Friday, March 2, 2012
During a recent exchange of comments/opinions i had with the owner of another blog, i wrote among other things: I don't trade anything. I don't think in priorities. I never compromise.
This triggered the following reaction: I call bullshit on that. A military member who's faced combat and has never had to compromise? Ludicrous Either you have no principles to be compromised or you refuse to acknowledge that you've faced situations in which conflicting principles had to be prioritized and action taken.
And a little later: In a variety of settings, virtually every single one I can think of, those are incredibly fanciful claims. From my vantage point as a family member of those who've been in combat I know it is especially unrealistic in a war zone.
So there u have it (1) . Stating that i never compromise, is unrealistic, ludicrous, an incredibly fanciful claim, and bullshit. Bang!
So there u have it (2). Stating that i never compromise, shows that i have no principles or that i refuse to acknowledge reality. Bang, bang!
It’s not my intention to discuss and repeat this here again. U can read it all on her blog. Find it halfway the comment section. As i recall it starts with me entering in the middle of her rant (and the usual follow up rants from her supporters) about on-liners telling her and other alleged dominant women how they should behave, saying: Hmmmm, is this how real dominant women write? All silly stuff of cors, but still good to have a laugh or 2.
What i do want to say here is this. The lady who accuses me of #1 and #2, is confusing compromise with making a choice. And choices i make indeed. All the time actually. But compromises? Nah, i hate those. They r not for me. I’ll never choose for them. Why is that? Cos when people compromise they never get what they wanted in the first place. And neither does the other party. It’s actually a lose-lose situation. And who wants that? Not me. People do it all the time tho. Why is that? Cos they rather go with less than to get nothing. And also cos they don’t believe that it’s possible to get what they want, or r afraid of the other party. So they choose to compromise.
To compromise became a way of living. It’s a lifestyle driven by fear for missing out, not being worthy, and cowardice. To compromise is seeking an easy way out. Often with devastating and horrible results. Of cors this makes its practitioners feel bad, lousy, and inferior about themselves. That they don’t want either, and can’t bear with same. So they start looking for a solution to sooth those feelings, to get rid of them. Eureka! How about making compromising a virtue, a good thing, a way that shows how realistic u r, how great u r in assessing the situation, and then act on it according to ur new found credo: "I did the best I could"? An absurd idea, but a helpful one. A sublime way to run with the hare and hunt with the hounds. And of cors a great excuse for being a coward.
No wonder they resist, and call me a liar and delusional, when i come along and casually declare that i don’t compromise. It’s too painful for them to be confronted with that, to be reminded of how lousy their point of view and how pitiful their behavior actually is. It hurts too much. It shatters their perfectly constructed world, their illusionary reality. "Damn, we can’t let that happen! En garde!" Ergo, what Ayesha says must be bullshit. Open mind anyone?
To compromise, to negotiate what is not negotiable, to discuss what shouldn’t be discussed, to stray from the highway and settle for a middle road, will only lead to more wars, more poverty, more inequality, more hunger, more bigotry, more betrayal, more hidden agendas, more distrust, and more vanilla slavery. U should say no to that! And act accordingly. Time to change a paradigm or 2 wouldn’t u say?
Yes it’s hard to think out of ur box, to blow up ur soap bubble, and to leave ur comfort zone for a while. It’s terrifying to acknowledge that most of ur views, beliefs, and paradigms, were imposed on u, that u identified with them without checking if they truly belonged to u, and that it is u who became a clone of ur society, blindly following ur leaders. Even more so, if u believe that it is u who belongs to the righteous ones, that u see things as they really r, that u deserve that medal, that u r a hero, that u have that glorious open mind, and r supported in that by other crippled ones.
Life is about making real choices people. Not compromises. Compromises r for people who don’t dare to stand up for themselves, who will betray their loved ones in favor of the enemy, and still believe they’re doing the right thing. And u know what? Even when making a choice without compromising, not being a coward, going for what u think is the right thing to do, and not giving in, u can’t be sure u made the right choice, cos u never will know what would have happened had u chosen differently. Yeah, life is also about taking risks, about celebrating them, about uncertainty, and passionately embracing same. Yes, when it comes right down to it, life is a bitch. She truly is. But a sexy one. Precious, passionate, and whimsical. Just like u always wanted her to be. Unless u try to compromise with her. Then life is a dick. He truly is. To be precise: A lame and limp one.