A funny thing happened............ Part 2

B4 we move on, let’s reflect and rehearse a bit.

Observe the picture above. What do u see? What do u think? What do u think i think? What is this about? Is this a woman playing a role in some kind of B-movie? Is she a housewife gone wild? Maybe she’s an operative of the Tzahal or Aman? Simply a hit-woman fulfilling her contract? Is it Bauhinia Heroine, forcing someone to take her money? A sexy bank robber? The next Wonder Woman? A femdom aiming at a DSM?

Murmur from the crowd: "DSM? What the heck does that mean, Ayesha?” “Yeah, what are you talking about this time, you flaming daughter of a bitch eh?”

Ayesha: "Don’t u know? Where have u been u ignorant moron? It stands for Devalued Submissive Male, a creature which is standing proudly in the limelight these days, soon to claim his rightful place at Madame Tussauds!"

Voice from the crowd: "Come on. We are sick and tired of this stupid rehearsal. Just tell us who she is, so we can move on, dammit!”

Ayesha: "Yes, i know exactly who she is. But i won’t tell. Cos u know me eh? I’m not here to lecture u, or to bias ur interpretations and opinions with the truth."

Yes let’s move on indeed, and find out what’s so funny.

It all began when i visited Dev’s blog. Dev’s a woman after my own heart. Well, that’s what i thought when reading her blog on the supposedly devaluation of male submission. Sentences like, “He challenges me to live up to the values we both espouse, and lets me know what his needs and wants are”, can make me all fuzzy and warm. Not that they r exactly mirroring my ideas, but when i realized there was a woman in the virtual world who, like me, loves to be challenged by her slave(s), i simply had to comment:

“Bravo! Ur blog is not related to vanilla femdom, but leans more to feminine femdom. As it should be :)”



The topic seemed to be hot, cos in the following days/weeks it spilled over to several other blogs. In Dev’s blog these comments mostly turned out to belong to the “feeling sorry for oneself”, and of the “thank you, thank you, thank you” kind. Yes, i know, mea culpa, my interpretation. Anyway, it gave me reason to post this as well:

“After having read all the comments on this blog so far, i find it amazing, if not disturbing, that i rarely hear the voices of those who, like me, r opposed to humiliation, degradation, and dehumanizing of males within the realm of femdom, on blogs where submissiveness is pictured as a weakness, as inferior, as……well, as something despicable and yet to thrive on. Why don’t u people open ur mouth there, and let these idiots and parasites know, that femdom is not simply a derivation of patriarchal vanilla sex, or the next porn outlet?

Come on, be brave, go out there, and share ur views in places where they’re not welcome, where it is not safe to do so, where they will eat u alive. Yeah right. Don’t be afraid of paper tigers. Tell them!”

Oooooopsssssss!

In comes Meitar.

Among other things, he’s an activist, scholar, lecturer, and speaker, calling himself a social justice technologist. I think he’s actually a nice guy. At least he seems to live up to his ideas in an area where most people would hide in their closet. His friends call him maymay, but since i’m not his friend, i can’t do that.

Meitar deemed it necessary to lecture me a bit, saying: “Ayesha, you’re barking up the wrong tree for many, many reasons:……….”

And then there was an extensive summary of my dog-like behavior. I tell u, not very flattering, but hey, i’m used to stuff like that.

In comes Dev, saying: “I actually regularly humiliate and dehumanize my submissive."

Geeeez, i had to get out of that place. These weren’t my people at all! Feminine femdom abhors humiliation, degradation, and dehumanization, in any form. I save those for dealing with obnoxious vanilla lowlifes, when it’s appropriate and done. But with my slaves? No way! Then i consider these things worse than the plague, contaminating, polluting, and poisoning the very beauty of my way of living, and preventing us for instance to gracefully entering the singularity.

Again i had been way to optimistic and naïve (sigh). So i sent this:

“Apparently i made a mistake. Ur femdom isn’t feminine femdom. No humiliation etc there.

As for this maymay person? I heard this kind of babbling many times b4. It’s vanilla to the bone. Good stuff for never ending conversations on the couch tho, while happily consuming cheese and wine, and enjoying the support of likeminded babblers.

So, excuse my intrusion, and never mind what i was trying to get across.”

But my ordeal wasn’t over yet. Not by a long shot. Even after i had left, i still had to endure the wrath of the righteous ones. Why was that? Cos all of it ended up in my mailbox. Yes, mea culpa again. Maybe i left it open on purpose? Did they know? Or did they not believe i had left, labeling me a liar, still being around? Maybe they didn’t care if i was there or not, and had to ventilate their anger, or whatever, no matter what? Why would people do stuff like that? Beats me. Well, not really. I know why. But u wouldn’t want to know. Or do u? Maybe u know already urself? Interpretations? Assumptions?

Meitar wrote among other things:

“Clearly, you do not know me. Listen closely because I’ll only say this once: we could be allies unless you turn me against you—and I would not hesitate to take either position, given a useful reason for one over the other.”

Oh my gawd, this was a direct threat! Why would he do that? After all, he also said somewhere in this thread: “I disagree with how they play, but I will defend to the death their right to play that way.” Does that not count for me? Am i not allowed to play that way, my way? Am i the outcast here? A damned Pariah? Am i the one who has to be punished and suffer for having sinned against the crowd, the principles of (neo)-bdsm, the holy grail of mainstream femdom, or against whatever could have hatched in the mind of my ireful Inquisitor? Must i be the scapegoat now? Am i predestined to become the lamb to be slaughtered? To save others from my evil? Am i the chosen one?

And even worse, imagine what could happen, should we meet in r/l, and should i not have behaved according to the commandments and wishes of the Activist. The very thought of that makes me shiver!



Or this?



He’s right tho. I don’t know him. And i have no intention to change this state of affairs. I knew enough. Why should i want to know more? I don’t want to be his friend, nor do i need him as an ally. I left, remember. Should speak for itself, no?

Of cors, he doesn’t know much of me either. Which makes me wonder. Here we have an intelligent man, with both his feet firmly on the ground, seasoned by many significant life experiences (yes, yes, i did read some of his many online presentations), by far not as naive as i am, and yet he threatens me, a person he has no clue of what she’s capable of or not. Well, he should know something eh? There r some clues no? Maybe he missed them? Or found them laughable and ridiculous? I never do that u know. I was trained to never underestimate anybody. Not even people i would consider a louse, a weasel, an idiot, physically handicapped, or a combat rookie. And certainly not one i didn’t know much about. Life showed me that i was taught well. And i never threaten a person either. I never go to an individual and tell him or her to shape up, shut up, do this, or don’t do that………or else. It’s wrong u know. And rude. And not wise. Never warn a person. It’s ineffective u know.

In rolls Tomio, steaming:

“With all due respect, STFU. You know nothing of my life, and therefore you have no ability, much less right, to describe how I should spend it.”

and…………….

” …………..you have no right to make demands and paint everyone with a broad brush. Doing so will only alienate those who should have been your allies and it will not win over one “enemy.” Ever.”


See how that works? I mean interpreting words, sentences, entire pages?

Take for instance Tomio’s “STFU”. I’m sure some of u would assume it stands for “shut the fuck up”. Not very nice eh? And so rude too. But then again, there’s a polite explanation as well, i.e. “shut the freak up”. How about that eh? Much, much better. Then we have, “show them fury unleashed”. Is that what Tomio had in mind? I’m sure it was. Fits me better, don’t u think?

Unlike Meitar, Tomio denies me rights. Meitar would die for me, for me to keep my rights, while Tomio seems to be ready to kill me for that.

Tomio also assumes i’m looking for allies, and want to win over enemies, while i most certainly don’t.

After having cooled down a bit, Tomio’s volcano erupts again. And remember, i wasn’t even there. Funny, funny.

“But I do have to thank you for the laugh when you called maymay out as vanilla. That’s so ignorant that I may shoot milk out of my nose after the fact.”

An inner voice whispered to me: “Pssssst, Ayesha? Cuidao, Señora. Haven’t u noticed? There’s sarcasm in the air!” I couldn’t believe that. Not he, not my Tomio. Totally wrong interpretation of his words!

So Tomio was drinking milk? Or planning too? Maybe there was a lactating cow in his nose? I couldn’t possibly know, and i refuse to draw wild conclusions. What i do know tho, is that i never called Meitar (maymay for his friends) vanilla. I called his babbling vanilla. That’s different u know (well as i see it eh?), and i wouldn’t want to generalize.

He continued with an avalanche of assumptions and accusations.

“………people like you are just as stultifying and damaging to men’s psyches as anything tossed out by Kink, Inc. At least they know what they are and don’t pretend to be on the side of male submissives while knifing their spiritual back because they don’t measure up to a non-existent rating scale you have developed.”

Huh? Wtf? Sounds intriguing tho. I love knives. And i’m excellent indeed when it comes to damaging men’s psyches. U should see me playing chess with them (grin).

Oh, and he called me lazy! The nerve! I tell u, not many r as industrious as i am. Remember that old La Fontaine tale about the cricket and the ant? Yes Sir, i’m the ant, always taking care of business, Sir. But it’s true, when getting a chance, i just love to be a lazy bitch, goofing off the entire day, letting others do all the work, and still taking credit for it.

Sir Tomio also said he had evidence that my prime motivator was self-aggrandizement. I didn’t even know what that meant. I had to look it up. So now i know, and am able again to take part in sophisticated babblings, where difficult words r tossed around like dice on the crap(s) table, to confuse the participants. But then again, self-aggrandizement? That should be my prime motivator? Really? Nooooooo. Now where did that come from, hmm?

U know what also caught my eye? With all the need for, and display of, tolerance, the willingness to die for the rights of others, the warm thankfulness for finding oneself in the cradle of likeminded people, and the incredible blessing to finally be allowed to open up, it was totally funny to observe there also were a few signs of intolerance and even hate. Yes, that's right: Hate! Nah, not in relation to me (cors not!), not in Tomio’s anger, and certainly not coming from patronizing Meitar, but crawling up via the rest of the crowd. Which is remarkably funny indeed, cos nowadays, tolerance is shouted from almost every rooftop, and preached from every corner in Cyberspace, where the citizens of Kink Country r dwelling, gathering, and writing.

For instance, more than once there was a display of disdain and contempt for people who love to strut around in leather outfits and stuff like that. As usual not in a direct way, but i could feel it, smell it, even touch it. No, no, i’m not assuming now. This is not simply a bad interpretation either. And although some will say i have no right to say this, i know i’m right, right? It’s one of the reasons why i ceased to be an activist in the velvet underground. Too many people there with triple agendas. Too many liars telling the world about their honesty. Too many pseudo gurus and self proclaimed messiahs with a quest. Or should i follow up on Tomio, and say, non-existent quests? Too many world healers too, u know. I wrote about that a few blogs back.

Going back now to the devaluation of male submission, i did some research myself. There’s really something going on in that area, people. It’s no joke either. Look at what i found.

Poor men! All seems to be lost. But there’s a bright side u know. A silver lining indeed. It’s not about my men. It’s about all the other men. It’s about the ones feeling sorry for themselves, drowning in self-pity. It’s about the ones who blame me, and other women of my caliber, for their misery. In fact they’re blaming the entire world for their misfortune. It’s the common way to have a socially accepted excuse for staying inactive, having failed, and being grumpy.

Here’s my take on all this, as it was published b4 on another blog to which the issue meandered, picked up, and addressed.

"Are submissive men devalued? Certainly not by me. I simply love them, cherish them. I even put them on a pedestal. Or hang them from the ceiling. Or.......... Anyway i consider them GODS! Gods who do my bidding cos there's no other way for them, gods who challenge me, gods who manage to get the best and worst out of me, gods i just can’t stand sometimes. Of cors, i’m referring here to the ones who live up to my standards, and who don’t waste time by trying to find out what that is, d/s. They already know. They don’t need definitions, confirmations, or support. They don’t care if others accept them for what they r or not. They don’t need to find out if they’re right or wrong. Cos wrong and right, and everything in between, don’t belong to their world. They just go with what they r, how they feel, and what makes them horny. The rest of them, the victims of childhood, the victims of society, the victims of their libido, the not-understood, the whiners, the complainers, the teachers, the philosophers, the healers, and the blamers, devaluated or not , can take a hike, or go on doing whatever keeps them from being a slave.

Hmmmm, maybe i’ll incorporate this comment in my next funny blog :) "

And so i did. Amen.



What? U want to read all on Dev’s blog? To see if i quoted honestly perhaps? Or simply cos u want to taste the full flavor of what went on there? OK. Here u go! Enjoy!



But b4 u go, watch the video. It’s a great clip. Well, for me eh. Maybe u will say it’s junk. Funny thing is tho, it will give u an idea of the kind of people i descend from, as well as the kind i like to associate with.

לחיים

A funny thing happened............

No, no, not on the way to the Forum, and not to the Moon either. Ergo, and this may be disappointing for some of u, this blog is not about Pseudolus and his gang, nor will it incorporate the Van Allen belts. But it was funny, and it happened too. Where? In a blog. Yes, in a blog. Which can be seen as a kind of a forum too, no? As a matter of fact, it was not that funny u know, but in a way it was. Guess it depends a bit on what u would label as funny, and what not. Or half-funny. Or only 20%. Maybe some people would have called it sad. Or silly. Or a milestone.

Which brings me to Watzlawick. Remember Paul? No? Well he was one of the leading authorities in the field of communication. I learned a lot from him, and loved to read most of his books. If u haven't yet, u really should try: 'Pragmatics of Human Communication'; 'How Real is Real?'; 'Ultra-Solutions: How to Fail Most Successfully'; and 'The Situation is Hopeless, but not Serious'. Funny stuff too.



One thing that kept me busy for a rather long time, and was most amusing, was what he had to say about how we interpret other peoples messages. When doing so in RealityLand, we respond, react, interact, and reply on the basis of all the info which is filtering through to us. We have sound, mimic, pantomimic, in fact the complete range of body-language. Did u know that even ugly and fat bodies can’t hide their language? No? Well, u know now! But tell me, how skilled r u to read that language properly? Huh? That poor eh? Terrible, terrible. Do something about it! U will benefit from it.

Anyway, the filter is of utmost importance here, as most people i know, including myself, block certain information due to the structure of their personality and the situation at hand. I think it's clear: We r selecting which info we allow to come to us, and which has to go to our garbage bin. And..... we're interpreting the info we harvest as well, therefore creating mega possibilities for misinterpretation of the original, already mutilated, message. All this seems to be 'natural' for us humans. Point is tho, to really make an effort, to really go for it, to understand what a messenger was trying to communicate to us. Well.... i mean, if we would give a rat’s ass. I'm optimistic tho, as most people i know in r/l, r emphasizing they truly want to grasp what the other is saying. Guess it has something to do with that open mind thingy i wrote about a few blogs back.

But no matter the sincerity of our attempts, no matter all the extra miles we r willing to walk, crawl, or dance, we always will stay in bondage with this. There’s no real escape possible. Only the Platonic illusion. Only the interpretation that we did. Which of cors is a good thing, cos i love bondage, mentally as well as physically. It’s great to completely possess a person. Not only for the weekend, or during a cozy evening at home, but for ever.Taking away from her/him any possibility to escape, is one of the things that makes me tick, that can awake that delicious side of me, which others fear, hate, and yet wouldn’t want to miss for heaven.


Btw, as i wrote so many times b4, that’s the difference between playing/acting and being who u r 24/7/365, between recreational/mainstream/patriarchal based femdom and the one i’ve baptized feminine femdom. FFD is in ur DNA, blood, or whatever, like it is with the color of ur eyes, the shape of ur bones, and the chemistry of ur limbic system, or it is not. It’s there 24/7/365, for as long as u live, or it is not!

Now, take a good look at the first picture above, a.k.a. the main picture. What is it all about? Of cors u’ve already noticed that the background is the Forum Romanum amidst a bunch of ruins in the center of Rome. Hehe, not Rome Illinois or a zillion other places carrying that name, and not even the province, but Roma, capitale d’Italia. Capisci?

Oh, u never visited Roma? But u should u know. I admit, many rats in that city, even the human kind, but b4 u die, u not only should visit Naples (no not in Florida silly, i mean Napoli!), but at least have tasted the air of Antico Caffè della Pace, and danced the night away in Goa. And of cors u wouldn’t want to skip the Foro Romano, hehehe.

Back to the picture again. Wisecracker mumbles: “Background? What background? What r u talking about Ayesha? Who said these ruins must be background eh?” And Smartass adds: “Yeah right! Who gave u the right to sentence these beautiful remains of human glory to background eh?” Ayesha: “I said that, u ignorant cookie. And what i say goes! Now shut the fuck up, u dumb rear end”.

Grrrrrrrr. Can’t stand these people, always arguing, always accusing, always knowing things better, and always questioning my good intentions. But ok let’s continue. What is that woman, holding the smoking gun, looking at? Is it the other woman? Is it the vase? Maybe both? What is she thinking? Is it: “That bitch is next”? Or: “When home again, i’ll buy a vase like that, but i won’t put those stinking flowers in it”? Maybe she isn’t looking at that woman at all, and ponders: “Damn, that bird got away”. Or: “Father in heaven will watch over me, even if i shoot Ayesha”. Hmmm, u know what i think? What my interpretation is? She’s smitten with me, and now that she’s done her job, and has put her rival away, she can only dream of a sexual encounter with me. Makes me feel hot!

U see? I’m sure some of u disagree, and believe she never could go for a person like me. Well, that’s ur interpretation, remember? That's ur assumption. That was ur filter acting up. And it’s wrong, hehehe. Besides, i also say, some of u do believe what i said, but would rather bite their tongue, then to admit same.



And who is she anyway? Where does she come from? Is she a hit-woman from Sicilia? Washington DC? Perhaps a sinister member of the Illuminati? And then, which one eh? A housewife from The Hamptons (no not England u moron. Geeeez!), fed up with her no good cheating husband? That slime-ball who vowed to be her slave, and then went to some porno teen? Could she simply be a model, holding a fake gun? And what about that other woman? What’s wrong with her? Is she in distress? Is she an abandoned Goddess from the ancient Roman Empire? Maybe there’s nothing wrong with her. Maybe she just had an exquisite orgasm. Or is meditating about a vase with flowers? U name it.

And u do u know. As do i. We do name it. We do it all the time. We seldom ask questions. I mean, with good intentions. Instead, we assume, interpret, and filter, without even knowing it. Mostly without wanting to know it. Well….um…..as u’ve just noticed, i do. I do want to know. I know exactly when i do it, and when not. Ok, ok, most of the time. And only when in the mood. U too? Do u? Do u admit it too? Really? Hmmmm, we’ll see.

Btw, have u looked in the mirror lately? Yes? What did u see? Was it u? Was it a reflection of u? Did u feel strange? As if u weren’t u? Did this fear u? Or did u love it? Oh, and did u know that as long as u live, and even after that, u will never be able to see the movement of ur own eyes? U think that’s nonsense? Try it!


So far u got my drift? Very good. So from now on u will acknowledge and share with me the reality, that ur communication with others is tainted by interpretations and assumptions, which, more than once, will only contaminate the flow of information, and instead of creating an atmosphere of harmony and understanding, even if u were trying ur best to avoid same, quite frequently will lead to quarrel, more assumptions, disagreement, more interpretations, silly arguing, jumping to conclusions, stupid accusations, more assumptions, oppressive actions, and finally to a complete status of amnesia of what this was all about in the first place. Of cors this wouldn’t necessarily mean u would come to ur senses, would try to see the fun of it all, or take a hike. Chances r u would go on, and on, and on, trying to convince others how right u r, how wrong the other party is, and even warn that party to back off, or else……



Now picture these processes in Cyberspace, where we only have the written word, a more or less accurate profile of the sender/receiver, or no profile at all. Chaos i tell u. Not noticed of cors as long as we're scratching the back of our beloved ones, our brothers and sisters in crime, fetish, or d/s, and .......r scratched back. Yes, then we have harmony, and never ending love. Well, depending on our interpretations and assumptions of cors. Yes, then we're in Nirvana, Walhalla, or some other cozy illusionary sanctuary. But when there's some antagonism picked up by one of the participants, yes then, oh my, chances r, all hell will break loose. Just as it would in r/l. Havoc all over the place, and a cultivated specimen of Freud's Es (Id) will soon be stampeding through the virtual neighborhood.

U know, sometimes i do it on purpose. Cos it’s funny to pull a few legs, to provoke people a bit by tickling their paradigms, or to challenge their new found realities, missions, discoveries, and harmonies. And not only on my way to the Forum, the Moon, or in the blog of Dev. Yes, yes, it was her blog i was referring to. Only as an example tho, as the funny things that were happening there, r happening in many places, whether on the way to the Moon, the FR, or in other virtual environments.

So, these were the preliminaries. Enough of that now. In my next blog i will reveal all the juicy details. Or part of it. Or nothing at all. Cos i’m a very moody and erratic person u know. One moment i promise u this, the next minute the opposite, and the next day i forgot all about it. Yes, that’s me. And that’s a fact, no matter ur interpretation, no matter ur assumptions, and no matter what filter u placed between me and u.

R u still with me? Ti piace qui? Davvero! Molto bene :)

Beautiful Vanilla

It was a beautiful evening, close to midnight. A full moon was decorating the cloudless sky, draping its light over the pool, the surrounding palm trees, and our lazy bodies.

Anita left us the first, and went to the atrium, doing whatever a woman of her caliber has to do. Then Minerva went inside, taking Lucinda with her, followed a few minutes later by Alejandra. So there i was, all alone with the moon and my thoughts. Episodes of my life passed by, overlapping each other timelessly as if they were one. Suddenly i found myself dreaming about my life with Shirah, the time i spent with her in Haifa, the Golan, the warzone in which she died, the pain that never had left me, and the bastards that still r killing my people. Unrest boiled up in my mind, rushing through my body, and taking over my soul. I needed to relax, to find something to distract me from the overwhelming desire to create havoc once again, and to sooth my upcoming rage.



So I went inside as well, to find the others.

As Lucinda saw me enter, she must have sensed my turmoil, and approached me with her firm gentleness, which is so characteristic for this wonderful woman, who once made her home on the streets of Bogotá. She feels me as i feel myself. As i felt Shirah. Her presence calms me down. She makes me hate less.

The others also know when it’s time to keep silent and to engage me in some kind of activity to bring me back to the here and now, far away from the horrors of the past, and my addiction to steer my thoughts back to times i refuse to forget.



We were going to watch a movie or 2.

The first one was: “My Sister’s Keeper”. An incredibly emotional movie about two sisters in their teens, and their family. One with incurable blood cancer, and the other one brought into this world as a supplier of body parts to keep the dying one alive. I’ve seldom seen a movie in which human emotions were portrayed so magnificently as in this one. While watching, we cried a lot, and felt much related. If people can be like that, without exempting anybody who played a role in this film, i’m willing to reflect on my rather negative views regarding vanilla people, and reconsider some of my attitudes towards them.

Our second choice: “The Blind Side”. A beautiful movie about truly warm human relations, and unconditional love against all societal odds, with Sandra Bullock playing the woman of my heart. A masterpiece. Well….um……ok then….this time i’ll go along with it. Again one which shows that there may be still a few vanillas around, whose friendship i could cherish. Remarkable and absolutely recommended.


The third one: “Inglourious Basterds”. Guess it was Anita who put that one into the player. She can’t stand it when i go soft, as mentally she’s going through a difficult time herself these days, and needs me more than ever to stand tall at her side, unforgivable, ready and eager to destroy all that caused her lose part of her womanhood. But i don’t think she would have done this, had she known what really was on that dvd.

Anybody who knows me a little bit, knows i hate fascists and Nazis, and all that, even remotely, comes with them. As this movie is about a group of jewish-american soldiers, dropped behind German lines some time b4 D-day, to slaughter any German soldier they would encounter, in order to create fear and demoralization among the supposedly invincible German troops, i cheered its contents, and thought i was in for a pleasant ride. Little did i know.

As the film evolved, my disgust was building. At the end i was sick to my stomach, as were my companions. Cruelty for the sake of cruelty. Torture as a way of entertainment. Killing for pleasure. That’s what the famous Quentin Tarantino had put on my plate. Well damn him, and the rest of his crew! I’m sure the man has never set foot on a battlefield, and has no clue of what’s really going on there. He must be a pitiful human being, craving to depict the lowest of human behavior imaginable. And not with the purpose to educate or warn people of what they’re capable of, but to deliver the filthiest of filth to entertain us. And if it was only him and his sick admirers, i wouldn’t even really care. It’s the masses that applaud his work which disturbs me. This filth harvested an Oscar, won other awards, and got nominated numerous times, and was / is scored higher by the public than the 2 other landmark movies i presented here, showing the ultra ugly face of members of vanilla society, their hypocrisy, indifference, ignorance, desire to hurt, and to glorify violence.

No matter how educated people like to present themselves, no matter how they try to come across as decent human beings, no matter their claim to have compassion and to crave integrity, honor, and honesty, when peeling off the first layers, their weak and pitiful persona surfaces in no time.

And for all of u, who only know the atrocities of this world from watching movies, the news, reading newspapers, or hearsay, i’ll repeat once more: There is no glory in killing people, there is no joy in watching ur enemy perish, there is no satisfaction when having destroyed an army, there is no honor in demolishing someone’s home. But there is sadness, guilt, and the feeling to have failed. I know, at times there will be a need to defend urself against the hordes of scumbags and lowlifes inhabiting this planet with us. I know i did, and willing to do it again! But u don’t go out there to kill them with pleasure. U don’t enjoy their agony when u take their life. And u don’t support the ones who do. Not even when sitting safely at home, letting others do ur dirty work. Cos if u do, u don’t deserve to live urself!




It was a beautiful morning, with clear skies, a warm breeze, and 5 hungry females. So we had a delicious breakfast.