Friday, June 3, 2011

Beautiful Vanilla

It was a beautiful evening, close to midnight. A full moon was decorating the cloudless sky, draping its light over the pool, the surrounding palm trees, and our lazy bodies.

Anita left us the first, and went to the atrium, doing whatever a woman of her caliber has to do. Then Minerva went inside, taking Lucinda with her, followed a few minutes later by Alejandra. So there i was, all alone with the moon and my thoughts. Episodes of my life passed by, overlapping each other timelessly as if they were one. Suddenly i found myself dreaming about my life with Shirah, the time i spent with her in Haifa, the Golan, the warzone in which she died, the pain that never had left me, and the bastards that still r killing my people. Unrest boiled up in my mind, rushing through my body, and taking over my soul. I needed to relax, to find something to distract me from the overwhelming desire to create havoc once again, and to sooth my upcoming rage.

tears 32 red rose pictures, backgrounds and images

So I went inside as well, to find the others.

As Lucinda saw me enter, she must have sensed my turmoil, and approached me with her firm gentleness, which is so characteristic for this wonderful woman, who once made her home on the streets of Bogotá. She feels me as i feel myself. As i felt Shirah. Her presence calms me down. She makes me hate less.

The others also know when it’s time to keep silent and to engage me in some kind of activity to bring me back to the here and now, far away from the horrors of the past, and my addiction to steer my thoughts back to times i refuse to forget.

We were going to watch a movie or 2.

The first one was: “My Sister’s Keeper”. An incredibly emotional movie about two sisters in their teens, and their family. One with incurable blood cancer, and the other one brought into this world as a supplier of body parts to keep the dying one alive. I’ve seldom seen a movie in which human emotions were portrayed so magnificently as in this one. While watching, we cried a lot, and felt much related. If people can be like that, without exempting anybody who played a role in this film, i’m willing to reflect on my rather negative views regarding vanilla people, and reconsider some of my attitudes towards them.

Our second choice: “The Blind Side”. A beautiful movie about truly warm human relations, and unconditional love against all societal odds, with Sandra Bullock playing the woman of my heart. A masterpiece. Well….um……ok then….this time i’ll go along with it. Again one which shows that there may be still a few vanillas around, whose friendship i could cherish. Remarkable and absolutely recommended.

The third one: “Inglourious Basterds”. Guess it was Anita who put that one into the player. She can’t stand it when i go soft, as mentally she’s going through a difficult time herself these days, and needs me more than ever to stand tall at her side, unforgivable, ready and eager to destroy all that caused her lose part of her womanhood. But i don’t think she would have done this, had she known what really was on that dvd.

Anybody who knows me a little bit, knows i hate fascists and Nazis, and all that, even remotely, comes with them. As this movie is about a group of jewish-american soldiers, dropped behind German lines some time b4 D-day, to slaughter any German soldier they would encounter, in order to create fear and demoralization among the supposedly invincible German troops, i cheered its contents, and thought i was in for a pleasant ride.
Little did i know.

As the film evolved, my disgust was building. At the end i was sick to my stomach, as were my companions. Cruelty for the sake of cruelty. Torture as a way of entertainment. Killing for pleasure. That’s what the famous Quentin Tarantino had put on my plate. Well damn him, and the rest of his crew! I’m sure the man has never set foot on a battlefield, and has no clue of what’s really going on there. He must be a pitiful human being, craving to depict the lowest of human behavior imaginable. And not with the purpose to educate or warn people of what they’re capable of, but to deliver the filthiest of filth to entertain us. And if it was only him and his sick admirers, i wouldn’t even really care. It’s the masses that applaud his work which disturbs me. This filth harvested an Oscar, won other awards, and got nominated numerous times, and was / is scored higher by the public than the 2 other landmark movies i presented here, showing the ultra ugly face of members of vanilla society, their hypocrisy, indifference, ignorance, desire to hurt, and to glorify violence.

No matter how educated people like to present themselves, no matter how they try to come across as decent human beings, no matter their claim to have compassion and to crave integrity, honor, and honesty, when peeling off the first layers, their weak and pitiful persona surfaces in no time.

And for all of u, who only know the atrocities of this world from watching movies, the news, reading newspapers, or hearsay, i’ll repeat once more: There is no glory in killing people, there is no joy in watching ur enemy perish, there is no satisfaction when having destroyed an army, there is no honor in demolishing someone’s home. But there is sadness, guilt, and the feeling to have failed. I know, at times there will be a need to defend urself against the hordes of scumbags and lowlifes inhabiting this planet with us. I know i did, and willing to do it again! But u don’t go out there to kill them with pleasure. U don’t enjoy their agony when u take their life. And u don’t support the ones who do. Not even when sitting safely at home, letting others do ur dirty work. Cos if u do, u don’t deserve to live urself!

It was a beautiful morning, with clear skies, a warm breeze, and 5 hungry females. So we had a delicious breakfast.

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