Sunday, March 18, 2012


When was the last time u washed the inside of ur windows? And what about the outside? U did that too? Oh, u do not ever do that? U r in a FLR and have ur pet-husband for that? U subscribe to “real women don’t do housework”? So what do u do with all that free time? Waiting patiently by the window till ur man has finished the job, then inspect his work and punish him appropriately according to ur mutually agreed upon and signed TOS? Putting the last hand on ur latest embroidery? Knitting? Playing Solitaire? Watching Desperate Housewives? Re-reading Sutton’s silly mommy-dommes guide? Hmmm, maybe u should make an effort and clean the windows of ur soul instead. Cos that’s what this blog is all about: The windows of ur soul. And mine of cors.

Never heard of those windows? Time to meet Johari then. No, Johari is not a person. It’s a model/technique, created by señores Ingman and Luft, for detecting and assessing what’s going on inside people’s soul, mind, and mental bowels, how much of that they’re willing and capable to share with others, what they know about all that, and what not, all loosely based on the insights and theories of señor Jung, one of the more influential shrinks, and, without his consent, spiritual father of many moronic clubs/cliques which members r on a quest to find themselves, simultaneously trying to convince others to embark on the same lame journey.

Here it is in a graphical form:

To every window belongs a room from which u can watch the outside world passing by, including other people’s rooms. Of cors u also can stand in ur garden, or on ur front porch, and look into ur own room urself, or sit in it, cleaning, organizing, reshuffling, or removing its furniture, carpeting, books, left over pizza, blood from yesterday's whipping session, etc. Some windows allow, at times even invite, outsiders to peep inside and feast their eyes on ur reality show, while other windows r closed by u, or were closed, with or without ur consent, to ur dismay or not, by ur parents, priests, teachers, or other nasty self proclaimed authorities.

Not all rooms r of the same size. Depending on how creepy ur personality is, some rooms can be very spacious, while others resemble a tiny walk-in-closet.

There’s also a dream Johari windows, with corresponding rooms. It’s a kind of a double without being the real u, and yet it is u. Yes it’s a sinister one that one. One which one often encounters in the virtual world, a.k.a. Cyberspace, where herds of people create personalities representing how they would like to be, but never will dare to be like that outside of that world. The population of Second Life for instance is a great example of this.

Johari saw the light of day in an era when the Internet was still in its infancy. So nowadays we could easily argue there’s a third one, a virtual Johari window, closely related to his dreamy nephew indeed, but much more accessible for the rest of the world since it’s uploaded to Cyberspace ad nauseam.

The more the three models overlap each other, the more genuine and authentic a person, u included, is. B4 jumping for joy and demanding a medal for that, u should exercise some caution and entertain a bit of prudence tho, cos it doesn’t necessarily mean u would be a good person as well. There r genuine crooks, cowards, neurotics, criminals, psychopaths, and clones, u know. Could be u r one of them no?


This is the place where u and i let people freely look inside us. No secrets here. Only openness, hospitality, and sharing of what’s going on without any restrictions. Here we feel safe to let people know how we feel, think, and act. And why. But only to a certain extent. Only the part that we want people to know. Only the part that we can handle. Only the part that we r not ashamed of. Only the part that we’re not afraid of. Some people build only a small room for that, scared as they r to open up a large part of their personality. Other folks fake openness, trying to con people about it. In blogs, u can be sure that a person, contrary to his/her efforts to make u believe otherwise, has only a tiny open window giving access to only a small open room, when she/he is constantly dumping a shitload of non-committal content and/or pedestrian small talk on the Internet. Often larded with cliché wit and pseudo wisdom. Of cors these people attract likeminded ones like flies r attracted to dung, and enthusiastically welcome them to their realm. They have a difficult time tho, without admitting same, with more open minded and lust for life citizens of Cyberspace, and actually hate those for being so candid, straightforward, wild, and free. And yet, some of them try to get along with these free ones still, but in the end they will always fail in that. To save their already shaken comfort zone and fragile self-esteem from entirely going down the sewers, they will begin to picture these free ones as liars, trolls, fakes, and Lilith knows what more, and prevent them from further commenting on their blogs.

I love to open my windows, to let the fresh or polluted air in, to inhale the beauty of life, to embrace and condemn the world as it is, to let people see me as i am, not hesitating to show for instance my arrogance, cruelty, elegance, aggressiveness, non-compromising attitude, addiction to have things my way, lust for wearing leather, and having exotic sex with wild women and men.

I think the world would be a far better place if more men and women would shake off their fear, and genuinely would open up to others. So start cleaning ur windows, and extend ur open room. Here, maybe this video will bring u in the right mood, and help u on ur way! Even if u don’t understand her language, u must be a complete idiot to not feel her and get the message she trying to get across!


Window here is hermetically closed. At least that’s what u r hoping for (grin). Heavy curtains r in place. Blinds r up. Nobody is allowed to look inside the room. Basta! Here ur secrets r residing. This is the place where u hide all that which u don’t dare to show to other people, stuff u believe could hurt or embarrass u, r ashamed of, or u rather would want not to exist. Or…… them dearly, r addicted to them, but feel too guilty about that u would want to move them to the room with the open window instead of keeping them imprisoned in this mostly cancerous room.

Personally this is the room where MyEgo lives. Remember her? I’m sure u do. She’s the one i must control more than anyone or anything else. She whispers the horniest, cruelest, unheard of sadistic, and unimaginable erotic ideas, into my ears. She’s driving me insane, and willing to use any available tool to seduce me to do her bidding. A true tyrant, wanting me to give in to her suggestions and enact them without delay. When she’s on top of her thing, and is really going for it, i more than ever understand why Steel wants me to never release him from his chains. There r times i can’t resist her pressure. Then i give her a free ride, and go along with the desires of this pure, egoistic, and insatiable bitch. It’s then when i allow her to come with me, to leave my hidden compartment, to curl up with me by the open fire place, and have dinner with me in my luxurious and spacious open room, for all to see, for all to fear. Damn, i should have the guts to always let her free.

Blind spot

This is a tricky one. This is the one where i’m supposed not to see what all others can see. But it’s true. There is stuff others have pointed out to me, i wasn’t aware of at all, or resisted to acknowledge its existence. For instance, i’m always claiming that i hate teaching, and yet people tell me they learn a lot from me, and that i’m one heck of a teacher. So maybe i am indeed, but due to the fact that i can’t stand explaining things to morons and people who r full of themselves while actually they’re as empty and hollow as a mouldered tree trunk or a rusty oil drum, i’m reluctant to admit same.

On the other hand, i too can see things through the glass of ur hidden window, no matter how good u r to keep ur stuff out of sight. Especially when it comes to femdom i have an extremely well developed seventh sense :) No slave can hide anything from me. But then again, they don’t want to, so i guess this doesn’t count, hehe. When it comes to the virtual world, i can spot fake dominas and slaves just like that. Reason why they often have a need to argue with me, get angry and self-defensive when i tell them they r not the right stuff, and try to convince me that they have the right to call anything femdom as long as the people involved agree upon their definition of it. Yeah right. Such nonsense! Going along with crap like that is like admitting that a pussycat is a tiger.

Of cors i must distinguish between people who genuinely believe they’re on my level, or truly think they’re dominant cos they deviate a bit from the vanilla world, and the ones who absolutely r aware of the fact that they’re not into slavery at all, and only want to play silly games during their leisure time, but still want others to believe they r a true dominant or slave. The latter r not dwelling in their blind spot room, but r simply trying to hide their true nature from us.

I think it’s safe to say that in general, people will deny all that’s not visible to them.


Not much to say about this one, except that nobody knows what’s going on in this room. It’s the unknown people. A place u know nothing about, and most of u don’t want to know about either. Still it’s an intriguing place no? Something like the dark forest u always were afraid to enter at night the time u were a kid. Guess u still r a bit reluctant to visit the woods on a moonless night, hehe. Who knows what could be hiding in the shadows eh? Nothing! No one! Sure enough u won’t find any demons, werewolves, vampires, zombies or other riff-raff lurking in the bushes and under the trees. That’s all old women tales. But what about all the other unknown life forms eh? And what if u would meet the serpent there eh? Or a duck? What would u do then eh? Yes i know, u don’t know. Nobody does!

Life taught me how to handle fear, to take risks, to value adventure, and to dive into the unknown. And besides, i’m easily bored and more curious than a cat. For me it’s thrilling to go where others don’t dare to go. It’s in my blood to test myself, to welcome challenges, to laugh at the warnings of the wise ones, and to mock the impossible by making it possible. So, already years ago i fetched me a crow-bar, forced open the window to the unknown room and looked inside, expecting to see darkness. To my surprise it was not so. The room was warm, cozy, and quite inviting. Another surprise was that i encountered many things that seemed familiar to me. Kind of a déjà vu experience actually. I realized all this shouldn’t have surprised me at all, cos per definition everything in this room belonged to me, was already mine from the outset. I just didn’t know.

So remember this: Contrary to what many believe and probably was imposed on u too, the unknown is not a scary place. It’s not a desert, a wasteland, a minefield, or a dark place u should avoid at all costs. It’s a beautiful place, a treasure-chamber filled with possibilities, promises, resources, and endless horizons for u to explore and cross over. The unknown is like a magnificent symphony taking u on a risky but also incredibly soothing journey on the waves of an ocean, the winds of hurricanes, peaceful lakes, and thundering waterfalls. It can destroy u. But only if u fear it.

This closed room of Johari, this so-called unknown territory, is not fitting the femdom way of living. A femdom and her slaves should consider this room their second open room. Maybe more private than the first one, but still open to her and her loved ones, her sisters and soul slaves.

It’s here that i found for instance an opening to the afterlife, based on the first 2 laws of thermodynamics. I wrote about that in a previous blog.

It’s here that i found a contradiction, a paradox nested within the core of my personality, a fantasy about an event which never will take place for real. Or will it? Let me explain.

I enslave men and women alike. I’m mostly at the extreme end of the d/s hyperbola. I never switch. I never wanted to be someone’s slave. And i never will be. And yet, the most thrilling thing i can imagine is, that one day a woman will come along who will mercilessly force me into slavery, who will unconditionally make me her own, and will imprison me for life. And i’m not talking some silly role play here, but for real! Brutal reality 24/7/365 forever!

As i said this will never happen. A few tried, but backed off the moment they realized i was dead serious about this, would resist their attempts with all my might, and rather kill or be killed than being enslaved. So i guess it can only be a dream, a fantasy never to be fulfilled. Or will it one day? The very thought of it keeps turning me on over and over again. R u that woman?

Hmmm, and u thought............ "Now when will she cut the crap, and finally begin to discuss Bill's windows?" could have, but u sure u r computer savvy enough for that?


  1. Hello, darling...

    I'm in a room right now. Not very nice but there's a computer. I always find my way to you. Never say never.

    1. Ah u finally arrived? U must be very brave. I mean compared to others eh? Up till now nobody dared to comment here. Guess they suffer from claustrophobia and r afraid of a psychotic episode should they enter one of the rooms.

      Which room do u prefer urself, oh Leather Vixen from the North?

    2. I always pop up. I am the surprise. Unknown, please.

    3. Yes, i like to dwell in there as well. We should meet there sometime.

    4. Come over in that nice new outfit :)

  2. This post is a work of art that I feel unworthly to even attempt a comment to.

    thank you, mistress Ayesha.

    1. A work of art? Well maybe. But in any case it's coming from my soul, raw and unedited. As it should be. As it always does.

      Don't put urself down. U r one of the few in Cyberspace who shows an above average IQ. U r one of the few in Cyberspace i can respect, no matter the fact our views on femdom differ considerably, no matter the fact i often find u a bit over polite, and no matter the fact u insist addressing me with mistress!