Saturday, December 31, 2011


I was looking for a more or less appropriate “end of the year” blog when (again) my long term friend and soul sister Rita unconsciously delivered the right subject right at my doorstep. This time she did it by referring, in her own blog, to the life and work of Alexandra David-Néel.

From ancient times on, many thoughts were thought, and many words were written about the immortality of body and/or soul. As everybody knows, the soul got most of the attention. Some tried to locate the soul as a physical entity, but most saw it as some kind of spiritual one. Some, if not most, had a religious background, others were more secular. Either way, i never found a definition or description which could satisfy the hunger of my scientific and spiritual soul combined. The most appalling ones i found in mainstream religions, which purposes, afraid as they were (and still r) to lose their power over the masses, always have been, often in an incredibly hypocritical way, to hide from their followers, the 'mystery' of life and death. As if the patriarchs, priests, scholars and other so called authorities of these religions had knowledge of this ‘mystery’ themselves lol.

The concept of reincarnation, and things alike, does nothing for me. So too r vampires and zombies not my thing when it comes to immortality.

In novels, nowadays movies and tv-series, immortality is a hot item as well. Juicy example: Rider Haggard's trilogy about the ancient Ayesha :) Very nice, entertaining, and at times capable of triggering in me a few interesting thoughts/ideas/fantasies about living forever, but nothing substantial.

It's a subject which has my huge interest. But i'm trying to see immortality from different angles than the usual, common, and known ones, a.k.a. the vanilla ones. The only and inevitable connection with the vanilla approach is of cors, that i’m a human being (well, some think i’m a demonic witch or something) who lives in this particular time frame, even if we would consider time only a human invention, and not a fourth dimension for instance.

So i take info which is and becomes available to me from all kinds of sources (science, uncommon sense, etc), and try to look at in different ways, using different paradigms, maybe even a fantasy, a dream, whatever. I take what is scientifically known, but, to further my knowledge, i dismiss to follow the methodologies and rituals of mainstream scientists. I gladly leave that to them, trusting they will timely publish their new discoveries when they find them, for me to use same in my own erratic and eclectic way.

Contrary to popular belief, from a biological, chemical, physical, and medical point of view, in theory there r no real major obstacles to obtain immortality in the far future, or at least create a situation in which living a 1000 years on average, will be as common as it is now to reach 70, 80, or a little more. To illustrate this a bit i randomly selected 2 videos which in my opinion shouldn’t be too difficult to understand for reasonably educated and/or intelligent people.

However, in case u belong to those who couldn’t care less about what’s going on in the field of aging, or r too lazy to make an effort to learn something about it, i would advise to simply forget about them and keep on going with whatever u r doing, joining the rest of the masses, and later die peacefully, in pain, or in agony, ignorant of all the possibilities u’ve lost on ur way to ur grave.


The picture painted above will be a reality long after i’m gone. So, while some great scientists currently keep themselves busy with solving for instance that darn problem to keep a certain absolutely necessary plasma alive, for our body to be able to function well once it’s approaching its 600 years of existence, i’m more interested in finding a way to create some kind of afterlife in which i still will be able to enjoy femdom long after my physical body ( i mean the one that’s now still visible and touchable on planet Earth) has completely decomposed and nothing has been left of it. And that’s what, among other things, i’m trying to accomplish now. Sounds crazy huh? Yeah i’m sure it does. But i’m excited about it. So i do it. Besides, given my personality, i rather fail in doing what i want to do, than to sit still, waiting in docility, fear, or boredom, for, in this case, some deity, or whatever (super)natural power, to decide whether i’ll burn in Hell, will be allowed to enter Heaven, or simply rot away when the time has come to leave this life.
It’s quite a challenge tho, as i rarely meet someone who’s trying to do the same. But when i do, it’s bouncing off ideas and speculations like fireworks.

To get a glimpse in what kind of unknown trial and error brain draining and thinking world i’m moving around when trying to find a way to build and manage my afterlife, maybe an analogy of what it is NOT, will help.

There r people who believe aliens exist. Aliens of cors thought to be creatures not from planet Earth, but from outside. That’s why we call them aliens no? Like they would call us. Hmmm, maybe not. Given the vastness of our universe, and all the parallel universes that come with it, only an absolute fool would say that we humans can be the only living and/or intelligent organisms in named vastness. And although it’s not unthinkable that somewhere there could be creatures more or less looking and living like we do, i still find it remarkable, if not laughable, that people mostly think of aliens as, in one way or the other, comparable to us in shape, ways of thinking, fighting, etc. Seems that many humans r way too moronic and ignorant to comprehend that the probability of this is more of the opposite. Just take for instance gravity. A living being on a planet with let’s say 100 times the gravity of Earth, would never be able to walk like us, and probably would look more like a pancake or a napkin. Get it? I don’t want to take the usual, the known, and agreed upon, as my point of reference. I don’t want to take what seems natural to me for granted as the truth. I’m looking for something which doesn’t fit my thinking at all!

And it can be done. Yes, against all odds. I did something like that when i created feminine femdom, and disconnected myself from the vanilla world, its rules, morals, and thinking, and only kept using and taking from that world to further develop my new world of femdom. It wasn’t easy to accomplish this, many resisted and slandered me and my ideas of what femdom is and what it is not (and still do, lol), but it taught me the first steps to this new deliciously challenging project. But it’s like a devilish and horribly frustrating crusade as well. A crusade into the unknown of the unknown, aiming at not gaining knowledge as we define it, but something different. Maybe even the opposite of it. This sounds crazy to u? Again? Grrrrr!

Let me finish then with 3 quotes. Two of Arthur Clarke, and one of Einstein. Maybe those will penetrate a part of ur foggy and rusty brain:
“The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible.”

“How inappropriate to call this planet earth when it is quite clearly Ocean.”

"You cannot achieve a new goal by applying the same level of thinking that got you where you are today."

And if this is still not enough for ya, then ponder this one of Golda Meir:

“Moses dragged us through the desert for 40 years to bring us to the one place in the Middle East where there was no oil.”


  1. What a post ! Faithful to yourself, Ayesha, you end the year in beauty and start the new as same. I love it :) For me your post implicitly contains an eminently political question…

    If we agree to pass into an afterlife, the conditions are not negotiable… (And I'm really serious.)

    An afterlife yes, but only with femdom…

    I do not care about Eternity if there is no ( more ) Femdom…

    And I laugh to think that this statement will appear strange or risible to some people…

    (those who do not perceive the political content and why it can not disappear even in a context of afterlife…)

    If the inhabitants of the earth should know in 2012 a major physical or spiritual transformation (we can dream… ), if an Apocalypse or something must occur, if a Court or something of transcended powers is set to decide our destiny in afterlife, you can count on me and certainly on thousands and thousands of Crusaders, our freedom is not negotiable…

    Only with femdom !

    Between scientists, judges and prophets I choose you Ayesha.

    “This of cors must continue in the Afterlife”

    I wish you a very very happy New Year :)


    Amant alterna Camenae

    ( Les Muses aiment les chants alternés / The Muses loves alternating chants / ?) :

    In the Year II of Ayesha,

    At the time of the Great Revelation a slave of Ayesha was dragged before the tribunal of the Afterlife. There, he was asked to talk about Ayesha. But he refused to talk to the Judges of Hell and Heaven. This is what he tells to them :

    - Before speaking of the destiny of a man like me, we must be sure that the words we use have the same value for all of us. We will talk about slavery and freedom, and we should be sure that the words “slavery” and “freedom” have the same meaning for you and for me.

    Alas, these two words will never means the same things for you and for me.

    Because only the one who is truly free understands slavery, and only the one who is really a slave understands the freedom.

    And you have never been really free. You have never been really slaves.

    This is why we can not talk with the same words. And this is why I refuse to discuss anymore with you and declares this trial as political.

    (C)2012 Ayesha's Saudade

  2. "If we agree to pass into an afterlife, the conditions are not negotiable…"? There's nothing to agree upon. I'll create one, or not. And if i do, there's simply no other way than that it will be done on my terms.

    "Le comble du poète c'est d'être inspiré sans pour autant avoir de muse!(Fabien Blanchot)

  3. Lorsque j’eus traversé le fleuve je vis venir à moi Ayesha,

    - Ici le temps destructeur n’existe pas, me dit-elle. Tu ne donneras aucune pièce à Charon car tu seras mon esclave pour toujours. Ton corps et ton âme sont à moi comme la lumière et le feu appartiennent au soleil. Pour les siècles des siècles. Tu seras un reptile lorsque je voudrai que tu sois un reptile et un ange lorsque je voudrai que tu sois un ange, tu vivras dans ma Singularité.

    Il y a ici trois portes. Celle du Paradis, celle de l’Enfer et puis il y a la Mienne. Laquelle choisis-tu ?

    Alors sans un regard pour les autres mondes et pour les autres temps je pris la coupe qu’elle me tendait et bu d’un trait son poison. Le poison d’Ayesha. Son poison de femme, de sang et d’actes purs et impurs. Sa Toute-Puissance entra en moi éternelle.

    Puis je me tournai vers les deux portes du Ciel et de l’Enfer et déclamai à voix haute ce vers de la Jeune Parque :

    « Que dans le ciel placés, mes yeux tracent mon temple ! Et que sur moi repose un autel sans exemple ! » (1)

    - N’oublies-tu rien ? me demanda Ayesha.

    Je retournai alors vers le fleuve, vis le vieux Charon qui lentement s’éloignait. Je jetai dans l’eau brûlante du fleuve Achéron mon livre des sciences et puis mon livre des lois.


    (1) La Jeune Parque, Paul Valéry.

    (ENTERING THE AYESHA’S AFTERLIFE ) © 2012 Ayesha’s Saudade.

  4. What a great comment. Intriguing atmosphere too. But we r not there yet. Not yet, not yet (grin).

    Ah oui monsieur Valéry, l’un des plus grands écrivains du monde, un poète formidable, et un misanthrope sinistre, hehehe.

    Trust me, Moira has nothing to do with my afterlife.

    He also wrote this:

    "Maigre immortalité noire et dorée,
    Consolatrice affreusement laurée,
    Qui de la mort fais un sein maternel,
    Le beau mensonge et la pieuse ruse!
    Qui ne connaît, et qui ne les refuse,
    Ce crâne vide et ce rire éternel!
    Non, non! . . . Debout! Dans l'ère successive!

    Brisez, mon corps, cette forme pensive!
    Buvez, mon sein, la naissance du vent!
    Une fraîcheur, de la mer exhalée,
    Me rend mon âme . . . O puissance salée!
    Courons à l'onde en rejaillir vivant."

    Btw, for one who calls himself Stychus, one would have not expected the Achéron here, but the Styx :)

  5. :)

    Ayesha dit à l’esclave d’attendre. Devant sa porte – ornée de figures d’anges et d’esclaves - elle lui décrivit ses terres, ses océans et le monde infini. Elle lui dit tu pourras oublier toute ta vieille culture.

    Et l’esclave s’assit. Il regarda le Styx brûlant qui s’éloignait de sa conscience, il oublia que sa Parque était jeune, et sentit une brise douce et parfumée qui venait de la porte d’Ayesha. Il lut le billet que celle-ci lui avait laissé.

    Bien sûr ce n’était pas une Moire, le destin d’Ayesha où les esclaves naissent esclaves et les dominas dominas, n’avait rien à voir avec le destin ordinaire du temps. C’était un autre monde. D’autres concrétions. L’intelligence d’Ayesha le troublait.

    Il essayait assoiffé d’imaginer ce qu’il y avait dans l’Au-delà d’Ayesha. Il imaginait Ayesha se baignant nue au milieu de ses esclaves dans une mer remplie de fleurs. Il comprit alors que les anciens soleils noirs étaient aujourd’hui usés, lavés, détroussés, qu’un monde nouveau s’ouvrait, le monde de la Vie-Après-La-Vie, le monde de la Vie-Dans-La-Vie d’Ayesha.

    Il relut le billet d’Ayesha. Oui, Debout ! Debout ! dans l’Ere successive ! Il fallait courir dans l’onde pour en rejaillir vivant. Esclave il se leva.

    Il regarda le Styx, l’Achéron, le Cocyte et le Phlégéton, le fleuve qui est alimenté par les larmes des voleurs, des pécheurs et de tous ceux qui se sont mal conduits. Il bomba le torse. Il courut, il courut vers ces fleuves, il s’y baigna et s’y baigna encore, nagea et nagea encore. Il fallait qu’il devienne fort. Résistant pour goûter au fouet d’Ayesha, pour goûter à la langue de son cuir sur sa peau. Pour les siècles des siècles.

    Enfin il but l’eau du Léthé, celui qui fait tout oublier. Mais il se rappela de tout.

    Alors il comprit que seule la porte d’Ayesha pourrait lui faire oublier.
    Il retourna devant la porte et s’assit. Il regarda les cinq fleuves de l’Enfer mais alors il ne vit plus que la mer remplie de fleurs où nue Ayesha se baignait au milieu de ses esclaves.

    Merci infiniment Ayesha...


    (ENTERING THE AYESHA’S AFTERLIFE II) © 2012 Ayesha’s Saudade.

  6. Seems u r having the time of ur life commenting here, lol. But u r way too romantic imagining me bathing naked in a sea of flowers amidst a bunch of slaves. Even the thought of such a scene, whether that would be here and now, or later in the afterlife, is cracking me up. Set ur fantasies and wishful thinking a bit on hold, cos it will never happen. I’m absolutely not the type for such silliness.

    So remember: “Une mer remplie de fleurs”? Nah, that’s not me. “Fleurs du mal”? Much better!

    But since u brought that river up, here’s a nice one from Baudelaire. Although the lady in there isn’t me either, i feel a little bit more related to her than the vanilla broad from ur dream :)

    Viens sur mon coeur, âme cruelle et sourde,
    Tigre adoré, monstre aux airs indolents;
    Je veux longtemps plonger mes doigts tremblants
    Dans l'épaisseur de ta crinière lourde;

    Dans tes jupons remplis de ton parfum
    Ensevelir ma tête endolorie,
    Et respirer, comme une fleur flétrie,
    Le doux relent de mon amour défunt.

    Je veux dormir! dormir plutôt que vivre!
    Dans un sommeil aussi doux que la mort,
    J'étalerai mes baisers sans remords
    Sur ton beau corps poli comme le cuivre.

    Pour engloutir mes sanglots apaisés
    Rien ne me vaut l'abîme de ta couche;
    L'oubli puissant habite sur ta bouche,
    Et le Léthé coule dans tes baisers.

    À mon destin, désormais mon délice,
    J'obéirai comme un prédestiné;
    Martyr docile, innocent condamné,
    Dont la ferveur attise le supplice,

    Je sucerai, pour noyer ma rancoeur,
    Le népenthès et la bonne ciguë
    Aux bouts charmants de cette gorge aiguë
    Qui n'a jamais emprisonné de coeur.

  7. Ô Ayesha, I don’t know why I paint such silliness. I will remember…

    I take for me this famous graffito found on a wall in Pompeii :

    Admiror paries te non cecidisse ruinis
    Qui tot scriptorium taedia sustineas

    “I am surprised, O Wall, that you do not be crumbled under the weight of so many unbearable

    I will remember…

    It is maybe because I think too much about your beauty and not enough about the truth…


  8. But remember this too:

    "Beauty no other thing is, than a beam
    Flash'd out between the middle and extreme." (Robert Herrick)

  9. Thank you Ayesha, I will also remember this...

    :) stychus

  10. Liebe Ayesha,
    have a look at my bloggersite please!

  11. I'll be gone before you so I'll just wait. Unless we meet on Earth before that.

  12. @ Rita. I did, and met with a lot of spam! What the heck is going on on ur site?

    @ Paula. If that's what u think, i bet u it will be the other way around.

  13. Well I hope it's the way I want and it probably will be. I will watch you.

  14. Ayesha!...Will You rule in afterlife?..i am looking for Your explanation for this blunt question of mine

  15. i am eagerly waiting for Your intellectual reply...:)

  16. "blunt question"? No, not at all. But, to say it as politely as possible, it is a mega stupid one for sure.

    In case u would get the urge now to ask me "why?", then let me tell u in advance, it would make u look even more stupid than it is the case already.

  17. i am really sorry....if You got pissed by my question.....actually Your philosophy has already conquered my mind...and it is now affecting my soul and a worshiper one can imagine things ...but still guidance from a Goddess is necessary...cuz a Goddess determine the boundaries....i hope You got my point...and if still i pissed You off....i am sorry for that......i kiss Your feet in advance for apology:P

  18. Ayesha revint avec ses treize chiens. L’esclave était toujours assis devant sa porte. Elle le traîna alors jusqu’au tombeau du Christ, et l’obligea à s’y coucher contre le marbre froid.

    L’esclave fut attaché nu et les membres écartés sur la dalle noire du sépulcre de Jésus. Ayesha de la pointe de sa botte lui écarta les jambes. Elle plongea sa main dans le corps de l’esclave et lui arracha le cœur.

    Le cœur de l’esclave pleurait de petites gouttes de sang, Ayesha le tenait dans sa main gantée comme on tient un oiseau sans défense. Elle sortit un stylet d’argent incrusté et grava sur le cœur qui criait les lettres I.N.R.I.



    Elle reposa le cœur gravé sur la poitrine de l’esclave. L’esclave pleurait des larmes noires qui coulaient le long de sa joue et retombaient sur le tombeau du Christ.

    Ayesha dit :

    - Tu resteras ici attaché autant d’années que tu as mis de fleurs dans la mer.



    Avec mon plus profond respect et toute mon admiration...

    (ENTERING THE AYESHA’S AFTERLIFE III End) © 2012 Ayesha’s Saudade.

  19. @Stychus. Seems u have a problem with listening to what i'm saying, and/or not taking it seriously enough. So, to make it very clear to u for once and for all, read the following attentively and act accordingly.

    The time has come for u to stop using my name in ur stories. I'm far from that fantasy person of urs. Even better, stop publishing here this nonsense at all. Find a place where it will be appreciated. I'm sure u can do that, as there r plenty of silly mainstream/vanilla dominant women out there in Cyberspace who would love to receive such crap.

    @Zahid U r not sorry at all. Ur babbling is pointless, self centered, and lame. Boundaries u said? Oh ok. Next time u sent me drivel like that, it will be deleted.

  20. Oui, vous avez raison Ayesha, citer votre nom était une faute de goût énorme. Mille pardons.

    Quant au reste je prends vos propos très au sérieux. Mais tout cela n'était que des métaphores...

    Vous savez lorsque l'on induit de l'exaltation il faut s'attendre à tout, et c'est peut être justement ce qui est intéressant...

    A quoi vous servirait des commentaires préformatés et prévisibles ?

    Avec mon plus profond respect.

    Serviteur Madame...


  21. Ma'am Ayesha ...i am really sorry if my questions were funny...i am so much impressed by your thinking that ...i think femdom must be implemented all around the world....and personally i would love to be your slave...and i am in a learning phase ...i know it is difficult but one day i will understand the philosophy of femdom.....and your role in this learning is great....hats of to you

  22. Replies
    1. of cors baby. I mean.....if u can spare the time eh?

      Remember this tho: I can make a lot of jokes, but i'm never kidding!

    2. Oh, baby. Oh, sweet lady. I can make time for you.

      Be gone my foul mouth. Soon, I will spit Shakespeare like I was he.

    3. I fear it is. And yet, methinks, it should not. But alas, much ado about nothing, hehe.

    4. But u have to admit: It was a great find :)

    5. In moderation, hehehehehehe.

    6. Of cors, sweet lady, of cors.

    7. I'm in a loving mood. So I came here.

    8. It was the right thing to do.

    9. I like the greenness here.

    10. Not many know this (or r too scared to admit they know), but it's the color of venomous poison giving life to deceased dead people.