Sunday, September 13, 2009

Da Rules & Da Dommes


One angle from which one can look at the vanilla world, is its obsession with rules, aka rituals, laws, etiquette, regulations, protocols, u name it. Wherever i went on this planet (and boi did i go places), there were rules. One could easily argue, rules r an addiction, a fetish. Why is that? I think it has something to do with fear of freedom, manifesting itself by avoiding responsibility and seeking ways to camouflage this. Fromm wrote an excellent book on the matter: "Escape from Freedom". Read it!

Now, of cors(!) i would be the last person, to deny the benefits of rules. They can be great tools, when it comes to traffic, water purification, food production, things like that. Rules should be there tho, to free us from restrictions, and not the other way around. More importantly, they should help, to make us more free to grow, free to create, free to develop, free to search, free to conserve, free to choose, and free to enjoy. Alas, this is still a dream. Most rules r restricting, instead of empowering us. Especially in my younger years, when i had to deal with my upcoming feelings of being attracted to female domination, i made that observation.

While living in a patriarchal world, i never had the desire to emancipate, like so many other women around me. What i wanted was to explore my inner powers, my female powers, and not to waste my energy to become equal to males, to evaluate their rules, or to fight for equal rights. And i hated the dress code of those so called liberated women too.

Till this very day i cannot comprehend why females let it happen to them, to be ruled by men, in virtual all aspects of their life, even r siding with them, and defending male rules and viewpoints, even when in contradiction with, and violating their femininity. Oh yes, i know practically all the political, sociological, historical, psychological, cultural, and religious explanations for this phenomenon, but those are mostly male explanations eh? Ergo, not to be considered of any significant value, when it comes to understand the bowel movements of the female soul.

So, i made a choice: No rules for me! I’m the only anchor when making decisions, demanding responsibility for my actions too, and accepting or fighting the consequences, no matter what. B4 any smartass starts roaring now, yep……… i hit the breaks when approaching a red traffic light. Well, most of the times.

To make a short story long, here’s something to memorize . So, keep on reading!

During my university years, i once entered a room full of hotshot scientists, wrestling with some problem they were trying to solve for weeks, however without any progress. I just sat there for a while, carefully listening to the masters. After a while i got bored, and suggested to consult a poet to bring light into the matter. I tell u, i would not be busy typing this blog, if looks could have killed. For them, i was dead meat. I was pure sin. A poet? Get lost Ayesha!! Don't u know, u evil one? We have rules u know! Scientific rules at that. They're superior to anything. Without them, there's no science, no solution, and bla bla bla bla. It's my bet, they never solved that problem.

Later, when a scientific hotshot myself, i spent some time with running a considerable amount of absolutely crazy brainstorm sessions, with a bunch of totally freaked out other scientific hotshots. No time limits, no coffee breaks, no food, no.......rules. It was great. I learned that even the most stupid remark, mega flaming, out of this world stupidity, and even physical violence, can trigger insights beyond belief. And what's even more important, intense communication, unparalleled emotions, feeling close to each other, and fearless risk taking. We were free. Maybe free bitches and assholes, but not polite diplomats in bondage! Freud's Es was on stage, trampling Ich and Ueberich into the mud.

So here we r, a world mainly organized by rules. Male rules as a matter of fact, supported by moron females. In short, the Vanilla World. But.....strangely enough, there’s a yearning among males, to be ruled by women. Or maybe not?

I met plenty males who wanted to grovel for me, to lick the dirt off my boots, to be pissed in their mouth by me, to be whipped by me, to be humiliated by me, me a woman, one belonging to the weaker sex. And i tell u, i kicked, pissed, whipped, spat, whacked, tortured, and humiliated these males to exhaustion. And they loved it. The time came however, i discovered that in fact i was used by them. Like all other women, i went into their trap, having the illusion that i was their mistress, ruling them, while in fact i was acting according to their rules, by pleasing them, by humiliating them, by beating them to pulp etc. And i went into it eagerly, cos i really wanted to be a domina.

All this has changed now, as can easily be deducted from my other blogs.

So here i am, in my world now, without rules, surrounded by women and men, who have no need to cheat on their desires and feelings, who abhor role playing, who can’t imagine anything else, than being themselves, acknowledging at the same time, they only can be like that cos of me, also realizing, if i would want them to change, there’s no other way for them, then to comply.

All this sounds strange to u? Far fetched? Bunch of lies? Fantasy? Fabrication? To good to be true? Let me tell u what i find strange, far fetched, and......hard to accept. It’s hard for me to believe, there exist femdom determined by rules, rules cloned from the patriarch. I can’t believe there r women, claiming to be dominant, who restrict their dominance, by deliberately creating a set of rules, or by submitting to other people’s rules. I can’t imagine femdom, based on abstract morals and ethics. I can’t believe a dominant woman, would ever refer to her slaves as pets. And yet......that’s exactly the case. The 'scene' is infested with women like that. Even in the virtual world, so called Dommes r not only developing rules for their ‘slaves’, but also for themselves. Not true? Lets take a look around.

Just recently i learned that a real Domme (i hate that word), is always composed, never loses her cool, and if, Goddess forbid, she lets herself angered by someone, that someone is controlling her. She never yells, screams, or shouts. I imagine this kind of Domme, sitting in her ivory tower, somewhat bored, faultlessly dressed, affable looking down on the mob far below her, instructing her butler subbies to be quiet, to refrain from all noise, for her not getting a headache or something. I wonder how dames like that deliver a whipping. I mean, without sweating, looking agitated, using dirty language, hair messed up, well...... u know.

Here r a few lines of what one of the Sublime Ones considers a ‘Perfect Domme’. I quote: "The Perfect Domme is a Bright, Bi/Les Woman secure in Herself, in Her needs, in Her desires and in Her pleasures. She knows that it is Her right to be Served in each and every way She chooses. She is comfortable accepting Her role as a Superior being knowing that She gives Her slaves the greatest gift possible; permitting to who they really are (slaves) serving Her every wish." Juicy detail? This one saw the light. For years she was a severe and strict domina, someone i really thought to be a femdom. Then everything changed. Suddenly she discovered her true self, considering herself a true slave now, looking for her Domme. But still teaching, morals, rules, and protocols to Dommes, and lecturing them, when one dares to stray from this newborn slave’s rules, lol.

One more: "She adores all kinds of S/m training of slaves and derives stimulation and pleasure from Her ubiquitous use of them. She is imaginative and creative and becomes stimulated from the physical and mental humiliation of Her slaves."

Of cors i couldn’t skip: "She is, after all, a Goddess, worthy of total commitment from each of Her slaves."

Guess straight women should give up right away? They never could be perfect eh? I should reconsider my future path as well, as i abhor training, humiliation, and certainly don’t consider myself a superior being. Me a Goddess? Lmao!

Btw, noticed the inevitable caps? Major etiquette in DommeLand.

I love this one: "It is not responsible for any Domme to interfere with any subs work, in any way. Any Domme that does not understand that can not call herself a Domme and be taken seriously by anyone." There! I’m disqualified again.

How about this one: "She is responsible for the mental, physical, emotional and sexual welfare of her sub(s), at all times. This fact is set in stone." Hmmmm, sounds to me this Domme is slaving for her slaves. I’m out! Picture it: Slave Tommy wakes up during the night, with an erection. So what does he do? He calls me on my cell, reminding me of my duty, at all times eh, to give him a blowjob or so.

If we enter the realm of Pro-Dommes, it’s no picnic either. B4 anything, it’s a rule of thumb: No sex! Period! What were u thinking u pervert? Don’t u know? Pro-Domination is not prostitution!! Geeez! Furthermore, they tell u they’ll do anything, except ……….. a thousand things. Yep…….pure wild femdom, challenging all rules. No question about it. Rofl.

Then there r the ones who really rule without any limits. Kind of lucha libre in the bdsm bedroom, i’d say. They go all the way, these dedicated lifestylers. They r cruel, mean, and strictly strict. These r the Dommes who only dominate for themselves, who r strutting around in boots with 4" platforms, wearing fetish garb 24/7 only, punishing their slaves via ultra gymnastic boot jobs, while giving a rat’s ass about the desires, wishes, or rules of their subbie hubbies. "U will cum u bastard! Now get into the position pig!". Nevertheless abiding the mainstream bdsm rule of ssc, taught to them during their local club gatherings, munches (oh do i love those), lifestyle conferences, Elise Sutton & company, or Google.

No way i could forget to mention the onliners here. They dominate from afar, via phone, cam, email, keyboards, so on. They force males and females into submission, by giving them harsh tasks to fulfill, sometimes demanding proof by cam. These Dommes enjoy to humiliate their slave by forcing him into panties and heels, b4 he’s ordered to do the dishes in exactly the way he’s told. They stick out their feet, to be licked across the ocean. Don’t ever ridicule their actions, as u will receive a litany of mail, to straighten out ur blasphemy.

Money-Dommes r a special breed, not as complicated as their Free-Domme Sisters. They have only 3 rules. Rule # 1: "Only serious players need to apply". Rule # 2: "Empty ur wallet". Rule # 3: "Don’t waste my time".

The tour ends right here. It’s laughable, ridiculous, and stupid. Also very sad. It’s one thing when women choose to live under male rule, or allow topping from the bottom, but it’s a sad story, when the ones who claim to be femdoms, r cloning a male set of rules to govern the femdom environment. Femdom needs no rules. Femdom equals freedom. A femdom knows how to act and handle things herself, and doesn’t need a safety net, in case something eventually goes awry. She’s her own anchor, lawyer, prosecutor, and judge.


U know what ‘dom’ means in Dutch? It stands for stupid. A Domme would be: A Stupid One, lol!

Does all this matter much? Nah, not really. But u know? It’s one of my rules, to rule against rules occasionally. Besides, i love to sit here, typing a few words, forcing myself to deliver my next rant, and to create a matching collage. Very relaxing that. U should make it one of ur rules as well.

Enjoy the videos. They picture a woman, many Dommes will consider a bitch not to mingle with. Not surprisingly, i believe she’s way more on my wavelength, than the majority of my sisters in d/s. I love her.




4 comments:

  1. Rules, rules and more rules.

    Rules shouldn't be necessary. At least they wouldn't be, if we all followed the Golden Rule. Alas, we don't.

    Rules are for breaking when need be. You need to break rules to progress in this world.

    In the world of femdom, it should be very simple. The dominant woman calls the shots, and the slave obeys. No rules, other than obey. That's why a submissive person should know exactly who they are dealing with. Otherwise, it's all just play acting.

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  2. A little eroded and worn out that one. I mean ur Golden Rule eh? Think of it. Modern suicide bombers for instance apply this rule exactly as it is written, hehehe. Apart from that, i don't want to be fair!

    And.....i once wanted only to be obeyed indeed. But this has changed. Not completely, but a bit. A slave should challenge me too. U can read about this elsewhere on this site.

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  3. Aaaahh, yes.
    The idea that the "perfect domme" doesn't get rumpled or sweaty has never seemed appealing to me. In fact, it is one of the reason I chose this name. You really want to see dishevelled? Give me a flogger and a couple hours of free time to play with my man.

    I suppose if those women are enjoying their ice and ivory towers they are more than welcome to it all, but none for me, thanks.

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  4. They r not enjoying this. It's just that they don't feel like a domina at all, and have no clue what to do with their fake status. So, in order to save the day, and the fantasy of their vanilla acolytes, they play ice queen, or nibble on an elephant tooth.

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