Femdom...........a chat

Some time ago, when Yahoo 360 was still around, i was chatting with a man who was looking to become a slave to a woman. He seemed quite serious about this, but nevertheless belonged to the cohorts, infected by the never ending saga of mainstream d/s, where femdom is mostly seen as some service to the male gender, whether paid for, or practiced free of charge, during munches, in fetish clubs, or simply when the 9 – 5 chores r done, in places hidden from the kids. As i stated many times b4, there’s nothing wrong with that, if u r in the league of recreational players, or too afraid to really become a slave. Slavery is only for a few. And even they run occasionally into problems with me.

The slave in statu nascendi i was referring to, wanted it all. Yes sir, all of it! Well, that’s what he said, although the demanding little voice of MyEgo whispered to me: “Ayesha dear, he doesn’t know what he is talking about.” And u know, she’s right. She’s always right. Well, most of the times eh? At times i have to disagree with her. But only for not losing control over the brat. She’s a wild one, who wants me to do things to people, which make even me shiver.

Back to my hungry prospect now. Geeez, i’m so easily distracted, when writing a blog, about something i already wrote so many times about. But that’s me, no discipline whatsoever! Anyway, back to him, i must say, although he’s a rookie, yes very much so, i loved the way he was struggling with his tendencies, and also his background, which was the military. Hmmmm, come to think of it, i never asked him if he ever was under fire, or only a soldier at ease and peace, safely programming battles in the barracks, or worse, in the plush offices of Nato headquarters, lol. The ones who r familiar with my background, know that military women and men, who were exposed to what they were trained for, enjoy a special place in my heart.

I won’t give away his name nor Yahoo-ID, and leave it up to him, if he’d ever read this blog, to react and/or reveal himself to the public here, or not.

As i’m convinced, there r a few shy ones lurking around here, lacking the courage to ask me more specific about my way of living, even fearing my answers, i decided to transfer some (edited) crucial lines of our private dialogue to this blog. That way some of them could also come to their senses, b4 approaching me with the desire to join me and my crew on the wild side of feminine femdom for the rest of their days

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Oh……btw…… u’ll notice how many times i ‘m repeating myself to get my message through, as this one, no matter how serious and willing he came across to me, is very hardheaded and a rather poor listener, hindered as he is by a bunch of vanilla paradigms, larded with mainstream bdsm axioms, and infected with male logic and Cartesian rationalism.

Well……….here goes. Finally!

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Me:

During our chat the other day, and from what u could have deducted from what u read on my 360 page, i wonder if it became clear to u, that i'm not dwelling in the land of frustrated housewives, men hating lesbians, pro-dommes, and other part-timers, claiming to have a passion for femdom. I disconnected myself from the vanilla world, and all of its ‘kinky’ variants, a very long time ago, only mingling with its citizens, organizations, and institutions, when i see fit to exploit and use it for my daily chores, travel, business, etc. I created my own world, a feminine femdom world, within which there is no place for vanilla protocols, rites, laws, rules, clichés, and other banalities like fetish parties, and training cq educating of ‘slaves’, enfin all the things i wrote about already in named 360 blogs.

I told u, i’m not looking for slaves in Cyberspace. As a matter of fact, i’m not looking at all. When i meet someone i want to own, i just take him/her. With me there r no negotiations, building relationships, contracts, or whatever seems to be common in vanilla d/s circles. U should have picked this up by now as well. With me it’s a one way road. A slave has no vote.

The mere fact, that u r searching for a domina, shows how far u r from my way of living. Women like me r not to be found. U have to wait, till she makes u her own. I know, this is very difficult for the eager to be ‘enslaved’ ones, but there’s no other way within the realm of feminine femdom. Therefore, for the majority of these hungry ones, it’s best to stay with the stock of cardboard dungeon exploiting pro’s, and good willing submissive females, who give in to the desires and wishes of their friends, and spouses, to play the role of a domina. To go all the way, is only for a few. Males and females alike.

Tip for ur quest: Anybody, who uses prefixes like goddess, empress, mistress, etc etc, and worse, putting in front of those an adjective like for instance, evil, cruel, strict, etc etc, is not passionate about femdom as a way of living, and not to be taken seriously. Forget also the ones, who insist to write W/we, Y/you, or any other use of silly caps. At best, women like that, r willing to play, or have commercial purposes. Which can be great for the right partners, but not for me.]

See u around ............. (name withheld)

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The military man:

Wait, "See u around ........... " sounds too final. Please don't cut it off so quickly (or maybe that was a bad choice of words). Look. I don't understand this lifestyle yet. I've never lived it and I'm just eager to find my place in it. You're giving me insights I hadn't even thought of on my own. I was VERY highly attracted to your profile and I want very much to get to understand you better, so please don't break off contact, which is what "See u around .........." sounds like you're doing. Tell me. How do I make you want me. I can't think of any other way to express it except to say, what do I have to do to make myself worthy of you. Please, just tell me. You were the first dominant woman I contact and there was a reason for that--I was HIGHLY impressed by your profile and got an intuitive feeling that you were probably the right woman to give myself to. If I'm doing dumb things that are turning you off then please guide me and teach me how I can make myself more appealing in your eyes.

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Me:
Seems to me that whatever i'm telling u about my way of living, is so far fetched for u, that u r not really grasping the essence of it. For instance, the idea that a slave could consider himself a gift, may be adorable in mainstream femdom, but in my world impossible to be taken seriously, as this idea is not only ridiculous, but also mega non-femdom.

I hate teaching, and never was interested to make people more appealing to me, or give them hints for becoming more 'worthy' (what a silly concept too).

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The military man:
I guess maybe I don't grasp the essence of your way of living, but if you think that teaching is a silly concept I never will be able to grasp it. I'm not a ready made slave and without things like training and conditioning I'm not going to understand what a woman expects or how to perform for her in the ways that will make me a valuable asset in her eyes. I was under the impression that, like basic training, a Femdom took a slave apart so that she could remold, reshape, and rebuild him in the form that suited her needs the most. You seem to be looking for someone who has already been through that process. So, thank you anyway, but it doesn't appear that I'm right for you. I wish I was, but I'm still just clay and not a finished statue.

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Me:
"..... a Femdom took a slave apart so that she could remold, reshape, and rebuild......" Indeed the common thought, already lingering for years in mainstream and trendy d/s circles, where 24/7/365 remains only a fantasy. This point of view is a typical '(male)wannabe slave' one too. However, it’s not the truly dominant woman who would want this. It’s the so called slaves who r hungering for this. They seem to have a need for, or getting a kick out of, activities like this. And many women r ready to serve them lol. Femdoms like me tho, r way too lazy to do all that work!

Btw, all the time i hear about training, educating, rebuilding etc etc of slaves, especially the still clay ones like u, and never about the training etc etc of clay femdoms. This really makes me wonder. Hmmmm….. not really, hahaha.

Understand this oh Man of Clay: Femdoms r born, never trained. The same counts for slaves! There is no other way for them. That’s why both r so powerful. Nothing will hold them back. Both r radiating their passion and fate. What they learn, they create themselves. They have no teachers. Both hate laws, rules, and protocols, as well as the silly rites in mainstream bdsm, like for instance, slave positions, safewords, and ways to approach each other. A slave is never submissive. A slave is proud, eager to challenge a femdom, goes boldly after his/her desires, tries to seduce his/her owner, and finds satisfaction in colliding and uniting with her during their sexual encounters. He/she never claims, to only exist for HER, to please HER, to pamper HER, to suffer for HER (caps caps caps….lmao). In fact, a slave is the mirror of a femdom, lol. Just as mean, cruel, driven, egoistic, sexy, seductive, hungry, elegant, stubborn, moody, beautiful, passionate, unfair, erratic, powerful, humorous, revengeful, poisonous, lovable, and always on the road to go beyond the next horizon. The difference is, they operate from a different dimension. In mathematical terms, they both r part of a hyperbola, divided and apart, yet still one Gestalt.

By Lilith, mainstream femdom is soooooooo booooooooooring.

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And then, he vanished, silently, without a trace. Vanilla slaves do that u know? Once they feel their desires r not answered instantly, once they realize the woman they approached is not willing to pamper their needs, or is not eager to guide them to the promised DommeLand, they disappear. Few depart in silence. Most go leaving behind a truckload of curses, threats, foul language, slander, and accusations, showing what great slave material they actually r :).