giving waters
Carried by fire and ashes
Floating peacefully on turbulent waves
Crossing unknown horizons
To Lilith and Shirah

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The angry young man

The following is all Raposo’s fault. It was he who informed me about some gossip going on about me in Sara’s site. Naturally i couldn’t resist having a peek. He knew that of cors, that sly wolffox. After having had my fill of the somewhat semi sophisticated and overly academically babble regarding the alleged benefits of moderation or something, and intrigued by the remark of Sara’s companion that my blog was not his cup of tea, i hastily wandered to the blog of that person to see what kind of tea was in his cup.

Contrary to his accusation that i never had read anything else from his site, which btw he’s sharing with his bride, than the first entry (u can read the juicy details of that later), i absorbed a rather big chunk of his rather “more of the same” blog, and came to the conclusion, that, although they were in the very beginning of some sort of vanilla FLR with little perspective, they were a nice, innocent, and highly agreeable couple, very much in love with each other, and eager to explore the more kinky (what a horrible word eh?) side of their marriage. Well, so it seemed to me.

Oh, b4 i go on with this soap, which again is totally Raposo’s doing, u should know, that como custumber, i won’t reveal their names nor the url of their blog. And if some of u smartasses still would find out, don’t come to me, but go to Raposo, cos that too will be his fault.

And i left everything as it was published on that site. All stayed in its original form. No editing, including their(lol) numerous typos, whatsoever.

Ok. Let’s move on, and continue to make this short story long. As u probably know already, i’m one who believes there’s no way femdom could exist without humor. Especially my humor can’t be missed. Yeah u r right, at times it can be a bit spicy ( for the more squeamish among us a bit too spicy even), but always coming to u with the best of intentions, never mean or meant to hurt. Y’all know that eh? I knew it! U all understand me so well all the time. U r great! Really! And i mean it too. U can trust me on that.

So i commented:

This is all so deliciously casual. So "oh let's have some fun in our life". Which of cors is a good thing. Just go on with ur kinky adventures in vanilla femdom land.

But Cleopatra was far from femdom u know? Maybe therefore u used CleoToptra instead? Rofl.

Go and read some more of this illustrious duo, b4 u convince urself u had left ur vanilla life.

It goes without saying, i surely am not ur cup of tea. And i looked into my crystal ball, and u know what? There will be no tea party ever.

Oh, and the next time u like to exchange some thoughts about my political views, ideas on femdom, and anything else to gossip about, give my regards to Sara The Ultimate Submissive Alpha Male (grin).

Granted, it was a bit spicy indeed, but completely snowed over by genuine humor of the purest kind. Oh, and b4 i forget,. For those of u who refused to pay attention in school, the other part of that duo was Marcus Antonius.

And what did i get in return (sigh)?

Whatever...honestly i don't give a shit what you think.

CleoTOPtra was chosen merely because CleoPATra was already taken on a board that we frequent and we wanted the usernames to be the same on both sites...not that it is any of your fucking business. Any time you want to compare your knowledge of REAL history with me, bring it on. I have studied with some of the most respected and reknowned scholars in the world. Good luck with that. i am well aware of just how Femdom she probably was or was not. My best guess (and that is all that historians can do because the real woman did not have a blog), is that she was semi-Femdom and in other ways not - such was the way of the world then.

Since you chose to write on our very first post instead of reading more about where we are now it is obvious all you want to do is be a troll. Go troll somewhere else.

BTW, if you read what i ACTUALLY said on Saratoga's blog is that while i do not agree with you politically (and you just proved his point about your narrow-mindedness), i AM willing to look past it and glean other useful and interesting tidbits. much for that. I guess the only thing you want is for EVERYONE to conform to YOUR definition of what Femdom is and that YOUR way is the ONLY way. Bullshit. We are individuals each with their own thing they bring to the table. Tea party? Never entered my mind. It must have really chapped your ass that i dared to say that i did not agree with your politics.

And lastly, in case you did not know it, the name of our blog is "From Vanilla to Kinky" - thereby implying that it is both vanilla AND/OR kinky at any given time. We are fine with that. Go ahead and enjoy the way you live your life but it is pathetic you would choose to come here to demean they way we choose to live ours.

Kiss my ass.

Love and kisses,
(name withheld as promised)

Now that was a bit nasty, to say the least no? But, in case u haven’t noticed, with a touch of ambivalence. Maybe a twisted one, but it was undeniably there. This guy would have followed me unconditionally to the Labyrinth with a snap of my finger. Of cors i never could have done such a terrible thing to his delicate bride.

Then he wrote to his readers:

To the readers,

Sorry for stooping the the level of the last commenter. Apparently she is in a feud of sorts with a few bloggers whom I respect and I "hurt her feelings" when I commented on one of those blogs that, while I did not agree with her politics (decidedly radical), I did glean some insight via her observations on the topic of FemDoom. She must have very thin skin considering she is supposedly a rough tough Domme. The funny thing is that she has a history of similar run-ins with several of the bloggers I respect so I guess I should be flattered.

If you take the time to read through the rest of the blog I hope you will see the kinder, gentler, side of me. Don't let a troll spoil it for you.

(Name withheld as promised)

Hmmmmm, not very gentleman like either, no? I understood his struggle tho.

Still in a good mood tho, i replied:

".....i don't give a shit what you think."? Really? Then why come up with a lengthy, even edited, reply, larded with defense and explanations?

"Since you chose to write on our very first post instead of reading more about where we are now....."? U sure i didn’t? Based on scientific research maybe? Nah, u were simply assuming. That’s what u did. Or was it ur best guess perhaps, which is, like u said, all that historians can do?

Hmmm........."Shit. Kiss my ass (twice). Bullshit. Chapped ur ass. Fucking business. Troll. Narrow-mindedness." Is that really the way scholars converse and express themselves these days? Tssss, tsskkkk.

And psssst, i let the ancient Marcus Antonius read ur first as well as ur second (edited) comment. U know what he whispered to me then? "Ayesha, although i still am mourning her death, i’m so glad Κλεοπάτρα has been spared from reading foul language like that"

I’m sure u agree there was no spice in this at all. Maybe i was a little bit lecturing this good willing and resisting young man, but not more than that. And all with the good intention to lead him away from his ill chosen path.

So what came next? (Parental guidance strongly advised)

You are so full of shit.

Nothing has been "edited" - how can someone "edit" their own reply??? I merely corrected a few typos and added a few new things the occured to me...all of which took a few minutes - tops. Big fucking deal.

Yes - I am quite sure you never read much of the rest of the blog and you have yet to provide one shred of evidence to the contrary. Want to prove me wrong? Then comment in a thoughtful, substantial, and need I daresay a respectful way, on the topics that other posts address and I will listen to your sage wisdom. Otherwise, you are just a troll.

And, no, I never said that "all" historians do is guess. What I said, or at least heavily implied, is that sometimes historians have to guess as to certain aspects of history. DUH!!! Why else do you think that historians often disagree with each other? Nobody really knows the inner dynamics of ANY ancient person. It is difficult enough to know the details of the events themselves. Stop pretending to be an expert on Marcus Antonius or Cleopatra for that matter. You are not. Neither am I. Much of that time and how they REALLY were as PERSONS is clouded in mystery.

So Marcus whispered to you? REALLY? You are either a liar or a nut - or both. Take your pick. Foul language by me? Your snarky comments started it. I never said anything against you except except I don't agree with your politics. Big fucking deal. If you are such a bad ass Domme then why do you have such a thin skin? The subs you torture are far stronger than that. Wimp.

And guess what? Κλεοπάτρα heard plenty of foul language in her day and Marcus never fucking whispered to you. Wow, I am VERY impressed (not) you threw a bit of Greek in there. Google is great, isn't it?

Go crawl into your hole and leave us alone. We didn't hurt you or demean you or your lifestyle. Throw your rocks in a different direction.

Future comments from you will not be published unless you want to comment on a topic in a manner that is respectful (read: criticism is fine and sometimes even appreciated as that is how we learn).

Lastly, I only said "kiss my ass" once. Not twice. Go back and see for yourself. Such is the wonderous powers of your observation.

But now that you mention it, I will say it again. Kiss my ass. There - NOW I have said it twice.

Fuck you,

(Name withheld as promised)

P.S. Is it REALLY that difficult to write full words instead of being lazy and resorting to text-speak? U? UR? Really? Get a fucking clue and write in proper language. There is a time and a place to write in text-speak. U know when that is? When UR fucking texting!

Noticing his staggering anger and dangerously losing control, i tried soothing the situation by writing the following calming words:

Blaming me now for ur foul language? Okay, ok. U r not the first male not to be man enough to stand tall for his own actions. So i’ll carry ur load. I'm not so sure if ur mom will accept this for an excuse tho. And neither will Marcus. Not that he told me this himself eh? It was Lilith who informed me about this, while we had our daily cup of black tea.

Now, was this not a fine criticism or what? Of cors it was. I'm sure u loved it too, and were overwhelmed by it from appreciation. And if not? Well then u must be a trolley.

Now repeat after me: "We moderate our comments but never edit them and always publish them unless the commenter wants to say something to us privately and asks that their comment not be published...." Remember that one? Very good. I just knew u would, and, like the true foul language using gentleman that u r, would have no other choice than to keep ur word honorably.

La verità è il tutto :)

And waddaya know? It worked! Well….um….only for a fleeting moment. But still it was something, no? Here goes:

Oh I take it back - I will publish your idiotic comment just because it is too delicious.

You bet I am blaming you for my "foul language" - you have been the source of my provocation. And until you write a thoughtful, respectful, and meaningful comment on other posts we have written, you will remain the troll that you are. Go ahead and prove it to me. Prove that your insights are worth more than the dirt on a little child's hands. Give me something to work with.

Oh so now it waas "Lilith" who talks to you. How convenient. Are you sure it wasn't "Bozo the Clown"? He is just as real and certainly more relevent. At least Bozo had good TV ratings and gave joy to others instead of merely catering to the deluded fantasies of radical femanists. Lilith? Really? You really are a nutjob.

My mother would be perfectly fine with anything I have written to you (actually her words would be far more scathing) so don't even go there. Careful, Ayesha, your ignorance is - once again - showing.

I see you are still writing in text-speak. I'm impressed. You get to be lazy AND pretend to be an intellectual at the same time. Get it through your fucking pea brain - we are not texting. It makes U seem like a moron. R U getting it? I bet not.

The truth is the whole? You wouldn't know it if it hit you in the ass. I am actually an Italian citizen so stop trying to impress me with quoting Italian, Greek, Latin, or whatever language you choose. Go back to UR comfort zone and use American text-speak.

Let me add one caveat to my quoted statement about always publishing comments. That does not apply to trolls.

So crawl back into your dark place and pretend to converse with "Lilith" while you "both" (you and your imagination) glory in your superiority over those of us who have newly embraced a lifstyle that does not conform to your twisted and narrow vision of FemDom.

You know the beauty of the dirt on litle child's hand? It is so easily washed and forgotten.

So now that I have explained to you the caveat about trolls and publishing comments, please do us both a favor and write something meaningful (without rancor - play nice) on one of our posts or leave us alone. We haven't peed in your sandbox so kindly stop shitting in ours.

(This time there was no name to withhold)

In came Anonymous, in need to lay an egg as well, saying:

To Ayesha,
I don't mean to interject however, I enjoy reading this blog. However if you had any iota to speak in a clear and functional manner then a part of me wouldn't cringe at the way you write. Now, dare I ask, why are you badgering, harassing and/or just annoying people on THEIR (note that word THEIR) blogs. Personally, I feel annoyed that you would do such a thing. And another note, the foul language (even though at times I do use it myself) has its place. I am still vexed of how you write but that is neither here nor there. None of us (reading the comments and posts) know if you are educated thoroughly or not, or if you spend too much time on your Android, IPhone or other smart phone madly texting away. Just from reading, what I do know is that you are an annoying child who does idiotic things for attention. Bash me if you want, I truely don't care.
By the way on your first initial comment.... have you ever REALLY done anything kinky in your life or wanted to explore the kinkier side of yourself with your partner? Honestly, how dare you judge someone else! Here's a little note, try being with an absolute SADISTIC Femdom who doesn't give two pences about what you have to think or say, THEN write in your little monologue.
Another thing, if you are hearing voices of ancient people, you may need to go to a doctor for that, also using Google translate doesn't make your more educated, but it does help in times. And if I'm not mistaken, Κλεοπάτρα is Greek, not Egyptian. I'm just saying. Know your languages before you post them dear. In closing, bring people's mother's into a conversation isn't really that.... how do I say.... kind. If someone said something about your Mother, would you like it? (I am assuming that you have a good relationship with your Mother.) So I ask of you, Ayesha, please if you don't have anything worth commenting without using said foul language, please don't post anything at all and let the readers just read the posts and/or comment. Reading your tripe of phone lingo is taxing on my mind. Thank you

(Name withheld as promised)

Wow! If that was not a clear and confused lecture with some nasty leading questions, then what is? My lecture to (name withheld as promised) looks terribly pale to this one, no?

So after i had let sink it in, and caught my breath again, i shyly replied………and here comes in the role of Raposo, cos this comment, and all that came after it, never made it, never were published, never were made available to the readers of that site. And Raposo is one of those readers u know, insisting to read my prose. So what could i do? He’s a dear friend too. And on top of that, we both can’t stand moderation, remember? Besides, how could i not do his bidding? But whatever it is, Raposo is to blame for the very existence of me publishing here what was denied elsewhere. It’s all on him! I’m innocent. Free of any guilt. Consider this a disclaimer of mega proportions.

Read further at ur own risk!

@ (Name withheld as promised) Anonymous

Bash u? Mo chreach! Now why would i want to do such a nasty thing like that? On the contrary: Большое спасибо за информацию. But then again, no hay que ahogarse en un vaso de agua eh?

Yes, reality can be quite a handful, if not a total bitch! Did u know there r people who think they know what is real or not? Unbelievable! U want to have a taste? Go to and especially watch the video there. Of cors u also could read my prose. mean if u would be willing to cope with my terrible spelling and grammar, lol.

" go to a doctor for that...."? Sure, sure, praise the shrink, and pass the neuroleptics. On the other hand, did u know that Lilith left that pitiful vanilla duo long b4 they couldn’t resist to take a chunk from the forbidden fruit, and thus avoided to share their lame fate of becoming mortal? She’s still among us u know, doing her thing like she did eons ago. As a matter of fact she is the first femdom. Of cors, not many would recognize her as such, as the Patriarch did his usual utmost to make people believe she’s a demon, mercilessly devouring babies and doing other awfully demonic stuff. He succeeded doing this pretty well too, as u well know, that fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt, no?

My mother is dead. And besides, (name withheld as promised) didn’t care at all as, like he said, his "mother would be perfectly fine with anything......"

Languages? Ah yes, good to have Google. I’m sure u can find all the little non-english things i brought up in between.

Ayesha vachangoti nyesu :)

And to (name withheld as promised) i wrote:

Oh (name withheld as promised)! Who r u? What r u trying to do to me? How could u? U know i'm innocent! U know i'm a saint!!

But i understand. And as the true Italian citizen that u r, i’m sure u know what impedit ira animum, ne possit cernere verum means. But it happens u know. It truly does. As u very well know.

Anyway, like (name withheld as promised) Anonymous, u r invited to cruise my blog a little. Beware tho to remember the great words of Cato: Legere enim et non intellegere neglegere est.

Arrivederci bambino mio ;)

Then, completely unexpected and out of the blue, bride (name withheld as promised) entered the arena:

Greetings Ayesha,
How dare you come to my blog and insult my sub and indirectly and directly insult me. I've never read your blog, nor have I ever heard of you until I woke up and read the horrible conversation within the comments of this post.

I'm sure you are a respectful and kind person in your own way and maybe this is just a bad day. I don't know you, you don't know me.

Please do not post on our blog again unless it is done out of wanting to help slubby and me and others with your good insightfulness and it is done with respect.

I wish you goodness and no harm.


(Name withheld as promised)

Now that wasn’t too bad eh? Even a bit ladylike. Elegantly phrased and without using any foul language, name calling. or insinuations. A bit angry yes, but that’s understandable, as it was her lover that went over the edge. It’s only natural she would try to defend him, no? Truth to be told, she could even become my friend. So, out of courtesy, and filled to my corpus amygdaloideum with good will, i wrote as my final contribution:

Insulting is relative (name withheld as promised). What's an insult in the eyes of one person could come across like good humor to another, so on.

I'm one of those who hardly can be insulted or offended. Especially in Cyberspace this would be virtually impossible. But since u brought it up, take a look at the language ur sub was/is using in this thread. Could some of his attitude and phrasing qualify perhaps for being called insulting in ur eyes?

Help? Well, i'm not always in the mood to help people. Neither to do them harm. And besides, i hate traditional teaching. But my presence on the Net is partly motivated by helping people to find their way in FemdomLand indeed. The thing is tho, most can't handle the truth about the core of their own personality, rather deny same, and continue to fool themselves, often supported by other desperate seekers, claiming to be the femdom or slave they never will be. Of cors, when i'm pointing that out to them, granted, at times larded with a bit of sarcasm and malicious pleasure, they r really getting pissed off. Even more so when they discover i was right, but can't bring themselves to admit same. Then name calling and use of foul language will follow soon as well. It never varies, lol.

But there's also another reason for my kind of attitude and behavior in cases like this. I simply can't stand people who certainly could have a wonderful FLR or WLH relationship, but keep insisting it's a femdom one, claiming they have the right to call their relationship, even if it only touches a few elements of a 24/7/365 femdom life, whatever they want it to call. And yes, that's what i could call an insult for those people who r genuinely into femdom, were born for such a life, and never go from sub-and domspace, as vanilla people use to call it, to some other space. For my people femdom is not an experiment, a try out, or a kinky outlet to spice up vanilla sex.

Dare? U r right. U don't know me. If u did, u never would have dared to ask me that question. Go visit my blog, and find out about me. That’s if u would be interested at all of cors.

Namaste & L'Chaim, (name withheld as promised)!

Now, wasn’t that ladylike as well or what? A great exchange between two totally different but respectful women. That’s what these last two comments were. Examples of how people should interact and communicate!

In the meantime Raposo had sent something to them as well, and, although the bride and groom never published his contribution either, this blog wouldn’t be complete without it. So, without any further delay, here it is, and archived forever.

(Name withheld as promised), where are the insults you see? I wonder in what way you were indirectly and directly insulted by Ayesha.

It was quite a show by your husband. He fell apart as soon as a real person entered and disturbed his happy sandbox.

"If you take the time to read through the rest of the blog I hope you will see the kinder, gentler, side of me."

Not interested in seeing that. Ayesha's presence on the internet brings out much more interesting aspects of people's personalities.

Pfffffft……….. finally! It’s 03.45 am now. See how dedicated i am, and always there to serve u with the best and latest breaking news? I should get the Pulitzer Prize for that, dammit.

One last note. If anything, this blog clearly demonstrates how foolish moderation actually is. Especially when Raposo is around, as he will take care that all will come out in the open, no matter what, one way or the other. But, as y’all have noticed, only in a humorous, constructive, harmless, neat, compassionate, polite, and utterly lenient way.

One very last note. Although this was an eloquent example of QED, it wouldn’t hurt our community if the ones who have moderation in place, to moderate themselves once in a while.

PS. I just got note (guess from whom, hehehe), that (name withheld as promised) or his bride (name withheld as promised), removed from their site all and everything related to all of this. Yeah, he/she/they must have felt the sword of Damocles was upon him/her/them. Hmmmmm, maybe he/she/they picked up my suggestion even b4 it hit the air? Smart move!

Thursday, October 27, 2011


"Comment moderation has been enabled. All comments must be approved by the blog author."

That’s what one occasionally (or should that be often?) can read when trying to comment on the blog content of one’s choice. Now why on earth would a blog owner want to moderate comments? Beats me. I think it’s stupid. I think it’s useless, and a waste of time.
Not that i’m one of those brave warriors who will defend free speech till their last breath has been taken away from them by the mob. Far from that. For instance i’m not an addict of what is written in Amendment I to the United States Constitution. I would rather take to the streets and slice the throats of the participants of a KKK gathering, than to go on the barricades to defend their right to contaminate the environment with their foul and stinking messages.
Don’t get me wrong tho. I can understand why some forums and groups want to moderate their incoming messages and comments, as there’s a lot of spamming going on in those areas, while bots r regular visitors too.

I guess moderation was set in place by Nanshakh the time he, many years ago now, created his group “Princess Myrina’s Galley” (now AST) for reasons just like that. He also excluded free membership. It was up to him to approve or deny an application for membership. After i came aboard, i never felt the urge to change all this. Partly cos i couldn’t care less, did understand his motives, and also cos i am a lazy person at heart. But once a person was approved, we hardly ever, no matter its content, disallowed his/her comments/messages. And rest assured that during the years we had our share of lame, hateful, foul, fascist, disgusting, racist, off topic, and insulting ones. We simply dealt with those in a grim and highly appropriate fashion, often creating that way passionate, intense and interesting exchanges of thought as well as great verbal lashings.

So yes, sometimes moderation can have its place in forums and groups. Especially when the membership, like it does in AST, is running into the thousands.

But for blogs like the ones in for instance the adult sections of Blogger and Wordpress? Come on. There’s no membership. Only so called followers and friends. And from what i’ve seen so far, they rarely exceed a hundred or so per blog. What u say? U’ve more than that? Ur list surpasses the 300 mark? Caramba, u must be the exception to the rule. Felicidades! Go go go, use it for an excuse to moderate ur fabulous blog.

The amount of comments can’t be an issue either, as they’re mostly very limited, and mostly only coming from a few diehard regulars. Besides, many bloggers r working their creation on a daily basis, and could easily remove any contribution they dislike on the spot. Not that i would be in favor of such action myself, but it is a possibility, and wouldn’t consume much more time than moderating. Probably less.

Still, many blog owners have the moderation tool in place. But why? Here r a few reasons/explanations (rationalizations and defenses, lol) given by some of these protectors of morals, prudence, and politeness. And i quote from:

1) John

"The comments are getting off topic and, to be frank, becoming a bit ridiculous. Comment directly on the post or a response to a comment directly about the post or I'll set up pre-post screening to keep the off-topic banter to a minimum which I prefer not to do."So there u have it. For John it’s the off topic thingy. Still, for years, he safely kept his moderation tool in the dark corners of his blog closet. So why bring it out in the open all of a sudden now? Lemme explain.

Sir John considers himself an alpha male, very proud of being submissive. In short, he’s a SAM. Quite recently he switched on his pre-post screening gadget cos he was fed up with Raposo and urs truly to constantly (well….um…..not that constant eh?) using his blog for exchanging our thoughts regarding his never ending litany about FLR’s, and other stuff. More than once we (i significantly more than Foxy) teased and ridiculed poor Johnny. Naturally only with the best of intentions. And we never called him names either. We had to u know, cos Master John rarely joins his audience in an ongoing discussion himself. Constantly he’s asking silly questions, but almost never responds to answers given. One could say we were the ones who kept his blog a bit lively and less of a bore. Real social workers, that’s what we were. He hated it tho, couldn’t understand the humor behind it, nor the sublime educational momentums which came with same, and thus eagerly grasped the opportunity to come up with this “off topic” nonsense.

John belongs to the “but people”. They say they hate to use the moderation tool, but nevertheless put it in place, blaming others for having forced them to do so. It’s one of the lamest attitudes people can have.
2) Saratoga

"Yes, I censor reader comments, and for good reason. You wouldn't believe the hateful drivel some readers expect me to publish, much less read.

Trust me, we're all better off for comment moderation."
This was posted by him on my blog two years ago, completely ignoring the subject of this particular blog, which was my departure from this world. Talk about off topic, hehehe. He would have never allowed me to do so in his blog, lol. Yeah, it’s a long lane that has no turning.

So this time it’s hateful drivel that causes the necessity of moderating comments.

Like John, Sara is presenting himself as an alpha male, holding his views in high esteem, and considering himself an expert on femdom or what he believes is femdom. Searching for a compatible female, he routinely reports about his adventures with his dominant hopefuls, as well as the failure of these women to live up to his expectations. He made it his quest to constantly assess the “domme quality” of women he meets online or in r/l, and regularly bombards his visitors with so called femdom videos, mostly portraying lame, mainstream, and commercial “domme action”.

One can only wonder what kind of “hateful drivel” people would want to send to a site like that. His reason is bogus.

Just the other day he came up with yet another one for keeping moderation alive on his site, namely, to avoid his blog to become a quote pad for my posts. What a found. Really cute and ridiculous. But again: Mea maxima culpa.

U want to read “hateful drivel”? Look no further. It’s right here. Waiting for u to read in the comment sections of my prose and poetry, name calling included. No moderation in my blog, u know. No matter how disgusting and lame, i would never remove them either. I let them sit and rot there in all their glory and filth, for the same reasons as in AST. I want people to read them. I want people to know about the ugliness and stupidity of their fellow cyber citizens. Maybe even learn from it? After all, it’s the reality of daily life. No sugar coating or sweeping under the rug in my place.

3) The Butler"Recently, I had a few comments on the blog that got quite frankly insulting, humiliating, and beneath the standards for intelligent conversation. That, and the writer used text-speech (u no wut that is), which I find annoying in the extreme. I think the poster was miffed by my disagreeing on a certain subject, and just couldn't handle it.

The comments were posted by someone who styles herself as a "dominant woman", but it seems to me that she is more like a "selfish bitch". It takes finesse to be a dominant woman - she is in control of herself and she is not insulting to others, especially those who are not in her domain. The only time she stoops to insults is in a scene where it is appropriate, otherwise it is a sign of a lack of culture and control, and that is clearly not what a Lady is about.

Anyway, this caused me to change the policy on the blog so that I modify each comment. It's a shame that it has to be this way, as free-written comments encourage a lively exchange of ideas. So, no insult intended Dear Reader, it's just something that I have to do."
Grrrrrrr, this is not one, but a truckload of reasons for closing the door to his blog.

The Butler is yet another one of these “but people”, always on the forefront to cheer free speech, but forced into censoring by evil people like me, who r insulting and humiliating him and his brave, humble, and righteous visitors. And if that’s not already enough horror, also mercilessly trampling the “standards for intelligent conversation” into his sacred d/s ground, using objectionable “text-speech” on top of that. Yes, there was no other way for this butler person than to exercise his right of moderation, for him to rightfully halt and censor this selfish bitch lacking any finesse and control.

Gosh, i made him do this all by myself? Wow, how powerful i am.

And just the other day, this last one :)

4) Submissive to My Southern Belle
"PS. My decision (the closing of his blog) has nothing to do with Ayesha's recent discovery of my blog, although she is responsible for my moderating of comments now."Got it? Good!

A word of caution. Not only men have a thing for moderation. Women sometimes get a kick out of it too. Especially SAF’s and pseudo FLR aficionados, a.k.a. MommyDommes, r notorious for it. I think it compensates a bit for the nagging contradiction, and almost unbearable feeling that comes with it, of not being dominant at all, but still, under pressure of their SAM, having to act like one. It’s a crazy thing actually. On the one hand we have males wanting to put their goddess on a pedestal, vowing to be of eternal service to her, only living for her happiness and satisfaction, and on the other hand females who, instead of taking advantage of that silliness and calling their “slaves” to their self-imposed tasks, r trying to please their men by posing like someone they’re not. Der oylam is a goylam, lol.

And now for the real reason why people want to moderate comments.

Observe the title of this blog. That’s what moderation is all about. U don’t understand? Lemme help u out.

Blog owners who need to moderate comments, r scared to death that someone would come in and disturb the safety of their comfort zone, their paradigms, and convictions. They can’t stand criticism, nor cope with same. They hate all humor, except their own. Their open mind closes the moment someone is questioning their views, is teasing them, or dismisses their definition of for instance femdom. Why is that? Their comfort zone, paradigms, and convictions r very fragile, rarely based on original thinking, and thus easily shaken by outside forces. They don’t want the latter to happen. Fear it immensely. So what do they do? They moderate. To them, their blog is a sacred place, a sanctuary, a refuge, and the one and only thing where they can enjoy being in charge, as a servant, a slave, a femdom, a pig, a hero, whatever. Of cors they will never admit this. Way to dangerous. Could be the end of their house of cards, their castle in the air, their cardboard dungeon, their carefully built personality. Instead they come up with, and hide their real motives behind, what they believe r socially accepted reasons for having the moderation tool in place. They need support. They need praise. They need people to tell them they have the right to moderate comments, and did the right thing when setting up that pre-screening banality. They need to be applauded and praised for their attitudes, beliefs, and actions, and couldn’t live and function without that. They don’t want to come to their sanctuary and find comments like mine. They want to feel safe and pampered. Not made fun of. Not laughed at. Not be confronted with a different truth than their own. So what do they do? They moderate. Yep that’s what they do. No intruders allowed. No trespassing. No antagonisms. Period! Up with the fence, virtual razor wire on top, protecting a non-existent reality.

Of cors, these people, men and women alike, r not nasty and bad people per se. Just a bit silly and confused. In a way they’re even somewhat special, cos, in contrast to all the other vanillas, they broke through a barrier and sniffed at a way of living completely alien to their actual one. They were able to locate somewhere in the more enlightened parts of their limbic system their potential to live as a femdom or a slave, but couldn’t manage and develop same, hindered as they were by their vanilla culture heritage. They simply lacked the guts and energy to push further, and start up the process of mentally disconnecting themselves from vanilla norms, values, laws, protocols, and other debilitating elements in their world. In other words, they couldn’t make it, and messed up the opportunity! They settled for a surrogate instead. And in their despair for having done so, many keep on trying to convince themselves, and others, they didn’t betray themselves at all, but r living the real thing and not only a pale shadow of it. They’re quite successful in that, as their brothers and sisters embarked on the same mission, and r doing the same thing, making the outcome of it look genuine. Together they’re reinforcing each other, keeping the illusion and lie alive, often even not recognizing that it is a lie. Moderating comments is simply one manifestation of this erroneous behavior, as well as a result from that.

At ease now, and watch the video. Great lyrics too :)

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Day of days

This week (sunset friday till sundown saturday) we (i mean us Jewish people) celebrate יום הכיפורים (Yom Kippur). It’s the day of atonement, of repentance, of reconciliation, of forgiving and seeking forgiveness, of cleansing, and of other beautiful things.

It’s the one Jewish holiday which practically all Jews, wherever they make their home on this planet, observe, even when they’re not really considering themselves religious.

Religion is certainly not for me. From what i read about it, and saw for myself, it does more bad than good. Still Yom Kippur has meaning for me. It reminds me of where my roots r, of the rough and sweet times i spent with one of my greatest loves in that small strip of the land of my ancestors surrounded by enemies, of the atrocities done to my people from ancient times on up till now, of the incredible resiliency of most of my people, keeping their humanity under the worst possible conditions, their lust for life, their creativity, their inventiveness, and their unequalled ability to really see the three sides of a coin. They endured the most horrible things, and still were able to turn a desert into a lush garden.

Unlike others tho, i will not forgive nor seek forgiveness for my wrongdoings. I will not allow any cleansing, nor do i need one. Atonement, repentance, and reconciliation may be of value and a purpose to others, but not to me. Not cos i couldn’t subscribe to their beauty per se, but, apart from my personal experiences, cos of what happened at places like Babi Yar, where, on the eve of Yom Kippur, more than 33000 Jews were slaughtered by the Germans and their filthy collaborators, or the Yom Kippur War of 1973 when, on the most holy day of the Jews, some Arab nations deemed it appropriate to attack Israel.

Someone once urged me, instead of seeking revenge, instead of embracing "an eye for an eye" philosophy and course of action, to put the past and my hate behind me, and try to be the bigger person. But i don’t want to be that person. I even would hate to be one. I don’t want to forget the past. I don’t want to sooth the pain. I don’t want to play down any horrific event just cos it happened a long time ago. I don’t want to belong to those who tell me that time heals all. I want the past in general, and my past in particular, to stay with me, to be one with me, to keep me on the alert, to not fall asleep and run over, when the human cockroaches of this world r marching again. And i don’t want to be absolved from my wrongdoings either. Some time ago i dedicated a blog to this "being the bigger person". If interested, go here.

I know my views, attitude and actions on this, will be inacceptable for some if not most, and will make me an outcast. Nothing new here. I'm used to that. So be it. Still i will try to keep following in the footsteps of the Masada people, and the Ones that make us remember Mila 18, of which one of their greatest son’s actions on the Golan in 1973 still makes me feel proud and confident, that the will to resist evil, to not allow defeat, and the perseverance of individuals, minorities, and oppressed people, can make a difference, can create a future, can even dictate the future, and can be the foundation on which a better world can be build. Alas we aren’t operating on a larger scale like that yet. Not yet, not yet.

I wanted to end this blog with a song titled Yoryim ouBo’hyim, a song belonging to the kind that pierces to the very marrow, which really has invaded my soul, and will stay there forever. Alas, embedding was disabled. So if u want to listen to it, click here. And in case u can’t understand the language, simply click “show more”, and u’ll find an English translation.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

A Tale of Two Stories

# 1
There was this Polish couple, Pawel and Ola, deeply in love with each other, and deeply anti-semitic. So they joined a neo-nazi group in Warszawa (hey Americans, that's the capital of Poland, once liberated from Hitler and his gang, by some of ur granddads, eh?), driven as they were to show the Jews, what it meant to be on the wrong side of the glorious white power movement.

To Ola and Pawel, Jews were the ultimate filth, ever seen on the face of the Earth.

Of cors they taught their innocent and lovely kids, that the Jews were their biggest enemy, and that fascism and nazism were here as the only and holy weapons with which these inferior beings could be slaughtered and finally erased from their planet. That should be their life quest, aka their only goal in life. So they urged them to do as their parents, to go out on the streets, find those damned Jews, those stinking lowlifes, who were the cause of all misery and abuse in Gods garden, to seek their blood, and to wage war against them. Down with them. Heil Hitler. (Horst Wessel Song thundering in the background now, to cheer things up eh?)

Then, one day, they found out, that their roots were Jewish.

Nowadays they r helping the rabbi in an orthodox local synagogue, hahahaha!

Oh, and this is no fiction, but a true story!

# 2
A recent Dutch study tried to find out what males and females enjoy doing the most during the day, evening, and night. Kind of a top ten of favorite activities so to speak. Not surprisingly sex was the absolute # 1 for males. Not that they actually having it all the time, but they constantly talk about it, fantasize about it, brag about it, and quarrel about it with their spouse, girlfriend, partner, mistress, the occasional whore, and their therapist. But with women the picture turned out to be quite different. They had having a good meal on top of their list, followed by hanging out with their female friends, non-trivial conversations, and reading a good book. Furthermore it was revealed that women rather go shopping, than to cuddle up between the sheets with their beloved partner. Sex came in at # 6, just b4 work and sports.

So far so good. We all already knew that men r guided by their dicks, while we women, lacking such an appendix, r not.

But the truly remarkable thing that came out of that study was that both males and females love vacuum cleaning. Can u imagine? It proudly stood at # 9! Vacuum cleaning is the activity were males and females r on the same wavelength, the same page, find each other, and r holding together no matter what.

I never could understand why all these submissive alpha males were craving to do all these boring household chores. But now i know! It’s a sleazy way to con their sublime and superior goddesses into sexual activities.

Oh, and this is no fiction, but a true story as well!

Oh well..........enjoy the video. And in case u can’t understand proper English, there’s a translation coming with it.

For those who celebrate this: L'shanah tovah!

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